


Saving Grace

by WhiteOrchids_N



Category: Shefani
Genre: AU, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:59:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 29
Words: 140,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9589835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteOrchids_N/pseuds/WhiteOrchids_N
Summary: Blake's world has turned upside down by running into a mysterious woman. His personal mission to save Grace might become his own 'saving grace' in the end.





	1. one

"I'm super tired though", Adam chuckled amused as he had just thrown his legs over Blake's lap. Blake's hand patted on his jeans then, showing his so called support.

"Don't give me any details, please",  A rolling laughter left Adam's mouth thanks to Blake's comment, while pulling a pillow under his neck. The next thing he closed his eyes, being thankful for the small break they had before needing to go live.

"I had no idea how exhausting it would be to make a baby, I swear",  Blake covered his eyes with both his hands, not believing his best friend’s silliness. A shy laugh came from behind them then, which caused Adam to snap his eyes open while Blake took a glance over his shoulder. Finding there the one and only Shakira, ready to head for the stage.

"I had no idea you and Behati were trying", she said while allowing her hand to slide over Adam's shoulder as she headed to the other couch beside theirs.

"They literally decided a few days ago and he's already exhausted, the poor thing", Blake grinned, being satisfied that he got to make fun of his friend. The woman on the other hand stayed awkwardly silent, while she just shook her head amused.

"Hey hey!! I barely closed one eye last night!"

"Oh my god, what did I say about not sharing details?", Blake said, faking how shocked he was. Causing Adam to softly smile while he closed his eyes again. Meanwhile Shakira had focused her attention back on her phone.

"So what are your plans for New Years Eve?",

"Me and the guys from Maroon 5 were going to go to some New Years Eve event in LA. Also Bee and some of her friends will be there. Actually we're only going to see one band. But also Justin Timberlake and some people you will have heard of as well will be there. So you'll tag along, right?", Adam asked genuinely, in an assumption.

"Which band do you want to see?", Blake asked to ignore his question.

"One you won't know, so don't change the subject! You're coming with us right?", A country chuckled left his mouth, because yes, he's kinda right, the chance he'd know the band was rather small. Him and Adam have very opposite interests in music genres.

"I don't know man, maybe I'd better stay in Oklahoma and drink myself to sleep", he chuckled bitterly which caught Adam's immediate attention. Also Shakira had lightly pulled her head away from her phone to look at him concerned

"I'm kidding guys", Blake said then as he felt their eyes burn on him. "I mean, kinda",

"Dude, no! Don't make jokes about that", Adam sounded slightly pissed as he pushed himself up on the couch, facing his friend.

"This year might've sucked, but the next one will be your year, dude! I can feel it. So I just count you in. Plus Anna will be there!!!" Adam teased while bringing up his brows multiple times causing Blake to throw a pillow his way.

"Just admit you like her already!",  Blake rolled his eyes at Adam's words while he shrugged.

"I do", Blake answered. "But maybe not like that"

Adam frowned for a second, especially considering how he hit it off with Behati's friend Anna since the second they met a few weeks ago. But then the realisation seemed to hit him and Adam had to hold back rolling his eyes.

"You're not still thinking about that mysterious woman named Grace are you?", As Blake didn't answer immediately and seemed guilty as charged, Adam crawled up on the couch to meet his friend's eyes.

"Oh my God you still do! You should get her out of your system!" He squealed which made Shakira her confused eyes come their  way, as she just shook it off and smiled at the men their craziness.

"No I'm not still thinking about her! You know what? Fine! I'll come along on New Years!", Blake said, trying to prove himself... Even though his mind wandered back off towards that one specific woman.

"That's my buddy talking!", Adam said happily while petting Blake on the shoulder.

 

** 3 MONTHS EARLIER... **

"No darling, that's where you're wrong", Blake let out an amused, pedantically chuckle, making the girl beside him frown while rolling her eyes.

"You're such a stubborn prig sometimes", Meanwhile she flicked her blond, curly hairs away from her shoulder, meeting his eyes. Blake smirked at her comment while closing the gap between them. Pulling her closer towards him by throwing his strong arm around her shoulder. In return she patted him on the back a few times after quickly throwing her arms around his torso to hug him right back.

"I'm still right though, sometimes covers can be better than the original, such as Jolene by Miley Cyrus. Her vocals are better on it than Dolly", Blake immediately rolled her eyes at her while shaking his head.

"You're so wrong about this, I can't believe how weird you are sometimes"

She giggled because of his reaction while she just casually shrugged. Meanwhile she had crouched down to gather some snow from the ground and gently push it into a ball, to eventually just throw it a few steps further in front of them. She loves snow more than anyone Blake had ever known. Most people aren't big fans of the cold, or at least the people that Blake knows. That might also have something to do with Blake's best friends mostly being from LA, where it barely ever drops below zero. Obviously he has a lot of friends in the country business as well, but not even close to comparing them with his ‘the voice family’. Except for Luke and a few more.  

"I prefer to be called unique", the girl suddenly interrupted his thought with a beaming smile transparent on her face. Meanwhile she was already crouching down to start making a second snowball. She seemed literally like a nine year old when Blake had suggested to make a walk in the quiet woods of Oklahoma. And with quiet, I mean drop silent. Especially in the winter. Blake's ranch was basically the only thing around here in a one hour drive area. It's crazy, but both of them like the tranquillity. Especially when Blake needs to spend the half of his time in LA for his job.

"You might be unique but I'm not going to call you 'unicorn' now, forget about that already",  The cowboy answered her clearly, making her mouth drop as an instant pout formed on her face.

"But come on!! Josh always does!",

Just when he was about to answer her that that was one of the biggest reasons that he wouldn't call her that, like ever, he saw something strange popping out in the corner of his eyes. In a brisk movement he turned his head left. His beautiful companion seemed to have caught up on the same thing as her head snapped that way as well.

"Oh my god!", She gasped as she froze in place. Blake standing next to her as well startled for a fraction of a second before jumping up and start running...

Running... towards a woman, almost completely blue from the cold, as she was laying passed out in the snow. Her side completely buried in the first layer of the white snow. Her tiny body tidily wrapped up in a ball. In a matter of seconds, Blake felt the coldness making contact with his body as he fell down on his knees beside the lifeless-like body.

"RaeLynn, call 911!", He commanded the girl who had just caught up with him and was standing beside the woman as well. "Rae?!", She made eye contact with him now with wide, scared eyes, just now realising he had said something.

"911", Was all he had to repeat for her to nervously start searching for her phone. Meanwhile Blake tried to find a heartbeat at her throat. At first trying his hardest to stay calm, to eventually start panicking when he couldn't find one directly. Luckily at the end feeling a very, very slow one. An enormous, relieved sight left his lips then.

"I don't have service, do you have service? Oh no you didn't bring your phone, oh no! She's dying isn't she? Or is she dead already?" RaeLynn started rambling out, being in shock, which made Blake reach for her hand. That caught her attention, as she took her eyes away from the lady to meet his ocean blue eyes.

"She's breathing,  calm down, breathe", After thinking for a few more seconds, not quiet knowing what the next best thing to do was, he decided to do the most obvious. Immediately he withdrew his winter coat from his arms, he lightly brought one of his hands under the woman her back and pulled her towards his chest. Raelynn crouched down then as well, helping him to put the coat around the woman her shoulders.  She seemed so ice cold and fragile, it was scaring the crap out of both of them.  Her skin had turned into a combination of pink, purple and blue all together. Her blonde hairs were hanging drenched on her back caused by the snow.

She was beautiful, that much was obvious.  Even with all the panic going on, Blake didn't miss it either. Her skin in a worrying colour, but yet it seeming to be soft and smooth. Light eyeliner and mascara covering her eyelids and winkers. From what he could tell, she should be around thirty – forty years old. But there was not any sign of life accompanied to the pretty girl, except for that very soft rhythm of her heart.  Immediately Blake's arms went around her body and took her closer in his arms, trying to share bits of his warmth.

"We gotta take her to the ranch, it's not that far, right?", Suddenly Blake's eyes went to meet RaeLynn's now, who seemed to get her things together again. Blake nodded and just when he was about to pick the body up, bridle wise, he noticed a slow movement in her eyes. His heart started racing. Scared as hell that it wouldn've been a good sign. He wasn't an idiot, he had read multiple times about how when people their hearts stopped beating, their muscles gave out. Her eyes starting to open could either be a good sign or the worst possible. He panicked.

When her eyelids lightly tilted a few times, he let out an enormous sight.

This time her eyelids lightly squinted open a few times, before they were able to focus a little longer on Blake's worried eyes. The weird thing was that there was no sign of confusion. She just casually locked eyes with him for a couple of seconds before closing her eyes again. And suddenly Blake felt the weirdest feeling ever. Just by meeting her eyes, so brightly brown, he got the shivers all over his body. Somehow they seemed too familiar, as if he had seen her before. He felt connected with her, without any obvious reason whatsoever. And that scared him even more, because this all was very overwhelming.

After calmly staring at the cowboy, the woman her eyes widened then and was jumped up. A huge scared sight left her lips as she crawled backwards from him. Blake was left surprise by her sudden frightened state and he threw his arms in the air, away from her body. He kept his hands above his head, showing her he wasn't planning to do anything.

"Relax, it's ok, _we_ want to help",  His word choice made her turn her head lightly to find RaeLynn crouched down beside the man. She seemed terrified as she swallowed a couple of times before returning to the cowboy's.  

"You passed out", Blake told her, which made her take a deep breath in as she started to realise where she was. Her brown eyes started gazing around her, finding bald trees with branches covered in snow. Not much more than that expect for the two unknown figures in front of her.

"We gotta take you to my ranch to warm you up", She found his uncertain, hesitant eyes trying to catch hers. His brows raised up, trying to get through to her. "It's not far away from here"

The woman nodded as she had taken notice over how awfully cold she was and about how she couldn't hold her body from shaking. She realised she needed their help badly. Blake moved closer her way. At first he checked all her limbs to see whether she had any indication of fractures. But as he didn't see any sign of it, except for a few tears in her clothes, he decided to reach his arm out to her.

"You think you'll be ok to walk?",  He noticed how she winced right after she had thrown her shoulders up to shrug. "I'm not sure" , her voice was only a soft whisper, that sounded pretty hoarse, but at the same time Blake felt relieved to hear her speak.

"Let me help you get up", Suddenly she was surrounded by two strangers, tilting her off of the ground, with an enormous ease. Must've been the man, she thought. Considering he looked strong with his tall figure. The first steps didn't go easily at all, as her knees basically gave in. If it wouldn've been for the man's arm thrown under her arm around her back, she would've hit the floor right away.

"Don't hurry yourself", RaeLynn said worried, as she noticed the hurt on her face with every step she took.

"If you want, I can carry you to the ranch", The brown eyes met Blake's again with a small, soft smile to go his way. As a 'no-but-thanks' gesture. Also a lot of fears and mistrust accompanied in those brown eyes of hers. It makes him wonder what in hell brought her here.

 "It's really no problem, you're obviously hurting", With this comment she surprisingly had thrown her eyes down shyly.

 "Hey, you can trust me", After a few more steps by herself, with Blake's support though, she halted. Every single part of her body was aching and even though she felt uncomfortable and frightened, she had to trust him. She had no clue if she could. She felt as if she could. But man, had she felt that way before and see where it brought her to.

"Come here", The man carefully threw his arm around her body and picked her legs up with the other one. The touches on her legs made her grunt.

"I'm sorry, girl", Blake said with apologetic eyes, realising she obviously was hurting a lot. Who knows how long she had been laying in the cold. Her body must be frozen at a certain level.  He felt how badly her body was shaking now, which made him tighten his grip around her.

After a long minute, they reached a huge ranch. Blake had noticed the woman her eyes had widened as she took in where they were headed to. Her surprised look clearly made him chuckle, forgetting about the seriousness of the situation for a small second. But her face was just priceless, he couldn't contain himself.

"This is your house?", she said after clearing her throat, immediately regretting it already as she grunted. Her throat was killing her. But then again, which part of her body wasn't? Her eyes were even still fighting the light to keep themselves open.

"It is, yeah", he nonchalantly answered, while caring her inside. I mean, I'm not going to say she wasn't used to a lot. She was. God knows how big her own house is. But she just didn't expect for their ranch to be the size of a hotel.

The warmth of the house hit her skin immediately, which wasn't the best thing either. Her skin started tinkling because of it, which made her clench her teeth. It hurt, badly. Especially the first minute inside. Blake had slowly placed her down on the soft leather of the couch. But she felt so cold, she basically couldn't focus on anything but that. She had tried to move her legs up to her, closer towards her body to share some warmth. But she immediately stopped that when she realised not moving at all might hurt less. So she stayed put on the couch as she saw the unknown man walk up to her with tons of blankets.

 

"RaeLynn, try 911 again"

The southern accent said while wrapping a blanket around her. As she wanted to reach for the blankets herself, he had told her to stay still. So she did and allowed him to throw blankets around her. But suddenly she had felt her heart start pounding in her chest. _Wait did he say 911?_

"Don't", Her hoarse voice suddenly said as her eyes were trying their hardest to purse themselves open. Out of her squinted eyes, she noticed a tall body walking up to her again, crouching down beside her. It was the first time since she had opened her eyes that his blue eyes calmed her. Somehow they did.

"What?", He asked her as he leaned in, to try and see what she had said.

"Call an ambulance", She said.  "Don't"

The man seemed confused, clearly not understanding. She understood his confusion though.

"Please, don't", his demeanour changed all of a sudden, having noticed a fling of fears in her eyes, which made his concern grown even more. But somehow it did convince him that she had a reason. That she did truly not want an ambulance, for a real, serious reason. And suddenly she felt connected, she felt understood without truly giving him a reason to. You can't believe how many times she felt the opposite lately.

"RaeLynn, stop the call", RaeLynn snapped her head their way confused, not hanging up just yet. Instead she must've thought she had imagined his words, considering she seemed to just ignore him.

"I mean it, hang up", he said louder now, trying to make her realise he was serious. After frowning at Blake, confused she carefully brought her phone away from her ear. Eventually after a few more seconds she pressed the red button.

"What's your plan?" A disapproving glance on the young girl's face was thrown his way, as she didn't get what in hell he was doing. The disapproval in the girl her eyes seemed to make him doubt whether he was thinking straight. Because was he? They just found a woman in the woods, passed out by the cold and he isn't calling an ambulance.  But when his eyes wondered back off towards the woman begging him not to, he seemed to get determined again. He had seen that fear in her eyes. He had felt that broken connection.

"Can you please get me my phone?", Only a couple seconds later she handed him the phone and he seemed to dial a number. After receiving an asking glance from the young blonde, he explained.

"I'm going to call a friend of mine that's a nurse", he said, as he heard the beeping tone.


	2. two

** STILL 3 MONTHS EARLIER... **

"So my nurse friend told me that this should be helping you", the man said, while he was lightly massaging one of the woman her feet. At first she had winced a few times when he started, but it seemed to reduce as he went on. So that probably was a good thing.

"RaeLynn is making you some warm milk, I hope you think of that as tasty?", it was an indirect question, but instead of answering, she just kept on staring at him. He was sitting on the edge of the couch, very gently drawing circles on the back of her feet. Gentle. That's truly the word she'd describe him with. But there's something about him. Something familiar. As if she had met him before already, but then again, not really. Just the same feeling Blake had when her eyes met his for the first time. All of a sudden, a soft chuckle left his lips.

"So here's the deal", he said then as he locked eyes with her once again. When he realised how badly she had been staring at him, he blushed lightly before shyly leaving her gaze. She couldn't help but think how adorable that was. "I don't know if you're a music lover, but RaeLynn thinks that some certain covers are better than the original. And I'm not ok with that", He tried to make small talk and clearly was doing his hardest to make her feel at ease. To get rid of that tension that was all over and around her. Because somehow he felt as if he knew her longer, but then again, she was very introvert. And Blake usually isn't really good with introvert people. He can't handle the fact that he might not get through to them.

"So if you want to do me a favour, tell RaeLynn I'm right", he joked now, just when the young blonde girl walked in. She wondered what this was. Like the two of them. He's clearly older than RaeLynn, but not old enough to be her father. Or at least that's what their appearances gave away. But he does seem to be too old to be her boyfriend. So maybe they are just family or friends. As curious she might've been, she didn't open my mouth. she didn't know how to.

What should she tell him? How should she explain that she didn't want an ambulance or police while she basically is still partly frozen..

"Hey hey!", RaeLynn said to Blake while walking up towards them and carefully placing the hot mug of milk in the woman her shivering hands. "Don't let him get to you, covers can be better", RaeLynn said to her now, while winking with a soft smile on her face.

She returned a small smile, feeling the need to show her some gratefulness. Blake on the other hand was now putting warm, woollen sock over one of her tiny feet. Suddenly a loud noise came ringing from behind her, making her shake her head towards it briskly.

"Be careful, it's hot!", The man said while reflexively reaching towards her hands with the milk in it. The hot liquid waving inside the mug from her sudden, frightened movement.

"I'll go get it", the girl said, making her realise the noise had just been the ringing of their house phone. Her racing heart started to slow down again, being reassured there was no danger at all. Not now anyway.

"So what's your name?", His southern voice said as he changed to massaging her second feet. Her eyes had travelled back up to meet his expecting eyes. But she couldn't just casually share her name with this man, share her story with him. He might seem trust worthy, but she has been wrong about that before. She learned to not just blindly trust people. She knew he was waiting for an answer, but she couldn't.

"My name is Blake, by the way", he said once he realised that no answer was following any time soon. To her big surprise he seemed patient and stayed calm and sweet. Instead of being mad and irritated by her rather rude behaviour. Something she wasn't used to.

"You wanna hear something funny?" A smile brightened up his face and she felt the corners of her mouth curl up as well. She nodded then, before taking a small sip of the milk. Feeling the hot liquid go down her body. A rather burning feeling actually, she was happy she only took a small sip to start with. Her body clearly wasn't ready for the sudden temperature change.

"I feel like I've seen you before", Her eyes widened by that. It scared her that he might know her and who she is or what her life is about. He had noticed her frowning face as he placed the second sock on her other feet now.

"But then again I think I would've remembered such a beautiful woman like you", She blushed while taking another small sip of the milk. A deep belly laugh reached her ears. God she swears she heard that laugh before.

"So it starts with a 'G', hah?", His sudden question caught her attention again. "Your name", he pointed towards the necklace she was wearing with the letter 'G' on it. She simply glanced up from her mug and gave him an agreeing stare.

"Ok, well maybe I should guess", That made her smiled amused, while trying to stretch out her arm to place the mug on the coffee table. In a fraction of a second Blake had leaped up and token the mug out of her hand and placed it down for her instead. Her heart whelmed up at how caring he was. Another thing she wasn't used to.

"Thank you", She said, surprising even herself, when her voice wasn't sounding as bad any longer. A bright smile lightened up his face, clearly seeming to be pleased that she said something. And that it didn't sound hoarsely any longer. Probably thanks to the milk.

"So G..." He brought his hand up to his face to think for a few moments. "Gretl"

A laugh escaped her body, immediately regretting it when she felt an ache shooting through her body because of it.

"You ok?", It surprised her how in tune he was with her. How he was sitting right next to her already, with one hand on her back, to try and reduce the pain. She nodded, reassuring him.

"So have you ever seen the sound of music?", he asked her suddenly, making her eyes grow. Because that answer would've been over a hundredth times.

"It's my favourite", She admitted, which made him smirk up at her. For the first time she noticed how endearing those dimples of his are.

"Well, the youngest one is named Gretl, right?" She nodded immediately excited by thinking about the movie. Her excitement made him smile brightly at her.

"But I bet that's not your name thought", he chuckled, leaving her laugh now as well. "No it isn't"

"I get it if you'd rather not share your name with me, for some mysterious reason, but I have an idea. I do want to be able to call you something, so chose yourself a name. Whichever you want", Blake said with a big, silly grin on his face and she had to hold back her laughter. But she did as he told her and thought about a name. One with 'G' though, wanting to leave something to his imagination, leaving him with a chance of truly knowing her name.

"Grace", she said then nice and firmly. After considering for a few seconds to tell him her real name after all. But it wasn't safe.

 "Nice to meet you, Grace", he said as he turned her way on the couch.

"So Grace... would you want to tell me what the deal is with you and hospitals?", he asked shyly. Scared maybe even. Scared that he's poking into her private life where he has no right to at all. But then again, he was really worried, for obvious reasons. Because he might be ok with not knowing her real name, the mystery still is a weird thing. It's scary. Because why would she have to keep it a mystery and why was she passed out in the snow like that? He didn't know anything about the woman sitting wrapped up in blankets on his couch, sipping on one of his mugs. But yet he felt as if he did. As if he could trust her. You can have that with people, right? That instant connection? He trusted her, without knowing a single thing about her. But he was concerned.

"Um-- well--", she stumbled out, indicating already that whatever was following wouldn't be the truth. "--I don't have health insurance",

He frowned at her for a few seconds, trying to see through her. To see whether she was telling the truth. Because except for the way he found her in the woods, she was a very wealthy looking woman. You could still tell by her make-up and the way her clothes were supposed to look. All of it wasn't cheap. So why wouldn't she have insurances? And why did she hesitate?

"Is she your family?" She asked now showing her curiosity while nodding towards RaeLynn who was still on the phone.  Obviously wanting to change the subject. Another suspicious thing. He decided to let it go, though. It wasn't his business anyway.

"No. I don't really have a family", Suddenly she heard some bitterness in his voice, some hurt. Making her wonder what he had been through to say such a thing. Who broke his heart. "But she is the closest to a daughter I'll ever have. We work together though"

"What do you do?", The way she kept on asking questions, honestly surprised him as he gave her a frowning glance.

"Well Miss. Curious, you don't even want to share your name with me, but you sure as hell show a lot of interest now", he chuckled, which made her feel lightly embarrassed.

"Sorry",

"No no, it's fine. We're actually --", He began when he was interrupted by RaeLynn's voice.

"Blake?"

"Yes, sweety?", he answered, turning his attention to behind him.

"It was Adam calling about when we'll be back in LA because apparently the voice arranged some meeting for next season and he needed to check if you're free", Suddenly it hit her. Her eyes widened as her brows flew up.

"Oh My God", she stumbled out genuinely surprise by her realisation. _This can't be true, right?_   Her shocked voice made Blake turn his head her way again, giving her a wondering look.

"You're Blake Shelton", Her voice was high as her mouth dropped in shock. That made him laugh while shaking his head.

"Oh so you do know me?", he said then, obviously already having figured she had no interest in country music whatsoever. But she couldn't place it that she hadn't been able to put that face to that name earlier. She has never truly watched the voice because she hasn't had time with the kids or with her job. But God yes, of course. He's the freaking of king of country music. What chances brought her here?

"You're a fan or something?", he said shyly as she had been awkwardly staring at him in total awe.

"I'm sorry, whoa, my brain obviously was frozen", that made him let out a big laugh. That deep belly laugh she had recognized earlier. From the television, she knows now.


	3. three

  **STILL THREE MONTHS AGO...**

 

“Let me help you out of those wet clothes, ok?”, Gwen her bright brown eyes were staring at the girl in front of her. Not saying a word as she took her in. She must also be a country artist, Gwen had thought. But she didn’t recognize her, which didn’t surprise her either. After all country music is the genre of music farthest away from what she usually listens to.

“so I have a big warm flannel shirt and warm pyjamas pants here. We’re gonna get you in to that, ok?”, Gwen hadn’t even blinked while staring at her. Carefully she had noticed RaeLynn reach for her shirt. But only a second later Gwen immediately crawled away on the couch.

“It’s ok, I won’t hurt you. I want to help”, with that RaeLynn tried again but yet she stayed with her arms wrapped around her shirt. Her eyes still widely opened, watching Rae every move.

“I want to help”, she repeated, making the woman swallow. “Let me, please. You’ll not get better in these clothes”, A few more seconds passed before the woman’s arms luckily less tidied around her and allowed Rae to help her.

Blake on the other hand had withdrawn himself, not wanting to make Gwen feel mistrusted. He’s a guy after all. And also maybe in the meantime he should call Adam back.

“Oh God”, Blake heard RaeLynn mumble out, coming from the living room just when he was about to dial Adam’s number. Slowly he moved a few steps towards the doorframe, poking his head in the living room. Facing a worried RaeLynn with only the back of Gwen’s head visible to him. He frowned, wondering what caused the shock on RaeLynn' s face. The second she had token in his presence, Rae’s eyes met his.

“Blake”, was all she said with a worried voice, indicating he had to come back over. So he did immediately and he could've jumped up by what he saw. Yes her skin had always been a mixture of weird colours because of the cold, but this was different, in many ways.

RaeLynn had lightly brought up Gwen her shirt, showing her bare stomach. Her coat had also been thrown aside, as her arms had been visible now. Scratches and dark bruises were covering her entire body, her stomach, shoulders, arms…  Her entire upper side of her body… that didn’t seem right. Seeing Gwen her as surprised face made it clear she hadn’t seen those before either. Indicating this all was from whatever had happened in the woods. Leaving her startled as well, she didn’t open her mouth.

“Oh my God”

Gwen started to curl up into a ball then, out of embarrassment, making RaeLynn let go of Gwen's shirt and instead decided to just cover up her body with the flannel on top of the shirt.

“What happened to you?”, Blake asked worried, more to myself than to her, knowing she wouldn’t that question answer anyway.

 

 

 

“Maybe we should call the police”, RaeLynn had hesitated to speak, knowing Blake wouldn't like it. She had decided to whisper the words his way anyway as the both of them had moved to the other side of the living room. Not wanting to alarm Gwen. Meanwhile Blake immediately shook his head, as she had expected.

“She would run”, He answered.

“Come on, Blake? This is off! She’s fully covered in cuts and bruises and doesn’t want us to call an ambulance. For all we know she’s some crazy psychopath or a missing person!”

Blake knew she was right. This isn’t right. Something is badly wrong here. And yes… they didn’t know her. He allowed his eyes to wonder off to her, laying on the couch, terrified and exhausted staring out in front of her. He shook his head again.

“She’s not crazy”, he said determined. “She’s just scared”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Just trust me. She’s in danger, but she is not the danger. I just know”

 

 

 

 

"This always has been my favourite part!", Blake pointed towards the television screen making Gwen softly giggle. "Mine too", she said after a few seconds as she had suddenly realised how she hadn't paid attention to the screen for ages. Instead her gaze had been focused on the cowboy right beside her, her body carefully wrapped up under a blanket. When her eyes had fallen back on the movie and she noticed he had been talking about the scene in which Captain Von Trapp comes back home and sees Maria and the kids tumble in the water, she realised it was her favourite as well. She probably had seen that part a million times already. The Sound of music was the movie she'll never get tired off. But for some reason his presence was more important now.  

Gwen noticed how Blake started chuckling along when the part came when Maria fell out of the boat now. His eyes lightly lit up as he kept his eyes adorable locked on the television. The darkness had fallen over hours ago. And when Gwen had told Blake she should probably call a cap or something to drop her off at some hotel, Blake had shaken his head. Telling her it was no problem at all if she'd stay the night, considering he has a tons of spare rooms here. That she shouldn't worry too much and shouldn't feel rushed. Recovering should be her priority. Considering he had insisted, she did stay. Even eating a few bites from some pasta RaeLynn cooked up for her. RaeLynn had headed to bed already though.

So that's how the both of them ended up on the couch, watching the sound of music.

"So have you ever seen an episode of the voice?", Blake asked her then suddenly, as his eyes met hers.

She threw him a guilty-as-charged kind of look, which made Blake chuckle.

"I would love to see it, I would!", Gwen immediately jumped in defence though, which caused him to laugh even more.

"It's fine, Grace, I just wondered", he had slightly turned his body my way now, also taking his attention away from the movie now.

"No, I'm serious! I'm usually busy with my --", she was about to say kids. But should she? Like truly include him in her personal life? The more he knows, the more difficult it will get once she had to leave this place, to never let him hear from her again. She shouldn't. So instead she said the next best thing.

"my job" , she said instead, not completely lying either. Because it was either  her kids keeping her busy or her job. Anyway Blake  frowned.

"What kind of boss makes you stay so late at your job?" , That made Gwen let out a loud laugh as he was literally in shock.

"Myself. I'm my own boss", Gwen casually said then. Because no one obligated her to stay at her record label until Midnight. But it was better that way, a good excuse to get away from her life for a bit longer. Even if that meant not being able to say goodnight to her kids every day. Her heart ached whenever that thought reached her mind. But yet sometimes she just wasn't able to get herself up and head towards that house.

"Oh really? What do you do?", He asked interested, with a soft smile on his face. Gwen her mind was racing, trying to find anything not too far away from her real life.

"I'm the head of a fashion company in LA. You wouldn't know it", she said then which made his mouth drop open.

"Should I take that as an insult, pretty girl?", That made Gwen let out a giggle as he pointed towards the clothes he was wearing.

"No, no! I love your flannel shirts!", she said then, hugging the flannel of him that she was wearing close to her body, making him burst out.

"Ok but serious now, I'm impressed. That sounds like a beautiful job",

"Yours as well cowboy", That made him nod in agreement as she noticed a short shiver go over his body.

"Are you cold?", She asked immediately, as he just nonchalantly shrugged it off. Gwen rolled her eyes at him then, as she crawled his way on the couch instead. Wrapping the large blanket around him as well, sharing it now.

"Hey, like, you shouldn've come up with an excuse, you know? You could just as well just ask to cuddle up to me. I totally get that you want to tell your friends you shared a blanket with the king of country", he smirked, as he was obviously only teasing her. Her hand pushed him on his chest, as she laughed with him.

"You're an idiot, Blake Shelton", That made him throw his head back a little as a laugh rolled off of his lips.

"So tell me, Blake, what did you want to be while growing up?",

"I wanted to be a heart surgeon", In one brisk movement Gwen threw her head his way.

"You serious?", he nodded then as he let out a low chuckle.

"Yeah but it didn't take me long before I realised I didn't have the brains for that", It was Gwen her turn now to throw her head back and laugh. After that just shaking her head slightly.

"What about you, Grace?", Every time he used the name 'Grace', she felt guilty. As if she was playing him. And this man, he didn't deserve that. She tried to hide her light change of mood.

"I wanted to be a star", she said then with a big grin on her face. Blake on the other hand just kept on staring at her with a soft smile, waiting for her to go on.

"I wanted to walk red carpets, win awards, be on stage in the spotlight... Be named woman of the year", Blake loved how soft her voice was in that moment, even softer as usual. A tiny smile brightening up her face as she looked back at his blue eyes as hers sparkled.

"In what genre? Music? Acting -- ohhh or a host?", Blake's voice was super excited as he genuinely moved his arm a bit up and placed it on the top of the couch.

"What? A host, really?", Gwen laughed in disbelief.

"Yes! You have such a personality, it totally shows", his eyes locked with hers for a few seconds too long before she shyly glanced away.

"You know, like take Ellen DeGeneres, she's able to project her personality over on every single person on the earth",

"Yeah, but I'm not Ellen", she laughed again, which made him chuckle along.

"Ok, well maybe not a host then, because you'd be too kind and not ask annoying question which wouldn't give you any exclusives",

"That's so true", she said as she had found herself lightly leaning into his body, as her body started to get cold again. So typically her, she's practically cold on ever single minute of every single day.

As Blake felt her hand lightly brush against his bare skin and he felt the coldness, he immediately dropped his arm from on the top of the couch to around her shoulder. She threw him a grateful smile as she didn't believe how charming and caring he was. He lightly stroke his hand over her arm as her body was right next to his now, lightly warming up already. It felt strange how homey and safe all of this felt. It wasn't the least uncomfortable.

"So acting or singing?", he asked.

"I don't know, actually. Maybe a bit of both",  She said, deciding to imagine herself as a kid again. How she dreamed about being such an actress that turns out to be good at both. Such as some of the girls from the Pitch Perfect movie.

"oehh, such a multitalented person, hah?", He shoot his dimples at her, which made her giggle modest.

"I wish I was", she said then.

"You're a good singer, or no?", That question made her chuckle softly before she answered him.

"Not really", That's a lie.

"Holy cow, it's past 2AM already, maybe we should go to bed. I'll show you a room, ok?", She nodded as he stood up, reaching his hand out to her, to help her get up.

 

 

 

"So it's not a four star hotel and not cosy at all, but!!!", he said while turning around towards Gwen who walked in the room behind him now. ''The mattress is amazing"

Gwen thanked him shortly as she walked further into the room, walking up to the window. Staring outside, looking at the bright stars. Suddenly she felt tears prickle her eyes again as she was brought back to reality. _Blake... he's a wonderful man... but this will end soon_ , she thought. Soon she will be back in LA, feeling like a prisoner filled with fears, away from the stars that shine so brightly here. Suddenly all her misery caught up with her.

"If you want to brush your teeth, I can get you a new toothbrush from out of my bathroom down the hall. I have some unused ones", At first he started to make his way down the hall, to go grab one, but when he realised she had been quiet ever since they walked in the room, he turned back around. Still frozen before the window.

"Grace?", No response whatsoever. So he took a few more steps, closing the gap between them. He slowly brought his hand up and gently placed it on her shoulder.

"Hey", he said then and she took a heartbreaking breath in then, before she quickly turned her body around his way. Her arms being thrown around his waist as he immediately did the exact same thing. Her head buried in his chest, as he made small circles on her back.

"It's ok", he kept trying to calm her down, as he obviously felt her racing heart.

"Can you please stay?", She said as her arms tightened around his body. A sob escaping her body as her body started shaking.

"I'm not leaving, I'm not leaving", One of his hands holding her head to his chest, as he comforted her. And the tune of his soft voice made her break. Tears started rolling out of her eyes and she started sobbing. All Blake did was hold her close, kept on softly whispering sweet nothings.

Eventually Blake did manage to sit them up on the bed.

"You're tired, sweety. You should sleep", He stood up then, which caught her attention.

"Don't leave me alone, don't", Her voice was desperate but she couldn't care less.

"I told you I'm not leaving", He faced her tear stained face as he crouched down beside her on the bed. His hand cupping her cheek. "I'm here. It's ok", he said then, trying to calm her down, which did it's work. The second time he stood up, she didn't freak out as she did watch him every move. Seeing him walk up to the top of the bed, throwing the blankets open.

Somehow Gwen did find the strength to move her way up and wrap herself under the blankets. Soon Blake quickly threw his shoes out and crawled in beside her. Her arm went right around his stomach, as his arm went around her as well. After around a minute of silence, he decided to reach for the light and dim it.

"I'm so scared", she said into the darkness of the room.

"I'm here. You don't have to be",

"In the woods, something did happen", She whispered in his chest. He kept on stroking soft circles over her back, letting her know he was listening.

"There was this man and he went crazy --- he--", she stumbled on her words and he could feel her body tense up.

"He hurt you?", Blake asked which made her nod.

"Did you know this man?", A long silent fell between them, making him wonder if she'll ever answer him, but suddenly he felt her head move.

"No", a huge sight left her lips again as she pushed her eyes shut, but every time she did, she kept on seeing flashes from how this day had started.

"Think happy thoughts, Grace. Just like in the sound of music", he said then, which caused the corner of her mouth curl up. Imagining she was Grace in this moment. Just a fashion designer happening to run into a charming cowboy from Oklahoma. No Gwen. No worries.

"Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens", Blake's southern accent started to sing the first line softly of the song 'Favorite things' of the sound of music. A song about all kinds of happy thoughts, that in the movie was used to get rid of the kids their fears of the thunder.

"Brown copper kettles and warm woollen mittens", Gwen sang the second line right back to him, making him chuckle softly. After that she felt her eyes get heavier and heavier. As the rhythm of his heartbeat made her drift off into a deep sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be finding place three months after these first chapters. Eventually one more throwback to how they ended up going their separate ways again and what brought them to the placed they are in today! 
> 
> Let me know whether you like it!!


	4. four

** TODAY **

It was New Years Eve. Blake had decided to never bring up the NYE conversation again and hoped that Adam wouldn't either. He wasn't in the mood to party and to celebrate the start of new year after the year he had had. But nevertheless today, December 31, Adam had rang on Blake's door and dragged him along with him. He hadn't even had the time to check the artists that were gonna perform.

 

All of them were waiting for the next artist to pull up on stage, when one of Behati's friend was busy talking to Blake. They had met before and they seemed to kick it off right away. Adam had his eyes fixed on both of them the whole night already, as she clearly seemed super interested in the cowboy for some reason. She was hot. Brown, long hairs with brown eyes constantly locked with Blake's. Even though she didn't seem like his usual type, he had made it clear that he wasn't indifferent towards her either.

The last artist that had just left the stage was Bruno Mars. And the entire time Blake and the girl named, Anna, had been dancing to his songs. Well dancing was a big word though, as he more moved the rhythm to make all of us laugh. Doing it on purpose, because he wasn't as bad of a dancer as everyone takes him for.

Adam smiled when he realised Blake had casually thrown his arm around the woman's back, as they waited for the next artist and just made some small talk with one another.

"Anna is enjoying herself", Behati whispered in Adam's ear as she was standing on her tiptoes. Immediately Adam looked at his wife while racing his brows in agreement. Especially when Anna threw her arms around Blake's waist greedily. They looked cute together. And for the first time since a long time he seemed to have a full genuine smile on his face.

When the lights started to dim again and the crowd started to roar, Adam started applauding with a lot of enthusiasm

"You know, I have seen them when I was around seventeen on New Year's Eve as well!", he shouted with a big grin towards Blake, letting him know that the band they came for in the first place was next. A surprised face was thrown Adam's way before they both focused back on the stage.

A slow piano intro started filling the air, and Blake recognized the tune. If he wasn't wrong it was a song from in the nineties somewhere.

"I actually know this song", Blake said, leaning into his friend, yet still having his arm around the tiny girl beside him. That made Adam burst out slightly while shaking his head in disbelief.

But the mood totally changed when both man unlocked their eyes because of the loud screams from the crowd around them. When their eyes felt back on the stage, now being accompanied by the band, Blake's wide grin completely faded.

"You and me.... we used to be together", The cowboy swallowed as he frowned up at the stage confused. The front woman her vulnerable singing voice completely tensing up his body.  With a lot of concentration, Blake focused on the figure, not believing his eyes.

Suddenly his arm slit down from Anna's back, all of it no longer felt right. Nothing did right now. What in hell?

"Gwen is so pretty!", he heard Behati shout towards her man who was nodding at her before pecking her on the lips. Clearly preferring his wife after all. Blake on the other hand just kept on being fully hypnotised by the woman on stage.

 _Gwen,_ with a 'G'. She was wearing a see through white blouse with a black bra under it. A skinny black jeans accompanied by it. Her hair delicately pulled up in a pony tail, as her sight line was hanging beside her head -not in the pony tail- with a black dip dye on it. Red sparking lipstick and those black eyeliner...

 _Grace. Grace is singer? the frontwoman of No Doubt?  Wait Grace is Gwen Stefani? Is that why she always seemed so familiar?_ He couldn't place all of this right now. Why didn't she tell him? Obviously the name 'Gwen Stefani' wasn't unfamiliar to him at all, he knew she's a singer and style icon. But he wasn't able to put a face to the name. It wasn't really his genre. No matter how legendary the woman is, he just didn't know. Just as he obviously knows Lady Gaga and her songs, but he was sure that if he'd ever pass her by on the street, he'd never know that would've been her.

Grace.. He thought he'd never see her again, especially after...

"Blake?", Anna's voice came up to him, while stroking her hand over his chest. When he was eventually able to look away from the blonde rock star, he met Anna's worried eyes staring at him. Probably super confused about what changed all of a sudden. On why his body was all tensed.

In a matter of a seconds, he also felt a firm grip on his arm from the other side. Adam gave him a confused, questioning look. This all was way too much. He worked himself out of Anna's light embrace as he moved passed Adam, Behati and some other guys from Maroon 5, until he eventually ended up in a open space, where he was able to catch his breath. That was until he realised he had left the VIP area and had arrived in the public one. When he looked up, he noticed that some people sadly enough had recognize him already, which made him basically turn his back towards them, as they came running his way. Don't understand him wrong, he loves his fans. But he couldn't right now. Luckily just when the yelps from the girls got closer, he heard a familiar voice coming from behind him.

"Leave him alone! I'm sorry, we love you, but not now, please!", Adam squealed out pissed off, while Blake felt Adam's hand on his back only a few seconds later, quickly leading him towards another VIP area, that only a few more artists were sitting in right now. All the others were at the other VIP area, watching the show.

"What's going on?", Adam asked while gently  placing Blake down on the most nearby chair. Finally Blake found the time to take a deep breath in before covering his face with both hands. He thought about whether he should share this information with Adam. After all he knows he can trust him, obviously. But this isn't about him. This isn't about his private life. This is about Grace. Or well, Gwen Stefani apparently. That thought made him roll his eyes.

"Nothing, I just felt claustrophobic. You should go back, you wanted to see that band so badly"

"Well I'll see them another time. I'm staying with you now. You're certain that's all there is, right? Nothing more?" Blake shook his head as Adam gave him a doubtful glance, having a suspicion that there was something he wasn't telling him.

"No just, I don't know what got to me, man"

__

Anna's arms were thrown around Blake's neck as she rested her chin on top of his shoulder. Her finger tips lightly stroking over his chest. Meanwhile Blake had lightly leaned in to her, trying to relax. Trying to keep his mind of off Gra- Gwen.

"You're feeling better already, sweety?", Her voice was soft and worried while Blake immediately reassured her by nodding his head. Also picking his hand up from the table he was sitting at, to stroke over her arms.

"Yeah, thank you for asking", he flashed her his dimples as he threw a glance over his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry you had to miss that band though", He was talking to both Adam, Anna and Behati. Both girls having walked in a few minutes after Adam and him had gotten rid off the fans. All three of them started to shush him, but he couldn't help but feel bad. He literally dragged them all into his misery, again.

The room lightly started to fill up with people, being obvious the No Doubt concert had ended by now, soon some other band was going to perform, but Blake couldn't care less who it was.

"How about we head back?" The cowboy asked, not wanting to ruin the rest of the night. With that, Adam just casually shrugged.

"If you want to. It's up to you",

"Come on, let's go find the rest of your buddies", Blake said, talking about the guys from Maroon 5 as he pushed himself off of the chair. Adam immediately jumped off his chair as well, right after Behati had stood back up from his lap. As all four of them started to make their way through the crowd, Blake lightly brushed his hand on the small of Anna's back, leading her through the crowd, as the gentleman he is. Adam and Behati following right behind them.

"What time is it?", He heard Anna's voice coming from slightly behind him. After quickly checking his watch, he looked over his shoulder and told her it was a few minutes passed 11PM. When Anna had thrown him a grateful smile which he had returned, he threw his sight back on where they were headed. But suddenly he pumped into a person, who was trying to make her way through the crowd as well.

"Oh I'm sorry", he apologized beforehand, as his eyes then looked down to the woman, as the tall man he is. Suddenly her head snapped up to his and there she was.  Gwen Stefani, right in front of him. Clearly she had recognized his voice the second he had spoken, as her shocked, brown eyes met his. They stood still like that, then, just both being startled. Even though Blake knew she was here and had finally decided to put himself over it, to try and enjoy the night anyway, he felt speechless and confused all over again now that she was in front of him.

"Blake", Gwen said then suddenly, as if she couldn't believe she was actually seeing him here. As if she thought she was imagining this. Before he could open his mouth, he got interrupted.

"Why are we stopping?", He vaguely heard Adam shout, as he then poked his head out, trying to see what the obstacle was on their way.

"Oh my God", Anna squalled as she found the space to stand beside Blake now. "I'm such a big fan of yours!" She cried out while she had opened her mouth in shock.

Gwen had her eyes locked on the cowboy as the girl spoke. But somehow she did find a way to wander her eyes off to the girl beside him. Not missing how one of Blake's arms was lightly wrapped around the woman's waist. Yet she found the strength to conquer a smile on her face.

"Hi", Gwen said to Anna while giving her a small wave. But as that happened, her eyes immediately flew back up to Blake's. She expected to find anger. But what she saw was hurt and confusion, and maybe a fling of anger after all. But not much. She felt her heart pounding inside her chest as she though back on how her lips had kissed his almost four months ago now. How she felt her entire body relax by it and how it felt like home. Much the opposite of what she felt like now.

"Do you guys know each other?", Anna dared to ask then, as she couldn've had missed the tension and the gaze hanging between them.

Meanwhile Adam had come to stand beside us as well, as he greeted Gwen.

"I'm a big fan of you. It feels weird to actually meet you", he said with the biggest boyish grin on his face.

"Whoa I feel honoured! I love your songs as well", Blake felt his heart ache as he heard the sweetness in her voice as she reached her arm out to lightly pat him on the shoulder. Before also throwing Behati a short smile.

"So you guys watched the No Doubt concert?", Gwen said then, trying to make small talk.

"That was the original plan, yeah", Blake said bitterly, not giving anyone else the chance to answer. The coldness in his voice made her eyes focus on his again. He also noticed how the three other heads around him had snapped his way as well, trying to see what was happening here. Gwen on the other hand had taken a deep breath in as she swallowed. After a few seconds of silence, not anyone daring to interrupt in the weird situation that confused them, Gwen started to stroke her fingers through her hair.

"Blake, I- umm", It was painful to watch, both Anna, Behati and Adam could agree. Gwen wanted to say something so badly. To explain all of this, but she couldn't. She also couldn't just make small talk, because that would be as unfair to him.

"It's good to see you", Suddenly Blake said then, trying to fill the silence. And also trying to help Gwen out of her own stumbling.

"How have you been?", Gwen hesitantly tried to act nonchalant. When she noticed the frown on Blake's face, she felt the need to keep on rambling.

"How's RaeLynn? Busy planning her wedding, I guess?", She added once she remembered a concersation with the young girl about her fiance. Blake stood in silence, not knowing what to answer.

When Adam was about to open his mouth, no longer being able to control his curiosity, a man grabbed Gwen's arm. Pushing her body his way in a rough movement. Blake winced as he disapproved the firm grip he had on her skinny arms. But yet he didn't find any kind of sign of pain on her face. Making him wonder whether she got used to it.

"So who is this?", The British accent spoke, as Gwen glanced over to the man. Blake noticed how she faked a smile towards him.

"This are my new friends", she said then, trying to hide her annoyance as he was completely rude by pretending they weren't even there. Instead of asking them personally to introduce themselves, he asked her. Making it very obvious to her company that he wasn't interested in making friends at all.

"Is that so?", The guy asked again, which made Gwen nod.

"Guys, this is Gavin. Gavin, this is Adam, his wife, Blake and --", she suddenly realised she had no clue what to call the girl beside him. "Anna", the girl luckily filled in, totally not minding it. But yet Gwen felt bad for showing so little interest in the girl earlier. She had been too busy taking in Blake and to be honest, Blake's arm around her hadn't helped either. Immediately Gwen had shoot Anna a smile now, showing her the sweet sight of Gwen Stefani.

"Hi", Gavin said then dryly. After that he found his manners after all, as he leaned in to peck Anna on the cheek.

When Blake found Gavin's eyes, he was greeted by a hand pulled out his way. "I'm her husband", he said then. Blake had taken the message loud and clearly, as it was obviously directed towards him. Hesitantly Blake had brought his hand out towards his and shook it. Yet keeping his straight face. God, he hated the guy. He seemed arrogant and -- dangerous. Blake didn't trust him at all. Especially considering Gwen had specifically told him she didn't have a boyfriend, husband or any of that kind a few months back. Why would she lie about that if he'd be the sweetest man alive?

Gavin then leaned in and pecked Behati, soon also gave Adam a handshake. When Blake quickly threw Adam a small glance, it had been obvious that both men thought he exact same thing:

what an asshole

"So do you know any of these people, _love_?" His endearment sounded fake and arrogant once again, as he marked his territory by throwing his arms around her waist. Gwen let all of it happen though, while she wasn't able to completely hide her frustrations any longer. Her eyes met Blake's then, and Blake couldn't help but notice the fear in it, which made him frown.

"No, not at all. I mean, from the television obviously", She chuckled then, trying to light up the mood, which made Adam chuckle along, even though he also had a huge frown on his face. It had been obvious that she had made clear only a minute ago that she had met Blake before and RaeLynn as well. But all four of them stayed quiet. Probably not knowing what the right thing to say would be.

"Who are you?", Gavin's British, vulgarly accent shimmed through the room again. Blake noticed that the question had been asked directly towards him, but he decided not to answer right away. Especially not when he had seen Gwen her head flow up to Gavin's.

"Gavin!", she said then in a disapproving, even embarrassed tune.

"What?", He snapped at her, loosening his arms, as if he had no clue what he just did was extremely rude. That was only an act though. He had done it on purpose. He might indeed not know who Blake was, but he wasn't stupid. Ever since Gwen and Blake pumped in to each other, Gavin had been watching from afar. He had taken notice of the two of them immediately.

"It's fine", Blake spoke up again then, seeing how nervous Gwen got when Gavin had lightly raised his voice. Scared even. "Gwen hadn't recognized me immediately either", he added, as he thought back on when she literally only realised he was Blake Shelton after RaeLynn had told her his name, months ago.

"He's Blake Shelton. King of country. Extremely famous", Adam suddenly said, obviously being done with Gavin. He also had raised his voice now, and sounded freaking pissed off. You can say a lot bad about Adam, but not that he's a bad friend. He's the most protective person you'll ever meet. His raised voice caught Gavin's attention immediately as suddenly it started to hit him.

It was as if he suddenly did know who Blake Shelton was after all, and  his eyes flew to Gwen's eyes. She met his shyly and God it was obvious that she wasn't feeling comfortable at all.

"Blake Shelton... as in that country artist you suddenly, miraclesly started to listen to only a few months ago?", Gavin asked, sarcastically grinning at his 'wife'. "Well well, isn't this a big coincidence how you just happened to run in to him, isn't it?", he was throwing his hands up and shook his hand silly, as he raised his brows, over exaggerating. Clearly he suspected something was off and he wasn't liking it. His suspicion was obvious as he just rolled her eyes away from her as she stayed shut.

"Will you stop?", was all she ended up saying in a whisper, while bringing her hand towards his chest, as if to say he should calm down. That made him let out a small huff.

"Fine. Whatever. I wouldn't have been able to start anything if you wouldn've given me a reason, am I right?", Blake could barely make up what he was saying, and he wanted so badly to come in between. To be her saviour. But that wasn't his place. He thought he knew her, that he understood her. But after tonight, he was just confused by who she is. And if whatever she even told him was real. If that kiss she planted on his lips was real. He doubted it. Just as he doubted whether she wanted him to jump in and defend her towards her very own husband. So instead he kept quiet.

Suddenly Gavin had pulled away from her and stormed out of the room. A big, embarrassed sight left her mouth as she tried to catch her breath that she had been holding in.

"I would love to say that it was nice to meet him, but that would be kinda weird, right?", Behati tried to smooth down the conversation, which made Gwen throw the woman a soft, grateful smile.

"I should probably follow him though", she said then awkwardly while pointing her finger towards the way he disappeared in the crowd.

"Why?", was all Blake said, which made her nervously meet his eyes, with an apologetic look.

"I'm sorry he was like that, he had a rough, busy week", she said with an apologetic smile on her face. It wasn't real though, she was pretending the whole thing and Blake had no clue why.

"Don't do that", Blake said directed to Gwen, making her frown.

"Do what?", Her eyes met his briefly before looking away again. Being scared he'd see right through it all. But that it was already too late.

"Apologize for his sake", Blake answered, catching her off guard. Instead of answering him or explaining some more, she started using hand signals again about how she should follow her husband.

"It was really nice to meet you all", she said then while giving every single one of them a short smile, yet focusing on Blake a little longer. She wanted to lean in, peck him on the cheek, squeeze his hand, stroke his arm. Give him any kind of more affectionate goodbye than towards the others. But she couldn't. Not with the risk of Gavin lurking somewhere. He was waiting on her to follow him after all. So instead of leaning in she took a step back, seeing a frown appear on Blake's face.

"Gwen?", he brought out desperately but she just shook her head.

"I'm sorry, Blake", she said before all four of them saw her crawl her way through the crowed. And she was gone, once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be picking up where I left off and also add the throwback in which is explained how they separated the first time! :)
> 
> What do you think?


	5. five

** STILL TODAY... **

"Gwen Stefani? You know Gwen Stefani?", Adam asked, not believing him. Hell, if Adam hadn't seen how shocked Blake was just then, he would've literally laughed. Because how could a cowboy like him know someone like the queen of rock and roll? Blake then decided to take a good look at his best friend. His eyes calmed him down.

"I don't know Gwen Stefani or whoever we just saw", he chuckled bitterly while taking a sip of his vodka. On that Adam reacted by instinct and took the cup away out of his hand and placed it back on the bar. That way he forced Blake to lock eyes. Adam frowned at him, asking for an explanation.

"I do know Grace...", Blake then finally got off of his chest while letting out a sight. "I do know her as Grace", he repeated as Adam finally started to puzzle one and one together. Obviously he remembered every single part of Blake's story about the mysterious woman from a few months ago.

"Grace?", Adam eventually brought out in shock while his eyes were wide opened.  "As in the girl you found frozen in the woods, covered up in wounds? As in the girl who kissed you and then disappeared all of sudden?", Blake winced at his words while rolling his eyes. Because really? Was it necessary to put the facts out there again? As if he didn't remember ever part as if it only happened a couple of minutes ago.

"Which other Grace do I know?", Blake snapped his way while looking at his best friend with a dumb look.

"How can you not see that she's Gwen Stefani?", Adam asked dumbfounded. He immediately regretted those words when he saw Blake throwing him a nast glance.

"Gee, I don't know, Adam! Maybe I'm just stupid!", Blake answered irritated.

"No you are not", Adam said then and reacted by shoving the cup with liquor his friend's way again. Agreeing it sure as hell was worth getting drunk for.

"Whoa man, I'm gonna get a Vodka myself now", Adam said as he was still trying to process the information. And just like Blake thought about what's next. What'd be the right thing to do now. Blake sighted before taking a few more sips from his liquid while he kept repeating Adam's words in his head:

_Grace as in the girl who kissed you and then disappeared all of sudden_

****

** 3 MONTHS EARLIER... **

The three of them just had breakfast, but Gwen didn't seem to get much in. She was mostly just steering around with her spoon and staring somewhere in the distance out of the window. Deep down lost in her thoughts. So as soon as they finished eating, RaeLynn prevented Gwen from helping her clean up the table and instead had lead her back to the couch.

"Hey you", Blake spoke once he had helped cleaning up the table and was walking up towards the couch.

A shy smile came across Gwen's face as she withdrew her legs from the couch, to make place for him. Instead of taking the new found place, he had other plans. He took a seat on his coffee table, which gave him the possibility to sit right in front of her. Their knees were touching one another. After an awkward silence for over a few seconds, Blake took a deep breath in.

"I'm worried about you", That made Gwen sheepishly bring her eyes to meet his. Because this isn't what she wanted. She didn't want to involve anyone with her misery. Especially not a caring man like Blake. He didn't deserve that, he deserved more.

"I know you think it's unnecessary for me to worry, but I do. I know I don't know you, but somehow I feel responsible here. Maybe it's because we found you passed out or maybe it's because you're the type of person I love hanging out with.--", that last sentence in particular had caught her immediate attention as she couldn't help but softly smile at that. "--the type of person that could easily fit in with me and my friends...", he added shyly. Gwen swallowed, as she did all she could to remain her eye contact with him.

"I'll tell you honestly, I don't know what it is about you. But I'm worried about you, Grace... and I don't want to let go of this",

A crocked smile was forced on her face as she had to hold back a few tears. She reached her hands towards his knees, to place her hands in his.  

"I'm ok, I promise. Please don't worry"

"You should go to the police, tell them whatever happened to you", he said which made her throw her eyes down. "Let me take you",

"Ok", Gwen decided suddenly. She needed to go, soon. Away from here, before she involves him even more. She needs a plan. Her comment had left him genuinely surprised.

"Are you serious?", all she did was nod while faking a petite smile. After that she stood up, fully convinced to head to the police station.

 

 

The beautiful blonde was busy texting on her phone, making Gwen wonder whether she had a husband at home. She was wearing an engagement kinda ring. When a bright smile came to RaeLynn's her features, Gwen couldn't help but smile along.

"A special someone?", She decided to tease the younger girl, who immediately changed her gaze to meet Gwen's brown eyes. Within a second she was nodding enthusiastically with the biggest grin.

"My fiancé", Her voice sounded proud because of the specific word.

"They recently got engaged", Blake said while chuckling as he came back from the parking meter and placed the ticket on his dashboard.

"You seem happy, that's good", Gwen spoke softly with a small smile thrown Rae her way, which she returned. Even though Gwen felt her heart ache, remembering the time she used to feel that way with Gavin. How proud she used to be that he proposed. It almost disgusts her to think back on it now.

"Let's go inside now", Blake said while nodding at the police station. When he noticed how Gwen literally froze as she gazed at the building, he walked up to her. His hand gently on the small of her back, catching her eyes. When that happened, she felt her heart jump a beat. So blue, so honest and pure. They seemed to be able to calm her down, no matter what situation they were in. Without she had even realised it, she was smiling again and all her worries drifted away.

"I'm right here, you know", RaeLynn said then, as she was awkwardly watching their love eyes while almost drooling over one another. That made Blake look away from Gwen while chuckling deeply. Gwen on the other hand just blushed while she let out a small giggle as well. Nevertheless Blake's hand had stayed put as he started to lead her towards the building. Gwen's heart sank inside her chest. This is it, we're here, she thought to herself as she had to prevent herself from allowing her tears to roll.

"You're ok?", Blake asked while she felt his hand stroke soft circles on her back, trying to calm her down. She nodded while swallowing. Meanwhile the electronic sliding doors opened and leaded them towards the counter with around two people waiting in front of them.

"Blake?", He hummed as he met Gwen her eyes, staring up at him. Gwen noticed the worry in his eyes as he gave her a comforting smile.

"I really need to go to the toilet", she said while grinning at him innocently, which made him chuckle while shaking his head amused.

"Well hurry up then!", he said  while nodding towards a door a little further in the building. Gwen smiled up at him while she started to take a few steps away from him. But suddenly she stopped herself. With that she took a deep breath in and considered her options.

After staying put for a few more seconds and hearing her name being called by the southern accent behind her, she turned around in a brisk way. With one more step she was right in front of the cowboy again as she threw her arms around his neck. That same second she brushed her lips on his. Blake obviously was startled as he gasped and his hands flew slightly in the air, not knowing what to do with them. Eventually when she withdrew, his hands had found his way towards her waist.

The next time her eyes locked with his, she bit her lip, not knowing what to say next. Blake's eyes were wide open, still taking in what just had happened.

"What was that for?", he asked, trying to hide the grin that was forming on his face.

"For taking care of me", Gwen said then while smiling right back at him, getting lost in those eyes of his again.

"And again, I'm right here", RaeLynn whispered more to herself as she shook her head with a chuckle before returning her attention to her phone. Both Gwen and Blake burst out in laughter before he lightly petted her back and gave her a small push towards the toilets.

As Gwen obeyed she took a few steps backwards taking in his beautiful sight one last time. His sideburns. His curly hairs. Those piercing blue eyes. Those dimples. When she felt her eyes get teary, she quickly turned her back his way and headed towards the toilet. Opening the door and closing it right behind her.

Suddenly she found herself standing at the sink, looking at her reflection in the mirror. That was it. The tears started rolling over her cheeks as mascara streams started to form on her face. For a few seconds she let them roll as she thought about what her options were now. She could just run back to the man she started to have feelings for in such a short time and tell him everything as she feels safe in his embrace. She could do that. She even considered it when suddenly the fears caught up with her.

No. That's no options. She took a deep breath in. She should stick with her plan. That's when she determined wiped the tears away. Trying to wipe away the feelings building up for this southern man. Trying to wipe away the entire memory of him. She took a notebook and a pen out of her bag and quickly wrote a few words down on a paper. Tearing the page out of her book.

She searched for her phone and dialled a number. After a few more rings, a voice vibrated through the phone.

"Good morning, with what can I help you?"

"I need a cab, I'm a few blocks away from the Police station in Tishomingo", Gwen said, as she gather her things and uneasily started to open the window in the toilets. She rolled her eyes at herself as she literally threw her leg out of the window and climbed out of it. The fresh air hitting her face as the women on the other line asked for a specific address. Gwen answered her a street name not that far away from here, which she had looked up on her phone on the way to the police station.

And the moment the phone line dropped and the voice from the woman disappeared Gwen realised she was all alone now. Soon in a cap heading back towards the hell while Blake would still be patiently waiting for her while telling the officer behind the counter that they were still waiting for someone. Until the moment he'd start to get suspicious and ask RaeLynn to go check on her. Only to find all empty toilets with a slightly cracked open window. And then the moment will come that she finds a paper with three words written on it:

_ 'I am sorry. G"_

It'd be RaeLynn's task to go tell him. Tell him the woman he trusted and defended towards RaeLynn was untrusty after all. That she ran off and just played him like a fool. Because that would be what it seems like. Meanwhile that wasn't the reality. Tears were running down Gwen her face as she opened the cap door and got in.

When the driver caught her teary eyes through the backview mirror he turned his head her way.

"Madame, are you ok?"

"Yeah- I -I just need to get to the airport, can you do that?", she stumbled while trying not to burst out in sobs. The man nodded concerned as only a few more seconds he started his engine and took off. And just when she started to get herself back together, she noticed a road sign.

_ We hope to see you again soon, in Tishomingo! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phewwww! Next chapter will be back on New Years Eve!
> 
> You all still enjoying this?


	6. six

** TODAY: **

"Blake?", Adam asked worried.  "What do we do now?"

"What do you mean?", Blake asked sarcastically while taking another gulp of his drink.

"Something happened to the rock and roll queen. Like something bad. Shouldn't we do something?", Adam clearly was conflicted with himself as Blake just shrugged.

"Not much we can do, buddy. This is her choice", Blake said as he pushed himself off of the stool.

"If you don't mind I'm heading home early", Blake added which made Adam smile understandable, knowing he won't be able to change his mind now. Especially not considering Adam knows how badly he was devastated about the whole Grace thing. Even before he knew about her being Gwen Stefani.

"Sure man", Adam answered while patting him on the shoulder. Blake then placed both his hands cupping Adam's cheeks, forcing Adam's worried eyes to lock with his.

"You go search Behati before Midnight hits and have fun, alright? Don't worry about me", he said to his friend before leaning his head in and kissing Adam on the cheek.

"Kay", Adam said.

"So far for a good new year hah?!", Blake chuckled ironically while throwing on his coat and patting Adam's shoulder while heading towards the exit of the VIP room. "Yeah", Adam whispered to himself while looking down at his drink, still confused. 

"Hey Blake?", He turned back around towards Adam's voice.  "Don't let this get to you. This will be a good year", Adam smile brightly up at him which made Blake's heart ache less for a tiny second. "Happy new years, Adam" , He said with a smile before opening the door and leaving the room and the party behind him.

He had been walking for a couple of seconds down the still guarded area before he'd reach the road again. The fresh, cold air calmed him down as he finally found the silence to order the events from this evening in his brain. Suddenly out of the darkness he heard that voice again. That soft, high pitched, calming voice.

"You're leaving already?", She was sitting on a bench, all by herself in her sparkling, short dress. She must be freezing, he thought. He was dying to walk up to her, give her his coat. Wrap her in his arms and warm her up. But he couldn't. This is not the woman he met and fell for only a couple of months ago. This isn't Grace. This is Gwen Stefani. He doesn't know anyone named Gwen.

"I don't think I know you",  he said then, while he gathered every single piece of strength inside of him to unlock their eyes and keep on walking. Trying to focus on how she seemed ashamed to admit that she had met him before. It shouldn't hurt his feelings as much as it did, but he couldn't help it. 

"Ok! I totally deserved that!", He heard her yelp from behind him. As he kept taking steps forwards he heard the ticking of her heels behind him. Once he realised she was following him he rolled his eyes.

"Blake stop!", She cried from behind her, clearly not being able to keep up with him in those high heels of hers.  Blake chuckled sarcastically as he halted.

"Why? So you can be the one to run away again?", he snapped bitterly into the darkness. He turned her way again then to see her eyes already focused on him. Clearly she had stopped the same moment he had as there was still a lot of place in between them.

"What do you want?", Blake asked then on a softer voice as he saw how she had to swallow before. How she was on the edge of losing whatever she was holding in.

She walked his way then slowly as she never took her eyes away from his.

"I'm so happy to see you", she said once she was practically in front of him. As he didn't take steps back and just stood there staring at her, she decided to just threw her arms around him. For the first seconds Blake just swallowed while he let his own arms just hang loosely beside his own body. After that he slowly lifted his arms, planning on hugging her back. Because her scent, it's so familiar and something he thought he'd never smell again. And her eyes did something to him and the way her body seemed to perfectly fit in his... But right before he'd plant his arms around her body as well, he hesitated and threw his hand back up again.

"No, stop, Grac-", He said while picking her arms up from around his body. "Gwen.", he said then with a sarcastic chuckle as he winced. "You're not Grace. I don't want to be here. I don't want to hug you. I don't even know you", He said while fully getting out of her light embrace now as he took a step back. She stood there. Her hair still up in tail, with a part of her hair from her side line hanging out of the tail with a black dip dye on it. "I should leave", Blake said.

"Can you at least stay until Midnight?", Gwen asked with a desperate, hurtful voice as she tried her hardest to get rid of that crack in it.

"Why? Shouldn't you head back to the party and find your _husband_?", his voice was cold. She realised she hadn't heard it like that before.

"Shouldn't you be with your girlfriend?" Gwen retorted the question as that made Blake pull up his eye brows in a 'she has a point' kinda way.

"She's not my girlfriend actually, not yet anyway", he added the last part nonchalantly which made her let out a small 'oh', being speechless for a second.

"Go find your husband, Gwen", He said then, yet he stayed put. Which made Gwen do the exact same, both of them just stared at each other. 

"It's not like he's trying to find me, so why should I?", She admitted then, to his surprise. Meanwhile she brought up her phone in her hand, to clarify Gavin hadn't texted her. When blake didn't open his mouth after that, Gwen felt embarrased suddenly as she looked down. She took a deep breathe as she felt her heart fill with sorrow. 

"I get it", Gwen said then, which caught his attention. "I get that you don't like me", She said then while grinning as her eyes filled with tears.

"I'll tell you a secret. I don't like me either", she said while laughing through her words, as her words were so harsh and honest that all she could do was compensate it with her beaming laughter. Clearly she was lightly tipsy as well already, which made the whole situation even less bearable.

"Isn't that funny?", she said as Blake just kept his eyes focused on her. Feeling his heart ache as she seemed such a heartbroken mess in that moment.

"I wish I was her as well, you know?", She said with a smile on her face now.  The laughter already having disappeared as she got more serious with the minute. As if all the joy that was inside her head slipped away by now. Only darkness left inside that pretty body of hers.

"Grace, she's lovely. Gwen, not so much", She laughed once more but that giggle then turned out into silent sobs as she started to hide her face with her hand. Once she totally broke down in tears, she turned away from him once more. Just as like she had done a couple months ago.

She only had been able to take a few steps away from him when apparently he had caught up with her already. His strong arms suddenly were wrapped around her neck and chest as he pulled her in hug from behind.

"Not twice", he whispered then as he that made a sob escape her lips. She turned around in his large frame and hugged him right back.

"I'm so sorry", She murmured in his chest as he just simple hushed her.

"I forgive you", He simply said as he held her close. "I liked Grace. And I'm sure she's in there", he said while placing his hand on her chest. That caught her attention.

"You just have to find a way to be her", She stared at him as the noise from the party encreased and a buzzing came from Gwen's phone still in her hand. Blake looked at her phone seeing Gavin's name on it. But when he brought his eyes back up at her, he noticed she hadn't even cared to check it. She was determined not to, that was obvious. So both of them ignored the call.

"You know what I think?", Blake asked. She shook her head. "I think there is this whole wrapping around the Gwen Stefani. You know? Like a beautiful, nicely wrapped up gift. But after all it's not the wrapping we're interested in. It's what's inside. It's your soul, it's Grace", he said with a soft smile which made her wipe away the last tears from her face.

"What's in a name, right?", she said with a smartass face quoting Shakespeare, causing Blake to laugh.

"That's right", he chuckled some more. "You know, I thought I'd never see you again", he said then but before Gwen had time to answer, their moment got interrupted by the screaming of not that far away from him.

_"10- 9 -8 -"_

Blake pulled up his eyebrows at the woman as her phone kept on blowing up.

_"7-6-5-4..."_

Gwen pulled her body up towards his instead, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"3-2-1", Blake and Gwen said along with the crowd, causing them to burst out in giggles.

"Happy New Year, Blake",

"Happy New Year, pretty girl", he kissed the top of her head as an enormous pop of firework exploded above them. They stayed put for around another minute, watching the fireworks together before Blake withdrew himself. Only placing one more kiss on her scalp.

"Have a good year, Gwen", He said then with a tiny, regretful smile, more formal than before. He knew it was his time to go. She should go and be with her husband after all. No matter what kind of crazy chemistry they have, she stays married. And he didn't really know her after all.  So as much as it pains him he starts walking away now.

"Don't be a stranger", Gwen shouted his way then, 'causing him to smirk. Not turning around though, but yet he know she had a matching smile formed on her lips. With that he walked his way to the road as he heard the ticking of her heels fade away from him.

 

\---

**A MONTH AFTER NEW YEARS EVE...**

 

An entire month. Not a word from Gwen. Two e-mails sent by Blake after making his record people search for her e-mail address. Even though she told him not to be a stranger, he never got a reply. He decided to finish that chapter. He was done with it. So instead he allowed Anna to drop him off and Universals studios a couple of minutes ago and was now sitting next to Adam in the conference room.

"As for Adam and Blake, you guys will be put in a car together and you just have to pretend to drive to work together", Mark said, as Blake and Adam were sitting there staring at their boss. "And you know, just be your casual selves, joke around and bully one another, I don't care. You might just as well only breathe and the audience would love it", All three men chuckled, knowing it is true.

Over the years that Blake and Adam have been working together, people still haven't gotten sick of their bromance. No matter what they do or what they say, people will talk about it.

"But that's not the only reason I called everyone out here today", Mark said now as he walked back up towards the end of the large conference table, leaving Blake and Adam on the other side again as he started his conversation back up with his entire staff sitting at the table.

"I have some exciting news for all of you", Mark his words made Adam lean in and pressed his shoulder against Blake's to catch his attention

"Here it comes!!", Adam whispers enthusiastically, both men knowing what was coming next, making Blake let out a too loud chuckle, causing all the heads to snap their ways.

"Woops, sorry", he mumbled when Mark frowned their way.

"So anyway", Mark restarted again. "As all of you already saw on the memo -- hopefully-", he added, throwing a glance Adam's way considering he had came an hour too late earlier, with an explanation that he had read the memo wrong. "-- the shootings for the blinds of season seven will start in two weeks from now which means we're only one week away from the season photo shoot. Considering most of the fans also want to see some beauty and intelligence in it, we decided to invite two other and new coaches, because -obviously- Adam and Blake won't do it", he joked, causing all the members to laugh and Adam to stick his tongue out.

"So I'm happy to announce to every single one of you that the new coaches will be two amazing people and long time friends, Gwen Stefani and Pharrell Williams",

Hearing her name vibrate through the room made Blake's eyes widen as his brows flew up. Adam on the other hand started coughing uncontrollably as he literally started chocking in the sip of water he had just swallowed.

"Excuse me?", Adam stumbled out in between his coughs as his even his eyes had gotten a bit teary because of his chocking. All of that while Blake just kept staring in front of him, one brow pulled up as he was letting this information sink in.

"Did you just say Gwen Stefani?",

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You liked it? :D xo


	7. seven

"Did you just say Gwen Stefani?", Adam asked once more. Every single person in the room had slowly turned their heads their way with confused eyes. 

"Um--, well yes. Is there a problem?", Mark questioned while taking a seat on top of the conference table. 

"Yes!", Adam cried out in disbelief while throwing a short glance at his buddy beside him, to then end up back on Mark. That was because he obviously realised Blake was too shocked to function. 

"I don't ike her. She has an enormous attitude and just-- no!", Adam started to make up, jumping in defence for his friend. 

"About that attitude, we've had Christina on the show, I think we're good", Mark again with his jokes, that even made Blake let out a soft chuckle. Yet Adam kept a straight face, determined he wouldn't let his friend go through this again. Not a third time. 

"Look Adam, we already e-mailed her and she gladly accepted without any difficulties. Pharrell had recommended her, actually and I had my doubts as well", Mark explained, talking directly to Adam. 

"Because I've read so much about her and know basically everything she stands for and yes-- it's a lot", Mark added, emphasising on the world 'lot'. 

"Not to start me on how long she had managed to stay in this business. So obviously everyone would suspect for an enormous ego to come along. But it's hard to believe what I'm about to say now; She seemes like the most genuine person you can work with."

Adam was left dumbfounded and speechless, because what was he about to say now? After all he is most likely one of her biggest fans, music wise. Blake on the other hand was still dumbfounded with the fact that she had just casually accepter the offer. What the hell? After all she knows he was on the show and yet her she'd be. Surrounding him every day and driving his head crazy.... to eventually head back home towards her husband. All those thoughts made the both of them stay silent for a few seconds, as a pout formed on Adam's face. That made Mark let out a huge sight. 

"Look, I'll probably be able to arrange another coach by next week, because a lot of celebrities are jumping for a spot on this show... but you do realise what you are asking me to do right?", Mark threw his hands before his eyes to eventually go up and scratch his head. Adam did everything to avoid making eye contact and looked Blake's way for a quick second. Both men locked eyes and thought about what they should do next. 

Blake started to feel guilty for putting Adam in such a nasty position, cause now he seems like the ass with an attitude problem while he was just covering for Blake. 

"You really want me to call her back up and say the deal is off?", Mark sounded surprised by the how arrogant Adam was acting all of a sudden, because it obviously wasn't like him. Not at all. He rather avoid any kinds of trouble. Adam felt a guilty feeling creeping up in his stomach but before he could answer, Blake's voice filled the room.

"No he does not", he rambled out. "I bet he's just intimidated by her, right buddy?", Adam felt Blake's shoulder push against his.

"Adam?", Mark asked again, which caused Adam to nod.

"Yeah no, maybe Blake is right", Adam hesitated to answer though, as he tried to read Blake's face. To see if Blake really wanted to go on with Gwen on the show as well. There is no way in hell they could fill in Mark on the whole situation. After all, both Blake and Adam promised to not bring the story up ever again, to just try and forget it ever happened. It was not there story to share. 

"I'm just yeah-um-no I'm good", Adam mumbled out confused. 

"Ok then", Mark frowned before he went on about what time we'd have to here for the photo shoot and some more practical information. As soon as the meeting ended, Blake and Adam ran out of the room, clearly avoiding to let Mark interrogate them any further. Because no way in hell Mark hadn't caught up on there being more to the story. 

Luckily one way or another they ended up in the parking lot of Universals Studios without Mark having caught up with them. Not Blake, nor Adam bringing up the Gwen situation, as they had walked in silence. 

Before separting to go to their own cars, they shared a small hug. 

"Thanks for that", That was all Blake said as he let go of his friend and decided to hit for his car. 

"You'll be ok, right?", Adam shouted his way. Blake responded by throwing his thumb up in the air and waving him off. Because honestly, he hadn't had time to progress all of this yet and he really should. And that was only an opititon if he could be alone for a second...

 

**ONE WEEK LATER...**

"Oh wow",

He had only placed one feet inside of the twelfth studio when he heard her voice already, followed by her beautiful laughter. His stomach immediately went into a knot as his nerves kicked in.

"I really, really love that one! And it will totally fit with the way Danillo is planning on doing my hair as well!", 

Blake walked into the open space and his eyes immediately fell down on her body. Her back was his way as she was clearly staring at a black dreww with a white collar on top of it. 

"Thank you for helping me, by the way! I totally don't know howw to do this", Gwen giggled, making the backstage woman from the dressing departement -named Brie- laugh along. Blake stared at them for a few seconds and was amazed by Gwen's kindness. 

"What do you mean, you don't know what you're doing? You have your own clothing line!", Brie cried out in giggles. Blake's mind flew back to four months ago, about how Gwen had told him she was her own boss. How she owned a fashion company in LA... so maybe that wasn't a full lie after all. 

"Oh hi Blake, didn't see you there! Whoa you look handsome today!", Brie casually said suddenly. Gwen's body tensed up. 

Blake had started to make his way over to them and Gwen gather her courage to face him. His dimples were thrown Brie's way and Gwen heart stopped by seeing them again. 

"I know it's just different because it's for TV now, you know?", Gwen tried to answer Brie nonchalant. In the meantime Blake had passed Gwen's body and placed a kiss on top of Brie's cheek. 

"Good morning", He said a bit hoarsly, causing Brie to chuckle. All of that as Gwen her eyes were completely focused on Blake's tall body, not a second taking them off of him. 

"Someone seems a bit cranky today", Brie said because of the way Blake had spoken earlier, making him chuckle as well. It's only after that that he turned around and smiled softly at Gwen as well. 

"Hi", Blake said then as he hesitantly leaned in then as well to ghive her a kiss as well, trying to act normal and not alarming Brie in any way.

"Hey you", Gwen answered equally awkward. 

"How are you?", He asked, trying to make small talk. 

"Good yeah", it was convincing though. Gwen was just about to ask him the same question when he had already thrown his eyes away from her. 

"I'm gonna check on Adam now", Blake then quickly said waving before leaving for the cafeteria, considering Adam spends most of his time either sleeping or eating. A silence fell over them all of a sudden as Gwen gazed at the dress once again. He acted so nonchalant. She didn't know what she exactly expected to happen or how she expected him to act around her... but this wasn't it. 

She felt heavy hearted all of a sudden, thinking that participating on the voice wasn't a good idea after all. That maybe he didn't want her here, because the way he smiled at her right now... it wasn't genuine. This all seemed wrong. Lost in her thoughts, she suddenly heard a laugh from behind her. 

"Whoa! There was this tension here all of a sudden!", Brie stated confused while pulling up a brow. 

"Really? I didn't feel it?", Shaking it off. That made Brie chuckle again, obviously not believing it.

"You have a crush on Blake Shelton, wow", 

"No I don't!", Gwen snapped immediately, opening her mouth in disbelief. Because God, she wished it was just a crush, but this was so much more than that. 

"Yes you do! But that's fine, who doesn't right?", The woman her laugh reached her ears one more time before walking away, after handing Gwen the outfit they had chosen together. 

"Don't set your hopes up too high though, all the good ones always seem to be taken", 

Gwen frowned over her shoulder, facing Brie once more as she smiled softly. After that she left Gwen alone by her trailer, with just her thoughts. What was that supposed to mean? Does he have a girlfriend by now? And why does these thoughts hurt her heart so badly? It's not like she couldn't have seen it coming? Yet she couldn't help but feel as if someone just stabbed a knife through her heart...

 

 

 

Seeing Pharrell again after such a long time did do her good. They didn't truly had a lot of time to catch up with one another, as soon they were all standing in front of the camera already. 

Blake was wearing a vest and looked super handsome as he kept himself busy talking with Adam. He clearly rather not talk to her much. But once the cameras started flashing, he seemed to be super professional. He stroke every pose the producers suggested him to, even when they told him he should grab a hold of Gwen's arm as well. So without hesitating he did what they told him to and it didn't seem to affect him at all. Gwen on the other hand? She felt her blood flow through her veins as his hand rested on top of her arm. The first seconds of the photoshoot felt a bit uncomfortable but after that it felt easy even. Especially when Adam had to throw his arms around her neck.

"Not to flirt with you or anything, but you smell amazing", Adam said with a laugh, causing Gwen to chuckle as well. 

"Thank you! It's actually a Victoria Secret Perfume!", I told him immediately which made a smile grow on his face. 

"Oh from my wifey!", Adam said proudly and Gwen couldn't help but notice the immediate sparkle in his eyes. 

"Aw look at you getting all flustered when it's about Behati", Blake noticed quickly, causing Pharrell to laugh as well.

"Behati Prinsloo, right?", Pharrell asked then, to be sure. Within a second Adam was nodding enthusiastically with a beaming smile on his features. 

"Right on it!"

"Do you guys have kids?", Pharrell asked, making Adam shake his head.

"No, not yet at least", A smirk formed on his face, immediately giving away that they were trying. All four of them were laughing now.

"You guys are trying?", Gwen said excited making him nodd as excited. 

"Yes! I'm so ready to be a dad", He sounded super sincere as he smiled softy at Gwen.

"Let's pray it's a girl, a Behati junior, because a mini Adam... I don't know man", Blake said, making Adam roll his eyes. Pharrell and Gwen laughing. 

"You two do have kids right?", Adam asked after playfully pushing Adam on his chest. Pharrell and I locked eyes, and we burst out in laughter.

"Oh no wait no, I meant separated, not together, oh God", Adam laughed now as well.

"Yes! I do. Little Rocket", Pharrell answered Adam first when our laughter had faded off. When Pharrell was telling some more about how him and Helen always wanted more than one, but that the timing hasn't been right yet, Gwen her eyes locked with Blake suddenly. Well actually, Gwen had been staring at him for a few seconds already, just taking in his body and trying to read his body language. But as soon as his eyes had fallen on top of hers, she noticed him tensing up. The easy athmosphere that had created by Adam's small talk had fully disappeared in a fraction of a second. 

Gwen her smile withdrew from her lips because of the way Blake was looking at her. Not in the way he used to. Not in a worried kinda way, not in a caring kinda way. But with a cold, harsh stare. A unknown and patronizing kinda way. 

"What about you Gwen?", The calling of her name made her snap her eyes to Adam. 

"I have three amazing boys", She was able to bring out with a bright smile now as she thought about them. But at the same time she wondered whether Blake knew that already. He probably did, after all she has read his entire wikipedia page by now as well. 

"They seriously brighten up every single day, like Apollo, that's my youngest his giggles are just--", Without saying a word, Blake had taken a few steps away from the other three. When she glanced his way, she noticed him stepping towards the door and just casually leaving the room. Her words dropped by it as she just followed the movement of his body. 

"Just ignore him, he's having a rough time today", She heard Adam say. When she decided to withdraw her eyes from the door that Blake had disappeared behind, she saw Adam staring at her a little too long. Immediately she wondered again if he knew more. If he knew about Oklahoma, if Blake told him everything, because why wouldn't he have?

"So tell me about your youngest..." Adam said as his hand fell on top of her arm, trying to bring Gwen back to earth.

 

 

 

 

Gwen knocked on the door. "Can I come in?", 

Blake opened his eyes as he was laying on the couch in his trailer. He didn't even bother to pick his head up to look her way. Instead he closed his eyes again, completely ignoring her presence. He really didn't feel the need to talk to her.  She stayed in his door opening for a few seconds, thinking what she should do. At first she wanted to just leave him alone, because that seemed to be what he wanted after all. But she couldn't seem to move backwards. 

So that ended up with her taking a step inside the trailer and took a few steps his way. 

"Blake, please", Gwen tried again, hoping he would open his eyes for her at least. Hoping he would give her any kind of recognition. But that didn't seem to happen for the first seconds, as Gwen just awkardly stayed there, watching how he laid on his back on the couch.

"Why are you even here?", Blake asked then suddenly, probably realising she wasn't planning on leaving soon. Still with his eyes closed though, making sure she kept on feeling unwanted.

"Because I want to talk to you", Hesitantly she took another step closer to him, just when he let out a bitter chuckle.

"Not _here_ as in this trailer, Gwen", He opened his eyes now. "Here as on this show in general. Why are you here? Who does such a thing?",  

She was surprised by the biterness of his voice. So cold and angry. And she frowned.

"I thought you wanted me here?", she mumbled confused, causing lift his head up to her now with a confused stare

"Why would I want you here?", he snapped after gazing at her coldly. For a second she looked at him. She knew she had no right to look at him the way she was doing right now. She had no right to be hurt by his harsh words, but yet she felt her heart ache. Blake immediately threw his hands over his eyes when she had let out a sarcastic, hurtful chuckle now.

"I didn't mean it like that", he said when he remembered how insecure she had gotten on New Years Eve. How she talked about not even liking herself. No matter how badly this woman seemed to keep on hurting him, he wasn't the one to lower himself to that level. He wouldn't just hurt because she hurt him. That's not him, that never has been him and he doesn't ever want to be that person either. So instead he pulled himself up to sit straighter up on the couch. 

"No you did", Gwen said confused as she stared down at her feet. She tried to puzzle everything together, she didn't get it. She didn't get why he was acting this way. She expected him to want to see her. She expected him to want to talk to her, but God had she been wrong again. She shook her head at herself. Sure she hadn't contacted him after NYE, but he wanted her here, right? Or unless....

"I'm so stupid, oh God Gwen why are you such an idiot", She mumbled in between her teeth out of frustration when she got all the puzzle pieces together.

"What?", Blake asked confused now, surprised by her sudden realisation of something. Her eyes locked with his again, but only for a second as she immediately threw her glance down at her feet. 

"Forget about it, this was a stupid idea, I'm sorry", She jumped up from the chair and was about to run out of his trailer when she heard him let out a sight.

"Ok don't you dare leave again now!", He cried out, causing her to freeze in her steps. "Sit down"

After she took a few breathes in and out, she turned around and sat down on that chair again. It felt like an entire minute of complete silence. Not one of them wanting to move a single limb, scared to do something wrong. Eventually she carefully brought her eyes up to meet his, when she had felt his gaze burning on her. 

"You decided all by yourself to be a coach while you knew I would be here... Why?",  He seemed conflicted and didn't seem to understand what kind of woman would do such a thing and suddenly she realised why he hated her so much. She had no idea how to fix this, so she stayed quiet, trying to find her words.

"On New Years you told me not to be a stranger, but then you never replied to my e-mails. And then when I finally got you out of my mind again, I'm sitting in a conference room and Mark tells me that you'll be the new coach along with Pharrell", he said out loud and seemed like a lost boy in that moment. A hurt boy. He wondered his eyes towards hers now again. He threw her a questioning glance, clearly needing an explanation.

"Why would you do such a thing to me? Why would you agree on being a coach without asking my opinion first?", he asked softly, still in disbelief. 

Gwen swallowed as she tried to keep her eyes locked with his. No time to be a coward now and to be the one to look away, not now. So instead she just started to speak up.

"I honestly thought you guys had to agree on who the coaches would be, I thought you agreed, I thought Mark had asked you for your opinion... I had no idea, I swear", her soft voice spoke and he'd almost believe her. He almost did. But then he thought back on how she keeps on disapearing and telling him lies all the time. She has this convincing thing over her, but he shouldn't trust her. No more.

"--and also I--", she added when she noticed he wasn't buying it, even though all of it was true. The way she was wavering caught his attention. 

"You also what?", 

"I um-- Mark he told me on the phone that--", she looked away from him now, feeling embarrased. She just didn't know how to say this.

"He told you what, Gwen?", He got a bit impatient now, which made her turn her head his way again.

"He told me someone recommended me!", She rambled out in top speeds. It took him a few seconds to take the information in, but suddenly his eyebrows flew in the air as the realisation hit him.

"I only was allowed to know that you and Adam would be the other coaches, because Pharrell was still checking if he could free enough of his time...", she kept on rambling and she wished she could just dissapear now. Just anywhere but here. Just to think that she actually believed he wanted her to be there, that he recommended her and that the truth was the opposite was mortifying. 

"Oh God no", Blake sighted while throwing his hands in front of his eyes, just after he had stared at her with an O-shaped mouth. "You thought I was the one who recommended you at Mark instead of Pharrell", 

It wasn't even a question, but just a statement. Luckily for Gwen, not needing to answer that. Instead she let out a sight now as well. Both of them were staring at each other now. Trying to figure out how to continue this. They sat like that for quiet some time, just in silence. Blake didn't know what to do. He wanted her gone but he wanted her to stay at the same time. He felt bad for her, but then again was still so mad as well. Hell he wanted to just walk out of this room and never have to see that beautiful face of her again. But at the same time he also badly wanted to just walk up to her chair, cup her cheeks and kiss the air out of her lungs. He wanted to forgive her but he was afraid to fall for her so deeply again. To fall for the married mother of three who keeps on leaving him hanging for months. 

"Blake baby!", Suddenly a woman's voice made Blake's eyes snap away from Gwen's and met the woman in the door opening. 

"Oh wow, Gwen, hi!", Anna. Of course. Gwen recognized her immediately.

"How about you meet me outside after this?", Anna asked a bit awkwardly as she obviously noticed that she had interrupted something. 

"I"ll be right there, I'm starving", Blake said, throwing her a small wink. She beamed back at him for a small second before stepping back down, out of the trailer, this time closing the door behind her.

"Look, um, I'm sorry that I didn't recomment you", Blake stumbled out while wincing.

"Please don't-- don't do that", Gwen chuckled shameful. "This only makes it harder."

Blake scratches his head.  "I might've recommended you if you would've answered my e-mail's", Blake said, trying to make it less awkward for her, but whatever he did it wouldn't help. 

"No, it's fine. It was stupid to think that you recommended me... f you want me to drop out, just say it and I'll do it", Gwen was standing up now, causing Blake to crawl off of his bed as well. He sighted once more before walking closer to her. Yet he stopped at a reasonable distance. He sighted while throwing a glance out of the window of his trailer, his eyes falling down on Anna patiently waiting on him. After that he looked back at Gwen.

"Look I love this place. I love this job and as much as I don't want you to ruin this for me, I also know this is a big oppurtunity for you as well and you'll love it. So no, you won't drop out. But I don't want _this_ any longer", he emphasised on the 'this' part, making Gwen swallow.  "I don't want you here in my trailer, I don't want you feeling sad for yourself or for me in that matter, I don't want you on my mind ever again", He chuckled sarcastically. 

"Because I think I was wrong, you know? You not answering my e-mails and showing up here now just learned me that after all there might not have been a Grace in you after all. That 'Grace' person was all an act wasn't it?", Gwen unlocked her eyes with his, not wanting him to see the tears that were filling her eyes. Because it wasn't. He has no clue of how badly she want to be able to be herself. 

"But you're Gwen and that's ok. I could be friends with Gwen. But let's just forget about the Grace thing already, ok? I have a beautiful girl out there waiting for me right now. So --", Blake streched his hand out towards Gwen. "Nice to meet you, I'm Blake", 

Gwen had to swallow a few times before looking up at him. He was trying so hard. She knew he didn't say those words to hurt her, he only wanted to make this following months bareable. So she had to do the same. With all the strenght inside of her she reached her hand out towards his and shook it. "I'm Gwen"

For the first time today he smiled at her, not a fake one. Even some of his dimples showed.

He opened the door for her then and both of them walked out of the trailer. Gwen noticed how Blake's entire face lit up when he saw the girl standing in front of the trailer.

"It was nice to see you again, Gwen", Anna smiled.

"likewise", Gwen lied with a fake smile.

"Gwen, I'll see you next week hah?" Blake spoke softly. Gwen glanced there way and she saw their hands intertwining out of the corner of her.

"Yeah see you then, bye!", Gwen answered throwing him smile before heading towards her own trailer.

"Hi sweety", she heard Blake's soft voice and didn't miss the noise of their lips touching one another. Immediately it brought her back to how soft his lips had felt against hers. Tears filled her eyes now as she luckily could hide behind her own trailer door now. 

She glanced out of the trailer window once more to see the both of them walk away side by side, hand in hand...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> phewwwww that was kinda harsh, I'll admit that... I'm sorry. Things will get better between them two soon though, you'll see!  
> What did you think?


	8. eight

**FIRST DAY OF SHOOTING THE BLINDS**

The first day of shooting the blinds raced by like a train. Blake was joking around all day long and was smiling every damn second. Also Gwen couldn't help but smile along and show her biggest grin with every joke that was made, by Blake or whoever for that matter. As much as for Gwen it had seemed impossible to leave the past behind them only a week ago, that seemed to have been rather easy after all.

After an entire day of shooting the voice, she was sitting in her car singing along to some catchy song on the radio and she found herself smiling softly. Maybe this season won't be so terrible after all, she thought. Maybe she could be friends with Blake and maybe she could just enjoy every minute of the time she shared with the three coaches. She felt relieved to be able to be herself around them. All of it seemed so easy. But most of all she felt relieved because she finally was doing something for herself again. When she got the job offer, it might've seemed as just a job, something good for her career - and obviously also the presence of the cowboy she badly craved- but it turned out in something she could never have hoped for.

She felt useful again, she felt what it used to be like to be the Gwen Stefani.

Before she realised she was back in her driveway and was plugging out her key from the car. She made her way towards the house she used to love so much. Opened the black door and arrived on the black and white floor she had happily picked out with Gavin once upon a time.

"Momma!", A pair of arms flew around her body and Gwen quickly ruffled through the blond hairs of her young man. "Hi Zum! Did you have a good day?", Gwen smiled while crouching down and giving him a kiss, before she took her coat off. She was listening to her sweet boy talking about how he had an amazing day with his brothers at Todd's place.

"Did you guys get home a long time already?", Gwen asked him then as she started to walk up in the living room, seeing her oldest laying in the couch, his eyes clued on the television screen. Some seconds later she leaned in to King and placed a soft kiss on top of his scalp.

"Yes, 'cause dad wanted to make you dinner", Zuma answered before Kingston also had greeted her shortly, soon his eyes back on some cartoon he had been watching. Immediately Gwen felt her stomach turn into a knot when Zuma had spoken up. Soon he had dropped down on the couch beside his brother and Gwen disappeared in the kitchen.

Her eyes fell down on her husband standing behind the stoove, steering in something that smelled like beef stew. He was humming an old rock song they used to listen to. Only a few seconds later she threw her eyes away from him to find a big bouquet of roses, white and red, standing in a vase on top of the kitchen counter.

"What is this?", Gwen whispered confused, making Gavin turn around and smile at her.

"I'm making my hard working wife her favorite meal", He said then as he let go of the wooden steering spoon and casually walked her way. His hands on top of her waist as he brushed his lips against hers. Gwen was too startled to do anything at all as she avoided his eyes. She walked out of his light embrace instantly and took a few steps up to the flowers.

"Oh yeah-- I saw those and they reminded me of you", Gavin had hesitated to speak and she didn't miss it. The flowers were beautiful and yes, she loves roses. Just like she had always loved the flowers he had bought her over the years. But as much as they used to cheer her up, as much sorrow they caused her now.

"You like them?", Gavin's british accent asked as his arms went around her again greedily. Gwen nodded as she felt a lump in her throat, making her body tense up.

Soon Gavin walked back up to the stove to steer in the stew again, not aware that something had been up. That was how good he knew her.

"How was your day?", That question surprised her even more, he never asked her about her day. Not even in the beginning of their marriages, and when he did he never truly cared. When Gwen didn't answer him right away he threw his head her way, giving her a pervasive look.

When his eyes truly met hers again, he finally seemed to notice how her eyes had turned teary.

"You didn't have a good time?", he asked confused as he let go of the spoon and wanted to walk back up at her. But as he did, she took a step backwards. A frown grew on his face.

"What's going on?", He asked confused as he already got slightly irritated by her behavior.

"Why you doing this?", Gwen whispered faintly.

"What do you mean?", Gavin raised his voice already, soon lowering it as he noticed King's head snap towards the kitchen.

"Why are you making dinner? Why did you buy me flowers?", She knew the answer already, in the back of her head, but she had to ask. Just as it had been like that for over the last years. Every time she had gotten flowers out of nowhere, without any reason, it was to make up for something. Make up for the fact that he had slept with the nanny once again. To clean his own conscience. But she hadn't realised that up to now. So what was it this time? Was he cheating again? Hiding something?

"Because I figured you'd have had a long day and I --",

"That's a lie", Gwen interupted him, noticing that guilty sparkle in his eyes. "Also, I decided to eat vegan again", She dared to snap his way now, causing Gavin's eyes to trail off to the beef stew and back at her. She was sick of this.

"When?", He asked surprised, causing Gwen to roll her eyes at him.

"Around the time you started to screw the nanny", Gwen tried to keep her voice down, but her anger and sorrow was taking over nevertheless. She didn't know what made her say it, she didn't know where she had found the courage. Maybe it was because of the voice and how it had fired up a part in her again. A strong part she forgot that excisted. When the words had left her lips, Gavin threw up his arm and was about to slam his hand accros her face when...

"Don't you dare", Both Gwen and Gavin snapped their heads to their oldest son, standing in the door opening now. Gavin's hand froze in the air when he saw King's eyes red with anger, his gaze focused on his father.

"It's ok, Kingston, go back to the couch", Gwen said calmly now, even though she just wanted him out of the room. Afraid for her little boys, because she knows what he can be capable of when he's in this state. Not with her boys. "Go back to the couch!", Gwen raised her voice, trying to get through to her son, making him stare at his father with killing eyes, before heading back and sit down.

"I'll go check on Apollo", Gwen mumbled before starting to make her way out of the kitchen. She couldn't face him right now. Not without bursting out in tears or being afraid he would go nuts. And both things were no option with the boys around.

"You come back here and eat diner with us! The boys have to miss you enough already!", He quickly blamed her before she ran up the stairs and left him alone in the kitchen. In top speed she raced to Apollo's dark room. She took a sleepy Apollo in her arms right away as she held him right to her body. The sleepy man crawled up on his momma's chest as his eyes were still closed. And in the darkness of that room, she allowed a few tears to roll down her cheeks. The weird thing is that it wasn't out of pain or anger, but out of fear of what he would do after she had dared to open her mouth. He cheated again, she just knew it.

 

 

**SECOND DAY OF SHOOTING THE BLINDS**

The second day on the voice went as smooth as the first one. After crawling out of the bed that she had to share with that cheating bastard and a little later leaving the kids at school, she arrived at Universals studios again. Totally not in the mood she immediately went to Gregory and Danillo, knowing they will have a hard job making her look presentable, especially after the tears and the lack of sleep... Thank God that make up can cover up the worst damage that caused the bags under her eyes. Another thing she was grateful for was both Danillo and Gregory who didn't ask questions. After spending all those years together, she did recognize the looks they shared with one another, thinking she didn't notice. Worried glances at one another, knowing something had been up with Gavin and her again. But another think they find out after all those years is that asking questions about what had been up, only make things worse. So all they do is tell her funny stories to cheer her up and give her even more affection as usual. And she felt so grateful.

Before she had disappeared in her trailer, she only had locked eyes with Blake for a single second. Clearly that had been enough for him to know something changed. But as they had agreed on leaving the past behind them as much as it pained him, he had to stay away. Stay out of her business.

The next time they locked eyes with one another, Gwen had been covered up by make up and was wearing her blinds outfit again. She was beaming up at all three man as she approached them. When they were all in their chairs again and the cameras were on them, Blake goofed around as usual.

No matter what Adam said, Blake found a way to make fun of him one way of another. With every joke he made, he had noticed that frown reduce on her face and the sorrow in her eyes minimalize. So somehow he found himself trying everything he could to hear that laughter again and to see a small sparkle in her eyes from time to time.

Once the camera stopped rolling, Blake couldn't help but feel the need to keep making that smile appear on her features. To take away her sorrow.

 

 

A knock soon followed on Gwen her trailer door. Gwen opened the door and faced Pharrell's soft smile.

"Oh hey you, come on in", She threw the door further open and walked back towards her mirror where she had been taking off her makeup. Meanwhile Pharrell strolled into her trailer and careful sat down on the couch. After a second their eyes locked through the mirror, making Gwen briskly turn around.

"What happened?", she whispered worried as she had seen the concern in Pharrell's eyes.

"Nothing, I'm just a little worried about you", He immediately admitted causing her to frown.

"Why?", She had turned her back his way again, pretending nothing was wrong at all as she casually went on with taking her makeup off. Ignoring Pharrell's burning gaze.

"You're very absent today, I wondered if you wanted to talk about it", By now he was sitting at the edge of the couch, reaching his hand out to touch her back and catch her attention. Just the soft touch of Pharrell's hand on her back made her wince. It hurt. Pharrell immediately noticed as he withdrew his hand in a brisk movement.

"What's wrong with your back?", He asked now, standing up to walk her way.

"Nothing, just some back pains as usual", she lied, hurting her heart as she had to look that sweet man in the eye while doing so. He seemed to believe her as he threw her a apologetic smile.

"So do you want to talk about it?", Pharrell asked once more, while reaching his hand out to take her. His sweet gesture made it even harder to keep on lying to the man, so she just shook it off.

"About my back?", She chuckled, making him roll his eyes amused at her as well.

"No silly, about whatever made the corners of your mouth drop down",

Gwen sighted. "Nothing really, just had a fight with Gavin, but nothing we can't fix", because she had no other option, she added only in her thoughts.

"Sure there is not more to it?", Pharrell polsed once more, making Gwen chuckle softly as she shook her head. He had held her gaze for a few more seconds, trying to find a hint of lies in there.

"Oh good, I'll have to tell Blake to worry less about you then", Pharrell nonchallantly added as he fell back down on her couch.

"Wait? Blake?", Obviously that had caught her attention as she startled allowed her body to drop down on the couch beside her friend. He gave her a weird look because of her shockness before answering.

"Well yeah, he was acting all strange, asking me to go check on you because he thought something might've been up and with a whole speech about me being closer to you and bla bla bla", Her friend rambled now, causing Gwen to try and hold her tears back. Because he did still care about her. As much as she had figured that all the jokes and all the kindness was just for camera, that had been proved wrong now.

"Oh yeah he also told me not to tell you that, probably not wanting you to think he is interfering in your personal life, so don't tell him I told ya!",

 

 

**THIRD DAY OF SHOOTING THE BLINDS**

 

"Yes of course I have horses there!", Gwen heard Blake's excited voice speak as she walked up towards his voice. Soon a happy baby rambling followed. When Gwen reached the open place in between all four of the trailers, she walked in to Blake sitting on the ground with Apollo right in front of him. "Mommy loves horsies!", Her baby cried out once he had notice his mom come their way. His comment made Blake chuckle.

"she does, hah?", Blake asked then as he looked over his shoulder to face Gwen.

"I do, yes", She smiled as she crouched down in between them. Blake loved how quickly the toddler crawled her way and threw his arms around her neck before sitting down on her lap. His gaze not differing from them as he noticed how Apollo’s tiny hand grabbed her ear, as the kid softly nuzzled in his mommy's neck.

"What was that about?", Blake asked then, nodding towards Mark's office where she just had been inside for a couple of seconds.

"He badly wants me to pick an advisor for the battles now", Gwen sighted.

"You haven't chosen one yet?", Gwen shook her head. Blake's eyes had slightly widened, which was normal considering they actually should've decided that weeks ago, and so had Blake himself. Apollo then caught his attention for a couple of seconds as he had let go of his mother and crawled back to Blake and reached for the horse toy that was in Blake's hand. The country singer let out a deep chuckle as Apollo kept reaching for it.

"You want this, buddy?", Blake asked then amused while lifting up the toy to show it to Apollo more clearly now, causing the kid to grin as well while happily nodding his tiny head. "What do you say then?", Blake said, causing Gwen to smile softly.

"Can I please?", Apollo smiled warmly at the cowboy, causing Blake to drop his arm down and hand the horse toy towards Gwen's youngest.

"There you go", Blake said as Apollo immediately started to play with it. When his eyes went back to Gwen, she noticed how he swallowed.

"I'm sorry, I-- I should've just gave it to him. I just always do that with my nieces and nephews, so well", he chuckled nervously causing Gwen to frown.

"No! Don't apologize for that, if you wouldn't ‘ve had said it, I would've... you're right he should learn to say please and thank you", They stared at each other with soft smiles while Gwen ruffled through her kids hair. Blake took a deep breath in and out as his smile stayed put on his face. When their stare got too intense, Gwen blushed as she looked away.

"So tell me, why don't you have kids?", Blake lightly tensed up by the question as his eyes traced off to the kid still playing with some of the toys.

"Well I met Kaynette in High School and I guess I-- I put my career first and I wasn't ready for kids back then", he sounded regretful before looking back at Gwen who was inherently gazing his way. "And well then Miranda never wanted to have kids, so that's basically why", His serious voice made her heart ache for him as well, because it couldn't be more obvious how he regretted never having them.

"I'm sorry", Gwen said, causing Blake to chuckle.

'Why?"

"Because I'm sure you would make the best dad", The sincereness in her voice was the thing that made him smile. Nothing more than that though, as he stayed quiet and instead just watched how the toddler was mumbling words as if the horses were talking with one another. Both of them stayed like that for a couple of minutes before Gwen started to talk again.

"Gavin wants to be my advisor", That made Blake snap his head her way. trying to catch her facial expression to that. "Daddy!", Apollo shouted once he heard the name Gavin leave her lips. Gwen chuckled by that as she nodded at her baby boy, taking over his excitement. Soon he was back concentrating on his toys.

"So you're gonna pick him?", Blake tried to ask it nonchalant but the way he carefully glanced her way gave the tension away.

"I guess, it's not like I have a lot of options now, do I?",

"Wait, you didn't ask him?", Blake asked confused, causing Gwen to shake her head. "No he asked me"

Just when Blake was about to open his mouth again, his phone that was laying beside him on the ground buzzed. He took  it before immediately locking it again. Gwen immediately wondered whether it would’ve been Anna. She had heard the boys talk earlier about how he had a datenight with her tonight…

"Who did you want to ask?", he said instead of responding whoever texted him.

"Selena Gomez maybe, or Celine Dion, I'm not sure", Gwen answered.

"You should do that", Blake was speaking carefully, knowing he had probably no right to interfere in her decission, yet he wasn't able to control himself.

"I don't want another fight with him",

"You know, don't let him wrap these chains all around you on a leash, thinking you'd obey. That way he'll think that you wouldn't or couldn't escape. That's not marriage, Gwen", He sighted annoyed when his phone went off a second time, he took another small glance at it. This time he took it off of the ground and unlocked it. He apologized shortly at Gwen as he told her he should really answer this. Less than a minute later, he placed his phone down again and glanced her way.

"You have to leave?", Gwen asked him, trying to sound natural. After all she didn't want to sound greedy or desperate or anything in that matter at all.

"Yeah I do", He answered while wincing her way regretful. After pushing on his home bottom once more to check the time he glanced back at her. "Well I'm sure I can stay another five minutes", Blake casually said then, causing Gwen to try and hold back a grin, yet failing as she felt a small smile form on her face.

Apollo was now playing with a train toy, as he casually drove against Blake's leg a few times. The little kid obviously doing so to get some attention.

"Well well buddy, you're trying to destroy my leg, hah?", That caused the kid to cry out a 'yes', before he burst out in giggles. Immediately Blake's arms went around the toddler, picking him up onto his lap before he started to tickle him. That caused Apollo to cry out as he laughed uncontrollably. Soon throwing his legs in the air as he tried to get out of the cowboy's arms.

Eventually after another thirty minutes of both of them sitting on the ground beside each other with their back against the couch, Blake started to reluctantly pull himself up from the ground.  They just had been talking non-stop about nothing truly important. Sharing laughs from time to time.  One of his arms were around Gwen her baby boy as he had fallen asleep in his arms after the tickle fight. He used his other hand to reach towards Gwen, offering to pull her up from on the ground. Gratefully she took his hand in hers and soon she was standing next to the tall cowboy holding her sleepy baby.

"Thank you for the nice talk", Gwen immediately said as she started to reach for her baby boy again. When Blake didn't seem to want to let go of Apollo, she frowned at him with a smile.

"How about you get your stuff first and dim the lights in your trailer", Blake said, causing Gwen to let out a relieved sight. Because she knew how cranky Apollo could get right after he wakes up and then still having the put her stuff together and get ready to head out of here, would surely not have been easy. So she gave him a thankful smile as she told him she would be back in a second.

After a few minutes she had come back out of her trailer.

"I can bring him to your car as well, you know?", Blake asked. "Because Pharrell told me you have some back issues, I wouldn't want you to overweight and hurt yourself"

Gwen felt her cheeks flush while she looked away from his blue eyes.

"That'd be great, yeah", A relieved, thankful sight left her lips now. So they started walking out of the Universal Studios in silence.

"Can I admit something?",

"Sure", he answered.

"You're super attentive and that's really hot", Blake briskly brought his face towards her, his eyes wide open. The sight of him that way caused Gwen to burst out in giggles.

"I totally meant that in the most _friend_ ly way possible, so don't take it the wrong way", Blake let out a chuckle now as well, but yet he could feel the heat rise up to his face and he knew a red blush was visible on his face by now.

Luckily for him they had reached the car soon, so that way he had to focus on putting Apollo in the  car seat without him waking up. Soon also Gwen had buckled the kid up in his seat, and all they had left to do now was saying goodbye. So they stood there, facing one another a bit awkwardly before they spoke up.

"I hope I didn't make you late for your date", She said then, not meaning a word of it because in all honesty, she was hoping the opposite. Also she tried to let her voice stay neutral, not wanting to hint on the jealousy she was feeling. Because God only knows how badly she wished to be his date for the rest of the evening.

"Oh so you heard about that, hah?" He tried to sound nonchalant and she eventually nodded shortly.

"Anna seems like a lot of fun", Gwen said, trying to lighten up the mood again, which caused him to nod.

"Yeah she is—she is amazing", he stumbled out. After that they shared another long look in complete silent, both of their minds wandering off to what it could have been if it was just the two of them.

"Thank you for the company, I needed it", even though Blake knew she wasn't feeling very great, hearing her admit it still drove a apologetic and sad smile to his face.

"Anytime, that's what friends are for right?", she nodded, knowing that he needed to define explicitly what they are once more, just to get rid of the guilt that had to been creeping up on him already. As if he needed to remind himself of what they are not.

But as hard as Blake might have tried to act innocence all at once by the mention og his girlfriends name, Gwen  totally messed his head up again.  She did that by moving in towards his face and for a second Blake could imagine again what it would be like to feel her lips on his one more time. And if he would allow himself to be honest, he would realize that thoughts made his heart race inside his chest.  But eventually he felt her soft lips being pressed against his cheek, dangerously close to the corner of his lips.

"See you tomorrow, Blake", she said then with a blush on her face. Immediately she had turned her back his way and opened her car door to get it.

So Blake forced himself to do the same and walked up to his own car. His head was trying his hardest to focus on Anna while his heart was conflicted. Especially when he was sitting in his car in complete silence. Not to let his mind wonder any further off towards Gwen and how fast his heart was beating at the moment, he quickly turned the enguine of the car on and made the radio fill the car. He focused on the songs on the radio which helped for a second.

But eventually he caught himself listening to the lyrics of the love song and his mind immediately flew back to the blond. He shook his head as he turned the volume completely down and was left in silence again in his car.

_Anna, Anna, Anna_

He kept on repeating her name inside his head as he banded Gwen out it. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t allow this to happen. One more day. After that he won’t have to see her for a few months, until the battles. He could handle one more day without crossing boundaries. He could do it.

He quickly placed his phone on the Iphone lock in his car and called Anna’s number. After only around two rings, he heard her soft voice fill the car. A huge relieved sight left his lips as he focused on that sweet voice of hers and he remembered how much he likes her.

“Hi sweety, I’m on my way”, Blake said then.

“Oh good! I missed you”, she said causing his face to lighten up. “You’re later than usual though, everything went ok at the voice?”,

_No, Gwen is trapped in a bad marriage and all my head is able to think about now is how I should save her out of it._

_No, Gwen wasn’t feeling very well and as a friend I stayed a bit longer to cheer her up._ He corrected his thoughts soon.

“Yes, don’t worry, we just had to do some more promo shoots and stuff”, He lied instead. He didn’t know why he did. Because as what he had been convincing himself was true, that there was nothing going on, then why didn’t he just tell her the truth? Why couldn’t he just now just tell his girlfriend the truth.

After some more small talk on the phone, they hang up. Only a couple more minutes later he was standing at her doorstep, waiting for the door the open. As soon as it did and the pretty lady was standing right in front of him again, he felt relieved. Relieved to see her. So he quickly took a step in and threw his arms around her waist. A loud giggle left her lips by his immediate movements.

“I missed you”, He mumbled in her ear as he buried his nose in her neck. She giggled some more before lifting his head up from her neck and cupping both his cheeks. Her lips were on his then and his embrace around her tightened. They shared  a long, needed kiss before separating.

“I missed you too”, she whispered then while their eyes were locked. And right in that moment, Blake was glad he had been the one to say it first. Because that way he could have said it, buried in her neck. He knew he couldn’t have said it back if he had to right now. Not when their eyes were locked.

As she took his hand in hers and let both of them into her kitchen, Blake suddenly realised something. The one thing he had been trying to avoid coming up in his mind earlier, but there it was now… When Gwen had leant in earlier, he hadn't felt relieved that she only kissed him on the cheek. No... he had been disappointed instead... And if that hadn't been risky enough already, Blake was more than convinced that Gwen felt the exact same way.


	9. nine

They had just finished up their last day of shooting the blinds and all Gwen could think about was how tired she was. She was so incredibly exhausted she could barely stand up straight. So the first thing she did when she finally made it to her trailer was wiping off all her makeup and immediately took a cold shower. When the cold water streams were falling down on her face, she took deep breathes in and out. She couldn’t believe that the battles is still over a month away. The thought of having to live without that distraction again physically pained her. To no longer have an excuse to be gone for an entire day, to be unavailable and to be able to focus on what’s in front of her. Or well with the blinds, technically what’s behind her until she pushes her button, but that’s not the point.

She had to get back to the real world now, deal with the problems she was so scared to face. Leave the happy bubble that she had the privilege to live in for a couple of days.  After a few more minutes of feeling the water lightly wake her up, she turned the shower off. Once she stepped out of it, she was faced by a steamed up mirror. The blurred reflection of herself caught her attention as she was drying her hair with a towel. Her eyes stayed focused on the mirror for quite some time before she hesitantly walked over to it and wiped the steam off of it.

When she traced her eyes over her own body, she brought her hand softly up towards one of her ribs, where a large, stretched out bruise was covering her body. She silently moved her thumb over it as she then lifted her hand up to hide her face behind as she shook her head. Immediately she turned her back towards the mirror, not even wanting to look any further, knowing that every part of skin had a bad memory accompanied to it.

 

 

"Gwen, you forgot your phone at the cafeteria", Blake shouted through her trailer when he took one step inside, considering the door had been wide open. When he looked around in the trailer and didn’t find her inside, he remembered the air conditioning of her trailer hadn’t been working well the last couple of hours, so being in a small closed room probably was too suffocating right now in the heat of this summer day. So of course her door had been wide opened.

"Gwen?", He shouted once more as he took one more step inside, wondering if she even was here. But soon some noise came from the bathroom.

"I'm gonna put your phone on the table here, kay?", His voice still louder as usual when suddenly the door from bathroom flew open.

"Oh hi", Blake said then, making Gwen literally jump up with a soft squeal. His eyes immediately widened as he threw them up in the air. “And you’re only wearing a towel”, he said next, as Gwen had noticed how he quickly gazed away as if looking at her right now would be too tempting. She couldn’t help but allow a smirk to pop up on her features.

“I’m fully covered, Blake, it’s fine”, she laughed while taking a few steps away from him to grab some clothes that were laying on top of her bed. “What’s up?”, she said in the meantime.

“Well, I um—“, He started to carefully allow his eyes to fall back on her, still not completely sure if this was appropriate. He raised his hand, showing her the phone.

“Oh I forgot it again, didn’t I? I’m so clumsy! Thank you for bringing it”, Gwen immediately said while walking up to Blake with a thankful smile. Soon she reached her hand out for the phone, and as she did so, she felt their fingers softly touch. A shiver went through her body and she cursed to herself that he had such a small touch could completely freeze her. In a quick movement her widened eyes met Blake’s, her heart started pounding even faster. She wanted to look away, anywhere but him, bring some funny story up to change the mood, but she couldn’t think straight. So instead she wished for Blake to do so. That was his thing after all right, leaving funny comments?

But to her big hope, he didn’t. Instead he was staring at her with the same confused eyes as he had to swallow. For a couple of seconds both adults stayed frozen in time, just their eyes locked with one another before Blake found a way to look down as he chuckled softly. His head had started to turn red, as Gwen took the phone out of his hand now and instantly missed the small touch they just shared.

“So I’m kinda bumped that the blinds are over already, I had so much fun”, She said with a pout as she turned her back at him and walked back inside the bathroom. Blake soon hummed aloud.  He awkwardly stayed still where he was, afraid that taking a step in the wrong direction would give him any insight of the bathroom, even though the door only was lightly cracked open.

“Yeah, the blinds are the most interaction between the coaches out of all the rounds, it was amazing”, Blake said back now, daring to take one step towards the table on which her keys were laying. He moved his head slightly to look at the picture that was hanging on her keys. A recent one, he realised, considering Apollo wasn’t much different than how he had met him yesterday. It was a picture of Gwen with all three of her boys. A family picture. But it was obvious how Gavin was missing on it. Gwen did look very gorgeous on it, the first thing he had noticed.  A beaming smile on her face and sparkling eyes. Simple but gorgeous.

“You like that picture?”, Gwen suddenly was standing next to him again. He looked up at her to see her staring down at the picture again herself. Her head a bit tilted to get a proper look of the photo in the right direction. She was smiling at it with such a pure happiness, which formed a smile on Blake’s face as well.

“Yeah those boys look so much like you. You have a gorgeous family”, Blake said then causing Gwen to look back at him with a grateful smile.

“Did you just call me gorgeous?”, Gwen said teasingly, causing Blake to roll his eyes with a chuckle.

“What if I did?”, he flirted back, as a joke though, causing both of them to just laugh.

As she was showing off that big smile of her, he had the time to take her in. She was wearing casual clothes, just a black top with a baggy jeans. But her wet hair hanging straight beside her face from the shower threw him back to the first time he saw her. Drenched hairs from the snow as she was laying fainted in the Oklahoma woods. Also a completely bare face, which was a new thing for him.

"Right I know, I'm sorry, I took it all off before taking a shower", Gwen decided to say then as she caught him staring. She was already moving back up towards her makeup table, when he realised what was happening. He noticed how she picked up a mascara brush, which made him frown. Because he didn’t meant to stare in the first place, let along give her the wrong idea that she isn’t beautiful without all of that stuff.

“What are you talking about? You’re stunning!”, He cried out completely overwhelmed. Gwen let her hand fall back down on the table and let go of the mascara brush. She had to hold back tears by hearing those words, sounding so very sincere.

Gavin never had hidden the fact that he preferred her with make up on. Like in their marriage, he obviously had complemented her on rare times if she was make-up less, but it always had sounded so fake.

“Any chance you know how to fix a air conditioning?”, Gwen changed the subject, knowing that if she would go there, she probably end up in a pool of tears. She did throw him a loving glance, causing Blake to flash her his dimples. He walked closer towards her, taking his jeans jacket off and laying it on her couch.

“Lemme see”, Blake said as he went straight up to the device.

 

 

“Do you have any idea what you are doin’?”, Gwen let out a loud laugh as she was looking up at the cowboy who was looking at some cables and stuff from inside the air conditioning. He let out a chuckle.

“Of course I do”, he answered hesitant, causing Gwen to frown.

“Are you sure? Because I mean someone will come fix it soon enough”, Gwen tried to reassure him, trying to give him a way out. She wasn’t quite certain whether he could fix it and she didn’t want him to feel pressured after all. Also maybe he had to be somewhere, so she didn’t want to keep him up.

“I might actually fix this, missy, be patient”, he laughed flirtatious, causing Gwen to chuckle as well.

“Oh wow, you know I always had a thing for…”, she stopped when she realised what she was about to say. Blake as well looked over his shoulder for the first time in a minute, to look at her questionably.

“For what?”, he asked serious, even though deep inside he couldn’t help but feel his heart jump up and soon the corners of his mouth curled up, unnoticeable though.

_Electricians. So basically you right now._

“For the warmth”, she spit out, causing Blake to nod and turn his head back towards the device. He allowed himself to smirk now, as he was very well aware of what she actually thinking.

“I mean growing up in Orange County, I’m pretty used to the warmth and I love it. But today I feel so physically tired because of it, you know?”, she kept on rambling, trying to cover up what she really wanted to say. She could hear him laugh softly as he kept his eyes on the device.

“So you have a thing for the warmth?”, he said with a chuckle, basically just to let her know he wasn’t taking it. The next time he looked back at her with his dimples on full display, she squinted her eyes at him.

“I do, yes”, she said with a laugh now as well.

“I hate to break your little fantasy here though”, he said now, indicating one last time he was very well aware of how her brain had been working. “But the thing is broken and unfixable. They probably will have to come place a complete new one here”,

A pout formed on her lips then as he closed the air conditioner again.  As they both shared some more short stories about how their last couple of days had been a blast, a silence followed.

"I should go though", Blake said then out of the blue and she understood. But it's not because she understood that she also felt happy with it. God she wanted him to stay and just talk to him some more. Just laugh some more, enjoy his company some more.

"I guess I’ll see you in a month then”, She smiled at him once again and if she wouldn’t know better, she thought she saw a hint of misfortune in his eyes as well. As if a month sounded awfully long all of a sudden.

“Yeah, I guess so”, Blake said with a sad, forced smile on his face. Yet he turned around and took a step away from her. Just when his hand was on the door handle, she spoke again.

“Hey Blake?”,  He turned his head her way with a warm smile.

“mhmm?”

“Thank you for trying”, She said, nodding towards the air conditioner.

“At your service, Gwen, any time”, She threw him one more smile and saw him open the door now. Eventually she picked up the mascara brush again and stared at herself. And suddenly for a fraction of a second,  she thought about not putting on. She thought about how Blake had called her beautiful without it as well. That brought a smile on her face. But soon she shook her head and remember who she was going home to. Even with it, she wasn’t enough to keep him from searching elsewhere’s.  So she tilted her arm up and brought the brush up to her winkers. By doing so, she felt a sting through her back, causing her to wince.

"You hurting?", A southern accent suddenly said, causing Gwen jumped up. She almost stabbed herself in the eye with the brush, surprised he hadn’t left yet. That way she had fledged the mascara brush to right under her eye, leaving a whole black line of mascara under it. Her brisk movement had obviously given away she got a scare, making Blake laugh.

"Look what you did!", She cried out with laughter, turning her face towards Blake, showing him the spilled mascara. His beaming laughter made her heart race as he immediately started to close the gap between them now all of a sudden.

"I'm so sorry!", He smirked. Instantly her heart stopped beating all at once when she felt his soft hands cup both her cheeks with such an ease. It's only when he started to rub his thumb over the black mascara line, trying to erase it, that he realised what he was doing. His eyes soon traced off from the mascara towards her eyes. Fully widened as they were looking at him in surprise. In the meantime his thumb kept on stroking over that place. It was noticeable how he eventually also allowed his eyes to fall down on her lips for a small second before he started speaking.

"It's not coming off", Blake decided to say to get rid of the sudden tension. Gwen giggled now as well as Blake's hands immediately fell down next to his body again.

"You have to use make up remover for that", She said while reaching for a certain bottle and putting some of the lotion on top of a cotton bal before wiping it under her eye and removing the line.

“I thought you left”, Gwen said then, looking at him through the mirror.

“I did. But then I realised I forgot something”, he said, causing Gwen to smirk at him.

“You are as clumsy as me and you forgot your phone here didn’t you?”, she said with a grin, causing Blake let smile at her brightly. But instead of nodding and agreeing with her he just kept on flashing her his dimples.

“Actually”, he said with a nervous chuckle all of a sudden. “I forgot to give you a hug goodbye”,

Gwen her wide grin faded as it turned into a soft, warm smile and she felt her eyes lightly tear up. She had to swallow before she could speak.

“Then what are you waiting for?”,

Blake leaned in then and threw his arms around her. Instantly her hands were around his body as well as she inhaled his scent. He let out a small sight, knowing it would be a long month. After only a second, he knew he should let go of her or it wouldn’t be appropriate. But yet he couldn’t. His arms seemed to be clued around her, and she seemed to not want to let go either.

Instead he felt her tiny hand tighten around him as she even nestled her head in his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. As his arms tightened on her back for the last seconds, he felt her body slightly tense up.  He tilted his head to look at her face. She was wincing again. He immediately looked over her head towards her bare shoulders. The blank top revealed a part of her shoulder blade and his eyes immediately fell down on a very dark bruise. He had to swallow. Oh so carefully he brought his hand up and softly traced one of his fingers softly over the exposed, dark bruise. Her eyes closed tightly as she felt his fingers stroke over body, knowing what he was pointing at. The gentleness of his hand could make her eyes fill with tears.

"Don't tell me this is from falling or whatever", Blake whispered her way, scared to ask her what happened, especially considering he always had a feeling. But when he had asked her deep personal questions in the past, all she had done was tell him lies. He couldn't go through this again, he couldn't start caring so badly again if she wasn't willing to let him in. He let go of her body, to get a proper look at her face.

"I don't want to drag you into my messy life, Blake...", She hissed as she tried her hardest not to burst into tears.

"You're not dragging me in, if I walk in voluntarily", He answered as he took a seat on her couch, making clear that he wasn’t going anywhere as long as she didn’t inform him. She had to take a breath in. Feeling ashamed to what she was about to say. She stood up from her makeup table now as well and took a seat next to him. She avoided his eyes, she felt so small in this moment, she could barely believe herself. But eventually she forced herself to get it out and there it was.

"He gets aggressive when he drinks", Gwen knew she didn't have to mention her husband’s name for Blake to know it was about him.

"That's a lie. He-- he doesn't have to be drunk actually", Her eyes dropped down to the ground feeling embarrassed to admit such a thing. She felt defenceless and weak and she hated to show him this part of her. But then she felt his hand on her chin, tilting her head to look his way.

"You can't stay with him", he whispered worried while reaching his hand out to softly stroke over her arm.

"It's not that easy, Blake", The big sight that left her mouth now, concerned him even more. A silence followed as Blake waited for more information, but she stayed quiet instead. 

"It is", he said confused and desperate then, making her head shake quickly.

"Leaving is no option”, She sounded determined, causing Blake to try and catch her gaze. When she seemed to avoid his eyes, his hand traced up to her face and tilted her chin his way once again. It’s then that he noticed how teary her eyes had gotten and he could feel his heart start to race out of anger for the man who brought those tears to her eyes.

"Are you scared of him?”, Blake asked causing Gwen to swallow immediately. She didn’t want to see the worry in his eyes, not because of her. He should be happy and careless. Their eyes were locked on each other for a while before she closed them. A single tear fell down on her cheek, Blake’s finger caught the tear immediately and wiped it away.

“Gwen”, he gently whispered in a sad sight. “Hey, open your eyes”,

His voice calmed her and made her feel more at ease. The shame and embarrassment had started to fade, but yet she couldn’t make herself open her eyes. Afraid that seeing those blue eyes of his again, she would regain those feelings of absolute embarrassment and that with one more lock with his eyes would tell him exactly what she is. Weak.

“Look at me, Gwen, don’t hide”, She leaned her head into his hand that was still cupping her cheek, but she couldn’t do it.

“Grace”, he whispered unexpectedly, just when his hand came on top of her clothed knee, his thumb gently brushing over her skin. Out of reflex of hearing that name, her eyes snapped open. Her blurry gaze noticed how his bright blue eyes were carefully looking at her with so much patience and care.

“Are you scared of him?”, he repeated in a soft whispered, needing her to speak up. She cleared her throat then before she hesitantly nodded.

“I am”, her words were silent, but they were there. And as she said them, she immediately wondered where everything went wrong. Which day had been the last one that she hadn’t woken up without fearing her husband to go crazy.

She couldn’t remember…

“But not for me”, she added soon, when she noticed him keep on intently staring at her. “I am not scared for me, Blake”, she clarified, causing Blake to try and hide his small frown.

“I am scared for my boys”,

“Has he touched them?”, Blake’s voice stayed quiet, but Gwen did hear the difference from just a second ago. There was a small fling of pain and fury.

“Not like this”, she said while throwing her arm in the air and pointing at her own back. She flinched while doing so, feeling the bruises on her body ache because of the sudden movement.“Not yet. But I’m not sure that I would be able to stop him if he gets angry again”,

Blake’s thumb kept on stroking softly over her knee, which was strangely comforting.

Blake had to swallow as he suddenly moved his hand away from Gwen her knee and moved his body her way.

“Can you turn around for me?”, he asked then, causing Gwen to silently shake her head.

“No Blake, please, it’s not worth it ok?”, He hushed her then.

“Trust me”,

His words vibrated through her brain for a couple of seconds before she hesitantly moved her body away from him. Her back turned his way. She had to take a few breathes in and out before moving her top completely over her head. A part of her hair fell back down on her bare back.

She was glad she couldn’t see his immediate reaction to it, as she glared at the wall of her trailer. The feeling of his soft fingers sliding over her bare back gave her goose bumps. He caressed her hair away from her back and placed it over one of her shoulder. His thumb stroke up and down on her shoulder blade.

“Does this hurt?”, He was worried he was causing her pain, but she luckily immediately shook her head.

“Not really”,

He moved closer to her body and placed his hands on top of her arms. Quietly stroking her arms. He bowed down and placed a kiss on top of one of her shoulder. From this angle he could see her face. Her eyes closed again, as another tear was running down her cheek.

“You should allow yourself to be scared for yourself as well, Gwen”, he whispered on her neck. “You don’t deserve this at all”, He felt her body slightly shake by his words as her hand flew up to cover her mouth. A sudden sob filled the room and he could feel his heart break.

“We’ll figure this out, I promise”,

“I will”, she said then, in between her sniffing. “I’ll figure it out. This is not your fight”, She wiped away her tears, trying to stay as strong as possible.

“It is now”, he immediately said, as his hands went up to her neck. He started a slow pattern as he massaged her skin softly.

“Just relax now, will you?”, He asked, as he kept on softly moving his hands over her shoulder, avoiding the painful places. Blake didn’t have to be a professional masseur to feel how tensed her entire body was. She seemed completely stressed out.

“Relax your shoulders”, Blake whispered in her ear. She immediately shrugged her shoulder a few times. Soon Blake was back to massaging and Gwen seemed to be a bit more relaxed already. A big sight left her lips.

“Now clear your mind”, his southern accent even brought a small smile on her face as she tried to do what he asked. She tried to blank her mind and just enjoy how his strong hands were discretely stroking on her bare skin. And damn it felt good. Her mind immediately started to imagine how his hands would feel on the rest of her body. But she couldn’t allow herself to go that way.

“Was he in the man who attacked you in the woods from Oklahoma?”, Blake asked suddenly, making Gwen her eyes snap open. The question always had been hanging in the air, but he hadn’t dared to ask it earlier. He hadn’t wanted to upset her even more. Her body tensed up again by the question but eventually she nodded.

“I’m sorry I didn’t just tell you the truth months ago”, Gwen whispered now, turning her body his way. Her eyes meeting his again after a long time.

“Why didn’t you?”, he didn’t blame her. He just asked out of curiosity.

“Because it’s not safe, Blake”, She threw her eyes down.

“What do you mean?”,

 “Hey, hey”, He titled her chin up, giving her a comforting smile. “I would’ve protected you, you know that right? I’m here for you”, Blake said worried.

“That was the problem, Blake”, She answered in all honesty now, looking him in the eye as she said it. She brought her hand up to his cheek and softly moved her thumb over his skin. He looked so confused and lost. “I realised that you wouldn’t let it go. So I had to leave”,

“I could’ve helped you? I could have prevented this”, Blake said, talking about the bruised on her back.

“No you couldn’t ‘ve”, she chuckled a bit sarcastically. “You’re strong and big, but he’s clever, he would have found a way to ruin your life or just to hurt you—“, she hesitated to go on. “I started to like you, for real, and I didn’t want you to get hurt. That’s why I left Blake. I knew you’d hate me, but that be better than for you to get mixed up in any of this”, She said as she let her hand fall down from on his cheek now.

“Never do that again”, was all he answered.

“What?”, she frowned.

“Never make that decision for me again. You don’t have to protect me—“,

“You don’t have to protect me, either”,  Gwen interrupted him, raising her eyebrows. Clearly trying to make a point.

“I know, but you left and I—“, A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts.

“Hey Gwen! Can I come in?”, Adam’s voice. Both Blake and Gwen rolled their eyes.

“Gimme a second, I’ll be there in a sec”, Gwen shouted back while searching for her top and putting it over her head. She then quickly walked up towards the door, before stopping in front of the mirror. She brushed her fingers through her hair a few times before putting her nose up at herself. Blake rolled his eyes.

“God, Gwen, you look perfect, just open the door”, He whispered,  causing Gwen to smile back at him before turning to open the door.

“Hey Adam, come in”,

Adam strolled in to the trailer and didn’t notice Blake right away. But when his eyes did fell on Blake, he frowned and gave Blake a suspicious look.

“Oh jackass is here as well”, Adam said, trying to sound neutral but the way he was staring at Blake was obviously with the intention to give a message. He clearly tried to let his best friend know that he knows something had been going on here. He just was having the wrong idea.  

“What you doin’ here Blake?”, Adam added then, clearly disapproving considering he was suspecting Blake was busy cheating on Anna, with the girl who broke his heart. Or at least he was thinking about it.

“Same thing you are doing here, I guess”, Blake answered him kinda bitterly, trying to cover it up with a sarcastic laugh.

“Yeah I actually just wanted to come say goodbye before heading out”, Adam said, which was a normal thing to do, considering they weren’t seeing each other for  a month either.  But Adam seemed to have caught on how nervous Gwen was being and how she had been hesitant to open the door. And if that hadn’t been worse enough, Gwen also was wearing her top backwards, which wasn’t super obvious considering both sides were simply black, but Blake was sure Adam had noticed it as well.

“I’m gonna miss you guys”, Gwen said directed to Adam, but the way she held Blake’s gaze a tiny second longer had been obvious. Not only for Blake, sadly enough. Adam soon was rolling his eyes, not hiding his annoyance. It wasn’t typical Adam, he mostly was very polite about stuff like this, but he just couldn’t believe Blake right now. Not after what Adam had heard about the both of them, which sadly wasn’t the whole story. All he knew is that Gwen left and broke his heart. So Blake moved on with a beautiful girl named Anna. And Adam couldn’t believe he’d throw that away.

“So how are you and Anna?”, Adam asked, causing Blake to snap his head at him angry.

“You know that we are just fine, Adam”, Blake snapped at him. He knew that Adam was only looking out for him, but he really didn’t need it right now.

Blake knew he had a girlfriend who has given her heart to him. He knew he should cherish what he has. But then there’s Gwen. The woman who makes him feel things he had never felt before.

“So Blake, am I giving you a ride home or are you gonna call Anna?”, Adam asked, again on purpose bringing the girl up. Blake threw his head back to Gwen. He didn’t want to leave, not in the middle of their conversation.  But he also needed to explain this to Adam, he didn’t want to give his best friend the wrong impression. He wasn’t a cheater. Sure he had thought about it, but he wouldn’t. He knew what it felt like to be cheated on, he wouldn’t ever do that to someone. Not even because of someone so perfect like Gwen.

“You should go with him, I should pick up Apollo anyways”,

“You sure?”, Gwen nodded.

“We’ll talk further about this through e-mail ok?”, She said then, causing Blake to eventually give in.

“That does require you answering my e-mails this time”, That caused Gwen to softly smile at him.

“I will. I promise”, She said, knowing he needed reassuring that she wasn’t going to ignore him again for an entire month, just like she had done after New Years Eve.

“I see you in a month, Gwen”, Adam placed a soft kiss on her cheek then.

“Yeah, see you then”, she said with a smile before he gave Blake one more glance.

“I’ll be out in a sec”, Blake said then to Adam, who nodded and stepped outside a bit hesitant, but eventually he did disappear.

Blake sighted while glancing at Gwen.

“Don’t mind him. He’s –“,

“Protective, I get it”, Gwen answered with a somber smile. “You have a girlfriend”, she said while swallowing. A fake smile on her face. “You should go see her now”,

Blake nodded while throwing her a sad smile, knowing she was right.

“In another life, I would make you stay”, Gwen said then all of a sudden. The words surprised Blake as he looked at her with pain in his heart. How could he leave her now?

“It’s a quote from Katy Perry actually”, she chuckled nervously, but he could hear the sorrow behind it. He actually knew the song and had recognized the words. But he knew they would sting anyway. He would never be able to listen to that song the same ever again.

So he closed the distance between them, placed his hand on the back of her head and leaned in to brush his lips for a couple of seconds on her forehead.

“I wish you hadn’t been _the one that got way_ either. Not from me at least”, he whispered on her forehead. Letting her know that even though he was a country boy, he did know certain pop songs. 

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’ll e-mail you about all this. We’ll figure this out”, he whispered then. Her eyes were closed as she then suddenly felt his hand disappear from on the back of her head. 

 _We'll figure it out._ She wasn't sure what he was talking about. If it was about Gavin or if it was about the two of them. Maybe it was both, who knows. 

And when she opened her eyes a couple of seconds later, he was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "The One That Got Away - Katy Perry"


	10. ten

Blake had been having the weirdest dreams lately. He started waking up all confused and sometimes even frightened. He never had been the guy to have a big imagination throughout his dreams, but something seemed to have changed. They weren’t happy dreams per se. Well actually they started off that way but somehow  the weirdest things happened and screwed everything up. But he didn’t miss how some blonde woman was in most of them. He was very well aware his mind was way too occupied with Gwen and her whole situation.

And just like all the mornings that had passed over the last two weeks, he blinked his eyes open and felt relieved that whatever he dreamed about hadn’t been real. But then again, he looked next to him and saw an asleep Anna laying on top of his chest. Her arm loosely wrapped around him as she seemed still in a deep sleep. And again like all the mornings that he had woken up next to her lately, he felt guilty. Guilty for dreaming about another girl while Anna’s arms were wrapped around him.  And how amazing she is every damn second of every day wasn’t helping either.

She’s flawless, gorgeous and so very patient and caring. She has not one single problem he has to take care of. Not at all. He could be happy with her, maybe even start a family and have the perfect life that he always wanted. But why doesn’t he feel that way then? Way isn’t his heart exploding with happiness? He brought his hand up to softly stroke his fingers through her brown hairs. Even though she was very much asleep, a soft smile came on her features then. That made Blake smile along for a second.

But soon he felt impatient again. He slowly picked her arm up from on his chest and crawled from under her. A pout formed on her face as she grunted slightly before nestling on the mattress again, without him. He stood up and sneaked out of the bedroom.

He immediately took his laptop and sat down at the table. As he had been doing every single morning, he refreshed his inbox, hoping for an e-mail to pop up. Just an e-mail from his producer who badly wants him to start working on his next album. There were even some songs as an attachment to the e-mail.  He sighted, really not feeling like starting another album already.

He refreshed the page once more. But nothing.

 

 

 

Gwen woke up by a tiny body curled up around her. She fuzzed a little before starting to open her eyes. After blinking a few times, trying to adjust to the sunlight slipping through her curtains, she saw curly brown hairs. A soft smile conquered up on her face as she brought her hand up to slowly stroke over her baby’s forehead. The little man immediately snapped his head upwards, trying to get a glance of his mom, but his long curls were hanging in front of his eyes. Gwen giggled silently before wiping his hair backwards.

“Mommy!”, Apollo cried out in a happy squeal as he finally found his mom’s eyes. She immediately brought her finger up to her lips and made a hushing sound.

“Be quite, we don’t want your dad to be cranky, do we?”, Gwen asked her baby while smiling at him brightly. He adorably shook his head while throwing his chubby arms around Gwen her neck. She immediately started to move out of the bed as she pulled him in her arms. On her tiptoes, she sneaked out of the room and softly closed the door behind her, not wanting to wake Gavin.

Not because she minded if his sleep would get interrupted, the opposite. But the longer he’s asleep, the longer he isn’t around her.

“Hi baby”, She said then to Apollo while kissing him on the cheek. She started to walk down the stairs while out of the corner of her eyes she could see Apollo stare at her. His big brown eyes lit up when Gwen looked back at him and a giggly smile formed on his face the exact same second. She smiled back at him before concentrating on descending the stairs. In the meantime he placed a sloppy kiss on Gwen’s cheek.

He’s such a happy boy. And if she went through with all this, she might destroy all of that. Turn his smile and sparkling eyes into a confused state.  She shook her head, trying to shake it off. Gwen made her youngest some breakfast as she sat down beside him. She gazed at how he was mostly playing with his food as he seemed to have a lot of fun doing so. Normally she would tell him that he should eat the food, that it’s not a toy. But she couldn’t now. Instead she kept frozen while watching her boy giggle happily.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t take this away from him.

Suddenly her phone vibrated and she snapped her head to it. She desperately grabbed for it and read the new notification. _Blake_

She was surprised he was up this early, but soon she swiped her finger over the screen and opened the e-mail immediately.

“Hi, just wanted to check up on you. Get back to me if you can. Blake”

It’s a safe e-mail, she realised that. His others had always been more personal and more supportive. But this one seemed kind of formal somehow. At first it made her frown, but then she realised what he had been doing.

The last e-mail she had send him was over three days ago. All the days before they had e-mail back and forth. But she hadn’t answered him lately. She needed time to think. Time to reconsider, she realised now. Because did she realise what fight she had started? Was she ready for this battle? She sighted while glancing back over at her boy. _She_ was ready to fight. But it wasn’t just hers. It was theirs as well. And if she goes through with this, they will suffer from it as well. And she wasn’t sure if she was ready for that to happen. She wasn’t even sure if she ever will be.

But considering she hadn’t answered in days, he probably started to wonder what had changed. Scared that Gavin might have gotten suspicious or even worse. Blake was playing it safe, in case he might be reading along. This kind of care brought a smile to her face. But soon it faded of again, not knowing what to do.

She promised him to answer his e-mails this time. She won’t break his trust a third time, so she pushed the answer button. After staring at the blank e-mail, she closed her eyes for a second. Ordering her thoughts. Her boys are her number one priority, always. But she feels like she can’t breathe when Gavin is around her. She feels like a flower in the bright sun. Drying up more and more with every passing minute, knowing very well that one time she’ll have no life left inside of her.

She’s dying.

Her eyes shot open and met Apollo’s again, who was now eating his food instead of playing with it. She smiled. Metaphorical, she thought. As she had just ordered her mind, her boy seemed to have done the same as he stopped messing around and started to focus on what’s in front of him. He neatly brought the spoon up to his mouth and took a bite.

Gwen started typing.

“Hey you, I’m sorry for not answering earlier. R u busy today? Otherwise meet me in the park near Universals. Don’t feel pressured, if you can’t make it, it’s fine!! Gx”,

Before giving herself time to overthink, she pressed send and walked up at her boy.

“Look at you!”, she cried out happily as he had finished his entire plate. “You’re such a good boy!”, She complemented him proudly, causing Apollo to show her his beautiful smile. After putting his plate away, she wiped off the rests of food from his mouth. Just when she had picked her boy out of his chair and was hugging him close to her, her phone vibrated again.

She read the e-mail and smiled at Blake’s answer.

“Do you wanna go to the park, sweety?”, She said to Apollo who was already clapping his hands and shouted out excited. She quickly throw on some clothes and got Apollo ready as well and left a small note.

“ I’m with Apollo in the park”

 

 

 

 

He was sitting at a bench in the park. When there hadn’t been any sight of Gwen yet, he suddenly began to get nervous for some weird reason. He couldn’t really place it. So instead of driving himself crazy by keep on staring in front of him, he picked out his phone and started to read some of the songs that his producer had send to him.

Nothing really seemed to speak to him until he started to read the chorus of a song called ‘It Ain’t Easy’ ,

_Yeah I used to be alright just saying goodnight maybe see you tomorrow_

_Yeah I could go a couple of days just doing my thing whatever I wanted_

_But now, your kisses hit me like lightning, can't fight it, girl, you put it on me_

_Yeah you stone me, when you ain't with me I ain't nothing but lonely_

He frowned at the words, because he could relate to it at some level. He didn’t even had the time to give it a second thought when suddenly he heard a familiar, childish giggle. His head immediately snapped up to find a curly haired boy running his way. The kid was running behind a ball and didn’t seem to recognize him at all. When he glanced behind the kid, he saw the beautiful blonde walking up to him. When their eyes met for the first time, her face seemed to light up. A sudden sparkle came to her eyes as she fastened up her space.

“Hey bubba!”, Gwen shouted to her toddler who had kept on running, quite past Blake already. As the good behaved kid he is, he stopped immediately and looked over at his mom. He blinked at her a couple of times with a smile on his face.

“Don’t you have to say hi?”, Gwen asked him then, nodding towards Blake on the bench. Soon Apollo’s eyes went away from his mom and took in the man sitting on the bench he just ran by. He clumsily had token his ball up in his tiny arms before wavering a few steps closer to them with a curious face. Blake let out a chuckle while clapping his hands when he saw the curious kid look at him with those eyes just like hers. Gwen laughed as well, as Apollo didn’t seem to recognize him. Even though they had seemed to kick it off at the voice set that day, he had only seen Blake once after all.

“Hi buddy”, Blake said then with a grin. “Do you remember me?”,

“Cowboy”, Apollo cried out then when he was close enough and threw his ball up in excitement. Gwen let out a loud laugh, before walking nearby Blake. She placed her hand on his shoulder then as she kept her eyes on her baby boy.

“You can play around here, but don’t leave my sight”, She warned her youngest, who was nodding in agreement, before he ran off to the nearby sand pit, immediately losing interest for the ball he had brought. Gwen giggled as she saw him lose balance for a second, but he got up immediately, too excited to get to the sand pit to even care for the tiny fall. After that she looked back at Blake and smiled in herself as he kept his eyes on Apollo for a small second longer.

Soon he looked up at her as well and her smile even grew wider now. Her hand still laying on top of his shoulder. “Hi”, she said then suddenly shy as she realised she had missed the shade of blue his eyes were.

“Hey”, he said as well. “It’s so good to see you”, he added, before she leaned in and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Yeah it is”, she smiled by seeing his dimples right after she had brushed her lips to his skin. She sat down next to him then and a silence fell over them all of a sudden. Both adults simply staring at Apollo playing a little further away.  

“You stopped e-mailing”, Blake said after a while in a concerned voice. She thought for a few seconds before answering.

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I needed some time to think”, both of them had kept their eyes on Apollo till then.

“I got scared”, Gwen looked back at him once she reminded herself that it was Blake she was talking to. She didn’t have to lie, she didn’t have to be nervous.

“That’s understandable”, He answered almost immediately, giving her no time to worry about him being mad or confused about it. He had only given her a short glance before leaving her gaze again. He wanted her to feel comfortable, not as if he was pushing her to speak up. Instead a nice and slow atmosphere. And it worked.

“I don’t want my kids to grow up in a broken family”, she spilled out, allowing a huge sight to leave her lips.

“It’s worse for them to grow up in a wounded family”, Blake said carefully. His words made her throw her eyes down again. And suddenly it hit Blake that she was doubting all of this again. She can’t stop now.

So to catch her attention he moved his arm and his hand started to make his way towards hers, as it was placed on the seat of the bench beside her. When his fingers touched hers, her entire body glow up again.

“You’re not in this alone”, He whispered as he stared at her. He couldn’t help but move his little finger slightly over hers.  

“You’re a great mom. But you’re wrong if you think staying would be better for them”, Her eyes met his again, after looking at their hands, and gave him a confused glance.

“You might think you can hide all this pretty well from them, but deep down they know and they experience it all with you. If you get out of there, then the boys will feel free again as well”, Blake told her as she listened to him attentively. She looked at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes. He believed every word he was saying and somehow she felt some hope slip through her veins as well.

“What if one day they hate me for taking them away from their dad?”, Her voice was shaking as she focused on their hands once again. She moved her hand up slightly and placed it over his to intertwine her fingers with his.

“They won’t”, he reassured her almost immediately, because it’s impossible to hate someone like Gwen.

“You know what?”, He asked her, making her shake her head.

“You don’t want your boys to grow up like him, right?”, her eyes widened with those words as she looked at him scared. She noticed how he moved his eyes to look at Apollo. Gwen did the same as she saw the two year old play so innocently.

 “If you don’t show them that what Gavin did to you is wrong and that he hurt you, they might grow up with the image of Gavin as their role model”, Blake spoke softly, trying to get through to her. Eventually she closed her eyes and she felt a single tear run down her cheek. She knew he was right. They wouldn’t know any better.

“A few more weeks, that’s all it takes to get you out of there. We have a plan right? Only a few more weeks and this all is over. And I promise you I won’t let anything happen to you or your boys”, he reassured her while squeezing her hand softly. She nodded, remembering how everything they arranged through e-mail could actually work. A few more weeks.

“This morning I was so close to just give up, you know?”, Gwen spoke up as she softly opened her eyes again. Staring in front of her.  “But deep down I know I shouldn’t. So I e-mailed you. I needed you”, She said in a honesty, taking the courage to look at him. “I needed to hear you say those words, because only you can make me believe they can come true”,

He didn’t say anything as he just looked at her beautiful self.  To her big surprise he suddenly let go of her hand and she gave him a confused look. But after a couple of seconds he was moving closer to her. He threw his arm over the bench and Gwen allowed her head to rest on his shoulder for a second.

“Everything – will –be – alright”, he whispered word by word and meant it as he threw his arm around her now and pulled her to his chest more tightly.

“Thank you”, she nuzzled her nose in his neck and left a soft kiss right there. After that she laid her head back down and stayed quite. Both of them just looking at how Apollo was very concentrated on digging a hole.

 

 

“How about we go grab some diner?”, Blake suggested while tilting his head and catching a glance of Gwen her face.

“I’m not really hungry, actually”, Gwen answered distracted while she kept on staring in front of her. He tightened his grip around her then but yet he kept looking at her.

“You have to eat something. With that body of yours, you can’t afford to skip dinner”, he said while moving up. He reached his hand out towards her. With a small smile she rolled her eyes before placing her tiny hand in his and stood up.

Gwen walked up to her baby boy and he heard her cry out in her mommy voice. Apollo his eyes sparkled when he saw his mom getting closer to him. Blake on the other hand watched her every move. The way she walked so elegantly and how her hair waved over her back. Soon she crouched down next to Apollo as he had immediately reached his arms out for her.

With such an ease she took him in her arms and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. When she reached Blake again she threw him a lovely smile.

“Cowboy!”, Apollo shouted again when he saw Blake again. He grinned excitedly at the man while throwing his arms and legs up in the air a few times out of excitement. Gwen grunted by the hyper state of her little guy while reaching with of her hands to her tight.

“Should I carry him for you?”, Blake had caught up on how she was in pain instantly as he didn’t want to imagine what colour her tight must have and what he did this time. Gwen threw him a grateful smile.

“Are you sure?”, She asked, making him frown while letting out a soft chuckle.

“Of course, come here”, Blake said while reaching his arms out to the toddler who was grinning full time. To Gwen her big surprise, her youngest let go of her ear quite quickly and threw his arms over Blake’s neck.

“Are you hungry, ‘Pollo?”, Blake asked with his high voice, causing Gwen to beam up at him as he took the lead, starting his way out of the park.

“Apollo Hungry!”, The toddler shouted back, causing Blake to let out his huffing laughter. He looked over his shoulder back at Gwen, just to see if she was smiling along. He had found himself doing that quite often lately. When he saw the big smirk on her face as a proud mom, he felt even better.

Suddenly he pulled his arm around Gwen her waist  to pull her closer to him. She looked up confused by the sudden touch, but soon she realised there was a bicyclist right behind her and he had made sure the girl could pass. The girl on the bike throw him a grateful smile as she drove further. Soon the girl had thrown her head back again, to get another glance of the man she just smiled at. Her eyes wider this time, realising who he was, before she did eventually decide to drive further. That made both Gwen and Blake laugh, as Apollo joined in without knowing what it was about. Gwen did pull the hood of her sweatshirt over her head, realising the city had started to wake up by now.

Blake’s hand had softly stayed on Gwen her back for a few more seconds, before he let his hand fall down beside his own body again. They walked further then for a few more minutes before Blake opened the door of a rather private dinner for Gwen.

They had token a seat and were both staring inside the menu. Gwen was sharing hers with Apollo, as she was telling him what kind of food they had. Apollo got super excited by hearing spaghetti, making it clear that was what he wanted.

Blake was secretly glancing over the menu to catch a glance of her. She was not truly paying attention as she was more focused on what she was going to order. Blake grinned as he noticed how she studied the menu carefully. He stared at her for a few seconds, keeping quite as he forgot he should probably be choosing what he was having as well. Suddenly Gwen her eyes travelled upwards and met his. She giggled softly when she noticed how he had been staring already. He held her gaze for a while, flashing her his dimples before looking down slightly embarrassed.

 “Have you decided yet?”, the young waitress asked when her face totally lit up when her eyes met Gwen’s, clearly recognizing her. Gwen smiled back at the girl while nodding.

“A spaghetti for this little one”, she said while ruffling through Apollo’s curls. “And a vegetarian salad please”, she said.

Blake almost winced at her food choice, not saying anything about it though as he played it smart and ordered for himself a huge amount of fries and a burger.

As soon as the waitress left, Apollo was telling a fantasy story to Blake about dinosaurs and stuff. But when that story had ended, Gwen her phone vibrated. Gavin asking if she was still in the park. She turned her phone around and shove it further towards Blake to let him read the text.

“Maybe I should tell him he-“, she nodded towards Apollo, “got cranky and wanted something to eat?”, She asked insecurely, making Blake nod.

“Does that mean you have to go soon though?”, He asked while avoiding her gaze. He didn’t want her to go just yet. Yet she nodded hesitantly.

“I’m afraid so”, she sighted as she was typing her answer back at Gavin.

When the diner arrived, Blake and Gwen were casually catching up, avoiding to talk about Gavin for once. They had done that enough through e-mail lately. Also Anna wasn’t being brought up. Instead they just enjoyed each other’s company and shared some laughs, especially with Apollo trying to eat his spaghetti properly, but failing.

Somewhere in middle of the diner, Gwen fed Blake some of her salad, considering he was teasing her about how he could never enjoy a meal that was meatless. So Gwen tried to convince him about how good it was. Blake leaned in and took the bite.

Gwen was impatiently glancing his way, waiting for his reaction to eventually see him nodding.

“Better than expected”, he said eventually, avoiding to talk with a full mouth. Gwen smiled brightly while making a happy ‘yes’ sound, leaving Blake to chuckle at her enthusiasm.

“It’s only fair if you eat a fry from me now as well”, he said while shoving his plate to the middle in the table.

“I do actually know how they taste already”, Gwen chuckled, making Blake roll his eyes at her with a smile. Yet she kept focused on her salad. He wondered how long it would’ve been since she had fries. She has a perfect body, and he knows that must be quite some work to keep it like that. And that’s ok if she does that for herself and only herself. But Blake was rather sure someone else had something to do with it.

“Oh come on!  I ordered way too much, I won’t be able to eat all of this by myself”, Blake said, chuckling with himself, causing Gwen to smile at him.

“Fine”, she said eventually then while reaching her arm out and picking one single fry and delicately placing in her mouth. She kept her eyes on Blake’s who was grinning at her.

“You happy now?”,

“I’m happy”, Blake answered while he kept his plate of fries in the middle of the table. They picked up their light conversation after that. Gwen stealing a few more fries which made Blake feel great.

“I wish I could hang out with you all day”, Blake said then out of the blue. He barely realised he had said it out loud until he noticed Gwen throwing her eyes down.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to make this weird… I’m just having a great time”, he added when he realised how she had tensed up slightly. Gwen shook her head and caught his eyes again.

“Don’t apologize”, she said. “There’s nothing I want more as well”, Gwen answered shyly, feeling kind of weird to admit such a thing. It’s not because they’ve been avoiding to talk about her husband or his girlfriend that they are no longer here.

“I wish I could take you out today”, Blake said, making Gwen snap her eyes his way confused.

“Take me out?”, Gwen asked while frowning.

“Yeah. You deserve some fun, you know?”, Blake answered while glancing over at Apollo eating his last bite.

“What if I would drop him off back ho-“, she stopped herself, avoiding the word ‘home’. “At Gavin? And I tell him I’ll spend the day trying to write some songs? Maybe we could just hang a while?”,

An instant smile grew on Blake’s face. “I’d like that. You think he’ll believe you?”, Blake asked then, more serious, not wanting him to get angry again at her and hurt her. But luckily she nodded immediately.

“He knows the people from the record label basically are forcing me to bring out another album soon, so well”, Gwen was wiping off the redness from the spaghetti sauce from around Apollo’s mouth, while Blake left some money on the table. After that he stood up and walked over to the toddler, picking him up in his arms again.

“Hey Blake, you don’t have to pay for us, you know?”, Blake immediately hushed her while giving her a small wink.

“Did you really think I would let you pay?”, Blake said then while shaking his head in disbelief. He made his way over to the door already, not even giving Gwen a chance to talk about it some more.

 

When they arrived at Gwen’s car and got Apollo buckled up, Gwen was searching for something in her purse. Eventually she took out one of her keys and held it up to Blake.

Blake frowned while pulling his hand out towards the key she was handing him.

“Why don’t you meet me back at my record studio? I’ll have to get your opinion on a song anyways”, she says while leaning in and pecking her lips softly on his scruff.

“I’ll be there in half an hour or something”, she said next.

“And this is the key to that place, right?”, Blake asked still confused, making Gwen laugh while nodding her head.

“Yes. You can go in already, I won’t make you wait in your car”, she said, sharing a laugh.

“I trust you”, she said nonchalantly while petting her hand on his chest a few times while walking past him to get in her car. “I’ll text you the address”, she said while he flashed her his dimples once more before leaving towards his own car.

 

 

 

“Here you go”, Blake said while handing Gwen a glass of sangria. Gwen smiled gratefully up at him. He had stopped by a nearby store to get them some sangria and fruit before heading towards the record label. He sat down next to her then while she opened her notebook and shoved it his way.

He looked at her.

“May I?”, he asked once more, just to be completely sure, making Gwen giggle and nod her head.

He traced his eyes down to the notebook and read: ‘Used To Love You’, he took a minute to take the lyrics in carefully and read it a second time, to be sure he hadn’t missed a single word or meaning.

“Wow, Gwen”, he whispered after more than a minute, as he kept his eyes locked on the paper. “This is a masterpiece already and I haven’t even heard your voice to it yet”, Blake said while glancing over at her now. She was looking at the lyrics herself, avoiding his eyes for a small second.

“I haven’t truly recorded it yet”, she admitted while biting her lip adorably.

“Why not?”, he turned his body towards her.

“I don’t know. Scared maybe?”, she answered clearly conflicted by it herself. He heard the fear in her voice. She felt so insecure about herself lately, she didn’t know how to share something so personal with a couple of strangers. Scared that they would break it down or they would judge her for whatever has been going on in her life lately. Blake saw right through that. He wanted her to feel the magic she created by just writing down those words. He realised all of a sudden how he could make her see it as well.

“Let’s do it. No more doubting. You got this”, He said while standing up. She stayed put though as she followed his movements. She saw how he opened the door to the studio and walked over towards a mic and placed it in the middle of the room, accompanied with a bar stool. He adjusted the microphone to be on the right height, making Gwen giggle as he was a bit clumsy at first.

Gwen soon pressed the intercom button to talk to Blake in the booth.

“What you doin?”, She asked with a fast beating heart, causing Blake to look up at the window and throwing her a comforting smile.

“What does it look like I’m doing? We’re gonna record this song, Gwen”, he said while making his way back towards her. He took her hand in his and dragged her along with him into the booth. She pouted while he sat her down on the stool in front of the mic. Blake was just at the point of letting go of her hand and walking back into the studio, when she pulled him towards her.

“I’m nervous”, she said while swallowing.

“Don’t be. It’s just me”, He said while bringing her hand up towards his lips and kissing the back of it softly. “It will be fun”, he said then while raising his brows flirtatious before letting go of her handvand walking up towards the door again.

 

 

After having heard Gwen singing the song a million times, it still ached his heart. The emotion she has put into it was unbelievable. And her voice, it’s so unique.

Gwen and Blake had been editing it together for hours, harmonizing the song, choosing some instruments and melodies. The end result wasn’t super professional, they both barely had a clue what they had been doing. But between the laughs and even some tears, they managed to get some stuff done after all. They listened to it together one last time, making Blake lean into her, his ell bows resting on his knees, as they were sitting right in front of each other.

“Obviously this won’t be the demo that will be on your next record”, he chuckled, causing Gwen to laugh along, as it was obviously made by two unprofessionals. “But listen to it, Gwen. With professional editing, this will be one hell of song. Use your gift again and turn this into something great”, he said then, causing Gwen to grin now. She could hear it now as well. She saw her talent again and realised she had the power to make something good out of it.

“You’re right”, she said then with a soft, content smile on her face.

“Of course I am!”, he cried out, while leaning backwards in his chair now.

“I think this calls for another sangria!”, Gwen shouted happily. Blake chuckled while secretly glancing at his watch. 8PM.

“Or if you have to be somewhere now, I totally get it!”, She rambled quickly, realising he probably had someone waiting at home from him.

“No! no!”, Blake protested immediately. Gwen felt relieved because she really didn’t want him to go just yet. “We should celebrate this. You’re gonna make another hit record! I’m making sangrias!”, He said, causing Gwen to laugh out loud. He softly placed his hand on top of her knee then, right before he stood up and passed her to go make them another sangria. Even though he knew deep down he should go home and meet Anna there. But one sangria wouldn't hurt, right?

 Gwen couldn’t stop smiling, while she played the demo they made once more. He was right. With some good editing, this might be it.

He made her believe in music again.

 

 

 

 

 

Five sangrias later... -or was it more?- Blake walked into the kitchen and opened the door of the fridge to get himself some water. Those sangrias had started to raise to his head, both Gwen and him having to call an uber to drive them home. When he felt the coldness of the fridge hit his skin, he saw a plate with food in it. He hit himself on the head as he cursed underneath his teeth. Anna was going to make them dinner. Right.

He closed the door again, not even bothering to pick out some water now, as he walked further into his house. The tv was playing softly and when he turned around to the living room, he saw a very much asleep Anna laying knocked out on it.

He hid his face behind his hands as he shook his head in disbelieve. How could he do this to her? After taking a moment to remind himself of what a rude bastard he is, he started to tiptoe his way to the couch. As careful as possible he took a seat right next to her. He softly traced his fingers over her face to wipe some hairs behind her ear.

His touch startled her as her eyes suddenly shot open. “Blake?”, she mumbled out tiredly and he hummed immediately. “What time is it?”

“Around 11”, he answered.

“I’m so sorry, Anna”, he whispered immediately with an enormous amount of regret. She pulled her body up to sit with her legs thrown over one another.

“For what?”, she asked neutrally. He couldn’t tell what she was feeling right now, which made him super nervous. “For what are you sorry, Blake?”, she repeated when he looked dumbfounded.

“Because I forgot about our dinnerdate tonight”, he answered then embarrassed, almost too much to be able to look her in the eye.

“That’s the only thing?”, She asked directly.

“I’m also sorry for not letting you know it would be this late, my phone died and I couldn’t—“, he stopped talking as she gave him a mad look. “It’s not an excuse, I know, I’m sorry”, he whispered while reaching his hand out to touch her knee. Luckily enough she let it happen and didn’t pull back. Her eyes did leave his to follow the movements of his thumb on her bare skin. She let out a sight.

“That’s all, right?”, she asked in a whisper. Blake nodded. “Yeah”, he answered her. “For what it’s worth the food looks delicious, Anna, you’re the most amazing woman ever”, he said giving her a sad smile.

“Really? Most amazing?”, she asked then suddenly, making Blake’s heart beat faster. Blake nodded while pushing himself off of the couch.

“Definitely”, he answered her while leaning in and kissing her lips, trying to act casually. She kissed him back as her hand touched his cheek softly. They separated for a second before he pecked her on the lips once more.

He had just turned around and took a few steps towards the hallway to take off his coat, when he heard Anna’s voice.

“Did you have fun with your buddy though?”,

Right. He had left a note this morning that he was meeting Luke to catch up. “Yeah, yeah, we had a blast”, Blake answered as he kept on walking, not being able to face her while lying.

“Blake?”, She asked in a sad whisper suddenly. He froze and looked over his shoulder at her, he hummed.

“Do you like her?”, Anna asked then out of the blue. Blake was taken aback. He had completely frozen while he kept his eyes locked with hers. Thinking what the right thing was to do now. Eventually he took his coat off right there and threw it on a nearby table. Hesitantly he took a few steps closer now and just looked his girlfriend in the eye.

“Who precisely are we talking about?”, he answered carefully.

“Are there more woman I should worry about then?”, she kept her voice soft as she didn’t even seem to be angry. But instead you could hear the pain in her voice, the betrayal and he felt as if he was the worst person on earth. He walked over to her while shaking his head. He took a seat on the couch as well, leaving a bit more distance now.

“Right after I read your note about how you went out with Luke, I decided to check my instagram. So I opened your laptop…” , she swallowed, not taking her eyes off of Blake for one second. “It opened to the e-mail… of Gwen asking you to meet up”,

Blake couldn’t do it any longer, he threw his eyes down in shame and felt as if he was ready to die just  now.

“Why did you lie?”, Anna asked shakily, while moving her hand up to her noise to stop the sniffling. She didn’t want to get emotional. She wanted to hear the truth, no empathy. Just the bare truth. So tears were really not welcome now.

“I—I don’t know”, Blake answered quickly. He moved his eyes back up to hers.

“I like you. I do, so much”, he sounded desperate and lost, it did bring t tears to Anna’s eyes now as she bit her lip. Trying to hold them from falling over her cheek.

“That’s why I won’t lie any longer”, he whispered. “I used to like her”, he admitted, causing Anna to nod. “And now things are confusing sometimes”, he had to swallow.

“Did you do something with her?”, She had been afraid to ask, but she had to. A huge relief fell from her shoulders when he instantly shook his head.

“No!”, he cried out. “I would never!”, he added while reaching his hand out towards her knee. But he stopped himself, not wanting to get rejected and knowing that he would this time. “I wouldn’t do that to you. Gwen needed a friend today, and that’s it”

Suddenly Anna moved up. She sat up on her knees and leaned in towards him. Her hands were cupping both his cheeks now and she stared in his eyes. He didn’t know what to do but swallow.

“Do you wanna be with her?”,

“Anna, no, she’s married”, he whispered hesitantly while bringing his hand up towards her arm. He could literally feel his heart break because of the way she was looking at him.

“But what if she wasn’t?”, She asked. The question kept ringing through his brain as he was staring in the eyes that were expecting an honest answer, like right now. 


	11. eleven

** TWO WEEKS LATER… **

“So you and Behati are having a baby. That’s exciting”, Carson spoke excited which made Adam throw his hand up in the air. They were doing the first interview for the battle rounds.

“Yes!”, Adam exclaimed happily with the brightest smile on his lips. Blake’s head moved away from Gwen the first time since the interview started to get a look of his best friend. He felt so super proud and happy for him that he finally was going to have everything he always wanted.

“I can’t believe you’re growing up so fast all of a sudden”, Blake joked while throwing his arm over the back of the couch. Adam looked back at him and instead of rolling his eyes or just being his mean self towards Blake, he moved in to softly pet Blake on his chest with a content smile on his face.

“You’re getting emotional, old man?” Adam teased, causing Blake to chuckle out loud while throwing his head back. Gwen was sitting next to Pharrell, watching him every move. Every time he lets out a laugh, she felt her own corners of her mouth curl up. Even if she wanted to stop that, there was no way she could. Even if it scared her how much he started to mean for her in such a short notice, she couldn't help but feel her heart beat faster when he glances her way and flashed her his dimples, just for her. 

“You’re gonna love being a dad”, Gwen spoke up now, causing Adam to smile at her brightly. She knew it was true. Adam would be the most caring and funniest dad ever. Probably the kind that would embarass his girl when she is a teenager but she would still love him with all her heart. For a few more seconds all of them were just smiling contently before Carson moved back on.

Soon they were playing a game in which they were given a situation and they had to guess who of the four coaches had experienced or accomplished that particular situation. They had two signs with all their names on it, so they had to pull the name they figured was right for the situation up in the air. Simple and fun. It went from who had performed where, who collaborated with whom, to teenage stories or just embarrassing moments they'd forget about. 

“Who of you was the youngest to have a first kiss?”,

“Oh that’s a tough one”, Gwen mumbled honestly while glancing over at how fast Adam pulled his own name up in the air, causing her to giggle. But his determination made her pull up Adam as well.

“Oh come on, it has to be”, She heard Blake say all of a sudden as he throw his arm up in the air with such an ease. It was her name.

She frowned his way with a ridiculous smile on her face.

“Me?”, she cried out surprised while shaking her head in disbelief.

“It pains me to admit this, but yes Adam is hot. But not as hot as you”, Blake smiled, causing Pharrell to burst out in laughter as he was tilting Blake's name up.

Gwen was beaming at Blake who was smirking right back at her. Those dimples might be the end of her one day.

Carson checked all the answers.“The right answer was Adam”, Carson said, leaving Adam smiling proudly as Blake looked confused.

“What?”, he cried out. “How is that possible?”, Blake said as he was determined it would’ve been Gwen.

“I actually only had my first kiss when I was 17 or something”, Gwen admitted then, making Blake throw his brows up.

“Wow”, he said then while looking over at Adam. 

“I wasn't even 13”, Adam said while he immediately burst out in laughter himself. Blake rolled his eyes at his friend.

“13? That’s young!”, Pharrell said as well, causing Adam to shrug.

“I’m irresistible”, He said then causing Gwen to laugh out loud.

 “Oh the next is a good one as well”, Carson interupted with a smile. “Who once tried to flirt with someone by using his or her fame... but the person he or she was flirting with didn’t recognize him or her”,

Gwen looked over at Pharrell who was locking eyes with her as well.

“Definitely not you”, Pharrell said to her then, making the two of them giggle. Nope it wasn’t something like them to do so. Instead they threw their eyes over at the other couch on which both Blake and Adam were sitting, holding each other’s name up in the air.

Hesitantly with a shy smile on her face, she started to tilt Blake’s name up as well. His mouth dropped open as he saw her hand go up.

“No you didn’t!”, he said with his typical country drawl, causing Gwen to burst out in laughter. “Is it because I’m this country boy?”, he asked her then teasingly on which Gwen nodded back while throwing her brows up a couple of times.

Soon Pharrell followed by also holding Blake’s name up in the air. Blake hit his hand in front of his eyes while shaking his head.

“It wasn’t Blake actually”, Carson said then, causing Gwen to cry out.

“What?”, she squaeled then while glancing over at Adam who was scrunching his nose.

“I’m guilty as charged here!” Adam threw in then, causing all four of them to laugh.

“But hey! First of all, I had a bit too much to drink, plus! She did know This Love, she just didn’t know I was the guy that sang it”, He tried to defend himself causing Blake to clap his hands while throwing his head backwards.

“That’s even worse!”, he said then before moving his head back up towards Gwen. “I can’t believe you actually believed I used my fame to get a girl! I don’t need my fame to do so!”, Blake told her then, making her wonder if he was actually flirting so obviously with her now.

“Oh don’t you?”, she joked confident, causing Blake to chuckle.

“What was the weirdest thing you ever did to flirt with someone then?”, Carson asked him, causing Adam to sit up straight and being super interested to make fun of his friend. Blake immediately started laughing while shaking his head.

“Let’s see”, he said then as he thought for a second. “Well I actually pretended to know anything about how to fix some broken device, just to have an excuse to talk with her some more. But in all honesty, I had no clue what I was doing”, Blake answered, causing Adam and Pharrell to laugh. Gwen frowned a little.

“You’re an idiot”, Adam said almost immediately.

“Like what kind of device are we talking about then? Like a phone or for real something like a microwave or whatever?”, Pharrell couldn't help but laugh. 

“It was a air conditioner actually”, Blake corrected him while glancing over at Gwen softly. He saw her eyes grew wider then and the frown disappear, as it suddenly seemed to hit her. He was talking about her right now.

“So wait wait! You, a hillbilly that lives in the middle of the woods, you actually pretended to know anything about technology just because you have no other flirting skills at all, am I getting this right?”, Adam joked, clearly being amused by the situation. Blake chuckled, leaving Gwen her gaze to look at his friend. 

Gwen on the other hand felt her heart beat faster inside her chest. What was he doing? And why?

“So did you fix it?”, She heard Carson ask vaguely.

“What kind of question is that! Of course he didn’t!”, Adam couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably. 

“Worse even, I’m pretty sure that it was fixable before I started to fiddle with it, but because of me it was completely broken”, he said with a laugh.

“But did you get the girl though?”

Blake finally traced his eyes back towards the blonde sitting a few seats away from him. He could hear the laughter of his friends around him, but was surprised to see a very conflicted Gwen in front of him. Her smile had completely disappeared as he noticed her swallowing instead. She threw her eyes away from him almost immediately and he wondered if he shouldn’t ‘ve told this. He kept his eyes on her worriedly as he answered hesitantly.

“I’m not sure if I did”, His own grin had completely disappeared then as well.

 

 

Luckily for Gwen Carson ended the interview there and only a couple of seconds later, she hurried herself out of the room. It was worse enough already that she had been thinking about him almost the entire time for weeks now, she couldn’t take this any longer. Sure it had been obvious how they had been flirting and joking around with one another from time to time, but it’s a complete other thing to actually admit it. To actually say: ‘I made up an excuse just to be able to talk to you some more’. That’s a whole new level.

And also, how could he do this? How could he dominate her entire brain, admit that he flirted with her to then at the end of the day to go back home to his girlfriend? How could he give her hope and shattered it down again? She even felt some tears prickle in her eyes as she almost reached her trailer. A million thoughts raced through her brain then.

“Gwen!”, Blake’s shout came from behind her and she couldn’t help but roll her eyes. She didn’t slow down, instead she sped up.

“Jesus Gwen, please stop” , he sounded annoyed as she kept on ignoring him while walking into her trailer. Blake followed her inside, not even bothering to ask whether he was allowed to. He did stay on the  whole opposite side of the trailer as she was pacing around.

“Don’t do this”, Blake whispered. That caused Gwen to turn her head his way and finally let their eyes meet.

“How could you just answer that?”, she snapped his way, causing Blake to frown.

“What are you talking about?”, he asked trying to play it cool as he teased her a little, hoping for a small smile. But she wasn’t taking it.

“I can’t believe you’”, she whispered in between her teeth. Blake on the other hand sighted worried while walking up to her.

“I don’t get why this upset you this much. It was not my intention at all, so talk to me”, He admitted then as his hand touched her arm. But she flinched and took a step backwards.

“Why did you answer that question like that?”, Gwen asked again, ignoring his previous words as she couldn’t stand still and started pacing around again.

“You know why, Gwen!”, Blake raised his voice now, trying to get her out of her head. Gwen swallowed softly.

“No I don’t”, she cried out stubbornly as she stayed still all of a sudden. When her eyes met his then, she took a step closer to him then, waiting for an answer.

“Because I like you, Gwen”, he cried out then as he let out a sight.  “I didn’t want to! But I do”, he spoke then again in a softer voice as he looked away from her. Gwen was surprised he actually said it out loud. She considered to sit down for a second to let the words sink in. Obviously she always knew he liked her, more than as just a friend. But she always figured things wouldn’t be able to happen between them. She had had her chance, but instead she had left.

“How can you admit you like me when you have a girlfriend?”, she whispered in disbelief, rather to herself than to him. She suddenly felt all her insecurities kick in. Blake wasn’t a cheater, she knew that. But hearing him say those words made her angry. Angry that maybe he was after all… just when she was about to make up the worst case scenario in her head, Blake interrupted her thoughts.

“Had”, he said then softly, keeping his eyes focused on Gwen. “I had a girlfriend”, he repeated while he stayed put. He wanted to close the gap between them, but he couldn’t. He felt his heart beat faster in his chest, nervous about what she was about to say next.  Gwen frowned, not yet having token his words in yet.

“Anna and I broke up”, he added nervously as he felt as if she was trying to read his mind.

“Oh”, Gwen mumbled out quietly, not sure what she should do now. “I’m sorry”, she wasn’t really, but well… Blake simply nodded at her thankfully.  She felt suddenly super nervous and even felt bad for getting upset with him only a few seconds ago. But she felt most guilty of all to even consider that she had been wrong about him all along. That he wasn’t as great as she had told herself.

“I really, really liked her”, he said eventually, catching Gwen her full attention. “She was flawless, kind and such a blast to hang out with”, he sounded sincere and suddenly Gwen actually did start to feel sorry for him.

“She sounds like the perfect girl then”, she was looking down at her shoes, avoiding his gaze.

“She is”, Blake said. “And she made me happy for months”, he answered honestly while he moved his hand towards her face.

“When did you break up?”, she asked then.

“A few weeks ago”,

“Wait, were you broken up with her already when we edited Used To Love You?”, she was confused.

“No”, he said shortly after she spoke. “We actually broke up that night”,

“Oh”, Gwen brought out nervous. It almost make him chuckle at how awkward she was being right now, clearly avoiding his eyes.“Why?”,

He titled her chin up to meet her terrified, shy eyes.

“Because one day this blonde came walking through this door and since then all I could think about was her”, Blake added as he shook his head still a little confused. As if he still couldn’t believe how all of this turned out. He noticed how her eyes started to get teary and he had to take a deep breath in before he could speak again.

“Because she’s not you”,

Suddenly he felt her tiny hands –lightly shaking- taking a hold of his as she had to hold back from crying. She actually wanted to wrap her arms around his waist, pull him as close to her as humanily possible, but she didn’t.

 “I’m so broken , Blake… and I have kids”, she said with her shaking voice. “There are so many girls that—“, he didn’t let her finish.

“None of them are you”, he said immediately causing Gwen to push her lips together while looking over at him. She could actually feel her heart beat so incredibly fast in her chest.

“But I can’t give you what you want, I can’t give you the family you always wanted”,

“I want you, Grace”, he said while letting out a chuckle as the smile stayed put on his face. He couldn’t believe she still didn’t see it. She had to gasp for air for a second while he took a step closer to her. Her eyes closed.

“The only family I want is you”, She could feel his breath on her cheeks. He was so close, suddenly not that far out of reach any longer.

“It’s me and my three boys, it’s the whole package, and I get it if that would scare you away…“, she had felt one of his hands move out of hers to place a finger over her lips to hush her.

“I would want nothing more than to meet your two other boys”, he whispered then as his hand was cupping one of her cheeks now.

“And what if I get insecure and push you away?”

“I don’t care where you run to, cause I am gonna find you”,

Her heart skipped a beat when she felt herself leaning closer and closer into him. She pushed herself up on her tiptoes and placed both of her hands on his chest. She could feel his fast heartbeat, it almost made her chuckle, until she realised Blake had started to lean in as well. Their lips only a few inches away from one another, both their eyes still locked on one another, as they simply were grinning out of happiness but also out of anticipation. Gwen was the first one to closer her eyes as she brought her arms around his neck and allowed her fingers to softly go through his curls. Meanwhile she felt Blake’s hand gently pull her closer as they were on the small of her back.

Her entire body felt as if it was on fire but at the same time she felt completely at ease. But out of nowhere Gwen grunted softly. Blake’s eyes  opened again as he felt her arms fall down again on his chest and pushed herself a few inches back again.

“I can’t kiss you”, she whispered reluctantly almost against his lips, right before she pushed herself away from him further now.

“Wait, what?”, Blake asked in confusion, maybe even a bit worried that he had said something wrong.

“Not when I’m still living in that house with him”, Gwen explained quickly as she faced a pouting, confused Blake. A huge frown on his head as he gave her a baffled look.

“I’m still married”, she added while throwing her hand up in the air. “I’m still wearing his ring”, she said in disgust while letting out a big sight and pouted.

It’s the adorable, tiny pout on Gwen’s face that brought Blake back to this earth.

 “Oh god you’re serious”, he sighted then as he widened his eyes. He had brought his hand up to cover his eyes, massaging his head with his thumb.

Gwen pursed her lips together when he finally let his hand fall down again and locked eyes with her again. She had to hold back her laughter by seeing the desperation on his face.

“I’m not a cheater, Blake!”, Gwen said while letting out a small giggle while moving closer to him again. “He might be an ass, but I – am – not – a – cheater”,

She  threw her arms around his neck then, feeling relieved she could finally do that.

“Are you mad?”, she asked while scrunching her nose up adorably. Blake smiled then out of disbelief as well as he eventually let out a small laugh. This woman.

“Of course not”, he said while leaning in and placing a kiss on top of her head now. Her entire body started to glow up by the feeling of his lips on her skin, immediately regretting her decision from earlier. “This is just killing me”, he whispered honestly, while letting out a chuckle. She felt how his thumb were drawing circles on her waist and she could barely believe how much that affected her already.

“Wait for me”, she said then while bringing both her hands up to cup his cheeks. Her nails scratching over his scruff as they just kept locking eyes with one another. A bright smile on her face as he was staring at her in a way she had never been stared at.

“Only a few more days, cowboy”, she said then while teasingly leaning in to brush her lips on his jaw line.

“I’d wait forever for you”, he said while he pulled her in for a hug. His strong arms completely thrown around her tiny body. With a happy smile on her features, she pushed herself on her tiptoes and leaned in to place a soft kiss right behind his ear. After that she felt his head nuzzle in her neck, causing her to giggle softly. She whispered then:

“You got the girl, Blake”,


	12. twelve

The next days had been going by very slowly. Not touching Gwen had become more and more difficult by every single second that passed by. Hearing her talk in such a sweet and loving voice to her contestant to simply the way she moves, Blake could no longer handle it. He had no idea how he could’ve denied the way he felt for her for so long. How he could have convinced himself he could be just friends with that woman.

While right now he was staring at her from a two chairs away. He also felt the need to watch her none stop, which wasn’t helping either. Every time she closed her arms around one of the contestants, he found himself wishing he could feel her warmth around him. It went that far that he even got slightly jealous when another man got to held her body close to theirs.

Every break he walked up to her chair. At first standing in between hers and Adams, to try and hide the fact that he wanted to be near Gwen as he was equally talking to Adam. But he had given up on the hiding part as he eventually, a few breaks later, ended up leaning his elbows against the front of Gwen her chair, just to stare at her as she talked to him.

He felt kind of stupid, as if he was falling in love for the first time, but then again he couldn’t help himself. At one point Gwen had leant in as well, also seeming to have the need to touch him as she placed her hand on top of his arm –that was still resting on her chair. Both of them sharing laughs and adorably staring at one another, not even caring for a couple of seconds what the people will think around them. But soon they were reminded to at least try to act as professionals and they went on with secretly throwing each other short glances and reluctantly looking away, to not betray themselves.

His eyes were shamelessly focused on Gwen when a certain battle for Team Blake was about to start. A soft piano tune started filling the room and he noticed how her head immediately started to move along to it. At one point the piano tune was accompanied with a sudden drum. Then the female one of Blake’s team with her raspy voice started singing.

_Summer after high school when we first met_

He noticed how Gwen her eyes widened then all of a sudden and turned her head his way. The one that got away. Basically their song. Her eyes sparkled brightly at his, making him flash her his dimples. After that he focused back on his contestants, also not being able to sit still. He was able to look away from Gwen for quite some time, until the chorus came up. His eyes travelled back towards Gwen who had just seemed to have turned to face him as well.

“In another life I would be your girl, we keep all our promises. The us against the world”, she mouthed back at him, causing him to grin widely. She got more shy then as she giggled and looked back at the two adorable contestants in front of her, both equally nailing the song. Both Gwen and Blake glanced each other’s way once in a while to catch one another enjoying the song with the biggest smile thrown on their faces.

 

 

 

The next day Blake had gotten a chance to meet both Kingston and Zuma who he had an instant connection with. Even though Blake was rather quiet and didn’t make as much jokes as usual. Instead he shut his mouth more often to observe her boys. It only took him a couple of seconds to notice how Zuma was her calm, sweet boy but with an amazing laugh and some sarcastic comments. Much like her. He already liked the kid a lot, just by the way he used humour as a way to connect with people he just met. Blake does that as well. He brought a book and was reading quietly almost the entire day on set.

Kingston on the other hand is into sports and seems to always find energy to be enthusiastic about anything. He talks to everyone he meets on set, which also reminds him of Gwen. Humble and kind. Whatever Gwen is doing, he wants to be helping her. Whether she asks him or not, he always seems to stay near her, watching her from time to time, as if to check up on her. Blake realised how that little man was way more aware of what had been happening in his “warm” home than Gwen will every realise. He seems to be very protective of her and it warmed Blake’s heart, but at same time it made him ache. Thinking back on Blake’s own youth, about how he had to witness his mom’s unhappiness right before they divorced. And that divorce didn’t even have assault in it… he can’t wrap his head around how Kingston must be feeling.

 

 

And right now  Blake was sitting right in front of Gwen, both her eyes closed as she was leaning her head against the window. After hours she seemed to finally have been able to fall asleep throughout her worries. Blake sighted, imagining how badly her thoughts must be bothering her right now. He swallowed while glancing over at the seats not directly next to his, but on the other side of small hallway  between his and the other seats. All three of her boys laying lightly on top of each other, Apollo resting in Kingston’s arm and Zuma sitting on the other site, facing his brothers. All of them asleep.

Blake stood up and took a few blankets that he brought just in case. He covered up Gwen her body, knowing she always gets cold. Soon he also walked up to her little boys and did the same. Apollo blinked a few times by the sudden warmth. He threw him a giggly smile before he wiped his tiny hands over his eyelids sleepily. He soon was shaking his head in search of any other familiar faces, but only calmed down once he saw his mommy knocked out nearby him. At that sight he lifted his own arms up towards Blake and crawled away from under Kingston’s arm. Blake smiled as he lifted the toddler up in his arms and walked back up towards his own seat in front of the beautiful Gwen Stefani, still peacefully sleeping.

Apollo nestled himself in his shirt as he started to gaze out of the window. Blake did the same. It seemed peaceful. The sky was dark blue as the sun had set by now, a little orange right at the horizon and a few fluffy clouds hanging in the air… right under them. Apollo reached his hand up towards the clouds as if he was trying to catch them, causing Blake to chuckle softly. The kid looked up at the cowboy, smiling along before the he nestled himself on Blake’s chest.

“Go back to sleep now”, Blake whispered to two year old while holding him close towards him. He travelled his eyes back to Gwen before looking back at the beautiful night sky. Still not one single building visible underneath them. The exhaustion seemed to hit him by now as well, so he decided to close his eyes for a second as well. Hoping that the next time he’ll open them, they’d be flying right over the fields of Oklahoma…

 

 

** A FEW HOURS EARLIER… **

“Are you ready?”, Blake whispered when they were in the very last break of the battle round of this season. Gwen nodded while letting out a deep sight. She was standing with her back towards him, facing a mirror, yet not directly looking at him throughout it. He could just feel how tensed she was. Because he couldn’t handle it, he walked up to her and rested both of his hands on her shoulders. His hands gently stroke over her shoulders, trying to calm her down. She locked eyes with him now through the mirror and threw him a thankful smile. Blake’s smile seemed to calm her.

Her eyes closed by his touch and he felt how she leaned into his chest. The back of her head eventually landed on top of beating heart as he lifted his hands up from her shoulders to eventually lock them around her body, taking her in a tight embrace.

“We’ll be fine”, he said while he kissed her on her temple. “I promise”, Her hands travelled up to grab a hold of his arms around her and caressed her thumb over his soft skin. He had been softly rocking their bodies and she had finally forgotten about all of her worries for a second, when suddenly from outside of her trailer, they heard high pitched children voices.

Blake noticed how a genuine smile grow on her face then and he felt thankful that she didn’t get a heart attack and jumped out of his embrace immediately. Instead she only let go a few seconds later and walked out of Blake’s arms then and took his hand to lead him out of the bathroom of the trailer. After that she did let go of his hand and walked up to the door of her trailer.  

“Stay here till his gone, kay?”, she asked on which Blake immediately nodded. He did walk up to the window of the trailer, completely covered by a curtain. Yet still giving Blake the access to look get a glance what’s going on outside of it.

Once she opened to door and had taken a few steps out of it, she saw her three boys talk to Adam who was sitting on the couch. The man was laughing loudly, with whatever Zuma had asked him.

“Hey, Gwen, your kid don’t believe I’m the guy that sings Payphone!”, Adam shouted out once he took notice of her presence, causing Gwen to laugh out loud as well. After glancing over at the singer and her three kids, she saw Gavin right behind them. She threw him a weak smile as well.

“Oh well Zum, he is baby”, she said, answering on Adam’s comment before leaning down to kiss all three of her kids. Gavin had opened his arm towards her then as she walked into it and allowed him to give her a side hug and place his lips on top of her head.

“Hi”, Gwen said then to her husband.

“Hey love”, he answered. “The meeting will be until 11 or something. I’d be home after that”, he told her. Gwen nodded, avoiding his eyes as she stayed put in his arms on purpose instead.

“Good”, she said, knowing she won’t be there to greet him.

“Boys, your dad has to go, say goodbye”, she said then, desperately needing them to take her serious. Kingston gave her a weird look, having heard something different her voice. He was the one to walk up to his dad then and threw his arms around him. Zuma followed, not truly asking any question about it as he just followed whatever his brother did and Gavin picked Apollo up shortly to give him a short kiss.

“I’ll walk you to your car”, Gwen said then, making Gavin laugh a little, feeling some weirdness as well.  He didn’t ask question though as he just ended up nodding.

He threw a short wave, not out of friendliness but more as an obligation. Adam did the exact same as he kept the kids entertained. Soon Gwen and Gavin were walking side by side back towards the parking lot.

The moment Gavin had turned his back towards the trailers, Blake decided to sneak out of Gwen’s. But the moment he did so, he just saw the look Kingston was giving him. He knew something had been up, and Blake walking out of her trailer wasn’t helping either. Zuma had been too entertained by Adam’s stories that he hadn’t even bothered to look up .

“Hey guys”, Blake spoke out once he was near them, finally catching Zuma’s eyes.

“Hi Blake!”, he answer happily and Apollo immediately started to giggle. After walking up to the little boy and picking him in his arms, he glanced back at Kingston. Still giving Blake a questioning look, maybe even a scared one as Kingston then changed his eyes towards something behind Blake. That made Blake glance over to whatever Kingston was looking at. Gwen and Gavin standing on the parking lot now, who were still visibly talking about something at Gavin’s car.

 

 

“Where was Blake?”, Gavin asked then, making Gwen almost roll her eyes at him.

“Um, I’m not sure, why?”, she asked nonchalantly.

“Am I not allowed to ask you that?”, Gavin snapped. She was very much aware he had been jealous with Blake every since he saw her talking with him on New Year’s Eve… and he sure as hell had a reason. He had made clear more than once how jealous exactly was, leaving bruises all over her body. Gwen just looked away from him, not even daring to look at his eyes. She felt scared again. Luckily he was the one to stark talking again.

“I’m sure they are going out for a drink to celebrate the end of the battles, hah?”, Gavin asked then on a way calmer voice, as he pulled his arms around her waist, wanting her to catch his eyes. So she obeyed. They weren’t, she thought. But instead she nodded.

“I’m sorry you can’t go along”, he tried to sound sincere, but she knew. She knew how he made sure he had a meeting today, just to make sure she wasn’t gonna be able to tag along for in case they would actually get a drink. And in case she would’ve asked for a nanny, she knew he would’ve blamed her to be a bad mom considering she couldn’t just make time for her boys a Friday night just when their holiday started. That’s right, they had two weeks no school. Gwen smiled.

“It’s ok, it’s not your fault”, she lied, but it came out believable as Gavin smiled at her.

As he planned on leaving, he leaned in to place a cold, meaningless kiss on her lips. Just when he was about to get in his car, Gwen reached for his arm again. He looked over his shoulder to find Gwen’s eyes. He frowned confused.

But without giving any explanation, she pulled his arm closer to her until he was right in front of her. Her hands moved towards his neck and brushed her lips against his roughly. He seemed to have been surprised by her sudden movement as she only felt him kiss her back after a couple of seconds. His arms then hesitantly went around Gwen her back as she suddenly could somehow remember how he used to be. How he used to care for her. A fraction of a second, the man she had married had been there again. But the second she separated and looked back into his surprised eyes, she didn’t see innocence and honesty any longer that her husband used to have. Through his surprise, she could still see all the hurt he caused her.

He smiled then and she couldn’t help but smile back. A genuine smile. She knew what was next for her now, and that was the only reason she was smiling now.

“What was that for?”, he asked then, still smiling.

“Just—“, she said. “A goodbye kiss”, she said while taking a few steps backwards. Gavin nodded as he waved at her. She waved back and soon she turned her back at him. Walking back into Universal studios, she left him behind.

 

 

 

Once all of them had arrived _home_ , she ordered all three of her kids to grab a bag and put some warm clothes in it. Kingston was the first one to ask for an explanation.

Gwen was facing two very confused boys. Apollo wasn’t aware what was happening.

“We’re going on a trip”, Gwen said as she walked up towards her boys. She crouched down in front of them, to get a better look at her young men. “Remember how I told you two about Blake having a ranch in Oklahoma?”, she asked, leaving both the boys nod their heads.

“I asked you if you wanted to go there one day, right?”, she asked Zuma who was nodding hesitantly while glancing over at his brother next to him.

“You didn’t ask me that?”, King asked confused as he frowned at his mom. But the second his mom glanced his way, he saw her swallowing.

“Mom what’s going on?”, he asked in a shaking voice.

“We’re leaving”, Gwen said to her oldest, in all honesty and Kingston understood. “I figured considering you had a break from school, we could spend it there”, she said then, trying to sound enthusiastic as she looked back at Zuma now as well, who was nodding. He still seemed to think it was weird, as he glanced over at his older brother.

“Let’s go make our bags, Zum”, Kingston said then with a smile, making Gwen leave a relieved sight. Glad that her oldest was helping. He still gave her a worried glance but soon they both ran upstairs and were making a bag. She hadn’t done it for them, afraid that Gavin would find the bags in a mysterious way, but also because she needed them to decide what was important for them to bring along.

She followed them up with Apollo in her arms and went to her room. She quickly threw some of her clothes in a bag.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang and Gwen her heart skipped a beat suddenly.  She had told Blake to text her if he arrived. Her mind was making up worst case scenarios about Gavin being at the front door right now. She dropped whatever she had been holding in her hands and carefully started to walk up in the hallway. There she met Kingston, who seemed to be thinking the exact same. It’s then that she realised how he knew exactly what was going on right now.

“It’s probably Blake”, she tried to reassure Kingston, who nodded. She hesitantly descended the stairs and when she finally had made it in front of the door, she felt her heart beat faster inside her chest. This seemed such a good plan, but she realised that things could wrong by then.

Kingston had token a seat on the highest trade of the stairs and was glancing over at his mom. He noticed how she swallowed while letting out a frightened sight. In one quick movement she then reached for the door handle then and threw the door open and immediately he saw tears starting to run down her face. The kid was just about to jump up and ran down the stairs, when he heard a country accent.

“Hey hey, it’s ok”,  a loud thud followed when Blake let go of whatever he had been holding in his hands. His arms immediately were around King’s mom, hugging her tight.

“shh it’s ok”, he heard him whisper, as Gwen let go of a few sobs. Kingston swallowed when he realised how tightly Gwen her hands were grasping Blake’s shoulders out of fear and desperation.

“You were gonna text, I though Gavin—“, Blake hushed her again, knowing exactly what had been going on in her mind.

“My phone died, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry”, he kept on repeating as he held her tight. Kingston then quietly pulled himself up and left the stairs unnoticed. His bag had been finished, but he decided to grab another one and help Apollo with the packing. One less problem for his mom, he figured.

A few more minutes later, both Gwen and Blake were walking upstairs again and Blake tried to help Gwen pack. He had just came back from the police office and had dropped an entire file with pictures of Gwen her damaged body in it, through the years. She always wanted to leave him, so she did make pictures of whatever he had done to her over the years, as she hoped to find the courage one day to use them against him.  Reports and witnesses such as RaeLynn in Oklahoma, his friend that is a  nurse that he called up to ask for advice when Gwen was almost frozen to death, the doctor Gwen had visited for years and she had showed her bruises to from time to time, always with an excuse back in the day, and even some broken ribs and a few other such as Danillo and Gregory who worked with her for years.  They noticed, they covered up so many things they’ve done…

A copy of the entire file had been brought in with Gwen her lawyer a few days earlier to try and get full custody.

When Gwen was making her bag, Blake checked up on the boys from time to time. But eventually he stayed put leaning against the door frame, watching Gwen pack her last things when she suddenly noticed his presence.

Her eyes locked with his and she noticed a soft frown on his face.

“What’s wrong?”, she asked after she delicately placed another shirt in her bag. Blake shook his head, but he did walk a little closer to her. She was grabbing some stuff out of her night case when she glanced over a second time at Blake.

“Blake?”, she asked once more as she watched him pace around a little. Clearly something was bothering him, but he didn’t feel like it was the right time to bring it up. So instead she stopped packing for a second to fully concentrate on him.

“It’s nothing, just um—“, When his eyes met hers again, he let out a sight when he realised she wasn’t gonna let it go.

“Ok fine, but it’s silly, ok?”, He said then and she nodded while shrugging.

“You kissed him”, he dropped suddenly, causing Gwen to frown while letting out  a small giggle.

“Gavin?”, she asked then. “Of course, I needed to act normal, right?”, she added.

Blake nodded. “He kissed you”, he said dryly. “And then you kissed him again”, he said while letting out a lightly bitter chuckle. When he found her eyes again, he shook his head.

“I told you it was silly”, he mumbled out then, as he reached his hand out towards the battery charger she was holding in her hand, wanting to put it in her bag already. Yet she didn’t reach to hand it to him. So he looked back at her, to surprisingly find an amused smile on Gwen’s face all of a sudden.

“Is this really you being jealous now?”, she teased him while letting out a laugh now. Blake on the other hand just rolled his eyes, while making his way around the bed towards her sight. He took the charger out of her hand and walked over to put it in her bag.

“Is it?”, she asked with a silly smile on her face as she pulled herself up from the bed and followed him to the bag. He could feel how close she was standing behind him all of sudden which made him let out a sight.

“No, just never mind”, he mumbled while closing the zipper of her bag.

“Look at you! You are!”, she laughed, while walking around him, ending up standing in front of her.

“I really don’t think this is amusing”, he whispered within in a pout, causing her to cup his cheek and tilt his head to hers.

“It is to me”, she said then which made him roll his eyes now.

 “He was supposed to be the person that was gonna kiss me goodmorning and goodnight for every day of my life”, she explained to him while looking him in the eye. “And I loved him. So excuse me if I just needed to kiss him one last time”,

Blake’s frown was lightly disappearing by now.

“To say goodbye”, she said then shyly.

“So you don’t love him anymore?”, That brought a smile back on her face. She couldn’t believe how cute he is.

“I do. A part of me always will”, she answered to his surprise. “I spend 13 years with him. He gave me three miracles. I hate him but love him at the same time. For years already”, she admitted, knowing that it’s hard to understand, but that’s just what it is. She felt relieved to find him nodding as he seemed to get it. So he took the bag of the bed and threw it over his shoulder.

“You still think it’s weird don’t you?”, she said teasingly, making Blake chuckle while nodding.

“Yep”, he said  as he stopped walking again as she took a hold of his arm.

“I needed to get closure. To end that chapter, so I can start a new one”, she added while softly placing her hands on his tights. “To feel free to kiss whoever I wanna kiss from now on”, she said then while gazing in his eyes. Hinting that it was ok for him to kiss her now.

His eyes were sparkling and he couldn’t think about anything but her tiny hands softly laying on top of his tights.

“I get it now”, Blake said then with a bright smile, leaving Gwen giggling. But he didn’t seem to have gotten the hint or well the permission to kiss her as he ended up walking out of her room and go towards the boys. She rolled her eyes, as she needed to feel his soft lips on hers again, just like months ago.

But instead she followed him outside her room, not even bothering to give it a last look. She closed the door of the bedroom and walked up to the boys their room, in which Blake was taking a hold of all their bags and was soon dragging all of them down the stairs. The boys followed him and Gwen picked up Apollo. When all the bags were inside Blake’s car and the three boys had taken a seat in the car as well –the youngest obviously in a baby chair- Blake told them he’d be right back.

He found Gwen in the kitchen. Much like he saw her earlier in her trailer. With her back his way and her shoulders completely tensed.

“Do you want me here or should I give you some time alone?”, Blake said then, but Gwen immediately shook her head, she reached her hand out towards him. She didn't want him to leave, not now, not ever. He walked up to her. A divorce file laying on top of the kitchen counter, along with a note.

His eyes traced over it. He immediately recognized the lyrics from Used To Love You.

He kissed her on the neck, to show his support.

“You’re ready?”, He asked softly. Gwen let her arm fall down from on Blake’s waist and brought her hands up to the kitchen counter. Blake noticed how she took her ring off of her hand. She gave it one last look before placing it on top of the divorce file.

“I’m ready”, she sighted then relieved, as she immediately threw her arms back on Blake’s waist. Blake’s arm rested on Gwen’s shoulder then as well, as the both of them started to make their ways out of the house. She closed the door behind her, before glancing one more time at the black and white floor. She nodded, this was it. So she let the door fall into its lock.

 

That’s how a few hours later, Blake was sitting in front of an asleep Gwen with her youngest knocked out by now on his chest as well. The two others carefully tucked in the blanket. His eyes had closed a couple of minutes earlier and he could feel how he drifted off in a sleep now as well.

The next time his eyes flew open was when Blake felt someone putting on his seatbelt. He started to blink with his eyes a few times and a smile grew on his face when the first thing he saw was Gwen’s big, brown eyes staring at him as she leaned into him.

“We’re gonna land soon”, she whispered while she clicked his seatbelt together. He glanced over at the three boys –including Apollo- who were still out cold on the seats nearby them.

Soon he saw Gwen move away from him. His eyes followed her movements as she leaned over all her sweet boys and pulled their seatbelts on. They were completely exhausted from the previous weeks of school that they didn’t even came close to waking up. It made Gwen giggle softly before walking back up towards her own seat.

When she noticed how his eyes never had left her, she blushed lightly. For once more Blake quickly threw a glance at her kids. So risky he brought his hand up towards Gwen her face. With the upper parts of his index finger, he caressed her soft cheek, making Gwen beam up at him.

“How you feeling?”, he asked her with his silky voice. Instead of answering  him, she delicately placed her hands on both sides of his legs on his seat. She pulled herself up slightly and as simple as it might have been she brushed her lips on top of his. He was too sleepy to be able to react properly, as he felt her warm, soft lips against his for a short kiss. His entire body shivered as his fingers had spread across her face to cup her cheek. He barely had a chance to kiss her back when she was already pulling away.

“I feel grateful”, she whispered against his lips and the brightest smile conquered on his face.


	13. thirteen

“Do you guys want to sleep together or separately?”, Blake asked while glancing over in the rear-view mirror to look at Gwen her oldest boys. Meanwhile the gate towards his home was opening and soon enough they were parking on his driveway.

“What do you want, Zuma?”, Kingston asked while unbuckling his seatbelt.

“Do you have enough space to give every one of us an own room?”, Zuma asked in awn, causing Blake to chuckle.

“Yeah”, he answered while plugging his key out of the car. He glanced over at a sleepy Gwen who was giving him a warm smile. “Miranda and I bought this place thinking we might actually enlarge our family back then”,

“Who’s Miranda?”, Zuma asked curious.

“Zuma”, Gwen whispered under her breath, making Blake laugh.

“She was my wife”, He answered honestly, not giving Gwen the time to freak out even more.

“Past tense. So you’re single now?”, Kingston asked in an observing kind of way. He might’ve only been nine, but he wasn’t an idiot. Ever since he saw his mom together with this man, he already suspected something might’ve been up.

“King, don’t be so curious”, Gwen spoke in disbelief and Blake reached his hand out to softly touch her knee.

“It’s fine”, he said then, immediately pulling his hand back though. “I’m not married any longer and I don’t have a girlfriend either”, he answered Kingston then, who nodded attentive.

“Anything else you wanna know?”, Blake asked him, wanting to make the kid feel comfortable. Kingston locked eyes with the man for a few seconds longer before he shrugged and shook his head.

“Not now, no”, he said then smartly, causing both Gwen and Blake to laugh. After that they all stepped out of the car as Gwen took Apollo out of his car seat.

 

Soon they were walking up to the house, and Blake noticed how Gwen her eyes were taking in every detail of the house. Not in a way of surprise or awn, but more in a nostalgic kind of way. He opened the door of his ranch and soon Blake told King and Zuma to pick out any room to their right. So the boys went upstairs and started to walk around in the huge hallways.

“You ok?”, Blake asked while immediately closing the distance between them. Gwen hesitantly shrugged.

“Brings back a lot of memories”, she whispered while making her way into the living room. Seeing the couch, her entire body started to shiver. She felt cold again, just like she had been feeling when she had sit down on it a couple of months ago. She remembered how she could barely move her legs and if she did how it felt as if someone had been drilling into her skin. Blake took Apollo out of her arms then and threw his free arm over her shoulder.

“You cold?”, he whispered, making her nod the same second.

“Let me take you upstairs”, he said then, causing Gwen to chuckle. His voice already warmed her up as she looked away from the couch to catch his eyes.

Her amused eyes made him realise how he said it, causing him to roll his eyes a soft smile came on his face.

“You have no idea how many times I dreamed about you saying those exact words”, she teased him, as he just shook his head amused.

“You’re unbelievable”, Blake said within a chuckle as he took the lead and walked towards the stairs. When he looked behind him, he noticed how she still hadn’t followed him. So he took a few steps back and leaned against the doorframe.

“Gwen?”, he said then. “You coming?”,

After a couple more seconds of staring at the living room that had changed everything, that gave her the first sparkle of hope of a better life, she glanced over her shoulder.

“Yeah”, she whispered while nodding. A few steps later she was standing back in front of him and petted her hand a few times on his chest as she passed by him.

“What are you waiting for?”, she joked then as he was the one to stay put a second longer. Blake smiled while shaking his head again. He dimmed the lights in the living room then and followed Gwen upstairs.

 

 

Considering it was far into the night already, Gwen told the boys to get into their pyjamas immediately and to get some more sleep. She knew it wouldn’t be an easy task, considering mostly Zuma had some adjustments problems when new situations come along. So a new bed in an almost stranger’s house wasn’t going to pass without any troubles.

Gwen gave her two oldest a kiss goodnight and told them to at least try to close their eyes for a few more hours. Both of them had nodded and seemed to find a right position in the new bed. Luckily none of them had felt the need to ask questions yet, probably out of exhaustion from Zuma’s way and also King who just didn’t want to attack her with questions she did not know how to answer. She did see all the suspicious and unsettledness in both of her baby boys their eyes before their eyelids had been able to hid it for her.

Just the fact that she couldn’t take away the feeling of uncertainty and maybe even the fear that her kids were feeling right now, made her feel sick to her stomach. She stayed by Zuma’s side a bit longer, until she expected him to have fallen asleep. Her hands slowly stroke his blond hairs away from his forehead then and placed a soft kiss there.

“I love you”, she whispered before pushing herself up from the bed and walking out of the room.

As soon as she closed the door behind her, she could feel how she had silently started to turn to jelly. She took a deep breath in and when she turned around, she immediately was facing the beautiful cowboy a few steps away from her in the hallway.

A small smile on his lips as Apollo was completely knocked out in his arms, as Blake seemed to unconsciously been rocking him to stay asleep.

“Come here”, was all he had to whisper, for her to remember how badly he always was and had been in tune with her since day one. So she did what he asked and took a few steps his way. His arm went around her shoulder the same second and no more words had been wasted. A simple kiss on top of her head as he leaded her into the guest room that she had spent the night in back in the day as well. The only difference is that right now a baby bed was standing right next to the double bed.

“I figured you wanted Apollo near”, he said when he saw a smile grown on her face.

“When did you buy stuff like that?”,

“After we started making this plan through e-mails, I figured I’d just come here for a few days to make sure you’d at least feel a little bit at home”, he answered while placing Apollo down in the crib carefully. Gwen watched the scene as she noticed how he seemed so gentle, almost as if he was afraid he’d break him.

“I mean I realise this is only like your temporarily home—“, he added. “I mean temporarily permanent home, ‘cause from now on all four of you are always gonna be welcome here, but I just hoped this would at least make it a tiny bit easier”, he spoke softly and didn’t seem quite sure about what he was saying.

“I love it, Blake. Thank you for this. I don’t know what I did to deserve you”, she felt her eyes get teary, and apparently her voice gave it away as well as his eyes went up from Apollo’s to hers.

He took huge steps her way then as he shook his head.

“You deserve the world, Gwen Stefani”, he pulled her arms around her and drew her in for a hug that lasted a couple of seconds.

“This door leads to my room by the way”, Blake said then while tilting one of his hands towards a rather random door in the room. “This room was supposed to be like a baby room, you know? Like not in our room but yet very closely with only one door in between”, he explained neutrally and it broke Gwen her heart how he never got the chance to use this room for its purpose.

“And when Ran and I divorced, I couldn’t walk by it every day and be confronted by the painful fact that it would always be just an empty room you know? So one day I figured I would just start using this room as an extra guest room and placed this double bed in it and stuff”, he explained and she smiled at him out of understanding.

“So if you like ever need something, I’ll be just behind that door”, he eventually ended the story with, causing Gwen to nod.

“That’s great”, she said then with a shy smile. After that he let go of her body and started to take a few steps towards that door.

“Like normally out of privacy for my other guests I’d lock it—“, he started awkwardly, making Gwen immediately interrupt him with a giggle.

“Oh Blake, don’t be silly”, she cut him off immediately. “I’d be offended if you would lock it actually”, she said causing him to chuckle.

“Ok good, I just wanted to make sure”, he said with a sudden shy smile and she had to bite her lip because damn he is cute.

“I’ll go now”, he said, causing Gwen to nod at him with a smile. “You good? You have everything?”, Blake asked once more, causing Gwen to laugh.

“I’m more than good”, she answered, causing him to flash his dimples before looking away and opening the door in between their rooms.

“Oh but Blake”, Gwen stumbled out, causing him to look over his shoulder. “I know this might not be how you intended or expected this… but this room is not always gonna be the empty room or just a guest room”, she whispered softly. “You brought a crib into this room for a boy who recently started to play like a cowboy just because of you. For a boy who likes you… I know it’s not the same but somehow this room should not symbolize something that you missed out on, but it should symbolize the amazing man you are”

She had slowly taken a few steps his way and even though he wasn’t truly letting it see, she noticed how she got to him. His eyes had turned slightly emotional as only a couple of seconds after her speech he took the last steps towards her to close the distance. Her arms went around Blake’s neck, standing on her tiptoes as she felt his arms softly close around her waist. His head nuzzled in her neck for a couple of seconds before he needed to see those beautiful brown eyes of hers.

“Thank you”, he whispered causing her to nod it away immediately. It’s when their eyes had locked with one another that the electricity was all over the room. It might have been somewhere at three or four in the morning and they might’ve just ran away from her aggressive husband, but in this moment everything felt right. So right that it even slightly scared the both of them in that very same second.

Just their eyes locked with one another, sparkling with love, was scary but amazing at the same time. They could see how a small part of their eyes contained surprise and fear and just because of that, just because of them feeling the exact same way, they both smiled again almost at the identical moment.

“Kiss me”, Gwen whispered before she even had time to stop herself.

All Blake did was smile as he didn’t hesitated. Slowly he lowered his head to hers and let their foreheads meet. And only a second later Gwen felt how his lips were pressed on hers. His arms had slowly travelled away from her body and his hands had fallen shyly on top of her tides. Gwen on the other hand brought her arms away from his neck to touch his stubbly cheeks.

“Finally”, she murmured against his lips, as the two previous kisses she had been the one to start them and never really had given him the time or chance to kiss her back. Her words made him chuckle as he pressed his lips against her a tiny bit harder, causing Gwen to smile against his lips. Soon he took her bottom lip in his and after a couple more seconds, Blake started to pull back a little. Gwen clearly didn’t agree just yet, as she shook her head as she went along with his body. Her arms back around his neck to pull her body up towards his and to prevent their lips from separating and for the first time in forever she knew what it felt like to feel butterflies in her stomach.

 

 

Almost 15 minutes later she was standing in front of the wooden door that leaded towards Blake’s room. She didn’t know what the rules were. Like should she knock? Send him a text? Or like just walk in? No. Probably not the last part. God, she was over thinking this again. So she cleared her mind and just decided to drop her fist a few times against the door.

“Gwen?”, She heard his southern accent softly causing her to hum. A chuckle followed as he told her to come in. So she opened the door towards his room and noticed Blake drying his hair with a towel. A grey shirt on top of his body and a baggy sweatpants under it. He looked super hot, she noticed as she was taking him in. Another thing she noticed is how she had just been staring at him for the last couple of seconds without saying a word, causing him to chuckle.

“Hey there”, he said a couple more seconds later after he had walked back inside his bathroom to drop his towel.

“Hi”, she said also with a smile on her face. His blue eyes travelled all over her body then, causing him to softly bite his lip.

“You look great”, he smirked before he focused on unpacking his bag again. She was aware that he was talking about her nightdress that did show some of skin, but not in a inappropriate way, but yet she felt herself smirk back at him. She leaned her body against the doorframe to shamelessly check him out even more. Especially the moment he had bended down to take some shirts out of his bag.

“You do too”, she said, causing Blake to get up and look back over at her. He caught up on how she had even slightly tilted her head to get an even better look of his backside. An immediate chuckle filled the room then, causing Gwen to shamelessly giggle as well.

“You can always just come in, you know? You don’t have to knock. Unless you want to of curse”, he nonchalantly said while he was busy with putting his last pieces of clothes in one of his closets.  

“I wasn’t sure what you preferred”, she answered him. He walked up to her with a smile.

“I don’t know. It’s not like this is something that casually happens to me, you know?”, he answered while leaning against the wall close to her.

“What? Taking a woman and her three boys under your wing? Really, I’m the first?”, she answered with a laugh.

“No actually, I was talking about a beautiful woman like you to walk through this door”, he said honestly, causing her to beam at him.

“So I don’t have to knock?”, she asked then kind of insecure.

“Nope, not for me you don’t. But if it makes you more comfortable to do so, than do so. Just do whatever feels comfortable for you. There are no wrong things to do here, sweetie”,

She nodded while her hand reached out to touch his. Out of appreciation she squeezed his hand softly and they stayed like that for a few more seconds.

“You don’t have to knock either, just so you know”, Gwen said, leaving him nodding. A few more seconds after that went by, just staring in each other’s eyes. But soon Blake could no longer handle it and moved his body towards her. With a big grin on his face he softly brought his hand towards Gwen’s tight and caressed it down towards her lower back. The material of her nightdress was so silky and soft, he felt as if he was touching her bare skin.

“It’s late. You should get some sleep”, he whispered then, which caused an immediate pout to come to her lips.

“I won’t be able to”, she spoke with the pout on her face, making Blake chuckle. Her arms went around Blake’s lower waist now as well and she locked them around his body, clearly revolting to go to sleep.

“Come on”, he laughed as his hands on her waist turned her body around the other way, obligating her to let her arms around him fall back down. That way he leaded her towards the bed as he leaned his head against her shoulder and whispered: “At least try”

His breath on her skin made her body ache as she already wanted to  feel his lips on hers again. But she knew he was right. She should get some sleep because tomorrow was not going to be easy.

So she allowed Blake to threw the bed sheets open and soon he basically forced her to get lay under them. Just when he was adjusting he sheets very closely around her body, Gwen pouted again.

“Won’t you stay?”, That made Blake chuckle.

“I’m not sure if that’d be a good idea”, he answered honestly, very well aware of the two older boys close by them and how if they would get scared, they would come to their moms room. But his words made her pout grow even wider, making Blake chuckle.

“Just a few more minutes though”, he said as climbed over her body and stayed above the sheets. She seemed to be satisfied with that as she nestled her lower body under the warm sheets, yet throwing her arm in the cold air to be find Blake’s chest. After almost a minute of silence between the two of them and Blake softly stroking his fingers through her blonde hairs, he saw a smile form on her face. He was mesmerized by her beauty.

“Can you sing me a song?”,

“Like right now?”, Blake asked confused.

“Yes. I can’t sleep”, she answered before looking up at him shortly. “And I love how soft your voice is”, Blake chuckled while giving her one more glance to be sure she wasn’t kidding.

“What kind of song?”, he asked her then.

“Just whatever pops up in your head first”, she answered hoarsely as she nestled back into his chest. Blake thought for a few seconds before his mind got interrupted again by how her lips softly pressed a kiss on top of his shirt. Soon she rested her head against his chest again and just by that small gesture a song came to his mind. One of his arms still around her shoulder and stroking through her hair as the other one allowed him to softly trace one of his fingers over the arm that was around his chest.

And with that sight in mind he started singing the next song.

_She seems a million miles away._

_When she walks by you don't know what to say._

_You're gonna make your move; you better make it now_

_And don't be afraid 'cause love will show you how._

_You take that first step: ask her out and treat her like a lady._

_Second step: tell her she's the one you're dreaming of._

_Third step: take her in your arms and never let her go._

_Don't you know step by step; step by step you'll win her love._

 

By the first lyrics an immediate smile had formed on her face as she tightened her embrace around him. But at one point, not that much further into the song he saw how the smile started to slowly fade as the sleep started to get the best of her. So he changed from singing the lyrics to just humming the song till the end.

He knew that in a minute he had to gently crawl away from under her and sneak back to his own room but for now Blake simply smiled to himself and stayed put for another minute. Just softly stroking through her hair as he watched her drift off into a deep, peaceful sleep. He knew the following days weren’t going to be easy on her –or the boys, most likely King- but from today he also knew how everything will be worth it, to just have her fall asleep in his arms by the end of the day.


	14. fourteen

As both Gwen and Blake expected to happen, not much later after Blake had made his way towards his own bed, Gwen blinked her eyes by a few soft bumps on her mattress. Out of habit she opened her arm to search for a tiny body. She soon found one as she surprisingly didn’t hear the voice of Zuma. So by that she opened her eyes wider and sat up a bit straighter.

“Hey you, can’t you sleep?”, she whispered while bringing her hand up to softly stroke over Kingston’s cheek. His head leaned into her touch as she felt him shake his head. Her eyes started to get used to the dark by then as she saw the figure of his body by now.

“Get under here”, her voice was only a soft whisper, but it held back an enormous amount of hidden emotions. Kingston didn’t seem to hesitate as he got under the covers with his mom and laid his head down on her chest.

“Is it the strange room?”, she asked him while softly stroking over his head. It’s then that she felt his arms hugging her close to him. And by the way he didn’t answer her question, she started to truly see what was going on here. He hadn’t seemed scared and he didn’t seem to need her either. But yet his arms were around her… protectively she realised. He felt as if he should be around her, as if he should be the one to make sure she was ok.

She had to swallow. It hadn’t been the first time she noticed how grown up Kingston acted from time to time, and it hurt her. He is only nine, he shouldn’t feel responsible for his own mother. She leaned her head against his before kissing his scalp.

“Yeah mom, it’s the room”, He lied eventually once he felt how her heart had started racing.

“You never were a good liar”, she whispered, making Kingston hesitantly tilt his head her way.

“You shouldn’t worry about me”, she said then while she was the one hugging him towards her chest now. “We’ll be ok. I promise”

 

Around an hour later also Zuma joined them, him being the one actually being scared to sleep in a strange room. So soon Gwen her body was surrounded by her two amazing boys, both laying closely beside her as they seemed to find some more sleep by then. But Gwen her mind was working in overdrive. No more sleep for her.

 

 

 

“Oh wow look at this!”, Kingston’s shout came from the kitchen, soon followed by that perfect country chuckle. Gwen frowned while still descending the stairs, but as soon as she walked in the kitchen, her mouth dropped as well.

“Whoa, Blake”, Gwen mumbled out in awn while walking over at the kitchen table. It was entirely covered by all sorts of breakfasts. All kinds of bread, toppings, a few soft-boiled eggs, a bowl of fruit salad, brioches and chocolate croissants, but also more usual stuff such regular cereal. Blake wanted to walk up to her, wrap his arms around her waist while placing soft kisses on her neck. But he couldn’t. So instead he stayed at the other side of the room, watching how her face brightened up.

“Blake, you know that we’d be happy without all this as well, right?”, She finally made eye contact with him, but yet she didn’t take steps his way either.

“Mom, shh, don’t tell him, this is amazing”, Zuma adorable mumbled, causing Blake to laugh out loud.

“I’ll let you guys eat”, he said, completely ignoring Gwen’s previous words. It pained him how she had no clue of all the goods she deserves. He had to pass her to get out of the kitchen, which he did dangerously close. His body stroking against hers.

“Have you already had breakfast?”, Zuma asked in a high pitched voice. Blake glanced over his shoulder to see the young man blink his brown eyes a few times with a curious look on his face.

“Um—Not yet”, Blake answered while glancing at Gwen for a second before he looked back at her kid.

“Why don’t you eat with us?”, Kingston invited him, as he casually reached out to get a croissant.

Blake’s eyes wandered back off to Gwen, to see what she thought about it. As she simply smiled at him, he took a step back into the room.

“Do you want me to?”, Blake asked, making Kingston and Zuma shrug.

“Of course, why not? This is your house, right?”, Kingston chuckled as if it was the most normal thing to do.

“Yeah, sit with us”, Gwen added by then while she quickly winked at him. He flashed her his dimples before he walked up towards a chair and sat down beside Gwen.

“Are you and Adam always mean to each other?”, Zuma asked all of a sudden, right before he took a bite of his bread. That made Gwen laugh.

“He has been watching the voice for years”, Gwen quickly informed Blake, who was surprised by the question. Blake soon was laughing along as made himself some breakfast as well.

“No we are not”, Blake answered, which caught his attention. “Like we are always teasing each other and being slightly mean, but he’s a very close buddy of mine”, That made Zuma smile happily at him while taking another bite from his bread.

“So you love him?”, Kingston asked on which Blake immediately nodded.

“I do. It’s hard not to if you work side by side for so long already, you know?”, Kingston glanced over at him and Blake got a tiny smile from the sweet boy.

“So he is your favourite to work with on the voice, then?”, Zuma asked, clearly being enthusiastic about the voice.

“I also really liked to work with your mom”, he said as he caught Gwen’s eyes that were already staring. A  small smile appeared on her face, shyly glancing away from him. “She came rocking in those blind auditions, you’ll see”, he added before Zuma opened his mouth again.

“So you love mom, too?”,

Blake started coughing, choking in the piece of croissant he had been chewing on. Gwen’s eyes had widened while immediately throwing them down, not wanting her boys to see her startling.

But aside from Blake’s coughing, she soon heard her oldest let out a few secret laughs as he hid his face with his hand, clearly amused by the situation.

“I think Blake loves every single coach that has been on the voice for over the years, Zuma”, Kingston eventually saved the situation, on which Blake immediately nodded, finally recovered from the piece of croissant that went to his trachea.

“That’s right, Kingston”, he said then, as both Gwen and Blake avoided each other’s eyes for a few seconds. That way they tried to hide the weight of the question from Zuma, but actually they only made things more obvious. Eventually the room filled back up with Zuma and King’s voices talking about some game they played earlier. Blake lifted his eyes from his plate to get a glance of the sight of the beautiful blonde again. She seemed to feel his eyes on her, as only a second later she looked his way as well.

Her brown eyes instantly made a soft smile cover his face, which she returned almost immediately. And with that, they seemed to lighten up the situation as Blake’s smile soon turned into a smirk, causing Gwen’s eyes to start sparkling shyly. And no words we’re needed to feel the butterflies in their chest and to feel the unspoken words fire up their minds.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A silence had fallen over them quite easily. Neither of them felt the need to fill it as well. It was easy and light as the soft spring sun was warm on their faces. When Blake glanced over at the nine year old, he noticed how he had closed his eyes and was leaning back on his hands, enjoying the first sunbeams. It wasn’t really a warm day per se, but just feeling the ray of sunlight falling down on their skin was one of the greatest feelings in this moment. The kid had never taken notice of Blake observing him, as he opened his eyes again a couple seconds later and by then Blake was staring back in front of him. Into the distance with the trees that started off the woods again. But right now they both were sitting on a pier of his lake as Blake was holding a fishing rod, waiting for a fish to bite.

Soon it was Kingston’s turn to stare at the grown up man, very much not aware of King’s gaze on him. Blake seemed such a tall person and Kingston couldn’t help but think that he probably was the strongest man he’d ever seen. Then there also was the way he dressed. It was different and maybe even a bit careless, a loose jeans a size too big and a green flannel shirt. A simple cap on top of his uncontrollable hairs. It surprised King how less Blake seemed to care about other’s their opinion. How he was determined to be himself. And Kingston got all of that just by the way he was dressed.

But the most obvious thing about him was his kindness and patience. Kingston was aware of how little he knew about this man, but for some reason he felt as if he could trust him.

“It’s so quite out here”, Kingston decided to say eventually, leaving Blake nod at him. A few birds singing their songs in combination with the ruffling of some of the trees.

“It is”,

“I like that. Like it’s also quite when we’re home or in our backyard, but it’s different. Less peaceful somehow”, Kingston wisely spoke.

Blake turned his head towards him, to catch his eyes.

“It probably doesn’t make sense”, he said with an insecure chuckle, that reminded him very much about King’s mom. Blake immediately shook his head.

“It makes the most perfect sense to me, buddy”, Blake answered while bringing one of his hands to pet on King’s shoulder. Kingston threw Blake a small smile because of that before they both refocused to look in front of them. A few minutes filled with silence again.

“How long have you been doing the voice?”, Kingston suddenly wondered causing Blake to make a thinking noise.

“Around 4 / 5  years now”,

“Don’t you ever get bored?”,

Blake let out his typical country laugh that was very contagious as Kingston laughed along. Kingston liked his laugh, it sounded cheerful and unique. “Surprisingly, I don’t. It gets more fun every season actually”, he answered while catching the kid’s gaze. “Adam always makes me laugh and now with your mom as a new coach… I can tell you it’s inspiring”,

Kingston nodded once more before he moved to sit a bit straighter up to get a better look at the lake and the fishing rod.

“I like your accent”,

“You do?”

“Yeah. I wish I could speak like that”, He said with an adorable smile, making Blake give him an amused glance.

“Ok let’s see”, Blake mumbled then while squinting his eyes. Kingston frowned at him confused.

“Hi yall”, Blake said, as he nodded to Kingston to repeat him. The kid laughed before he got serious again when he saw Blake smile while raising his eyebrows.

“Hi yall”, he repeated with the most southern accent possible. Blake put his lips tightly on one another as he nodded in approval. Next thing he thought for a more difficult sentence.

“I’m fuller than a thick”, He spoke the following words and Kingston started laughing out loud.

“What?”, he brought out in between his laughter.

“Fuller than a thick”, he repeated as he flashed his dimples at the boy who was still laughing uncontrollably. “It’s a southern saying when you ate way too much”, he explained as he kept his eyes on the boy and enjoyed how the kid was genuinely amused. It warmed Blake’s heart to see the worry in the young boy’s eyes disappear.

“So hi yall, I’m fuller than a thick”, the kid eventually said, overexaggerating with the use of the southern accent. Instantly Blake stated clapping his hands while laughing loudly. Kingston joined in.

“Say _fuller_ one more time”, Blake asked, making Kingston chuckle.

“fffffuler”, the kid repeated, leaving Blake lean back again as he laughed.

“That’s starting to sound like it”, he said making Kingston proudly smile up at the man.,

After that another silence fell over them as King found himself listening to the birds’ whistling again. Somewhere in the distance three bodies appeared and some laughter reached their ears. Gwen, Zuma and Apollo were on the other side of the lake, playing in the woods and laughing with Blake’s dog goofiness. Suddenly she waved then, leaving Blake tilt his hand up and wave back. Kingston doing the same.

“Hey Blake?”, Kingston asked then out of the blue, and Blake hummed. The boy let out a huge sigh before softly facing the cowboy. He wasn’t sure why he had started talking again. Mostly because he wasn’t sure what he should and should not tell him. As Blake felt the hesitation coming from next to him, he moved to look at the boy. He noticed immediately as the kid seemed conflicted about something.

“What’s going on, buddy?”, Blake asked worried, and his concern only grew bigger when King made eye contact. “Whatever it is, you can tell me”, He told him feeling how something seemed to be eating him alive.

“We’re not here just for a vacation, are we?”,

Blake’s heart stopped beating all of a sudden as he wasn’t sure what he should answer. One glance was all Kingston needed to see Blake’s answer in his eyes. He didn’t have to say a word, gladly, because Blake didn’t feel it was his place to talk to her kids about this.

“Mom cried a lot lately”, he admitted to Blake then, as Blake glanced over to the kid from time to time, yet not staring deeply at him. He didn’t want Kingston to feel pushed to put his heart on his sleeve. “Like a few months ago she hadn’t come home for a few days. Mom and dad, they went on a trip out of LA to ‘ _fix some things’_ , mom called it. But then dad came home. Alone”, he took a long pause before he went on.

“When I asked him where mom was, he—He got so _angry_ ”, He said the last word almost in a whisper and his voice sounded confused and hurt. It broke Blake’s heart.

“For a moment there I even thought he was gonna hurt me as he kept on yelling. But out of nowhere, he looked at me directly and something changed. His eyes seemed scared or something and it even frightened me more, you know?”, he asked Blake while shortly glancing at the man who nodded, encouraging him to go on.

“And suddenly he fell down on his knees and took me in his arms… My dad, he took me in his arms and I was scared. So I didn’t ask about mom again. I told Zuma not to either, afraid he’d hurt him… Around two days later mom finally came back home. Not one explanation had been giving to us. But her eyes. Something changed since that day. Nothing ever went back to how things were”, he took a deep breath in and out as Blake noticed how he kept his eyes on his mom every move. He wasn’t sure whether it was to check up on her every second or if it was because he badly needed to avoid Blake’s eyes.

“So you think something happened on their trip?”, Blake asked when he noticed the boy hesitate to go on.

“Yeah”, Kingston sounded devastated as he didn’t dare to look the cowboy in the eye. He hadn’t told anyone about this. Didn’t know how to. Didn’t know who to tell either.

“When was that?”,

“Beginning of October or something”, Kingston answered and that was all Blake needed to know where Gwen had spend the two days that she hadn’t come home to them. And it was with him, in Oklahoma, where he found her ice-cold knocked out, not that far from where the two of them are sitting right now.

“What happened after that?”, Blake asked as he felt that the kid had bottled up even more than anyone could have imagined.

“A few days after she come home that day, that she had ran upstairs, telling us she’d simply go check up on Apollo. And something just felt off. So I followed her upstairs and heard her cry from out of my little brother’s room”, he spoke while coldly staring in front of him. Not a gaze for a kid.

“That was the first time I heard her cry, while she hid it from me. After that she disappeared into my brother’s room quite often, and I know that every time she does, tears were rolling down her cheeks”, he swallowed before catching Blake’s eyes.

“Around Christmas time, I thought that things were getting better again. They weren’t great, mom still looked unhappy, but she didn’t cry any longer. But as soon as the new year started, things got worse again”,

Blake thought about how he had ran into Gwen again at New Years. About how he probably set her world upside down again. He had reminded her about Oklahoma and about what Gavin did to her and whatever more might have happened on that trip that made him hurt her like that. It sickened Blake to think about it.

“Luckily one day she smiled and told us she was going to be on the voice. But as soon as she was on that show, the crying turned from once a week to once a day, eventually to once an hour… I did not know what to do”, he helplessly said. “But another thing changed. Whenever dad started to pick a fight with mom, she used to just let him be. But at some point, I heard that fight in the kitchen. And mom spoke up, she defended herself about --“, he completely shut down, as if he wasn’t sure whether he was allowed to talk about this with Blake, which made him frown. Eventually the kid decided to take a different path.

“She defended herself, she showed him he cannot just push her around. But I heard him raise his voice and stuff so I walked up to the kitchen to find him raising his hand towards my mom. He was actually going to hurt my mom. He was going to bea---“, he stopped to swallow as his eyes slightly had started to fill with tears. “Can you believe he’d do that?”, King asked after clearing his throat.

Blake immediately shook his head. “No I can’t”, he whispered as he saw mental images again of Gwen her wounded body. “He shouldn’t. No matter what happened, you don’t hurt other people. Never.”

Kingston nodded while looking away to stare at his converses. “I agree”, he whispered. “But he was planning to hurt my mom. So don’t tell me that we’re here for vacation. Because I know better. Mom did her best to keep me out of this, but I could not”

“You have been scared a lot, haven’t you?”, Blake asked carefully and softly. The kid lifted his eyes up to meet the man in front of him. He hesitantly nodded, surprisingly admitting all of this to him. And Blake could not handle it any longer. He laid the fishing rod down and pulled an arm around the nine year old. Kingston leaned in as he still tried to fight the tears from falling down.

“I knew you were the second I laid eyes on you”, Blake whispered as he held the kid close to him. Kingston was at first a bit hesitant, but eventually threw one of his arms around Blake’s waist as well.

“So we’re leaving him, right? That’s why we’re here?”, Kingston eventually dared to speak the words. Kingston turned his head to face him and Blake gave him a pitiful smile.

“I know it’s not fair from me to ask you to answer me, but please”, Kingston begged, causing Blake to stare at him for a few second before he eventually gave in and nodded.

“Yeah, buddy, you’re right on it”, Blake spoke causing King to nod as he took the information in.

“Do you trust me, Kingston?”,

“I think so”, he insecurely whispered, on which Blake immediately nodded.

“Good”, Blake stroke his hand over Kingston’s arm trying to comfort him. “I know you and I just recently met. But I need you to let this go. To stop watching your mom every move. To stop trying to look out for your brothers. Instead I need you to be a kid. A nine year old. And I promise you I’ll be the responsible one who will keep you four save. I won’t let anything happen to you”

“I can’t let you make that promise”, Kingston spoke to Blake’s surprise.

“Why not?”,

“Because you like mom”, he brought out. “Don’t you?”, Blake didn’t answer as he just kept his eyes locked with him. “The second you laid eyes on me, you saw my fear. But the second I laid eyes on you, I saw the way you looked at my mom. You actually care for her and want her to be happy. So that is why I told you all of this, why I trust you with all of this”, he added and Blake wasn’t super comfortable right then. But yet he forced himself to look at the kid and show him he was listening.

“So I can’t let you make that promise, because if I do, it would be as if I give you the permission to like my mom… And I don’t”, he was gazing back into the distance again, seeing Apollo run after Betty.

“Okay”, Blake answered as he nodded, trying to follow the brain of a not so regular nine years old.

“It’s not that I don’t like you. I do. But you do understand that this is a lot at once, right? My mom leaving him. Me and my brothers most likely, maybe even hopefully, not seeing him for quite a while and then also you together with my mom”, he brought his nose up and grunted by speaking the last words. Slightly disgusted by all of this. “I’m sorry”, he mumbled out to Blake, just because he was raised a good kid.

“It’s ok to feel that way, Kingston. I understand. And yes, I do like your mom. And whether you like it or not, that is the reason I will be protecting all of you. So no matter if you want me to make that promise or not, I’m still going to do it.    I – won’t – let –anything – happen – to you”, Blake said word by word.

“You’re not gonna abandon us when things get even tougher?”, The way Kingston asked made Blake swallow. So many insecurities and just in so much disbelief. Blake shook his head. “And why should I believe that?”, he asked.

“You have no reason to do so, but it’s true: I won’t leave. So whenever things get too much for you, then just be the nine year old Kingston. I’ll look out for her”, He took the time to breathe for a few seconds before he turned to Kingston again.

“You can leave your worries behind and be a kid for second, I won’t forget about what you said about me liking your mom because of that. I know that you trusting me, isn’t the same as approving me with your mom. And I don’t want or need you to, not now anyways. All I need you to is to be that kid. Don’t sit here fishing with me to look out for them while you can just as well be running behind Betty as well. You know what? I don’t want you here any longer, go play now, Kingston”,

“Ok… but promise me you won’t tell mom about this”, he said after a long moment to think. Blake frowned as he felt a knot form in his stomach, not feeling to great about having to hide something from her. But then he felt how Kingston’s hand grabbed for his arm and softly pulled it. “Please… I don’t want her to worry… please promise”, he asked desperately causing Blake to let out a big sight and eventually nodded.

“Ok, I promise”, Blake spoke out. A few seconds later Kingston pulled himself off of the pier and took a few steps away from Blake. But then he halted and glanced over his shoulder.

“You can call me King by the way”, he said then, making Blake uncontrollably form a soft smile on his face. After that the kid ran off of the pier and made his way towards his family. Gwen her smile grew wider as she suddenly saw her oldest getting closer to her. She felt relieved that he was finally joining in with them again, as she just started to get afraid he’d isolate himself from her. And when King walked over to Betty and started to carelessly pet to dog while laughing happily, somehow she knew that whatever he and Blake had been talking about had something to do with it. So she threw a quick glance over to Blake who was almost too far away to be able to see his facial expressions, but yet she smiled at him.

 

 

 

As the night had fallen , they all had dinner –to Gwen her surprise Blake hadn’t joined them-, and after watching a movie, the usual night routine began. Brushing their teeth, getting in pyjamas and eventually putting them in bed. As Gwen had barely slept the other night, she felt exhausted even though they hadn’t truly done much besides taking a walk in the closest parts of the woods, not even far enough as they mostly had stayed around the nearby lake.

But yet Gwen had felt Blake’s absence in the second part of the day. So when she walked in her room, she checked her phone one last time, as if she expected to see a text from him, even though he had been literally a few rooms away from her the entire time. She considered sending him a text to ask him whether he was awake, but she could here footsteps and a soft noise from music coming from the room besides hers so she knew he wasn’t sleeping just yet.

She shook her head, trying to clear her mind for a second and to not think about him. But it seemed impossible, as when she was brushing her teeth only a few seconds later, she was picturing him behind her already. How he would usually –just as when they were at the voice trailers- he’d be standing right there, his arms around her waist as his head was leaning on her shoulder. His blue eyes staring at her deeply and filled with so much adoration. And from time to time she’d feel his lips softly brush on her skin as his arms tightened her body close towards his.

So somehow she found herself stopping to brush her teeth, as she just stood there in front of the bathroom mirror with her toothbrush in her mouth, staring at herself, imagining his body present behind her. She sighted when she realised how she was very much alone and he hadn’t really been there. She spit into the sink and took some water to clear her mouth with. Within a second she took off her make-up and played her fingers through her hair. She found herself wandering her eyes away from her own reflection towards the door that lead to his and she smiled at herself. So silly, she thought.

So she put her hair up into a high pony tail, but eventually let if fall back down over her shoulders. After that she threw her hair over her back and brushed all of it backwards. She sight as she brought her hands through her hair once again and let it fall down naturally again. Eventually she decided to put it on top of her head in a messy bun. She glanced over at herself, make up less and messy hair, not that super great at all, but she decided not to care.

Instead she just turned the light in the bathroom off and walked over towards Blake’s door. She scrunched for a second as she had placed her hand on the door handle. Why is she so nervous all of a sudden? But instead of doing what she always does and over think, she brought the handle down and by that she was in his room. A few lights were burning, but no sight of Blake. So she took a few steps further into the room and took the time to actually look around.

A picture of RaeLynn and him was hanging on the wall along with one of him and Adam, with some people she didn’t recognize immediately. A soft, country tune was playing in the room that she didn’t recognize.

When after a minute, he still hadn’t made a presence into his room, she decided to walk up towards his bathroom door that was halfway open. She could hear him hum along to the song, which made her giggle.  She could see his bare back towards her as he was wearing a baggy sweatpant again. For a second there, she got nervous about making herself presence, but soon she remember about how he told her that he didn’t need her to knock. So eventually she brought her hand up towards the bathroom door to open it completely.

She sneaked into the room as she walked up behind him. And when she was standing right behind him, she brought her hand up to touch his back. For second he jumped up, but he didn’t even snap his head backwards in shock. No, instead she felt his body react by the touch of her hands and he didn’t move his head her way at all. Instead he let out a deep sight as he moved his hand to pull her arms closer around his waist. He opened his other arm to throw around her body and then finally was able to get a proper look of the woman behind him.

The big smile on Gwen her face, made his heart jump a beat and it even got worse when he felt how her tiny hand travelled their way on his bare skin to eventually link her hand around his waist.

“Hey handsome”, she whispered, causing Blake to lean down, planning to leave a kiss on her front head. But instead, Gwen pulled away and pulled herself up on her toes. Her head tilted his way, giving him a perfect access to kiss her lips instead. So by that movement, he turned her way and placed his hand on her cheek while he leaned his head closer to hers. Blake opened his mouth slightly as he took her lips with his. It was a soft and very domestic kiss, Gwen could barely believe how her heart filled with joy because of it.

After the soft peck on her lips, he took her bottom lip in his once more before he pulled away.

“You’re so pretty”, he said then as he stroke a strand of hair, that had fallen out of her bun, behind her ear. Gwen smiled shyly.

“Are the boys in bed?”, Gwen nodded.

“You’re giving us quite some space, cowboy”, she immediately got off her chest. Blake chuckled by her directness, as he took her hand in his and took her with him out of the bathroom. Instead he leaded them towards his bed as he pulled her with him to sit down.

“Gwen—“, he said, causing Gwen to raise her brows, as she felt how he seemed to start a serious conversation.

“What is it?”, she asked while she threw her legs over his lap, this way she could face him instead of both sitting at the edge of the bed, next to one another.

“I don’t think we should be doing this”, An immediate frown filled with worries and insecurities came to her features, as she softly started to move her legs off of his.

“No don’t do that”, Blake stumbled out immediately while reaching to touch her legs and put them back over his lap. He sighted.

“You know that I like you, don’t ever doubt that. And god knows how badly I want to be touching you 24/7. Hell it even drives me nuts in how my hands seem to be uncontrollably always wanting to be touching you”, he said the last thing slightly frustrated, making Gwen giggle.

“And I’m touching you right now, again”, he said as he rolled his eyes once he realised how he had unconsciously been stroking his hands up and down her leg.

“Look I—I hate to do this, but I think we can’t be like this….yet”, he said while looking directly at Gwen.

“The kids, they are going through so much already and I can’t help but feel bad. A lot of changes are headed their way and maybe we should prevent them from one more”, he said, as Gwen finally started to puzzle what was going on.

“Maybe we should prevent them from us, for now”, he added as speaking the words out loud seemed to hurt him more than he thought would.

“Does this have something to do with that mysterious conversation with Kingston?” she asked, seeming to understand it quite fast as Blake pulled his lips on one another, while scrunching his nose.

“Maybe”, He mumbled, knowing he promised Kingston to not share any details of what they talked about and no matter how badly it innerved him already, he was determined to keep that promise.

“Ok, you wanna talk about it?” She asked while trying to catch his eyes. Once they did, she was the conflict in his eyes and it worried her even more.

“I promised not to and I don’t wanna break that promise because I can’t break his trust, Gwen… I—I’m sorry”,  he rambled and after that he felt how Gwen her legs went away from over his lap, and this time he didn’t stop them from leaving. Instead he saw how she putted her legs under her own body as she stayed silent. Her eyes were burning on him but she did not say a damn word. Not even a tiny one.

“Can you say something?”, he asked while frowning worried, but he barely give her the time to open her mouth. “Because I like you like so much and I don’t want you to think that I’m doing this for any other reason. I’m not lying when I say this will literally be torture because all I want to do right now is reach my arms out and draw you in for a hug but I can’t and I don’t want you to be mad or hurt now because—“

Gwen’s lips suddenly were on his, and he completely froze. Her hands were resting on both his cheeks as Blake felt how Gwen crawled on her knees towards him, and eventually threw one of her legs over his lap to straddle him.

She separated their lips for a second. “I’m not mad, but damn you’re hot when you care about my kids”, she smirked before she took his lips with hers again.

Her arms went around Blake’s neck as she raised her body up on her knees, making sure her chest was pressed against his. Her head was higher up then his that way, leaving him having to tilt his head backwards as she took his lips. It was her tongue that asked for entrance and he opened his lips almost the same second. He could feel how her tongue stroked against his and how the entire room seemed to get dizzy around him. He never knew that another human being could ever make you feel like that. So without thinking about it, he pulled his arms up and placed them on top of her back, drawing her closer to his body. It must’ve been the feeling over her nails stroking over his scruff that brought him back to what he had been saying, as he grunted.

He brought his hands to the side of her back and eventually was able to push himself away from her lips for a couple of seconds.

“Gwen, no”, he whispered slightly out of breathe, as he saw her shake her head because of the words.

“I heard you”, she said then. “I understand you, but just—“, she leaned back closer towards him, her nose touching his. “Just not yet. Just kiss me right now”, she greedily brought out in a gasp as he was the one to tilt his head upwards to get rid of just that small distance. His lips took hers as greedily as she had before. He found himself leaning backwards as soon as their tongues were playing a game again and his hands slowly brought Gwen along with him. His back hit the mattress at one point and he could feel her body laying completely on top of him. Her nails going to softly stroke down from around his neck to trace over his chest. Blake eventually sucked on her bottom lipped and started to gently flip them over as both of them were laying on their side of the mattress now. The movements of her hands on his skin, made his breathing get heavier.

Gwen could feel how Blake’s hands started to lower from on her back to eventually land on her ass that was still just covered by the nightdress she was wearing. He could feel how Gwen grinned as he finally dared to touch her lower than the small of her back and she needed his body closer to hers because of it. In between the deep kisses, he even softly squeezed her ass. Gwen took one of her hands away from his body then, to bring her hand up towards her nightdress and tilt it up a little higher, just above her ass. Blake got the hint as he moved his hands under the clothes and the second his hand touched her warm skin, she let out a soft moan against his lips.

His hand started to trace over her skin, but soon he got distracted by a sudden edginess on her skin there. He soon seemed to puzzle it together as a scratch and allowed his thumb to follow the entire scar. Gwen felt how his hands went from greedy to gentle in that seconds, causing her kisses to do the exact same. Blake separated their lips then as he moved to her jaw line and left a path of kisses towards her neck. He flipped Gwen to lay on top of her back now as he was the one to straddle her this time. He sat a bit more straight up as he moved his hands to the edges of her nightdress. Their eyes were locked on one another as he softly brought the dress up a bit higher, to right under her breasts.  

He leaned down then to softly brush his lips on every mark that was left on her body. A few scratches, a few bruises that were starting to fade… All of them were softly being kissed by Blake’s gentle lips. Gwen felt a single tear roll out of her eye and she felt how it ran down the side of her face.

Blake immediately turned to her, as he used his thumb to stroke the tear away.

“Don’t cry”, he hushed her while placing a kiss right beside her eyes then. “I don’t want you to ever cry again”, he whispered in a calming voice, but that was just it. She wasn’t crying because of the scratches and bruises. She was crying because of how careful and gentle this man is with her. And how he cares so much about her kids already that he even made a decision like that. So instead she felt her body pull together as another tear fell down on her skin. And soon she was crying for real, as the first real sob escape her lips. She immediately brought her hand down from on his chest to hide her face with it.

Blake pulled his arms under her body and pulled her up  towards his body. Her head was soon buried in his chest as he held her close. He kept on making hushing noises as he told her everything was going to be alright.

“I don’t wanna lose you”, she mumbled out to his big surprise. “I can’t”, her breath was warm against his skin and he felt his own eyes getting teary.

“You won’t”, he said determined as he rocked her body. “This is not the end, you know? This is just a needed break”,

“I don’t know how long, Blake”, she said in between her sobs as she eventually decided to face him. So she had tilted her head out of his chest and was locking eyes with him. His hands cupping both her cheeks as his thumbs tried to catch all of her tears. “I don’t know when this will be over, when things will get better. I don’t know when my boys will be ready for another change and – and –“, Blake hushed her again as he eventually brought his index fingers to her lips.

“I told you before and I tell you again. I’ll wait forever for you, Gwen Stefani. I don’t care how long it will take for me to be able to take you on a date, but we’ll have it one day. I’m not giving up till we have that”, Blake said while he kept on stroking his thumb against her skin. “Do you hear me? You’re stuck with me”, With that Gwen nodded, as she thrown herself in his arms.

“Good”, she whispered as he held her close. “I hate you for being so perfect”, she said in his neck, causing Blake to let out a huff. He nuzzled his nose in her neck then, inhaling her shampoo. “No you don’t”, he said then, causing Gwen to let out a small laugh.

“You’re right. I actually like you for it”, and Blake didn’t let it see, but his emotions got the best of him when he finally heard her say out loud that she likes him too. After a few more seconds of feelings each other’s body against each other, Gwen started to move.

“I’m leaving now”, she said then out of the blue as she jumped up from his bed. A confused Blake looked her way, it made her even quickly a little. Eventually a pout formed on his face.

“Don’t forget it was you who brought up the break to start with”, Gwen was able to joke when she saw the pout on his face, causing Blake to chuckle.

“I know, I know. Hurry out of here before I change my mind”, he said as he closed his eyes while laying down on his mattress. So she walked up towards the door and took the door handle to pull the door towards her. She glanced once more to the bed to find Blake in the same position. He couldn’t make himself open his eyes, he couldn’t look at her without touching her. So his eyes stayed close.

“Goodnight”, She whispered in the room, causing a small smile to form on Blake’s lips.

“Sleep tight”, He answered. Almost adding a ‘gorgeous’ or ‘pretty girl’ at the end, but he swallowed it in. They needed to be more formal and a bit more distant from now on. For the kids. And as he repeated that in his head, he could hear the door fall in its lock.


	15. fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait!

When Gwen woke up, with Zuma tugged tightly in her arms, she blinked her eyes a couple of times before they shot open. Coming from behind her door she could hear the laughter of her oldest son followed by that familiar voice. That country accent that warms her entire heart. An immediate smile brightened up her face. Her arms happily tightened around her baby boy as she snuggled up to him closer. But out of nowhere she heard a third voice, followed by an adorable giggle.

Gwen frowned while loosening her arms and getting away from under Zuma’s body, almost immediately when she realised it sounded familiar.

“Get over here!”, she heard that voice shout in laughter and Kingston squealed out. She could hear running feet as Blake started laughing uncontrollably.

Gwen opened the door and walked up towards the stairs. Right down at the stairs, she saw a familiar blonde girl kneeling down while tickling her oldest son. Gwen had to purse her lips together while watching the scene in front of her. She didn’t how to feel, because God her son is having a great time again but at the same time, she felt slightly uncomfortable to face the girl again. After a couple seconds, she started to take a few steps down on the stairs and just by the small thuds of her footsteps, she looked up.

Her face changed from the happy, excited smile towards an uneasy, conflicted frown when her eyes fell on Gwen’s.

“RaeLynn”, Gwen spoke when she finally was at the bottom of the stairs. Her hand ruffled through Kingston’s hairs who smiled up at her. “Hi”, she added while Rae just kept on staring.

“Good morning, mom”, King sounded excited while throwing his arms around her waist. When Blake heard the young man speak those words, he soon appeared in the hallway as well.

“Hi sweet boy”, Gwen instantly said with the biggest smile on her lips. But then she felt Blake’s hand falling on top of her shoulder, as he came from behind her. His thumb stroked over her skin for just a second before pulling his hand back and bringing a cup of tea towards her hand.

“Chamomile, just like you like it”, He said when she was surprised by the sudden mug at her hand. She soon got her senses back as she took a hold of the mug now, her fingers slowly landing on top of his before he let go. She smiled at him shyly.

“Thank you”, After giving him one more beaming glance, she soon returned her gaze to RaeLynn who was carefully watching the both of them exchange some looks.

“It’s good to see you again”, Gwen finally found the words to say, feeling more at ease already with Blake’s attentive presence.

“Yeah, you too”, The girl answered, but yet it wasn’t unnoticeable how she still had a weird frown on her face.

“You’ve met RaeLynn before, mom?”, Kingston asked out of interest while looking up at her with sparkling eyes. Gwen’s gaze looked up to find RaeLynn’s before she nodded at her son.

“Yes I have, a few months back”, She answered him honestly which simply caused him to nod. Luckily no more questions were asked.

 

 

 

 

 

“You don’t have to come along with me inside, you know?”, Blake asked while looking in her brown, bright eyes. She looked away from him to stare doubtfully at the door of the supermarket. It was a rather unknown one, far away from LA, far away from paparazzi, but still. Only one person had to take a picture for everyone to know where she was _hiding_. She shook the thoughts away from her brain. The odds were barely existing and she did not want to stop living her life. Like she can’t hide forever in the woods of Oklahoma until the police let them know more news. No, she can’t let _him_ define her life like that. Not any longer.

“But I want to”, she answered him a couple seconds later while curling the corner of her lips up. Her hands went up to lift the hoodie of her sweater over her head while raising her eyebrows at him in a mysterious way. Blake chuckled while shaking his head at her silliness.

Eventually they got out of the car and walked into the deserted supermarket. A friendly woman behind the cash register smiled at the two people walking into her shop, not really seeming to give it a second thought about who just walked in, while she focused on helping the person in front of her. One of the little people that were in the shop, actually. Gwen didn’t really look up at anything, as she kept her gaze mostly on her converses, making sure not to make unnecessary eye contact with one of the customers.

“Grace?”, Blake asked out of the blue, leaving her look up at him surprised. It took a couple of seconds until she realised that avoiding each other’s name would be to play it extra save. But nevertheless that one specific name will always give her butterflies in her stomach. So she walked up to him and leaned her body against his. Slowly tilting her body up on her tip toes she whispered in his ear:

“I like it when you call me that”, she pulled back and gave him a small wink as he immediately was grinning her way.

“What kind of food do your kids like?”, he asked then while he soon took a step away from her, reminding himself of the conversation he had had with her oldest son. If she wasn’t craving his touch that much, she might’ve actually thought it was cute.

“They literally eat anything”, she answered while taking the lead into the hallways this time.

“What is Zuma’s favourite meal?”, Gwen heard the country accent ask her, which made a smile appear on her features. Blake had bounded with Apollo on the voice set already and Kingston somehow had trusted him with certain things quite easily as well.  But Zuma was a tougher scenario. The kid was very sweet and caring, but he didn’t let people in that easily. He also was way more quite as he usually spends his time by reading by himself. Blake always loved quiet kids just as much as he loved the ones that no matter what hour they still find energy to play.

Blake did have a special interest in Zuma and his quiet mind. Just because it’s difficult to get a insight in whatever’s going on in there. What he thinks, what he wants to do or just even what he wants to eat.

“Anything that is chicken related, really…”, She chuckled while glancing over at her cowboy who seemed to be thinking hardly about what to make them for dinner.

“Chicken related…”, he mumbled then to himself as he went through his brain to find some special meal with chicken to win the kid over. Something Zuma might have never eaten before and that would totally blow the kid’s mind. After around ten seconds he noticed how Gwen was staring at him with loving eyes and a small, content smile.

“What is it?”,Blake asked with a smirk by seeing that exact stare of that very special woman. She giggled and afterwards shrugged.

“Nothing. It’s crazy how you don’t have any idea of how adorable you are sometimes”,

That made him blush while throwing his eyes away from hers. He can’t believe that a woman like Gwen Stefani just told him he’s cute. I mean look at her? How in hell does a woman as perfect and beautiful think of a man like him as adorable, Blake thought. His brain got interrupted by beaming laughter of Gwen who shook her head at him in disbelief.

“You know, that right there”, she said while waving her hand in circles pointing at just him. “That was even one of the most adorable things ever”, With that Blake chuckled as well while taking a couple of steps her way.

“If one of us is cute, I’m sure it’s you”, Blake shyly said while passing her body. Gwen laughed along while taking a hold of Blake’s arm and hooking one of her hands around his biceps as she followed him through the hallways.

But when Gwen her eyes eventually went away from Blake’s beautiful dimples and when she had started to loosen his arm, she glanced right in front of her.

Somehow she saw a man passing at the end of the hallway. At first his face was at the other direction, but at one point he looked right at them. Her heart stopped beating as she had to gasp for air. Those eyes. Burning a hole through her soul, accompanied by that evil smirk on his face. Brown curly hair. Black leather jacket.

Her hands immediately tightened back at Blake’s arm causing him to look away from the shelves. Once she was the one he was looking at again, he saw the panic in her eyes.

“Gwen?”, he whispered underneath his breathe as she kept staring right in front of her. He turned his body completely towards hers now and landed both of his hands on top of her shoulders. “Grace?”, he tried but not even that seemed to get through to her as instead her breathing started to get heavier. So he quickly glanced over at the end of the hallway, to search for any reason of her shaking reaction. But nothing. So he glanced back her way, this time moving one of his hands up towards her neck.

“Baby?”, she heard that country accent whisper and the worry in his voice broke through to her. Also him calling her that was something that would always get her attention. She got out of that bubble, tearing her eyes away from that smirking face to quickly look in the cowboy’s eyes. Just a second, to find them so heavenly  blue but with an expression filled with concern. After that she immediately threw her eyes back to the end of the hallway to see nobody there. Not any longer anyway, she thought.

It was only then that she could feel her heart pounding inside her chest as she opened her mouth to finally gasp for air. His hand was still laying on the skin of her neck and the slow circling movement of his thumb started to calm her breathing down.

His hand on her neck eventually pulled her body closer to his, as by the end, the side of her head came to rest on top of his beating heart. She could hear it heavily bounce with worry for her and she tried to clear her mind.

Searching for affection and for safety, she threw her arms around his back, taking deep breathes in and inhaling his scent that comforted her.

“What just happened?”, Blake carefully asked while softly stroking his hand through her hair now. She could feel her heartbeat starting to get back to normal as she kept on repeating to herself that what she saw wasn’t real. _He wasn’t here. He couldn’t be. He wasn’t here. He’s trying to get into your brain, don’t let him._

“Let’s just get out of here as fast as possible, ok?”, Gwen finally said, avoiding to answer him directly as she slowly started to let go of his body.

“If you want, you can go back to the car already, I’ll be quick”, he offered but without any hesitation she shook her head determined.

“No don’t… don’t leave my side”,

Blake nodded as he felt her move away from out of his embrace, still throwing a few glances to the end of that hallway. Eventually she closed her eyes and turned her back to it. That gave Blake a chance to look over there a second time. Still no one to be seen. Not a single soul. And God did he feel worried. So when she started walking through the hallway again a bit doubtful, he reached his hand out to grab hers, almost out of reflex.

He took a decent grip on her tiny hand, causing her to feel safer already. “I’m right here”, he whispered causing her to squeeze his hand. “Always”, he added causing her to look up at him.

“I know”, he felt relieved to hear her say those words as in top speed they got the last ingredients for a certain chicken stew he had come up with.

Not until they were right in front of the cash register and he had to take his wallet out, he hadn’t let go of Gwen’s hand. It had helped, as he noticed that whatever she thought she might’ve seen or whatever made her panic that much, she eventually had stopped looking around her to find it again.

When they reached the car and she was sitting in the car beside her cowboy, he did see the last relief fall from her chest as she tried to relax completely now. Her head leaning back against the car seat as she closed her eyes.

“What happened?”, Blake’s voice asked confused and worried. She blindly threw her hand his way and it ended up falling on his upper leg.

“I am so sorry”, she whispered slightly ashamed and not quite sure what she should tell him. _My ex-husband is haunting me inside my brain._

“I don’t want you to ever apologize for something like this”, Blake spoke and she could feel his hand lay down on top of hers on his lap. His fingers interlaced with hers before she tilted her head and opened her eyes again.

“I just—I just got a bad memory running through my brain all of a sudden, I don’t know, Blake…”, she whispered unsurely and Blake knew it wasn’t the whole truth. But he also knew that whenever she’s ready to talk about it, that she will. So he just nodded.

“But you kept on staring at the end of the hallway—“ , he began softly, trying to see whether she just needed a small push to speak up. “No one was there but us”, she realised how he was chosing his words carefully and wisely, not wanting to upset her in any kind of way and it made her like him even more for it.

“I know, baby, I guess I’m just tired”, she mumbled while leaning her temple against the window of his car with her eyes closed. Blake smiled, he had never heard her call him ‘baby’ before and his smile grew even wider when he noticed how she was totally clueless. It had come out so natural and smooth.

To start the engine up, he had to let go of her hand and she reluctantly let her hand fall back down on top of her own leg. She tried to organize her thoughts as she was sitting down with her eyes closed. Just when the image of a mean and evil looking Gavin shoot back through her mind, she felt Blake’s hand on top of hers.

Instead of her starting to frown now, a smile came to her face to feel his hand falling in hers as he was driving the car. She blinked her eyes open for just a second, the image of Gavin disappearing, and instead seeing the wavy haired man in front of her with a ranch hat on top of his scalp. His eyes were fixed on the road as he didn’t seem to notice that her eyes had opened and how she was secretly checking him out.

She smiled before closing her eyes again, this time with the image of this handsome man right on her mind.

 

 

 

“You know what Blake’s making all of us for dinner tonight?”, Gwen said while softly massaging one of Zuma’s feet as his legs thrown over her lap.

He looked up from the harry potter book to curiously glance at his mom. “No…”, he stumbled out then while looking at her expectantly.

“Chicken”, Gwen told him while raising her eyebrows in the air a few times.

“What kind of chicken?”, he asked totally enthusiastically the same second, making Gwen smile at him.

“I don’t know Zum… he told me it was a special recipe, so maybe you should go check it out”, she casually tried, knowing that he always needs a small push to talk to people he doesn’t really know. Gwen saw how the chicken –and just food in general- caught his attention for a while and how he was considering to follow his mom’s advice. But soon he hid his gaze behind the book again. Gwen crunched her nose up as she realised her little bounding plan just wasn’t working yet. But she didn’t want to push him either so she stayed quiet.

After a couple more minutes of Gwen thinking back on what had happened in the supermarket and glancing over at Kingston playing with Apollo in the backyard, she heard Blake walk in the living room.

“So I heard there is this professional chicken taster in this room”, he spoke, which made Zuma smile at him while glancing at him from behind his book. Blake didn’t even hid the fact that he was directly talking about Zuma as he was looking at the kind with a slightly tilted head. Meanwhile Gwen could feel his hand lean in to the upper part of the couch, right behind her head. So she threw her head back to get a glance of that handsome cowboy.

When he noticed her head lean backwards his eyes met hers as instantly his dimples popped out for her.

“You wanna come taste whether I spiced it enough?”, Blake asked. Kingston he glanced over at his mom insecurely, who obviously nodded that if he’d ask her that she wouldn’t doubt. So he glanced back over at Blake and started to form a smile on his face.

“Yeah sure”, he adorably said while putting the book down on the living room table. He soon started to make his way towards the kitchen as only a second later he had passed him by already. Blake chuckled by the kids enthusiasm before throwing Gwen one more glance, as she was still looking upwards at him, with her head thrown back.

Out of pure reflex, he closed the distance and leaned his body against the big of the couch. His dimples showed once more as he reached his hand out to softly touch Gwen’s cheek. His finger softly caressed over her soft skin, as her eyes closed happily. But only a second later his hand disappeared as she could hear his footsteps walk away from her.  Soon his country voice followed as he was telling Zuma that he had to be super honest. And that he wanted him to tell him what other spices he wanted. Zuma immediately had started laughing while saying he had no idea what spices would be a good idea to add.

Quickly Gwen glanced over her shoulder then, to just in time notice Blake shrug with a laugh.

“If the combination of spices you chose won’t be good at the end, then we’ll just tell the other’s that I messed up. It will be our little secret”, Gwen smiled at the cowboy’s words while she decided to lay down for a couple of minutes. After a while she hears someone walk into the room, coming from outside and a thud followed as someone had taken a seat on the other couch.

So Gwen shot her eyes open and tilted her head to look up at the couch. RaeLynn was sitting on the edge of it, simply staring at Gwen. Her eyes seemed cold.  

Gwen felt a bit uncomfortable because of it as she pulled herself up on the couch and smile at the young girl in front of her. But she didn’t smile back.

“I’m not sure what I think of you”, she said then out of the blue, with a perplexed voice and a frown.

“I understand”, Gwen answered instantly.

“You know I liked you, right? I thought finding you in those woods was meant to be. That you and Blake were meant to be somehow”, she said, and Gwen let her talk. “But then you ran. And then you ran a second time… but yet now you’re here”,

Gwen nodded letting the girl know she was listening. For a couple of seconds they stayed quiet and eventually Rae sighed.

“What do you want from Blake?”, she asked while trying to get through to Gwen’s brain.

“Nothing”, Gwen brought out the very same second, not giving RaeLynn a second to doubt it. “I get that you’re not fond of me, but I just want to apologize. I haven’t had the chance to”, she added which caused RaeLynn to roll her eyes.

“Yes you did. You only had to ask Blake for my number, or add me on any social media or anything. But that’s not even what bothers me to be honest”, RaeLynn sighed once again as she shook her head slightly.

“Do you even have any idea how badly you hurt him?”, she asked and Gwen had to swallow. She looked away from the girl, maybe out of embarrassment, she wasn’t sure.

“The first time you left, he went looking all over Tishomingo to see if you still were around, thinking you just simply did no longer want to be a bother, after a while he even started to think something had happened to you! After three days he finally started to realise that you probably just jumped on a plane and he was never gonna see you again. He was devastated. Then he meets a wonderful girl named Anna, and then out of nowhere I get a call from him. Telling me that Grace actually is a famous rock and roll star named Gwen Stefani…. It was stupid actually”, she said then while letting out a bitter chuckle.

“I must have known, because you always seemed so familiar you know? And my parents always listened to your music when I grew up. But my bad, I didn’t recognize you. Then if It hadn’t been enough that you had broke this wonderful man’s heart one time, you broke it a second time. So he decided to leave you behind and move on with Anna and then BAM. There you are again, as a colleague on his job”, RaeLynn rambled. But she was being honest and Gwen could not appreciated that more. Honesty is the thing she appreciates the most in a person after all.

“And somehow he gave up a wonderful girl who could have given him a wonderful life to be with _you_. So what is it about you?”, she wondered out loud while Gwen finally found the courage again to look RaeLynn in the eye.

“Just because of that, because of Blake’s feelings for you, I know that deep down there must be something about you. Something sweet and caring, like you do for your kids. So here’s something: If you ever break this man’s heart again, I’ll detest you and I’ll make sure you’ll never be able to do it again. You are aware of how much he means to me right?”, she gave Gwen the time to nod.

“I love him. He’s family. Believe you don’t want to have a fight with me, sweetie. One last chance, Gwen Stefani… One last chance”, she repeated before she was about to pull herself up from the couch. Only a few steps later, Gwen found the ability to speak again.

“I never wanted to break his heart, you know? I know it’s hard to believe but I care about him so much”, The girl had started to walk back towards the backyard but those words had made her stop right in her tracks. With one glance over her shoulder, she tried to see right through Gwen. To hopefully find honesty and hurt in it. Hurt, because she was reminded to how she had make a man like Blake suffer, while all he did was open his heart.

“You ask me what I want from Blake, right?”, Gwen spoke out of the blue, causing Rae to nod hesitant.

“I want love. Not just any love, but his love….”, she swallowed and caught the young woman’s eyes. “I love him, RaeLynn”, she whispered causing RaeLynn’s frown to increase even more. The two women shared an intense look, before RaeLynn eventually nodded. Gwen her heart in the meantime had been pounding again, just because she knows how much this girl means to Blake. How he called her his daughter he never had. So she needs to fix this, she needs to prove that she’s gonna do Blake right from now on. So no matter what it takes, she’ll prove herself.

To Gwen’s surprise, RaeLynn had nodded and she smiled softly.

“Good”, was all she said before another silence fell over them. “Don’t wait too long to tell him that”, RaeLynn said then as she had seen and heard the hesitation but sincereness in Gwen’s voice, very much indicating she hadn’t even dared to admit that she loves him out loud to herself. The fear and nerves in Gwen’s eyes, made RaeLynn smirk.

“He’s an open guy”, Gwen heard her say out of nowhere, so she found her eyes again. “Blake, he’s extravert,  until it gets personal. So if you doubt if he feels the same about you, then just remember that he did not just open this house for you, but just as much he opened his heart. Once he cares, he cares deeply”,

The expression on Rae’s face had completely changed into something so soft and sweet, and all Gwen could do was nod gratefully at her words.

“I’ll keep that in mind”, Gwen whispered while glancing over at the kitchen and seeing that one cowboy throw his head back in laughter at whatever her kid just said. Her entire body started to fire up because of of it as she felt her heart skip a beat inside her chest. God she was smitten.

 

 

 

 

She knocked. 

"Come in", was the next thing she heard and so she did. He was laying in bed, under the covers with a book in his hands. Gwen read the title of it and she had to purse her lips together. Her body leaned on the doorframe, even resting the side of her head against it. 

"I just wanted to come say goodnight", she said then, causing him to throw her a tiny, warm smile before letting the book fall down on top of his lap. She was all he had eyes for in that moment as he rested his head against the wall behind him. A soft sigh came from him as he just kept on staring at those sparkling brown eyes of hers. Gwen wasn't sure if it was a happy sigh or more a sigh out of frustration that the gap between them was killing him. Nevertheless, she chuckled. 

As her original plan was to play it safe and don't take a single step into his room, she immediately failed it. A few steps later she was leaning her body down to sit on top of his bed. Her legs crossed, as she was basically sitting in front of him at the other side of the bed. She reached her arm entirely out now towards his lap to get the book. She tilted it up slightly and smiled.

"Harry Potter, hah?", She smiled, still holding the book while Blake laughed.

"Yeah, Zuma ordered me to read it once I told him I hadn't read a single one of them", Blake chuckled.

"Oh wow, so he actually borrowed you his book? That's quite something, he only trust a few with his books", Gwen spoke but as she was still leaning in that way, Blake got some extra access to see some more of her skin leading towards her breasts.  He chuckled as he closed his eyes, not wanting to get distracted.

"Yeah well he did give me a lot of rules before he actually gave it to me",

At first Gwen had frowned by his sudden huf and seeing his eyes closed, but as soon she realised what was going on, she let out a giggle while letting go of the book and pushing herself up on her knees instead. Her hand fell down on top of his blankets instead, leading towards his legs. His eyes shot open once he felt her hand move up towards his stomach.

His eyes followed the movements of her hands as she slowely made her way over his t-shirt, to eventually attach her arms around his neck. Her entire body was basically leaning on top of him as she started to move her legs to crawl on top of him. He chuckled while shaking his head. _Don't do it.  Don't kiss her right now._

"So your chicken totally impressed him. All three of them are crazy about you by now", she said nonchalant, trying to act as if she wasn't playing a game to test his limits. His strong hands had taken a hold of her tights as his dimples popped up. Soflty he started to move his hand a little lower to rest on top of her bottom. As he pushed her even closer towards him, so that her breasts were  pressed against his chest now, as he leaned in and nuzzled his nose in her neck. 

"What about you?", he whispered teasily on her neck. "Are you crazy about me as well?", he added in a sexy drawl, causing her heart to stop. Both of them were very well aware that the game just changed and that Blake was in controll by now. 

"What would you do if I told you I was?", she told him right back, while lifting her arm up towards his neck to stroke her fingers through his hair and to keep his head right where it was. 

"Well, _sweetheart_ ", he whispered while she could feel the top of his nose trace over her skin as he moved up to whisper in her ear. "I'd tell you....", he paused. "to go to bed", he said then still in his seductive way, causing Gwen to pull back and look at him with an open mouth. 

A loud laugh came out of his mouth. 

"You're hot and God I want you, but really? You think it would be this easy for me to give in already?", Blake laughed as Gwen kept on staring at him with an open mouth as an amused smile came on her face right now.

"I'm not an animal, Gwen, I won't jump you just because I want to", that made Gwen laugh out loud.

"Oh you're playing it very dirty right now", Gwen said in disbelief of how he just played her.

"If you're not playing by the book, then so won't I", he said causing Gwen to nod. 

"Ok cowboy, I see. Game on", she said while raising her brows and jumping off of his lap. A huge grin were on both of their faces as Gwen started to take a few steps backwards, away from him.

"You'll regret starting this, _sweetheart_ ", she imitated the way he had used the word before, causing Blake to throw his head back while laughing. She started to walk up towards the door and right before she left him in the room alone, he grinend and said:

"I bet I will", while giving her a small wink. 


	16. sixteen

Blake grunted when he felt a tickling on his biceps. He shifted his arm a bit up and down, thinking that it might be a fly or whatever, but as he did so, a soft giggle filled the room. He frowned his brows the first second, but when his brain started to wake up, he immediately recognized the adorable laughter. The corners of his mouth curled up as he grunted once more.

Her long finger nails were still softly tracing over his arm and he couldn’t believe how his entire body was waking up so fast by it.

Blake tried to open his eyes then, but the first rays of sunlight were shining right on him. With his wincing faces, Gwen started to giggle even more.

“I’m still not planning on kissing you or whatever you might have in mind”,

 It was the very first thing Blake said and Gwen immediately burst out in laughter. Not only because of the message but even more because of how he was barely understandable with the thickness of his southern accent right now.

“That’s not why I’m here, actually”, Gwen said then, causing Blake to open one single eye out of curiosity. A brighter smile grew on Gwen’s lips and it’s then that Blake realised how she was only sitting up on the edge of his bed, not even trying to come lay down with him. He was disappointed and relieved at the same time.

“Tell me”, Blake said while stretching his arms out in front of him.

“The police called half an hour ago”,

Blake’s eyes immediately shot open and he felt wide awake right away. He sat up the same second and looked at her with expecting eyes. She couldn’t help but let out a small laugh by his reaction.

“They took him in for interrogation yesterday”,

“That’s good, right?”, Blake asked causing Gwen to nod.

“He also tried to break in to Todd’s house because he probably thought that he wasn’t opening the door because I was in there”, Gwen chuckled, while she knew that in reality they all had planned for her parents and Todd’s family to be out of town this holiday. She needed to be sure they were safe as well.  

“One of neighbours called the police”, Gwen added.

“Well one more complaint against him”, Blake said, trying to see the good side of it. So Gwen nodded, he was right. Gavin was only making things worse for himself, and he obviously had no idea where she was in reality. The cowboy immediately threw her a warm smile. Almost immediately he threw an arm around Gwen her neck and pulled her closer towards his body. He inhaled her scent while he could feel Gwen her head burry inside of his chest.

“Hopefully the police will take it all serious though”, Gwen mumbled and with soft, soothening circles on her back, she got rid of her worries.

“They will”, Blake said as he  leaned out of her embrace to smile at her. Her chin rested on top of his chest while her eyes were right on his. Their lips were only a few inches away and God he felt the need to kiss her now. To get rid of that worry he found in her eyes. To let her know she wasn’t alone in this. To make sure she knew they’ll get passed all of this one day, together.  But he shook the thought of his lips on hers  out of his mind, knowing it wasn’t an option.

Instead he pulled her body along with his, falling down on the mattress. They laid both on their side, at a reasonable distance, facing one another. Blake’s hand went up towards her face to stroke a strand of hair behind her ear.

“What’s on your mind?”,

“He must be so angry right now”, Gwen whispered, causing Blake to simply give her a short pitiful smile. “I mean he must have been when he found out about me taking the kids with me… but now that an actual file is running against him…”

“Hey hey”, Blake said while placing his hand on top of her cheek, stroking his thumb over her skin. “You’re safe here. All four of you”,

Gwen nodded. “I know, but one day we’ll have to go back there. The boys have to go back to school and we’ll have to be at the voice… and he’ll still be around”, she swallowed while shaking her head forcefully.

“I took away his family. He hates me now more than ever. And if you think about what he already did to me while he still told me he loved me…  I can’t imagine what he’ll do now that he hates me. Or even worse what he’d do to you”, Gwen rambled while reaching her hand out to touch his chest.

“By then he’ll have a restraining order and the process for full custody is running. Give it some time and things will work out”,

“But tell me Blake, if it was you… if I’d take your kids away from you, if I’m the one who totally turned your world upside down and left you with nothing… Then would a restraining order hold you back?”,

If there’s one thing Gwen knew from second she laid eyes on Blake, it was that he had no ability to lie at all. So the way he swallowed while searching for words, made her lose a small part of her hope to get out of this as one happy family.

The next thing Gwen felt was his strong arms wrapped around her body.

“We’ll find a way to make this work”, he said causing Gwen to nod in his chest.

“I know”, she whispered, because she knew he believed it. But the longer she thought about it, the more and more the desperation started to shine through.

“No really. I’ll find a way to keep you safe, I promise”, Gwen smiled at him and nodded. She placed a kiss on top of his cheek, dangerously close to his lips, right before throwing her arms around his neck.

“We need to tell the boys though, soon”, Blake whispered and Gwen knew he was right.

“Yeah, but not today”, She mumbled. A little after that she buried her face in his shoulder as he held her. Hey eyes closed as she enjoyed the warmth of his tight embrace.

 

 

 

The next time she opened them again, it was because her body had been slightly shivering. Her eyes blinked open and found herself in her own bed again, sadly enough without Blake’s company. That made her pout while she let her body fall from her side to lay on her back. Her arm landed behind her head as she kept her eyes focused on the ceiling. A sigh filled the room.

Disappointed that she didn’t have the opportunity to wake up next to Blake, but yet also thankful about how he already putted her kids in front of himself the entire time. That made her smile softly. She was sure God send him to save her. Maybe she deserved him after all that she been through. But then there was Gavin, and how she was scared for him and for her boys.

But that wasn’t the only thing that was nagging her. There was also the conversation with RaeLynn that kept on replaying through her mind. Gwen traced her eyes away from the ceiling and rolled to her side again. Her knees were brought up to her chest as she was hugging them tight now. All rolled up in a ball she kept replaying the girls words in her mind.

_“Do you even have any idea how badly you hurt him” “He was devastated” “if It hadn’t been enough that you had broke this wonderful man’s heart one time, you broke it a second time.” …..  “What is it about you?”_

Of course she knew Blake wasn’t pleased with her when she finally met him again on the voice. Naturally she was aware that she had annoyed him at some level by running away in Oklahoma, by not returning his e-mails… But up to yesterday she had always imagined how angry he must’ve been at her, not even minding to give it a second thought that he felt rather hurt then mad That instead of being pissed off, he was worried and broken down because of her.

She hated that she did that to him…. _So w_ _hat is it about me_ , Gwen wondered now as well.

After spinning and turning around in her bed a few more times, trying to erase the image of a broken Blake out of her mind, she heard her doorknob open. Her eyes stayed closed because honestly, she had expected Zuma earlier. He had sneaked into her room every time since they got here, so why not this night, right? So only after a couple more seconds she opened her eyes.

She immediately brought her head up when not her sweet boy was standing in front of her, but instead the very large cowboy was. He was holding a tray with food as he titled his head towards the way her face was slightly turned.

“I made you some breakfast”, he said softly, keeping his voice down as he carefully placed the tray on top of the bed sheets. A surprised smile was brightening up Gwen’s still sleepy eyes while she started to softly push herself to sit up against the back of the bed.

“Wow, Blake”, she mumbled in awe while she glanced over at the food. Without even realising it, she bit her lip slightly as she started to get hungry at the sight of the amazing breakfast. He made her toast with some scrambled eggs, fruit salad, croissants and fruit juice, and one more thing.

“You bought an avocado?”, Gwen said with the biggest grin on her face and Blake proudly nodded while raising his eyebrows. Once at one of the voice breaks she remembers telling him how she was addicted to it, as he replied he had never eaten it before. Of course Gwen was all shocked and had told him she’d buy him one for his birthday, causing him to throw his head back in laughter.

“I did have to look it up on the internet what I had to do with it”, he chuckled. “Like how do you eat such a weird thing?”, That made Gwen laugh out loud while she shook her head in disbelief.

“Thank you so much”, Gwen said while she petted her hand on the bed next to her. Blake smiled as he walked over to the other side of the bed and crawled to sit right next to her. His eyes were watching her every movie and he saw how she immediately reached for the bowl with pieces of spiced avocado in it.

“You have to try this”, she spoke while she poked her fork into a piece and leaded it towards him. Without any further comment Blake opened his mouth and let Gwen feet him a bite of the avocado. Out of curiosity Gwen lifted her brows as she watched him chewing a few seconds.

“Good, right?”, She brought out enthusiastic, causing him to nod instantly.

“It’s amazing”, he answered, more talking about his company than about the actual avocado, which wasn’t bad but was far from greatest thing he had ever eaten as well.

Gwen blushed as she was very well aware he was more talking about her than the food, so instead of making it unnecessary awkward, she started to focus on moving the tray to in between them.

“I don’t remember the last time I had breakfast in bed, really”, Gwen told him while she had crawled to sit forward with her back his way for a couple of seconds, reaching over to get a hold of a toast with crumbled eggs on it. It pained Blake to hear her admit such a thing to him, because if it was up to him, he’d make her breakfast every single day.

“Prepare for it to happen more often then”, Blake answered while he casually leaned forward and softly caressed her hairs that were hanging over one of her shoulders towards her back now. His hand softly stroke down over her arm as he leaned in and quickly placed a kiss on the bottom of her neck.

Gwen’s eyes had already widened when she felt his fingers move her hair, and she could feel her heartbeat fasten. But the moment she casually felt his lips brush against her skin, she decided to close her eyes, not wanting to destroy the moment by him seeing the surprise on her face.

 “You’re too good to me”, Gwen said while facing him and she only now realised now how very close he actually was as his body had started to lean in against hers even more while reaching to get some orange juice. His stubbly cheek was only a few inches away from the top of her nose and she couldn’t help but smile. If he could brush his lips on her skin, so could she. So she closed that very small distance between them and in a quick movement she had placed her lips on his stubble.

In surprise he turned his head to look at her but by his sudden act he almost spilled the orange juice all over the bed. But just in time he refound his senses and putted the orange juice back down on the tray as he chuckled clumsily. Gwen giggled as she laughed with how adorable he got.

But even though that him being clumsy was his perfect ticket out of any step going too far, he couldn’t help himself. His head turned to find her brown eyes again, still so close to him. His nose was almost touching hers and he could feel her breath on his skin. Hesitantly he brought his hand up to cup her cheek. His eyes fell down on top of her lips as Gwen could feel how his thumb gently traced over her upper lip. In a few seconds he slowly locked on her eyes again and he instantly felt a shiver ran through his body. An uncontrollable smile formed on his face causing Gwen to giggle as she looked down, faintly moving her face over his hand.

“I swear I could stare at you for days straight”, he sweetly said then causing Gwen to chuckle while shyly finding his eyes again.

“I haven’t brushed my hair and I don’t even wear any make up, I must look…” _like_ _a_ _mess_

“… absolutely stunning”, he interrupted her, causing her to smile. “You’re so ridiculously gorgeous, it’s unbelievable”, He nuzzled his nose against hers then, making Gwen let out a laugh.

“What did I do to deserve you?”, Gwen asked seriously now, slightly tilting her head away from his.

“You deserve the world”, he said while stroking his thumb over her soft skin a few more times until he saw a smile come back to her face. It’s then that his hand left her cheek and he pulled himself forward again while taking a hold of the orange juice a second time.

“Can I do you a favour with a glass of orange juice?”, he asked. But Gwen barely heard what he said as she was staring at the cowboy’s back. After a few seconds of complete silence, Blake looked over his shoulder to find her gaze right on him.

“Gwen?”, he asked with a chuckle as he returned his gaze soon to the orange juice. When he still didn’t get an answer he actually turned around to give her a proper look. “Gwenny Grace, you ok?”

Gwen smiled. “Yeah, yeah, I’m sorry”, she mumbled while he returned her smile.

“It’s ok, don’t apologize, instead tell me if you want some orange juice”, he gave her a small wink as he was about to turn his head again. But she placed her hand on top of his biceps instead. He gave her a questioning look as he smiled sweetly.

“No really… _I’m sorry_ ”, Gwen’s voice shined through the room making Blake turn her way confused.

“What are you sorry about?”, he asked with a concerned voice as he watched Gwen shrug her shoulder.

“All of it”, She said while sighing. Blake frowned as put the orange juice down again and fully turned around to focus all of his attention on her.

“Hey, where is this coming from?”, he asked worried as Gwen just shook her head.

“Nowhere, I just—“, she stopped, feeling a lump in her throat.

“Darlin’ I decided to be involved in this and I will never ever regret it, so don’t apologize”, he said causing Gwen to shake her head once again.

“No”, she stumbled out again. “I know you don’t want me to apologize for that… But I’m sorry that I broke this”, she said then, while seeing the frown on Blake’s face. But it only became clear when she doubtfully brought her hand up to place it on top of his beating heart. Blake’s eyes followed her hand and she could feel his heart raising once he started to realise what this was about.

“I am sorry for kissing you and running away. I’m sorry for making you worried that something had happened to me right then. I am sorry you had to found out that I’m the Gwen Stefani. I am sorry that I told you not to be a stranger but then never e-mailed you back, I am sorry that I came on the voice without your permission. I am sorry that you left a perfect girlfriend just to take care of a broken soul like me. I am so sorry”, Gwen rambled with a shaking voice as she could feel Blake’s heartbeat pound faster inside of his chest.

“Gwen… you’re not just a broken soul”, he whispered while swallowing. He brought his hand over hers on top of his heart.

“No I’m not done”, Gwen interrupted him, as she interlaced her fingers with his now and brought both of their hands over to her heart instead. “I need you to know that even though I feel sorry that I cannot be just your Grace, I want you to know that I’d never change a thing. Because for once in my life I’m going to be selfish and chose me first. Because right now, this heart, right here, it is beating just for you. And you choosing me after all the things I did to you, after I broke your fragile heart more than once, I realise what a privilege it is for you to want me here. And I want you to know that I will never ever take you for granted.”

Somewhere in the whole speech, Blake had started to form a small smile on his face while he frowned at her.

“Grace, babe”, he said then out of the blue. “You think that I didn’t know all of that?”, he asked while tilting his head.

“I do… I know why you had to leave and why you couldn’t answer my e-mails.  You were looking out for everyone but yourself. So again: don’t apologize. Yes I was hurt and my heart has been broken, but look at you. I’m not the strong one here, Gwen… you are. You allowed me in. You let me help you. You—“

“I chose you”, she interrupted him, causing Blake to nod with a smile.

“You chose me”,  he repeated almost in complete disbelief, because it already has been one hell of a ride. Blake saw her bit her lip nervously and damn she was even more irresistible than before.

“So what is about me?”, she asked insecurely. Knowing that he’s one in a million for still wanting her the way he does. His eyes locked with hers as he frowned.

“I asked myself that question so many times”, Blake answered honestly. “Ever since I met you I haven’t been able to get you of my mind, it started to drive me nuts. Even before I knew you were this huge star, I couldn’t stop thinking about you”, he said with a soft chuckle.

“I wanted to pick up my life, you know? Like things with Anna were enveloping and yet you were stuck there in the back of my head holding me back somehow”

Gwen was staring at him with interested eyes as he chuckled again a bit shamefully.

“But finding out about me being well me, Gwen, changed things then?”, she asked, trying to not sound hurt, because she had no right to. But Blake shrugged.

“Well no. You not answering my e-mail did. Or at least that’s what I convinced myself”, he spoke softly while searching to catch her eyes. “’cause one day I still found myself wondering: ‘if only she’d have answered with one simple e-mail’”,

Gwen’s eyes found his again as he smiled at her. “And then there you were, two chairs away from me”

“And now here I am”, Gwen added instantly, causing him to nod.

“I don’t know what precisely it is about you, but even in times I just wanted to erase you out of my mind completely, I kept on having this feeling that I had to get to know you”, a few seconds of silence fell between them.

“It probably makes no sense at all”,

“No it does to me”, Gwen interrupted him immediately while placing her hand in his.

“You’re not just Grace. You’re so much more”, Blake said with a proud smile that made Gwen shy all of a sudden. “You’re a strong woman. You’re an incredible friend. You’re millions of people their idol, you’re hard working, driven – loyal and Godness you’re sweet. And above it all, you’re an amazing mom”, Blake said causing Gwen to adorably smile.

“Just Grace was more than enough already,  but Gwen Renée Stefani is a woman like no one else”, he added while squeezing her hand.  “And a woman I’m falling for a little more every day”, he whispered and Gwen had to swallow by hearing him say those words. She was speechless as she suddenly felt his hand moved out of hers.

“But don’t tell her, because I’m not supposed to yet”, he whispered then, as he placed his hand on top of the back of her head and placed a kiss on top of her hear. Gwen giggled by his last words. Sadly enough he moved away from her then, took a glass of orange juice and handed it to her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Good job ‘Pollo!”, Blake shouted. “Yeehaaa”, soon followed causing Gwen to laugh even though she wasn’t even in the same room as them.

“Yeeeha”, her youngest suddenly imitated causing Gwen’s eyes to widen. She walked towards the living room to see the scene in front of her by then on. Blake was chuckling as he threw his head backwards.

“You starting to sound like a real cowboy”, Blake said then in between his laughter as Apollo smiled proudly. Both of them sitting in front of one another with a puzzle in between them.

“Yeee-haaaaw”, The two year old shouted again, causing Gwen to start giggling as she kept watching. Blake soon followed with another cowboy shout before high fiving her youngest.

Gwen’s giggle then finally broke through as their own laughter started to fade. The two heads snapped her way then as Gwen could see similar bright grins appear on their faces. That made Gwen beam right back as she was still drying a plate from their dinner with a towel.

“You need some help with that?” Blake asked, without even waiting for an answer as he stood up immediately and walked her way. As he was standing right in front of her, she felt him take the plate and towel out of her hands.

“You know what? I’ll do it, you have some time with your baby”, he said while throwing her a short wink. “The others are in the backyard with Rae”, He didn’t even give her the time to argue him as he already had disappeared into the kitchen.  That’s right, RaeLynn stayed the night at his place as she was leaving later today to go back home to her fiancé.

“Hi sweet boy”, Gwen said while crouching down beside him on the ground. “You made this? Wow!”, she said while admiring the puzzle in front of them. The toddler excitedly started to clap his hands proudly.

“Good boy!”, she threw him a warm smile while rubbing his brown curls. Just when she pulled herself to stand up again, she caught a glance of a man a little further in the backyard, in between the woods. A frown appeared on Gwen’s features as she walked up to the window, to get a better glance of what her eyes were seeing. The man soon started to get out from between the trees as he suddenly came visible.

That same leather jacket. A ripped jeans. Brown curling hairs thrown back in a man bun. But it’s that nasty smile on his face that caught her. Her eyes widened as her heart started pounding inside her chest. She started to gasp for air as she couldn’t take her eyes away from the man taking huge steps closer in her direction. Out of pure reflex she started taking a couple of steps backwards until she walked right into the back of the couch.

Her breathing started to get unsteady as she wanted to run towards her two older boys and the young women right there outside, as she wanted to warn him from the coming danger, but she couldn’t. She was completely frozen in place as her mind didn’t want to move. She couldn’t take a single step as she started to feel her heartbeat raising inside of her mind. Faster and faster as she started to panic and while vaguely hearing a female voice coming from not that far away from her. Her knees started to give in as she also felt her cheek crash on the floor. The last thing she remembered was hearing a worried cry from her youngest.

“Mommy!”

Then everything went black.


	17. seventeen

Her eyes started to blink a few times. Her back ached, her head was pounding…. She was so confused.

“She’s waking up”, A voice said and hearing noise around her made an instant grunt leave her lips.

Where was she? Was she laying on a couch? A second grunt. Her eyes fought the light as she then felt some warmth lean on her skin. It took her a couple of seconds to registrant it as someone else’s hand cupping her cheek. A rather big one, most likely male. Her brain was just in the middle of waking up slowly when all in one her latest memory shot through her mind like a lightening bold. Danger. _Gavin_.

Her eyes snapped open and she gasped for air. The next second her body had flown up while crawling backwards, at the whole other edge of the couch.

 “Hey”, The man in front of her whispered softly as he moved along. But she barely heard it as all she heart was the tremendous beating of heart. A hand landed on top of her knee again. It appeared to not be a good choice, as she freaked out even more by pulling her legs up to her chest in the quickest movement.

“Get off of me! Don’t you touch me!”, she cried out as all she could see was vague flashes accompanied with a million of black dots. Her body was shaking as she kept greedily gasping for some fresh air. There was no control over her breathing and all she could think of was how weak and scared she felt.

For a few seconds straight she stared right in front of her, but she saw nothing. Black. A few flashed from earlier when Gavin walked out of those trees. Those are the only things  that she could envision right now.

It had to stop. So she hid her face in her legs and squeezed her eyes shut. She gave up on trying to get her breathing back to normal by just holding her breath for a couple of seconds. Completely turning inside herself, isolating herself, ignoring the world around her. She was aware it was still there, the voices around her didn’t stop. But they become softer and softer until eventually they were completely drawn away into the background. In real life? They didn’t lower their voices whatsoever, the opposite even, they raised it. They wanted to get to her, to get her back to reality. But all she could was count to ten, over and over again, trying to get her rhythm back. Concentrated on nothing other than counting while hearing her heartbeat echoing in her ears. Only one thing, only one word, only one voice snapped her out of her own head.

“Mommy?”,   

 

 

She stopped counting. Her heartbeat slowed down just in simple few seconds. The noise started to grow louder again. The sound of her heart faded. _Kingston_.

Her eyes opened and she immediately could see the skin of her legs again. Hesitantly she started to bring her head up. The black dots weren’t completely gone yet, but the flashes of her ex-husband running her way were by now. And then suddenly  she could make up her oldest son in the crowd. His big brown eyes staring at her a little teary with confusion. Far behind him, RaeLynn with Apollo tugged in her embrace. And right behind Kingston, there was Zuma, seeking for comfort as a strong arm was holding him tight. He was leaning his head on the shoulder of…

Blake.                                                                                                      

In top speed she pushed herself up on her knees and threw her arms around Blake’s neck. His arms immediately drew her in tightly, even though he was surprised as she had rejected any kind of affection before. Just the feeling of his hands holding her close, made a tear roll down on her cheek as a sudden sob left her lips.

 _“I’m here, I’m here”,_ The southern accent whispered a couple of times in her ear as he slowly rocked her. She buried her face in his neck to try to muffle her sobs, but she couldn’t. She didn’t even notice RaeLynn leading Zuma and Kingston out of the room, Apollo still in her arms, with her oldest protesting at first, but eventually following her anyway.

His arms tightly hugged her as long as she needed him to and Gwen didn’t even bother to move her head a single inch.  When she eventually did move her head, it was to rest her chin on top of his shoulder. With the perfect view over the backyard. She stared coldly into the woods where she had seen him appear earlier. Her eyes were searching for a hint of him, to catch a glance of his presence. They stayed focused for so long on that very same spot, but nothing happened. Eventually all she did was alarm RaeLynn who was looking at Gwen from outside. The girl eventually turned her head to try and see what Gwen was staring at. Nothing.

But she had seen him. He was here. Him, his leather jacket, his awful man bun, that smirk…

She shook her head. _Stop making yourself crazy,_ she kept repeating in her head. So seeking for comfort, she re-tightened her arms around her cowboy’s neck. Inhaling his scent, knowing it will bring her calmness.

It was only when she felt Blake’s hand on top of the back of her head, softly stroking through her hair that she let her eyelids fall down again.

 “What happened?”, Blake was so very worried, she could actually hear his voice shake. She shrugged while shaking her head softly.

“I’m not sure”, she lied as she swallowed. Eventually she did find the strength to pick her head up from the spot on his shoulder and eventually pulling away a little to find his blue eyes. “I had a really, really bad dream”, she told him.

“What kind of bad dream?”, Blake asked when she felt his thumb stroke up and down right beside her lips.

“I—“, she started to say but then she saw the worry in his eyes. The pure concern. God knows how badly she wanted to tell him the whole truth, but she couldn’t get it over her lips. She has done enough already. “I don’t remember”,

Blake gave her a soft smile, yet she noticed the worried frown on his face. She knew he didn’t truly believe the words she had just spoken. But instead of making an angry comment about it, he stroke a strand of her hear behind her ear.

“That’s ok”, he whispered. Gwen had to do anything in her power to not break down in tears. Blake deserved better than any of this.

“Do you remember fainting?”, he asked while stroking his hands from her neck all the way down on her arm. That way his hand fell in hers.

“No”, A second lie but she had to. She didn’t want him to worry.

“RaeLynn just came to check on you when you suddenly passed out”, he explained, causing me to glance over at the young woman was now standing in the doorframe. Softly bumping Apollo up and down a little as the little man obviously was confused. His eyes a bit puffy as he seemed to have cried.

“You hyperventilated over something”, RaeLynn brought out worried as she had seen the whole thing happen earlier.

“I guess I just am really tired”, Not completely a lie, she is. At night she mostly keeps herself busy reading or playing some games on her phone because she’s worrying all the time.

“How about you just lay in bed and try to sleep a bit”, Blake offered, making Gwen nod in agreement.

“I’ll go get you some water” Blake said then while he reluctantly let go of her hand.

“Rae?”, Gwen cried out, making the woman nod. “My boys” was all she said for the young woman to turn around and gather her two oldest. They shouldn’t be in the backyard right now. A few seconds later they ran into the room and quickly walked up to their mom. But just when they were right in front of her, they stopped  in their tracks, afraid to touch her, to do something wrong.

“Mom”, Zuma said worriedly, but Gwen shook her head as she just reached her arms out towards them, wanting to hold them as close as possible. The boys immediately threw themselves in her embrace as she kissed both of their crowns.

“How are you feeling?”, Kingston.

“Tired, but I’m ok”, she answered them immediately, reassuring her boys. That same second RaeLynn walked up to them and placed the slightly upset Apollo on top of her lap. She held him in her arms. Soon Blake joined them again as he sat down on the couch behind Kingston. He sat the glass of water down on the coffee table, to not disturb her mommy moment.

RaeLynn was sitting down on the coffee table watching the scene in front of her. And the second Gwen met her eyes, she knew that the young girl was aware that there was more to the story than Gwen let on.

After a numerous more minutes of her boys cuddling up to her and Gwen reassuring them that she’s just fine, Blake placed his hand on top of Kingston’s shoulder. The kid looked in Blake’s direction and gave the cowboy a smile.

“How about we let your mom rest a little and we go built a fort outside, hah?”, Blake suggested but that immediately caused Gwen to take a hold of Blake’s arm as he was lifting himself up from the couch. He gave her a sweet but questioning look.

“Can you—not play in the backyard today?”, Gwen brought out hesitant and a frown grew on the man’s face. Gwen started to shake her head. “You know what? Never mind. Just look out for them, ok?”, She added almost immediately.

But Blake obviously had seen something different in her eyes so he changed his eyes back to the boys.

“How about we do the fort tomorrow? When your mom is feeling better, than she doesn’t have to miss out on it”, An uncontrollable smile grew on her face by how good he was handling every situation.

“We could go make chocolate cookies together now, I have a special recipe and they are soooo good”, He got the boys excited almost immediately but he noticed how sleepy Apollo was.

“How about you two go the kitchen already while I put this little guy down for a little nap?”, They nodded and ran out of the room.

“No, no Blake it’s fine. I’ll take him with me. I love to cuddle up with my bubba”, The word ‘bubba’ made Apollo let out a giggle, knowing it was about him. She left a big kiss on his tiny cheek. That made Blake chuckle softly as he leaned down to pick up the glass of water and hand it to Gwen.

“Drink some”, he ordered her, causing her to smile. She took a few sips of it. Blake on the other hand reached out for Apollo and took him in his arms.

“Let’s go get you guys settled”, Blake said when Gwen gave him a confused stare.

“I will take him with me”, Gwen repeated making Blake instantly shake his head.

“No you won’t”, he said while reaching with his free hand out to help Gwen up. She rolled her eyes as he was being overly worried and protective already. But nevertheless she took his hand and allowed him to pull her up. She kinda liked him even more for that. So they went upstairs together, carrying Apollo in his arms.

Blake walked up to the bed and threw the blankets open for her, causing Gwen to let out a laugh.  

“You do realise that I can actually still function, right?”, She teased him causing him to look at her while shrugging a little embarrassed. Maybe he was being too much, maybe she feels suffocated… But just when those thoughts reached his brain, he felt her fingertips on his cheek. He wandered his eyes off to hers. Her hand travelled upwards to gently go with her fingers through his curls.

Her eyes focussed on his soft hairs for just a second before she met his eyes again. A shy smile came to her features. “Thank you for taking care of me”, she whispered.

His dimples popped up and he felt his heart start beating faster when she pulled herself up on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss on top of his cheek. Just then Apollo made a yawning sound, causing both adults to chuckle. Their eyes both went up to the two years old from who’s eyes were fighting against the sleep.

Gwen pulled hers arms away from over Blake’s shoulder as she brought one hand up to caress over her baby boy’s hairs. Her hand then stroked over Apollo’s back down to eventually land on top of Blake’s hand, where he was holding her baby up on his legs. Blake’s smile grew wider when he felt her hand touch his.

Eventually Gwen even rested her head on Blake’s chest , as he immediately returned the affection with throwing his free arm around her waist, holding her to his body. Yet both of them were mesmerized  by Apollo who by now had lost the fight against sleep. In the meantime Gwen had sneaked her arm around Blake’s as well. Her other hand still on top of his, holding her baby up together.

Eventually they found each other’s eyes and Gwen could feel herself sinking away in the ocean blue. That was until Gwen eventually giggled and looked away. Reluctantly both of them stepped away from each other’s body then as Blake did keep his hand on top of the small of her back and leaded her the last few steps up to the bed. His hand disappeared the second she actually started to crawl in the bed. Once she was laying on her side, facing Blake, he leaned down and gently placed her baby boy on the mattress right next to her.  

“If you need anything, anything at all, call out for me”, Blake said while pulling the blankets tightly around their bodies as if he was literally tucking her in. She laughed a little as she looked away from him to catch a glance of her small boy.

“Hey! Promise that you will”, he said, leaving Gwen roll her eyes. He knows her too well. Her eyes found his again and gave him a big smile.

“I promise”,

Blake leaned down and planted a kiss on top of her hair, followed by a peck on Apollo’s forehead as well before he started to walk out of the room. Not before flashing Gwen his dimples a last time.

 

 

                             

 

When they had just started to put the ingredients in a big bowl and all three of them had their hands dirty already by kneading the cookie dough, Blake realised he had forgotten to bring the glass of water to Gwen’s room. So just when he was about to wash his hands to bring it upstairs, RaeLynn jumped up  and offered to bring it up, considering she had only been watching them make the cookies, wisely deciding to let the kids handle it. Including Blake.

So Rae took the glass of water and walked upstairs. Quietly she opened the door, trying not to wake Gwen. She found the woman laying with her eyes closed, her arms wrapped around her baby boy as the two of them seemed to be sleeping. So on her tiptoes she walked up to the nightstand and just when she was about to carefully place it down on the nightstand, Gwen spoke up.

“It’s ok, I’m not sleeping”, she said, causing RaeLynn to jump up as she was surprised by the sudden voice.

“Jesus!”, Rae brought out.

“I’m sorry”, Gwen said while letting out a soft chuckle. RaeLynn placed the water down on the nightstand and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Can’t you sleep?”, She asked while throwing Gwen a pitiful smile. Gwen smiled back while shaking her head.

“You’re not really that tired, are you?”, Rae asked causing Gwen to shake her head once more while letting out a sigh. Her arms loosened from her baby while falling down on her back now to stare at the ceiling.

“What happened?”, She whispered while reaching out to take a hold of Gwen’s hand that was laying on top of the covers. Gwen her eyes went from their hands to find Rae’s eyes. “You saw something, didn’t you? I watch you freak out from out of the backyard”,

A silence followed as Gwen considered her options. She could use someone to talk to, that’s for sure.

 “If I tell you, you can’t tell Blake… I don’t want him to worry”, she rambled then on which RaeLynn thought for a few seconds before she nodded with determination. So Gwen nodded as well . She swallowed while closing her eyes. She took a deep breath in before looking back at the girl.

“I think I might be going crazy”,  
  


 

 

 

  
Gwen had told RaeLynn the truth and nothing but the truth. About how she had seen her crazy (ex)husband walk out of those woods with the most crazy smile on his face, as if he was coming for her. She told her how she felt frozen in place. As if she could not take a single step. Not one. How her heart started raising, how she wanted to run up to them, to protect Rae, to protect her boys. But she couldn’t. Not a single step.

RaeLynn had told her that she had seen not a single soul in between the trees. That she had looked to see what Gwen was staring at in the distance, but that there was nothing there.

RaeLynn had asked her whether this was the first time she thought that she had seen him. After a long silence Gwen had shook her head. The supermarket. At the end of that damn hallway. Gwen told her about how Blake had turned around as well, seeing no one at all.

RaeLynn had suggested to call to LA police, to see if they could still track him down somewhere in LA, but Gwen had denied. She didn’t want him to ruin her life, to make her afraid. He wasn’t here. She was imagining this, she can’t let him define her any longer.

“I’m hallucinating”, Gwen said with a bitter chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m actually going crazy”, Gwen found herself mumbling at one point on which Rae immediately squeeze her hand.

“No. You are not”, she reassured her immediately. “You’re just processing a lot at once. This is just the way your body is reacting to your mind being occupied with all of this 24/7”

Gwen nodded. She was right.

“When does your flight leave?”, Gwen changed the subject all of a sudden, making RaeLynn frown.

“I’m not leaving now”, she said causing Gwen to look up at her confused. “If friends need you, you don’t abandon them. I’m not leaving tonight, not anymore”, she said causing Gwen to sit up straight now. She felt touched for RaeLynn to actually consider her a friend all at once, but at the same time she immediately started to feel guilty as she shook her head.

“No! Don’t let me hold you back from seeing your fiancé! I don’t want you to, don’t change your life because of me as well. It’s more than enough already that I did this to Blake”, she mumbled the last part causing Rae to swallow, not quite sure what to say now.

“Go catch your flight. I have Blake here. I’m safe. Go see your husband-to-be!”

“You sure?”, The young girl looked more worried than ever, and even though Gwen felt a knot form inside her chest that she was leaving just now when they started bounding, Gwen knew what the right thing to do was. So she put up a fake bright smile as she nodded enthusiastically.

“Yes! Absolutely!”

“Do you promise you will tell Blake about this?”, That shut Gwen up again as her smile completely disappeared.

“He has to know about this if he’s the only one around”,

Gwen nodded, she was right. “I’ll tell him”… _one day_

“Give me your phone”, RaeLynn said then, causing Gwen to frown while reaching in her pocket to give it to her.

“Call me if something like this happens again, ok?”, RaeLynn asked as she was putting her number in her phone and sending a text to her own number so she’d have Gwen’s as well. “Just call me”, she said and Gwen nodded again.

“Ok”, Gwen spoke while giving her a grateful smile. “I will”

 

 

 

 

 

Gwen was watching how Blake pulled his t-shirt over his head, leaving him in just his jeans. She admire his bare back for a second before she casually walked in.

“Hey Blake?”, He was sitting on the edge of his bed, taking off his socks. Hearing her voice made him look up immediately and smile at her. He hummed friendly.

“Is it normal that the water in the bathroom isn’t working?”, she asked adorably, causing Blake to chuckle.

“No that’s not right”, he pulled himself up from the bed and took a few steps her way, up towards his closet where he took out a pyjama shirt. A playful grin appeared on her face as she was checking out his bare chest. She had seen it as well a few days ago, but still.

A rolling laughter followed once he saw the smile on her face while shaking his head. His hand came towards her stomach, causing her eyes to look up from his chest to find his gaze.

“Truly, this beer belly really isn’t worth the way you are looking at me right now”, he said in between a few chuckles making Gwen roll her eyes.

“You have no idea how hot you are”, Gwen took a few steps up to him and threw her arms around him, placing her tiny hands on top of the small of his back. “Now that I think of it, that makes you even sexier”,

“You’re so weird”, Blake said in an uncomfortable, shy laughter. He avoided to touch her as well even though it was acquiring his full strength not to.

“I am weird, but not for thinking you are hot. That’s just a fact”, she casually said before withdrawing her arms and petting her hand on his chest a few times.

“Now come fix my shower”, she said adorably, leaving him roll his eyes with a beaming smile. She started to walk up towards her room meanwhile he pushed  his arms through the holes of his shirt.

With one glance over her shoulder, she smirked again. “You’re really putting that on?”,

“Yeah, I am”, he said determined, leaving both of them chuckling. Unbelievable how he was trying all his power to not give into any temptation and to prevent her from crossing a line too far. So he pulled the shirt over his head

“That’s a shame, really”, she said with the same smirk on her face while giving him a short wink. Meanwhile she waited for him to catch up with her at her door. To her big surprise she felt his hand on the small of her back to lead her into the room and up to the bathroom. He wasn’t even aware that his hand was touching her.

She took a seat at the edge of the bathtub, while she watched him search for the cause of the problem. When a few minutes had passed, he met her eyes again and remember how tired she had been earlier. She probably just wants to go to bed as soon as possible.

“Hey, how about you use the bathroom in my room while I try to fix this?”, he asked causing Gwen to tilt her head.  

“You don’t mind?”, Blake instantly shook his head. “Of course I don’t”

 

 

 

That’s how Gwen ended up in Blake’s shower, washing the worries of today away. She had brought her shampoo and conditioner along, but she did forget about her shower gel. Her eyes fell down on a green tube standing on a shelf in the shower. Blake’s,  but she was pretty sure he wouldn’t mind. So the second she opened the tube, she could tell it was what Blake mostly uses. It was a part of his scent and God she really didn’t mind using it now. It brought an instant smile along.

Ten minutes later she stepped out of the shower and threw a towel around her body. Using another towel to dry her hair, while she was humming a song. A few seconds later she heard Blake enter his room.

“Hey Gwen?”, he shouted out for her and she answer with a ‘yeah’

“I couldn’t fix it, probably something with the water pipes or whatever. I’ll  let someone come fix it tomorrow”,

Gwen hummed as she was drying the rest of her body parts. She realised that she had forgotten to bring her nightdress so she started thinking about what the proper way was to walk out of the bathroom now. But then out of nowhere, she started to imagine the total opposite. What would be the most inappropriate way to walk out of this room now? The way that would drive him the most insane. Probably just completely naked. But she couldn’t do that? Could she? Well she sure as hell was blunt enough for it.  But no.

He was sitting at the edge of his bead, busy typing something on his phone when she walked out of the bathroom.

Gwen stopped walking once she passed a picture on one of his closets that she hadn’t seen before. It was from him and Adam. Adam was rocking his blond hairs with a Hawaiian shirt and even one of Blake’s range hats on. He was sitting right next to Blake’s who was wearing the same range hat and his typical flannel shirt. They were smiling brightly and damn they looked hot. Especially Blake, wow.

She took the picture frame off of the closet to get a better look at it.

“From when was this?”, She asked while keeping her eyes focused on the photo. It’s only then that Blake looked up from his phone and found her standing at the bottom of his bed with the frame in her hands. Only a white, rather small towel wrapped around her body. Her legs very much exposed, as well with a lot of skin that showed from her back. He had to swallow before he was able to answer.

“His engagement party a few years back”,  Blake answered hesitant causing Gwen to look over her shoulder and grin when she noticed the look of torture on his face. “Adam got very wasted that night”, he chuckled.

Gwen giggled along as she placed the frame right back where she had found it. “I wish I knew you longer already”, it was a simple sentence, but so much truth in it. Blake smiled because of it as he nodded in agreement.

“Can you imagine if they asked me for season one instead of Christina? Things sure would’ve looked different”, she just said in a wondering voice.

“I wish that would’ve been the case, to be honest”, Blake said, causing Gwen to chuckle sweetly. She knows he means it in the most adorable way but yet she found herself tilting her head.

“Really? I’m not sure actually”, Gwen said as she took a few steps closer to him.

“How come?”, he asked out of pure interest as out of reflex he pulled himself up from the bed. He knew that otherwise she would come sit down next to him, and having her sit on his bed… well you know, you don’t have to tempt fate either, right?

“Well you know, you would’ve still been happily married and so would I, you know? Maybe it would’ve stayed like that… one little thing could change a million others”, Gwen spoke wisely causing Blake to shrug as he had a considering look, as if he didn’t fully agree.

“Actually I was not married yet when the voice started, so maybe if you came along in season one, I never would have”, he said causing Gwen to make a thinking noise.

“Or… you would have anyway and we never got our shot because by the time things got down with our spouses we would’ve been stuck in the friend zone”,

That made Blake let out a laugh as he shook his head in disbelief. An uncontrolled smile shattered over his face. “That’s one negative way to look at it”, he spoke eventually causing Gwen to laugh along while taking another step closer, to stand right in front of him now.

“Negative… or realistic?”,

Blake nodded. “Maybe a bit of both”, Gwen’s smile grew now as well as she nodded. She could live with that answer.

“So no, as long as I’m not sure that it would lead me to this ranch, with my family, with you… then no, I wouldn’t want to change a thing”, She casually said causing Blake to look away shyly.

“I see”, he said while looking back up to show her his dimples. And then after a couple of seconds of complete silence, Blake frowned while briskly tilting his head her way.

“You smell like me, by the way”,

Gwen threw her head back in laughter.

“I hope you don’t mind, I used your shower gel”, she answered causing him to laugh while raising his brows.

“What do I get in return, then?”, he asked with a silly smile making Gwen roll her eyes with a smile on top of her lips.

“Hmm, how about… nothing?”, Gwen bet her eyelashes at him a couple of times, causing him to be the one to throw his head back now.

“Ok so what about the towel? Did I tell you you could use those?”, he joked while she immediately brought her brows up.

“Oh does it bother you? That I used the towel?”, she said teasingly and he nodded sarcastically.

“Do you want it back, hah?”, she asked flirtatious, but he wasn’t really aware at first as he just chuckled and nodded again.

“Of course!”, He said still laughing but then he suddenly noticed how her hands were moving up to the upper side of the towel, where it was wrapped around her chest.

“You do?’, she asked with a mischievous smile. She brought her eyebrows up as her hands were slightly tucking at the towel, probably testing his limits again. The voice inside his head was telling him to stop her. To hold her back from untucking the towel. That he should tell her he wants it back one day. Not now….,But he couldn’t. He know he should have said something by now. But he again he couldn’t get a single word out. Instead he just stood there, looking at her in complete awe and shock. Just frozen in place.

Another part of him wanted to see how far exactly she’d go. To change the rolls and test her limits. He was sure she wouldn’t actually drop the damn thing anyway. So he kept shut.

And considering he didn’t stop her, her smile grew even larger as her hands pulled at the towel slightly, until it eventually loosened and fell off of her body. At first his eyes stayed on top of hers as he slightly gasped for air. His eyes frowned at her as a: ‘what did you’ kind of gesture. Eventually he moved his head up a little, trying not to look at her body.

A giggle came from her, as he could suddenly feel her hand on top of his chest. So he looked back up and found her brown, sparkling eyes.

“Don’t be so tensed, it’s just me”, she said because she kind of started to feel bad for him, for teasing him so much while all he tried to do was good. Also he did truly looked surprised that she actually did it. And damn it… it clearly was torturing him. Her nails traced over his stubbly cheeks a couple times before she suddenly crouched down and picked the towel up.

She considered her options. Throw the damn thing back around her body… but what was the fun about that, right? At the end, he didn’t stop her to actually take it off, did he?

He was reminded in that moment that even though it was just wonderful, sweet Gwen in front of him, it was still a wonderful, sweet but very much naked Gwen.

“You’re naked”, Was the exact first thing that left his lips. That caused Gwen to laugh again.

“You pretty much asked for it”, she answered him, finally releasing a small, playful smile from him. “I wouldn’t mind if you—“, she started but she had no idea how to end that sentence. She wouldn’t mind if he’d what? If he’d checked her out? If he’d close the distance, if he’d kiss her? If he’d touch her?

A smirk came to his face then as he noticed how she wasn’t sure what exactly she wanted him to do now. He felt better that he wasn’t the only one feeling slightly awkward. The sparkle in his eyes, the amusement made Gwen smile back as she took her bottom lip in and eventually ended up biting her lip with a grin.

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?”, he said then causing Gwen to nonchalantly shrug as if she did know it.

Suddenly he felt a towel being pressed against his chest and he almost looked down to their hands, but then he remembered again how he would catch a glance over her body.

She giggled. “Here’s your towel back”, she said with a soft, warm voice. Meanwhile her hands stayed put on his chest for a couple seconds before pushing herself away from him. As she took a few steps backwards, she bit her lip while giving him a short wink. After that she turned around from him and started walk into the direction of her own bedroom. He threw his head up to look at the ceiling of his room,  this time it was him who bit his lip. But he couldn’t do this anymore. His eyes landed down and fell down on her naked body walking away from him. Her hair swayed back and forth over her shoulder blades as her body moved.   _God she’s so beautiful_. He doesn’t know what makes him do it, but he couldn’t help himself.

“Gwen”, he murmured.

Her hair flew over her shoulder as she turned her head his way. Her smile was contagious as she started giggling and Blake couldn’t help but feel his entire body warm up. She stayed put as she looked into his eyes.

He wanted to walk up to her and touch her skin. Brush his lips against her soft ones. Run his fingers through her hair. Feel her body against his. But should he do it? Should he close the distance now? Give into all those feelings he has for her?

_Should he?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> probably won't be updating for a few weeks, sorry x


	18. eighteen

_Should he?_ No, he knows he shouldn't.

“What is, Blake?”,

He stumbled over his words as he opened his mouth but soon closed it again. A nervous chuckle escaped while throwing his eyes down. A few seconds later he gathered his courage and looked back up. A sigh filled the air. Hesitantly he opened his mouth again.

“Just that um—you’re really hot”,

Gwen let out a laugh while frowning at him. The second her smile captured him again and he felt a pure feeling of bliss run through his veins. The brightest smile formed on his lips, just for her. Blake’s eyes soon fell down on how she sucked on her bottom lip shyly. No matter how blunt she might’ve just acted, she can’t help but blush whenever he complements her.

 “Very hot”, he said causing her to shake her head in disbelief, as her big smile came right back. Their eyes kept locked for quite a few seconds before Gwen modestly let them fall with a soft giggle.

“I don’t know what to say right now”, She admitted awkwardly, literally being speechless, causing both of them to start laughing uncontrollably.

 “How about goodnight?”, Blake used his tender voice causing Gwen to nod a couple times as they stared at each other’s matching grins.

“Goodnight Blakey”, She said a few seconds later.

“Goodnight Gwennie Grace”, With a soft snickering laugh, she took the last few steps out of his room and softly closed the door.

_Damn this woman._

 

 

“Oh well look at you, I barely recognized you with your clothes on”, Blake teased once he had noticed Gwen leaning against the doorframe. He had no idea how long she had been standing there, but he couldn’t mind less. Her entire face lit up as she indifferently tilted her hands up in a ‘well yeah’ kind of gesture.

“I barely recognized you without drooling”,  she joked right back, causing Blake to throw his head back in laughter.

“I think we both know that you do not have to be naked for me to drool over ya”, He charmingly winked right before he turned his back her way to press on the button of the tea kettle.

“How come you’re up already?”, he asked, which didn’t get him an immediate answer. For that reason he got a peek over his shoulder to see her shrug absent-mindedly. “Not another bad dream, right?”, His worried voice instantly made her shake her head. Within a few seconds she was standing next to him, looking up as she threw her arms around his waist.

“No, I just – I guess I just hate sleeping alone”, she said flirtatious at first, but soon a chuckle followed. That made Blake roll his eyes amused before he pulled his arm around her body, pulling her to him. “And also…”, she started which caused her to find his eyes first before she went on. “I’m nervous about telling the boys the truth about everything”, she admitted with a long face.

“I see… You wanna tell them today?”, Gwen hummed, while uncertainly nodding her head up and down.

“We’ll be fine”, he squeezed her body closer to his during the time his lips smoothly brushed the top of her head. Gwen closed her eyes out of simple happiness and gratefulness. “They’ll be fine. But you, missy, you have to try to catch some more sleep, I don’t want you fainting again”,

Gwen tilted her head towards Blake and peered at him. Just when he angled his head her way to lock his eyes with hers, her eyes flew to the ground. Her stomach had been turning into a knot every time he brought the fainting up. Her heart drops, she hates lying.

Blake frowned, noticing her sudden change of behaviour.

“I’m fine, I promise”, she dryly pronounced, while hastily moving out of his arms. Blake was completely startled as he had no idea what just happened.

“Have you had breakfast already?”, she asked him. But he couldn’t help but feel that she wasn’t telling him everything. He couldn’t help but feel that she was hiding something. The way she changed the topic so quickly and how she avoided his touch and his gaze all at once… something was off.

“Blake?”,

“Um? Oh… yeah um no, I haven’t yet. I’ll make us some”, he gave her a friendly but bewildered smile.

“Oh I didn’t mean to—I mean I can make us breakfast as well, you know?”, Gwen said, catching up on his frown. Gwen immediately could see that something was bothering him.

“No, just go enjoy reading the paper or whatever you do in the mornings”, He mumbled  with still that not so natural ‘friendly’ smile on his face, but his voice had sounded cold. The smile and the timber of his voice weren’t matching up.

“I usually check my social media in the morning, the paper is too depressing”, she told him, thinking maybe he felt as if he didn’t know a lot about her. Or at least that’s how he was acting all of a sudden.

“Well yeah go do that then”, he said while gesturing his arm towards the kitchen table. She returned his smile but she stayed put anyway. Instead of actually strolling over to the table, she closed the distance between them as in the meantime he had turned his back to her and was standing in front of the stove. Her tiny arms locked themselves around his middle. His body became less tensed already by feeling her body against his. Maybe he was reading all of this wrong.

“Is everything ok?”, she asked him. He threw his arm around her shoulders then as well and brought her to stand beside him.

He exhaled when he found her brown eyes look up at him concerned. “Yeah, I’m –“, he stopped the sentence halfway and just looked away from her again.

“Did I do something wrong?”, Gwen asked scared suddenly, immediately drilling through Blake’s attention. His eyes found her instantly.

“What? No”, he shook his head forcefully, before just gazing up at her. His hand came up to her face to gently caress a strand of hair behind her ear.“But something happened, just a minute ago”, he said causing Gwen to frown at him, asking for more explanation.

“You... You acted strange. You’re not telling me something”, he said and Gwen could feel her heart beat faster. She stared at him, not quite sure what to answer on this.

“Or at least that’s what I got…. I just… Is there something you feel like you can’t tell me?” , he asked and she could hear the devastation in his voice. For the time being he had drifted his hand up towards her neck.  “Or am I wrong?”

Gwen sighed while bringing her hand up to cover his on her neck. Her eyes closed for a short amount of time, leaning her head back on top of his hand. Million thoughts were racing through her brain as deep down she knew she should just get it over with and tell him… but as much as her mind knew that that was the better option, her mouth decided differently.

 “There is nothing to worry about, Blake, I promise”, She opened her eyes to face him, but within her, she cursed at herself, what made her say that?

Blake nodded, yet still a bit suspiciously. “But if there was something, you’d tell me right?”,

Gwen smiled at him while bringing their hands down and took hers away from him. Then she casually walked up towards the fridge, ignoring his question until he could no longer see her eyes.

“Yeah”, she tried to bring out as convincingly as possible while opening the fridge, just so she didn’t have to face him, didn’t have to look him in the eye when she lied to him. She couldn’t.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Mom…?”, Zuma brought out while chuckling carefully and stiffly. Gwen was sitting on the coffee table, facing her two oldest sons. A nervous smile was on her lips. She looked over at the cowboy standing in the door opening, not that far behind the couch. Blake gave her a small encouraging smile as he nodded. For a single second she returned a smile before looking back over at her boys.

“You remember how I told you we were just here as in being on a fun trip, right?”, Gwen spoke while her head turned from Kingston to Zuma and back. Both of them nodded. Zuma seemed confused as he glanced over at his brother, while Kingston just had a neutral face... As if he knew what was coming.

“Well, that was not the whole truth”, she spoke anxiously then while reaching her hands out to lay on both of their tiny knees.

“I know I always have taught you how _honesty is very important_ , and I want you to know that me not having told you all of this right away is because I had  really good reasons to, ok?”,

Both of them nodded right away. Gwen glanced away from them, to just take a deep breath in. How is she ever going to get this over her lips? Suddenly she felt Kingston’s hand land on top of hers.

“Mom, it’s ok. We know you wouldn’t lie if you didn’t have to”,

And oh didn’t that hurt… It felt as if she was stabbed … because really? Wouldn’t she? Then why had she lied to Blake earlier? Did she really have to hide the truth from him? No.   
Was it to protect him? To not let him worry about her even more? Maybe  
Or was is it just what she was telling herself to approve her lying?  She knew the real reason deep down. Fear, cowardness. Because hallucinating your ex-husband is for crazy people. What if he thinks she’s crazy? What if she actually is? …. what if this would be the thing that makes everything too heavy for him? He can’t keep trying to save her if she keeps on giving him new reasons that she’s drowning again, deeper than ever.

She sighed. She was waiting for the shoe to drop, but she couldn’t lose him. Not now. Not yet.

“When school starts again, we’re heading back to LA… but we won’t be going home”,

“Why not?”, Zuma asked directly in a high pitch voice, totally confused, and Gwen had to swallow.

“Well sweetheart… You know your dad and I fought a lot lately, right?”, He nodded hesitant, looking over at his older brothet the second time now, searching for answer and comfort at the same time.

“And those fights only got worse and worse…” she paused while glancing over at Kingston who was looking at her with attentive, listening eyes.

“We’re not gonna live with your dad any longer”, She finally spoke while travelling her eyes back at Zuma. He had thrown his eyes down to stare at his hands, trying to progress her words for a few seconds. She gave them some time, she’d gave them all the time in the world.

“Ok”, Kingston was the first to speak. “Do we like need to go see him from time to time?”, 

 “For the first few months you’ll be staying with only me, but after that I guess that’s kind of up to you guys”, Gwen said while glancing over at Blake who gave her another encouraging nod with that sweet, humble smile of his. It made her feel more confident immediately.

“I hope we don’t”, Kingston said then to her big surprise, as she turned her head his way in bafflement. Zuma did the exact same thing as he snapped his head to his older brother, maybe even a bit disgusted.

“What?”, he cried out totally perplexed. ”Why?” on which Kingston simply shrugged.

“Well Zuma just because—“, he had slightly raised his voice when he suddenly stopped talking all at once. Gwen watched the interaction of her sons, when suddenly she saw Kingston look over his shoulder to look at Blake. Just like Gwen had done a few seconds earlier. Their eyes locked with one another, and she noticed how Blake gave him a pitiful smile which seemed to calm Kingston down somehow. Gwen frowned. Their eyes were not just exchanging encouraging looks, like Blake had been doing with her, but they were screaming a story and understanding. All that while Gwen had no idea what made Kingston so determined to not see his dad, Blake obviously did.

Kingston sighed and looked back at Zuma. “Just because, Zum. I rather be with mom”, he eventually said and Gwen kept looking up and down from Kingston to Blake and then right back. She kept on wondering what the look was about and what it had meant.

“I love you, mom, but… I still wanna see dad…”, he whispered innocently and hurt, it broke her heart. She immediately seemed to forget about Blake and King’s interaction as she brought her hand up towards Zum’s chin and tilt his head up to catch his eyes.

“That’s ok. You don’t have to choose between us, sweetie. I love you too, no matter what. We’ll figure it out somehow, I promise”,

 

 

 

 

“That went ok, right?”, Blake asked once he got a second alone with her. She shrugged while sighing.

“I guess… I’m just glad they know”, she spoke while walking straight up in his arms. “And I’m so glad you are here right now”, she whispered underneath her breath. Her nose was nuzzling in his shirt, tickling him gingerly as she rested her head on his beating heart.

“Always”, he kissed her crown while he smoothly rocked her.

“So tell me, what was the look between you and King earlier?”, she couldn’t hold her curiosity back any longer, causing Blake to laugh shortly.

“You’re cute”, he said out of nowhere before he went on. “Just something between men, you know?”,

Gwen rolled her eyes. She wanted to know what her boy was thinking, to get an inside of how he feels about the whole thing, while in real life, she has no clue. And all that while Blake knew more, but wasn’t letting on. Blake saw the disappointment in her eyes by his answer, causing him to stroke up and down on her arms.

“He’s nine, Gwen… I guess he was more involved in all of this than anyone could’ve assumed”, Blake tried to give her a peek of the inside, without truly saying much as he stayed vaguely. But it made the disappointment disappear so that praised Blake lucky. Even more when suddenly she shook her head a bit distractedly before retaking his eyes as she gave him a warm smile.

“I’m sorry, I’m just worried”, Gwen spoke while entwining her fingers with his. “And I hate it that he feels like they can’t talk to me about it, you know?”,

Blake nodded recognizable, as he still felt that there was something that Gwen felt as if she couldn’t talk about it with Blake either. But just when he was going to let his brain go there again, Gwen’s voice broke through.  “But I thank God Blake, for you, every day. Because they have you now as well… and I’m so grateful”,

Blake started to grin proudly as he looked down shyly. A second later he pulled his arms around her and held her close to him. He mumbled: “it’s my pleasure”

A minute had passed of them starting small talk while their bodies had never stopped touching.

“I threw some chips in a bowl for the boys”, he said while nodding to the kitchen table. She smiled while bringing her eyes up to find his.  

“That’s good”, she stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips on his cheek gratefully. “Thank you”, Blake flashed her his dimples, causing her to give him a lovesick glimpse.

“Those dimples, wow”, she mumbled, causing Blake to chuckle loudly. After that she let go of his body to bring the chips to the boys.

“Hey do you want some more tea?”, he asked her. She nodded happily before marching out the kitchen to go to her boys who all three of them were glued to the television screen.

Blake on the other hand was making her a cup of tea when suddenly her phone -that was laying on the kitchen counter- buzzed and lit up. As a reflex he got a peek of the screen as he shouted for Gwen.

“Your phone buzzed”, he cried out, on which she replied that she was coming in a second. But in that moment out of the corner of his eyes he saw RaeLynn’s name appear on her phone. First he frowned when second an immediate smile grow on his lips. He felt so happy all of a sudden that they became closer over the last days, yet he hadn’t seen or heard them exchange number though.

“Hey, I didn’t know you had RaeLynn’s number”, Blake just casually said when he could actually hear her walk closer to the kitchen door.

Just when he was going to look away and go on with the tea he was making her, he noticed in a flash the word ‘hallucination’. So he frowned while giving it a second glance, to see if he had read it wrong.

It had been so very innocent. He never meant to read it, to actually invade her privacy. But just like that, it had happened.

_How are u? Have u had any other hallucinations?_

“What in hell”, he murmured before glancing up from the screen to see Gwen in the door opening and she immediately saw the weird look on Blake’s face. He shook his head in disbelief as he threw her another confused glance, waiting for an explanation. But she just ignored it the first few seconds as she walked up to right beside him. She took her phone from on the counter and looked at the message. _Damn it_. And with that she could still feel his eyes burn on her, never leaving her, not even for a second.

“Is that why you fainted?”, his voice was distant and cold. It made her close her eyes and she swallowed.

“Why did you even read it?”, she said with a bitter chuckle while taking a few steps away from him, to eventually stand at the other side of the kitchen island. On the inside she knew that was the worst possible thing to tell him. That he deserved much better than for her to be judging him on accidently reading a message. But it had been too late, the words had been spoken.

“What? Really?”, he let out a huff. “I didn’t mean to, it just lit up and it caught my eye, Gwen!”, he raised his voice but then remembered how her boys were only a room away so he shook his head in disbelief while burying it in his hands. When he looked up again he found her big brown eyes right on him, completely tensed and concerned.

“Where you ever gonna tell me?”, he asked then on a neutral volume.

“I was planning to, I swear to God”, she could feel her heart sink in her chest when she saw the confusion and hurt in Blake’s eyes, completely taking over the feeling of anger. That says enough.

“Oh yeah, when? After you fainted a second time? A third? A fifth?”, He sounded broken and all Gwen could do to prevent her heart from breaking into a million tiny pieces was bringing her eyes down. When he saw how her body seemed unnerved and ashamed, he decided to take a few breathes in and out. At some level he was able to compose himself, after stroking his hand through his hairs a few times. 

“Hallucinations as in what?”, he had to know right now, because no matter how his heart ached for himself, the most occurring feeling right now was still worry.

“Hallucinations as in Gavin”, was all she answered while she tried to read his body language. She knew she was far from his favourite person right now, but yet here he was. Worrying. The poor guy always worries.

He nodded a couple times before he looked away from her with another sigh.

“You lied to me”, he mumbled, with a tiny, sour chuckle. He barely believed it. “I asked you what happened and you lied. This is huge and you didn’t even mind filling me in...”

“No Blake, I was going to tell you, let me explain—“, she immediately stumbled out while taking a few steps towards him.

“It’s simple, you just still don’t trust me enough to tell me. You’re never going to let me entirely in, are you?”, he said and waited for an answer. She wanted to convince him that she was. That he is the only one she actually does trust these days. It took her such a long time to answer, causing him to huff. That said enough by itself, right? But then out of nowhere he felt her hand on his bicep.

“Blake that’s not true, I just didn’t want you to—“

“No just don’t!”, He said in cold blood. She had hesitated to answer. She still doesn’t trust him and just that thought, just ripped his heart out of his chest. The look in her eyes… her eyes that started to get teary by how she upset him. He closed his eyes and took a really deep breathe in before opening them back up and finding a tear roll down her cheek.

“You said it yourself to your boys only an hour ago… _Honesty is important…_ You clearly have no idea exactly how important that is to me”, he spoke as he swallowed multiple times, trying everything in him to nod wipe that tear off of her face, but he failed.

He raised his hand, cupped her cheek with it and caught the tear that had fallen down. His sudden, affectionate gesture surprised Gwen as her shocked eyes found his piercing blue, but pained ones.

“Blake”, she tried once more with a regretful tone but maybe she had better stayed quite because right after that he immediately took his hand back and closed his own eyes. He took a step backwards.

 “I just—I need some air”, he said as he hastily walked away from her, her hand falling back down from on his arm to beside her body.

He grabbed his coat in the hallway and walked up towards the door. Gwen watched him walk away from her, not even minding to stay put in the hallway a second longer to put his coat on. As if one second longer being in the same room as her would be intoxicating. So with his coat thrown over his arm and between her tears she could make his large body out and saw it disappearing behind the front door.

 

 

 

 

When he was putting on his coat, he just wanted to blindly head for the woods. Bu then suddenly he noticed a small body in the corner of his eyes. Zuma. Sitting down, crossed legged, right in front of his lake. He was throwing tiny stones into the water, as far as he could. Doing just that could just as well be therapy. Blake knew, cause he’d had been there, done that. Acting out his anger by just throwing those damn tiny stones as far as he could.

No matter how much Blake needed to get out of here for a little, just to order his thoughts, he couldn’t let the young man sit there all by himself like that. So he gave in and made his way to Zuma instead. Eventually he sat down right beside him, crossed legged as well.

Zuma didn’t even mind to look up to see who just sat down next to him. Out of the corner of his eyes he had seen Blake approach all along. You couldn’t miss a tall figure like him.

Both of them didn’t say a word for quite some time, as they just sat there, the two of them along with the whistling of birds.

“You don’t have to keep me company just because my mom asked you to, you know?”, Zuma dryly said while throwing another stone into the lake. It flew pretty far this time. Blake snapped his head to the boy.

“You think that’s why I’m here?”, he said, causing Zuma to shrug.

“Why else would you?”, his voice sounded cruel as he faked indifference.

“I actually care about you enough that I just wanted to come sit here”, Blake said causing Zuma to completely ignore his comment.

“And also, who says I’m here for you? Maybe I need to get rid of some anger as well”, Blake got up with plan as he took a few stones up from the ground now as well and with a quick movement, he threw them a long way further into the water. He forgot how good it actually felt to do so.

That had caught Zuma’s attention as he finally found Blake’s eyes for the first time he had sat beside him.

“Why are you angry?”, he asked sweetly all of a sudden. His voice so soft and concerned it reminded him immediately of Gwen.

“How about if I tell you mine, you’ll tell me yours?”, Blake tried to negotiate. He seemed to actually consider it for a while before he just shrugged.

“Or if you don’t want to talk about it, we can just stay here for a while and throw some more stones”, Blake tried again, not wanting Zuma to feel pressured to open up to him. The kid nodded while carefully picking out another stone and he threw it again. Their eyes looked at where the stone reached the water line and how it left a million of tiny waves, making circles appear.

“You can still tell me yours if you want to”, Zuma said causing Blake to turn his head and smile softly at him.

“I had a fight with your mom”, Blake answered honestly, making Zuma nod understandably.

“I also feel bad whenever I have one with her”, he spoke, leaving Blake smile at the kid. “What was it about?”,

Blake closed his eyes as he rewinded the whole thing in his head for a couple of seconds, thinking about how to give the kid an honest, but euphemistical answer.

“I’m sure it was not her intention, but I guess she kind of hurt my feelings”, Blake said, trying to not slip through any anger he has for her right now. The last thing he wants is to ever talk bad about his mom.  

“But I don’t want you to fight”, Zuma exhaled loudly as he gazed down at his hands sadly. “Because apparently that might turn out in us not seeing you again anytime soon”, he spoke wisely, clearly remembering the conversation of his mom and dad breaking up because of fights.

“Are you comparing this with your dad right now?” Blake tried carefully causing Zuma to catch the cowboy’s eyes. Carefully he nodded.

“I’m not going anywhere”, Blake promised while immediately throwing his arm around Zuma’s shoulder to not only comfort Zuma, but also to comfort himself. Only the thought of him not having an actual future with Gwen and the boys scared him. Because that is all he can see for him... and to imagine that falling away ever, to get his heart broken again... he wasn't sure if he would get back up after that. So he pulled the tiny body even closer to him and it was obvious how Zuma immediately had shoved a bit closer to Blake as well. After that a silence fell over them.

“I don’t think it were only the fights though”, Zuma said out of nowhere. Blake frowned, because he had witnessed how Zuma was still genuinely surprised by the news... so he couldn’t ‘ve known about Gavin and his acts of abuse,  just like Kingston did.

“What’s on your mind?” Blake asked him while soothening him by stroking over his arm. 

“I had seen it, you know?”, he spoke softly causing Blake to frown. Is he referring to the abuse after all?

“I had seen my dad kiss her all the time… but I never stopped him… I never said a word about it and I could’ve done something”, he said now, suddenly Blake realised that the kid was angry, not at his mom, or the situation, but at himself. Blake was confused though. He saw his dad kissing her from time to time, so what?

“It has something to do with my dad kissing her,  hasn't it?”, Zuma asked him directly. He had lifted his head up from on Blake’s chest to look the cowboy in his confounded eyes. A deep frown was all over Blake's face. 

“Kiss who, sweetie?”,

Zuma gave Blake a strange look, followed by his mouth droping open... He had thought Blake would’ve known… Hesitantly he spoke again:

“Our nanny”,


	19. nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is like a supeeeer long chapter, so enjoy!!!

Their nanny? Gavin cheated on her with their nanny? Blake kept repeating those exact words to himself over and over again in pure disbelief. Who does such a thing? As his thoughts kept racing through his mind, he suddenly noticed how two brown eyes were still staring at him, slightly scared for what his reaction will be. Instantly Blake felt heavy hearted as the kid clearly was worried about how he was going to react to this new information. Instead of even showing the tiniest peace of all the anger that was boiling inside him towards Gavin right now, he decided to shove his feelings to the side. So he put on a friendly expression while he laid his arm around Zuma’s shoulder for an embrace.

“Ok”, It was the first thing Blake finally said while he even squeezed the tiny body closer to his.

“Maybe I should’ve kept my mouth shut for once, but no I always keep on rambling on about everything, really like my teacher says it as well but—“

“Z-man!”, Blake chuckled quietly. “It’s ok, I’m glad you told me”, Comfortingly Blake’s hand caressed over the little man’s arm. “You have to know that you can tell me everything, no matter what it is about, ok?”,

Zuma raised his gaze up and found Blake’s blue eyes. The cowboy couldn’t help but notice in what kind of a state of surprise and pure amazement the kid was right now. It also had taken Zuma a few seconds until he came back to earth and quickly nodded. Soon he was examining some trees far in front of him again, haphazardly taking a few stones from the ground and firing them up in the air until they reached the water board again.

“Hey Zum?”, Blake disturbed the silence on which Zuma carelessly hummed. “Did um… Did your mom know about the nanny?”,

His little head bent Blake’s way again and he nodded.  “She did, yeah”, he whispered wistfully, while nervously playing with his own hands. “One day the kissing stopped, a new nanny came along and not much later my parents started fighting”,

Blake nodded while giving him an appreciative smile for being that honest. A minute passed in complete silence when in the course of time Blake told Zuma to head back inside soon. Only a second later Blake pushed his body up from the ground and excused himself. He had ruffled the boys blond hairs a last time before he then took big steps towards the woods, disappearing in between the trees to think for a while.

Blake could feel his heart shatter in a million pieces, Gwen didn’t deserve any of this. But not only was he thinking about the beautiful blond that was impatiently waiting for him to come back inside.. No, he also started to see flashbacks creeping through his brain, about how his marriage had come to an end. Suddenly all of his pain was real again. He could feel some tears prickle in his eyes and he just decided to ignore them. Miranda was the last person that deserved his tears.

But anyhow as he kept on walking further into the woods, he felt one fall over his cheek anyway. But this time there was more to it than just the memory of his cheating ex-wife… because before he even realised he was picturing Gwen’s eyes again, and how hurt they had looked when he decided to leave her there in the kitchen. God he hated all of this.

Somewhere deep down in his hear, Blake’s heart was also aching about the fact that she hadn’t opened up about the cheating to him yet. Was she ashamed about this? Because she was the victim so truly, she shouldn’t be. She should be able to tell him everything… but then again, that was exactly why he was in the woods in the first place. Why he and Gwen had had a fight.

 

 

 

 

 

“Mom, where is Blake?”, Kingston asked when he returend from the kitchen, hoping to have found him there. Gwen simply shrugged.

“I have no idea”, she answered while staring in front of her and sucking on her bottom lip, trying but failing to pretend everything was alright. With all that she got, she focused on Apollo who was sitting on her lap and brought her fingers through his curls.

“He promised to go make a ford with us today”, Kingston used his whining voice while taking a few steps closer to her, eventually landing down on the arm of the couch. His head tilted, to catch his mom’s eyes. When he finally achieved that goal,  he could see the hurt in her eyes causing him to swallow.

“Did something happen?”, he asked with a soft and worried tone. He allowed his body to lean backwards and fall with his back against the couch. With his limbs, he crawled towards his mom and threw an arm around her shoulder. His mom then finally locked eyes with him and gave him a petite smile. On the other side of Gwen, Zuma was sitting, who had just come back from his lake talk with the cowboy. Kingston’s question ad immediately caught his attention as he followed the further conversation.

“I made a mistake and he got mad”, Gwen answered Kingston honestly. She was done with not telling them everything, she was done with lying.

“He told me he felt hurt”, She heard Zuma say all of a sudden. Hesitantly she tilted her head towards her younger man and looked at him with full confusion all over her face.

“Blake”, Zuma clarified. “He kept me company outside and he had looked sad… So I asked him what was wrong and he just told me he was hurting…”, When Zuma saw Gwen’s eyes fall and the disappointment in herself grow even bigger, he felt the need to add some more to it.  “But he also said he was sure it wasn’t your intention to do so”,

“I didn’t. It was stupid, I didn’t want to hurt him”, Gwen whispered underneath her breathe while she looked down at Apollo again who was still staring at the cartoon on the television. His eyes were totally mesmerised by the screen as he seemed so peaceful and unaware of what was going on. Just when Gwen’s mind filled up with some happy thoughts about her youngest and how little he needs to be cheerful and satisfied, she heard Kingston clear his throat.

“You like him, don’t you?”, Her head snapped up to her oldest who tilted his hand up to casually stroke through his youngest brother’s curls as well. Gwen knew he did that on purpose, playing it cool when he asked such a serious question. Just to lift the weight off of the question and she loved her boy for doing that. But yet she was so taken aback by the question as her mouth literally dropped open, her eyes had widened, but not a word came out.

“It’s ok if you do”, Kingston spoke eventually again, but this time looking his mom in the eye.

“You really feel like that?”, He nodded while she glanced over at Zuma as well, who just gave her a short smile, not really minding to share his opinion. After that she suddenly felt Apollo crawl out of her lap to partly lay on top of his oldest brother, leaving all of them share a few laughs.

“So anyway, you two should know that this is on me. Don’t blame him for not making a fort today. I’m sure he’ll do it one day”, she had just finished her sentence when out of nowhere the door to the backyard opened. The large cowboy walked in, shortly followed by Betty. The dog walked up to the kids who all flew up immediately to go pet the dog.

Gwen laughed until she could hear Blake’s chuckle as well. Both of them immediately returned to their serious faces when they could feel the tension in the air.

“So we gonna go make a fort or what?”, he asked then causing all the boys to shout out enthusiastic, with the widest grins on their face.

“Well go put your camo coats and boots on then!” He said with a smile, taking over their excitement. All three of them immediately started running towards the hallway to get their boots out. A few seconds of them trying to put their boots on later, Zuma noticed how his mom hadn’t followed them out of the living room. He frowned.

“Mom, you’re not coming along?”, His shout came from out of the hallway and Gwen shook her head.

“I think I’m staying here”, she answered him. Out of the corner of her eyes she saw Blake move closer to her so shyly she turned her head towards his direction. And for the first time since he walked out, she saw his ocean blue eyes. They didn’t seem as angry and hurt any longer as a few hours earlier, but they were still far away from how warm and loving they usually are. There were many frown lines between his eyebrows.

“You can come along, you know?”, he nonchalantly decided to say with a shrug. His voice was still kind of cold but she knew he wouldn’t want her to feel obligated to stay inside.

“No I’m good”, she decided to say a bit nervously. “Take the boys _, I trust you_ ”, she picked the last words so carefully. An almost unnoticeable, but yet there, smile came to his lips when he nodded. He passed her by then to go check on the boys in the hallway. But in a brisk way, she grasped for his hand.

She saw how he tilted his head her way and looked at her surprised. Instead of holding his hands tightly, she let go of the grip and just let her hand fall in his instead. It took bits of the tension away as both of them felt more relaxed because of it already.

“You know that I’m sorry, right?”, She had been kicking herself when she realised she hadn’t even told him those words until now. So he smiled at her a bit sadly before  he nodded. His eyes weren’t smiling along, not at all, and she could see how much she had actually hit a nerve.

“Yeah I know”, She felt him squeeze her hand for a very small second before he let go and walked up to Apollo, helping him take his boots on.

She grunted reluctantly while she let her body fall down on the couch. She didn’t know if him still being this sweet was a good thing. Why can’t he just be mad at her, or shout out or whatever like normal human beings? No instead he gives her really small smiles and squeezes in her hand. She felt bad enough already for hurting him, it makes it even worse how perfect he is 24/7.

 

 

 

 

 

“Blake?”, Kingston was carrying a huge branch towards him. The cowboy hummed while taking it over from him and putting it down in the ground next to the others. Zuma was a little further into the woods, looking for a branch as strong and large as the ones they have been using ‘till now. Yet he wasn’t that far, as Blake could see him and was making sure to not lose any of the three out of his sight, not even for a single second. From time to time he did have to shout out to one of them to come a bit closer again. Meanwhile Apollo was picking up leaves and laying it in the fort as ‘floor’. Apollo never left Blake’s side, so he wasn’t difficult to keep an eye on at all.

“You have my permission”, Kingston said, causing Blake to look over his shoulder at the nine year old.

“For what?”, Blake asked him a bit confused as in the meantime he was trying to put the branch into the ground, to make it stand up straight.

“To like my mom. I’m ok with it”, He heard the boy casually say. Blake had to frown while he let go of the branch now and completely focused on King. Vagually he heard the branch hit the ground with a thud.

“What? How ummm--?  Just like that?” He stumbled out clumsy as all at once he got nervous and started to scratch his head.

“Yeah—You just make her happy”, The kid started laughing with how Blake was acting, if he wouldn’t ‘ve known better, he would swear he could hear Blake’s heart beat. Before the cowboy found the right words to say, he felt Apollo’s tiny hand reached out towards his camo shirt and pulled it a few times.

“Up! Up!”, He shouted, causing Blake’s dimples to pop out as he crouched down and took him in his arms. When he was holding the toddler up again and felt his hand reach for his ear, he concentrated his attention back on King.

“Why now? I mean so suddenly?”, he asked genuinely interested in the answer as he finally started to get the control back over his nerves.

“Because today you were upset with her… and without you secretly hugging her when we’re not watching, she was really sad”, Blake gave the kid a weird glance, surprised he had seen him snuggle with his mom, even after trying his hardest to control himself and being so careful.         At first Kingston let out a laugh because of it, but soon he got serious again.

“… I haven’t seen her so sad for such a long time… and I just need her to be happy”, he said making Blake nod in agreement.

“I need her to be happy, too, buddy”, he answered the kid, and never had he spoken words more truthfully.

“Good”, Kingston smiled. “Can you promise that you will make her happy?”,

Blake’s face softened by how carrying this nine year old was and without a doubt, Blake nodded.

“I promise I’ll make her happy for as long as she lets me”, Kingston gave him one more glance before beaming at the man. After that, without saying another word, King ran away again to help Zuma find a few more branches.

 

 

Gwen had noticed the boys enter the ranch again while all three of them threw stories around her head about how good the fort looked, as they rambled that Blake had taken a  hundredths of photos from it. They told her about how Betty had token a swim in the lake and how she looked very weird when he came back out, with her hair completely drenched. Gwen laughed mostly at all of their stories but she did find her eyes wander at one point towards Blake who just sneaked out of the living room very quickly and disappeared upstairs.

When dinner time came up, Gwen made all of them some pasta as she still listened to some fort stories and jokes that Blake had told them in the meantime. And every time they mentioned his name, she couldn’t help but stare at the other side of the table, where an empty chair was. His chair.

I mean, they didn’t always eat together, but when they did he always sits right there. And no matter if he’s around or not, all four of them kept it empty lately… because it was Blake’s place… And now that she thinks about it, that chair hadn’t been empty but for the first two days that they had arrived here. After those days, he had been by their side almost the entire time.. and now he wasn’t here. All the stories had been told at one point and then a silence fell over the table. All of them ate in silence, what really never happens. So when Gwen looks at her boys one by one, to check up on what was going on, she noticed how they all secretly peeked at the empty chair as well. They all missed his presence already.

After dinner Gwen decided to distract her boys by playing a few card games and watching a few more cartoons until bedtime arrived again. And until then she hadn’t seen Blake. She had heard him come down stairs once, but only for a couple of minutes because in a matter of a seconds she had heard his footsteps on the stairs again. He probably just grabbed something to eat. She sighed.

A few cartoons later, she tucked her boys in, read Apollo a bedtime story and before she knew it, she felt herself close the door of her room behind her. With much effort she took her clothes out, to eventually let her nightdress fall down over head. She actually felt hurt and angry by now. Because yes, sure, she should’ve told him… but ignoring her like a seven year old? Jesus. So without giving it a second though she went to her bathroom, took her toothbrush and toothpaste and walked up towards Blake’s room.

Considering with everything that had happened today, Blake had forgotten to ask someone to fix the water in her bathroom, which gave her the perfect excuse to use his. She opened his door carefully, afraid he might actually already be sleeping, but as soon as she saw some light slip through the crack of the door, she opened it a bit more abruptly.

Blake was sitting on his bed, reading a book, and his eyes flew up to find hers.

“Hey”, She whispered while giving him a short smile. All the anger she felt for him ignoring her, disappeared the moment she saw the figure of his body again. Blake lowered his hands and let the book fall down on his lap, not saying a word.

“I just, um need to –“, she held her tooth brush in the air causing Blake to nod towards the bathroom.

“Go ahead”, he mumbled, as he immediately picked his book up again and from that moment on pretended she wasn’t even there any longer. So she walked up towards his bathroom, switched the light on and started to actually brush her teeth. The mirror reflected herself in it, and she just was staring herself in the eye. Today, she truly didn’t like the person she was seeing. As she was so concentrated on staring at herself in disbelief, she had completely stopped brushing her teeth. She just simply stood there with her brush in her mouth.

She hadn’t heard him move from the bed either, but out of nowhere, through the mirror, she saw him appear. He passed her and walked up to right beside her, at the second lavabo. His eyes had only briefly found hers and it brought her back to live as she started brushing her teeth again.

She secretly observed him as she saw him reaching for his toothbrush as well.

Eventually they stood there, arms almost brushing each other, in his bathroom, both brushing their teeth. It would’ve felt domestic if it wouldn’t ‘ve been for the tension hanging around them.

Once Gwen had spit her toothpaste out and had cleared her mouth with some water, she stood straight up, simply staring at the man beside her. He couldn’t ignore the burning of her eyes any longer as he returned the gaze and locked his eyes with hers through the mirror. A couple seconds later he had to bent down to spit out his toothpaste and use some water.

“We should talk about this”, Gwen eventually said once Blake had laid his toothbrush back down. He shrugged.

“Not now, please”, Blake said as he was just gonna casually walk passed her again, but she didn’t let him. Instead she took his arm and made him stop.

“Talk to me”, she almost begged on which he shook his arm loose from her and stepped out of the bathroom.

“I said not now”, he mumbled.

“Well and I do say now!”, Gwen suddenly raised her voice, convincing Blake to stop in his tracks. He stayed still though, didn’t turn her way. Nope. He just stayed right there, frozen.

“I am sorry, Blake! What else can I say to make this right? Because whatever it is, I’ll say it”,

Finally he turned around and faced her. He took a deep breath in as his eyes were looking at her drastically.

“I let you walk away from me twice and I forgave you twice. I break up with Anna because risking my heart a third time is better than not trying to be with you at all. I made myself look ridiculous just to see a smile on your face. I helped you come up with this plan, to get away from him. I took you and your boys under my wing. I even bought a crib for Apollo and bought them toys so they’d feel like home here. I welcomed you all in my home… I gave you a home.”, Gwen heard his voice crack causing tears the dwell up in her eyes. He took a long pause as he threw his eyes down. A second later he found hers again as he started to speak up.

“I gave you my heart, Gwen. And all I needed in return was for you to trust me. For you to let me in, to be honest, to tell _me_ whatever you’re afraid to say out loud… but you didn’t… -- So no. I don’t wanna talk about it right now, because whatever I say, it will hurt you. And I don’t—“

He paused while looking away from her. “And I don’t want to do that, so it’s better if for now, you just leave this room”, When he looked back up at her, he saw many tears roll down her cheeks as she quickly tried to wipe them away. She nodded then as she walked up to the door and disappeared in her room. All in once, respecting his wishes.

Blake threw his head back and looked at the ceiling. He heard the door close behind her and it made him close his eyes. A loud sigh escaped his lips. _He hates to see her cry._

For a couple of minutes he laid down on his bed, staring at the ceiling. He tried to get the picture of a crying Gwen out of his mind but he couldn’t. It got even worse as he started to imagine how little she’ll sleep tonight just because of what he said. How if she did sleep, it would be because she cried herself to it, _because of what he had said._

And all he had said was true. He did do all these things, for her. But what he had left out was how he wouldn’t change it for the world. That whatever happened, he would never take a different decision. Also he had made those decisions by himself, she didn’t force him to… suddenly he couldn’t handle this any longer.

He climbed out of bed and walked up at her door. For another minute he paced around but eventually he got to her door again. He stayed there put for quite some time, with his hand on the door handle already, when eventually he found the courage to bring the handle down. He carefully opened the door and saw Gwen sitting with her elbows on top of her knees, hiding her face in her hands. She was sitting on the edge of the bed and he knew she was crying.

He closed the door behind him and hesitantly walked up to where she was sitting. Very softly he sat down on the edge of the bed beside her. He noticed how her body suddenly tensed up once she was aware of his presence. But yet she didn’t bring her head up as she kept it buried in her hands.

It felt like they had sat there for an hour, when in real life it was a couple of long minutes in complete silence. Blake decided to give her some time to compose herself. But when she seemed to not be able to, as she was too ashamed to look up, he eventually knew he had to make the first move.

Slightly he moved his body her way and it broke his heart to see her like this. Out of pure reflex, he brought his hand up towards her. It landed on her back and made very soft circles.

“I’m sorry”, he said while letting out a huge sigh causing her to shake her head, not wanting him to apologize. “No, I am. I am sorry, because of what I had said earlier… All of it is true, but I wouldn’t ever change a thing. I don’t blame you for any of it– well but the lying”, he mumbled under his breath. “I made all of those decisions.. you didn’t force me to do anything, you didn’t force me to break up with Anna, you didn’t force me to want you… you didn’t force me to love you”,

Her hands left her face as her eyebrows flew up, causing her eyes to grow bigger. They immediately snapped up to his.

“You love me?”, She asked while sounding genuinely surprised with her mouth falling to the ground. Blake chuckled.

“Is that really a surprise to you?”, he frowned, while still chuckling because of his nerves, and she still had that startled gaze in her eyes.

“But… even after all this, you still—“, she paused while biting her lip softly. “You still love me?”

An incredible, bizarre chuckle filled the air, as he just looked at her.

“Sweetheart, you have no idea”, he said then causing Gwen to softly smile as she bashfully looked away from him while a soft blush came to her cheeks.

“Come here”, His country accent said, and Gwen looked back up at him. As she did so, she felt both of his hands cup her cheeks gently. With soft strokes, he wiped his thumb over her skin, getting rid of the tiny mascara lines caused by her tears.

“I hate to see you cry”, he said then.”So don’t ok?”, He adorable said, causing her to chuckle a bit. Within a few seconds, Gwen her body moved closer to his and his hands left her cheeks. Instead they found a place around her back, holding her close. Her arms fell around his lower waist as she nuzzled her nose in his chest. “I am so sorry”, she mumbled in his shirt as she tried everything in her to not break down in sobs right now. Blake’s hand was stroking over her back, to calm her down while making hushing noises. “I know, it’s ok”,

“I’m afraid”, She spoke then out of nowhere. “I’m afraid that my mess will keep on coming up and that you’ll give up on trying to save me. I’m afraid I’ll drive you away from me… so that’s why I didn’t tell you. Not because I don’t trust you… because I do”, Blake softly pulled out of their embrace to look at her. But her eyes stayed down as she reached her hand out to take one of his.

“I’m afraid to give my heart away and for it to be shattered again”, she whispered while now carefully finding his blue eyes. They seemed so attentive and loving again, it started to warm her heart.

“He shattered your heart more than you dare to admit, hasn’t he?”, He asked her, now that he was aware of the whole story behind Gavin Rossdale. The not only abusive but also cheating husband.

“He didn’t only break me physically… it started out mentally”, she said while Blake moved his thumb over her finger.

“He cheated”, she said softly while she closed her eyes, trying to hold the tears from falling. She looked up at him and a small frown came to her face. “You knew already”, she said then causing him to nod slowly.

“How?”

“Zuma told me”, Her eyes closed as she nodded.

“The day I found out was the worst day of my life, but at the same time it was the best one as well”, Blake frowned as he gave her a confused glance.

“Your best one as well?”, he asked eventually, making Gwen nod.

“It was the day I met you”, A smile grew on her face then, especially when she saw his frown get even bigger. “Gavin and I had spend the weekend in Oklahoma to visit a friend of his. We were on our way home when we got lost in all these small streets around here. And one way or another we apparently had arrived here, in Tishomingo… Our GPS wasn’t working, so he told me to take his phone and use google maps, and as I did so”, she let out a bitter chuckle while rolling her eyes. “There was a text of Mindy, our nanny”, she scratched the top of her head when in the meantime she started to retrieve her hand from his. But he didn’t let her as he quickly grasped her hand again. He didn’t want her to shy away from him. She gave him a sweet smile before she went on.

“Let’s just say it was a way too happy text for just her boss coming back home…”

 

 

 

_I could feel my eyes start tearing up as I read the text a fifth time._

_ Yaaaay I can’t wait for u to be back home ;) I missed you, your kisses and mostly your body ;) Get here soon, handsome! _

_A single tear had to roll down on my cheek for Gavin to start noticing something hadn’t been right._

_“Gwen? Sweetie?”, How did he even dare to call me sweetie right now? I dropped the Iphone down on my lap as I eventually looked up and stared in front of me. I gazed into the distance, in the streets as I could feel my entire world fall apart._

_“Gwen?’, He even moved his hand towards my leg and I let it happen for a few seconds before I finally was able to jump up._

_“Stop the damn car”, I said on a neutral, quite tone._

_“What?”, he asked a bit astonished._

_“Stop the damn car!”, I cried out then while looking at him in disbelief._

_“Gwen, what the hell! I can’t stop!”,_

_“I mean it, Gavin! Stop the car!”, My heart started to pound as my tears were streaming down my face by then and I could hear how hysteric I was sounding. And the other thing I could see was the moment when he finally realised what was going on. His eyes travelled to his phone and then back up at me._

_“I can’t! We’re in the middle of the freaking road!”_

_“I swear to God! If you don’t stop this car right now, I’m going to jump out of this moving vehicle!”_

_So in a brisk movement, he pushed on the brake and the car stopped driving all together. In a matter of a second I had jumped out of the car and had slapped the door closed._

_I took a few steps further on the road as I tried to breathe properly. I could hear his voice coming from behind me, but all I could think about in that moment was how nauseous I was. I quickly ran to the side of the road, a bit further into the woods as I started to gag._

_I leaned down and I could feel my stomach turn upside down as the thought of my husband screwing my kid theirs nanny. And by that I threw up._

_“Gwen, let me explain”, he said then as a bit later his hand touched my arm. I let out a sob as I snapped my arm away from his._

_“Don’t you dare touch me!”, I cried out while I took a few steps away from him. “You won’t touch me ever again!”, I said with a bitter chuckle as I kept taking a few steps backwards._

_He followed me and his hands came to both sides of my arms._

_“Get back in the car with me”, he ordered then and as I took a step back and I tried to shake his hands off of me. But the opposite happened as he took a better grip on them and squeezed them way too tight._

_“Jesus Gwen, listen to me!”, he cried out and I winced._

_“Let go of me!”, but he didn’t. Instead as I kept on resisting his touch, I felt his hand burn on my arms. Suddenly I could feel my back being thrown against a tree. I gasped while I could feel my body stiffen with fear when I saw the sparkle of pure anger in his eyes._

_“Gavin, you’re hurting me”, I tried then as I stared him deeply in the eye, trying to get through to him._

_“I won’t have to if you just step back inside the car with me”,_

_I was scared. So I nodded. His hands eventually softened on my arms and I knew there would be marks of his hands there._

_He took a step away from me as he pointed at his car and tried to lead me to it. But no way in hell I was going to step in that car with him by my side again._

_So instead I took him by surprised and started running in the other direction. Into the woods. I could hear him let out a ‘shit’ when soon his footsteps were right behind me._

_I knew I was in a pretty good shape, most likely better than him, so I kept on running and running. And I’m sure I would’ve shaken him off if it wouldn’t ‘ve been for that root from a tree and that damn snow that had been covering it. Before I knew it, I felt my body being smashed against the ground. I crawled further on the snow as I cried out, completely terrified._

_It only took me a second to get back on top of my hands and knees. But my knees were hurting and it took me a bit longer to get back up on my feet. So instead I decided to crawl further a bit, causing to get cuts all over my arms. And then all at once when I was trying to get back up, I could feel a hand on my back, pressing me back down. Causing my stomach to forcefully collide with the ground again. On my ribs and in that moment, the air literally was being knocked out of me._

_I found the strength to turn myself around and fall down on my back. Suddenly I was faced with that mischievous smirk on his lips._

_“Get in the damn car!”,_

_And then a rush of adrenaline ran through my veins as I started to creep backwards on my hands. I pushed myself back up on my arms, and in a second I was standing up, leaving him quite surprised._

_I gave him one more glance while shaking my head and after that I turned around. I started running again, I didn’t even fell how bad my body was hurting right then. All I could think about was running. He followed me for a while but then I could hear him give up._

_“Whatever, Gwen! Keep on running, you’ll come back! You’ll see!”, I could hear him shout those words, but I didn’t let them get to me. I kept on moving my legs…_

_And at one point they did no longer. My body crashed and I could feel the pain catching up with me. My body ached, my knees burned while the other parts of my body were simply shivering. Everything went black._

“And the next time that I opened my eyes, there you were. Those blue, concerned eyes. With next to you RaeLynn. And the next thing I heard was your country accent telling me that everything is ok, that you just wanted to help. And somehow I believed you”, Gwen said and Blake nodded with a soft smile.

“Why hadn’t you told me this before?”, He asked her while squeezing her hand. She smiled a bit awkwardly. 

“Because isn’t it crazy enough already that I stayed with an abusive husband? How would anyone feel about me wanting to even stay with not only an abusive but also a cheating one?... I didn’t want you think of me as a powerless human being… a weak one”

“Weak? You wanted to stay with an abusive, cheating man just to protect your boys. Baby, weak is the last word that would come to mind”, He said then while picking her hand up and placing a soft kiss on her hand. She smiled softly. _He called her baby._

“You told me you were afraid earlier…”, Blake started to speak while he stroked his fingers over the palm of her hand a bit nervous,  he waited to go on until he saw Gwen nod. “Are you afraid to love me back?”, he tilted his head to get a better look at her. A smile conquered up on her face while she shook her head softly.

“Oh boy, I’m afraid it’s already way too late for that”,

Blake tried to hold his grin back, but failed. He was about to say something, just anything at all to fill the sudden silence, but then Gwen surprised him once more.

“I love you, too, Blake”

Slowly Blake moved his hands towards her cheeks. Her insecure eyes found his and he couldn’t help but smile as butterflies filled his stomach. He leaned in nuzzled his nose to hers. A big smile grew on her as she closed her eyes while she could feel him leaning closer and closer. Her arms were sneaked around his neck, pulling him as close towards her body as possible.

“What about your promise to Kingston?”, Gwen found herself whispering

“The promise changed”, Blake said and suddenly he felt Gwen move away from him. His eyes opened again and met her confused ones.

“Changed as in what?”, she asked surprised, causing Blake to chuckle. Sometimes he can’t believe how adorable she gets without even trying.

“Well um, it’s a bit cheesy actually”, Just when he was about to bring his hand up to nervously scratch his neck a few times, Gwen’s hand fell down on his wrist and pulled it back down. She gave him a grin as she laid his arm down on top of his lap. After that she intertwined her fingers with his.

“Tell me anyway”,

 “While building a fort, he told me he did no longer mind me liking his mom, but he asked me to make another promise”, Blake said and he almost chuckled again because of Gwen’s big curious eyes.

“I promised him to make you happy for as long as you let me”, Blake spoke then while letting out an adorable small chuckle. Gwen was beaming at him with her loving eyes as she bit her lips softly. She loosened their locked hands and brought her hands back up to his neck.

“You’re the sweetest”, She whispered with a wide smile on her face.

Blake leaned in again, trying to get back to the romantic atmosphere. Gwen tried to get back there as well, as she leaned in as well but the second they were only a few inches away from each other’s lips again, she started to giggle.

Blake’s eyes opened and Gwen started to full on giggle right now. Blake laughed along while he asked her what was wrong but she just shook her head.

“No no, never mind”, she tightened her arms again and leaned into him. Blake’s arms went around her waist, his lips went up to hers a second time and when he could feel her breathe on his skin, he heard her let out a secret huff again.

“Oh my God! What’s wrong?”, Blake asked while pulling back and laughing out loud. Gwen couldn’t help but burst out in laughter while she let herself fall down on the bed. Blake followed her eyes but kept on sitting up straight. He gave her an amused but questioning look.

“I just keep on imagining what your face would’ve been like when King told you that you have his permission”, She said in between her laughter. Blake started laughing along as he kept on shaking his head. But most of all he just looked at her, laying down on the bed, laughing so very loudly and hard that tears came to her eyes. She wiped her eyes a couple of times before she started to calm down and just searched for his eyes again. A big smile still on her face.

“What did you say?”,

“Nothing, mostly, I was just standing there, looking at him like a fool”, That made Gwen throw her head back again, letting out a few more giggles. And his heart filled with joy by just seeing her so very happy. But once she was done laughing, she gave him an adoring look.

“Come here”, she said then with a sweet voice, while her arms were reaching out for him. Her hands locked around his neck once again and drew him closer to her. One of his hands landed on the mattress right beside her head as he allowed her to pull him down to her.

“Now kiss me already”, she whispered adorably. Blake chuckled as he obeyed and cupped her cheek with his free hand. When the scent of his cologne hit her, she knew he was nearby. His lips finally landed on top of hers and her body immediately reacted by pulling him down on the bed completely now. That way they both ended up laying on their sides, facing each other as their lips never left one another.

The tenderness of the kiss made her body tingle as for a minute they just kept on kissing gently, soft pecks. Just them enjoying each other’s presence.

And then Blake could feel Gwen smile into their kisses, causing him to want to see that smile of hers again. He could never get enough of that. So he pulled away slightly and opened his eyes. He tilted his hands up to stroke up from over her soft cheeks to slowly move his fingers through her hair.

“You’re so beautiful, I can’t believe it”, he said without even realising. Gwen blushed as she pulled her body even closer to his. Their noses were touching again and Gwen decided to answer him with another kiss. Her lips met his as she took his bottom lip with hers now for a long kiss.

A soft giggle filled the air when she started to move her legs and tangled one of them with his. He chuckled as well as she ended laying practically on top of him. But his chuckle died of the second he felt her lips leave his for a tiny second as she tilted her head the other side, swiping her hair along. The next time her lips were meeting his, he could feel her lips being slightly parted. He got the hint.

He lightly swept the tip of his tongue over her lower lip, causing her to smile as she widened her lips and gave him access. Only a couple of seconds later, she could feel his tongue against hers as his hands had fallen down on top of the small of her back, caressing circles. A soft moan had left Gwen’s lips. But the second that the kiss started to heat up, his hands raised higher on her back and ended up cupping both of her cheeks.

They took a pause to breathe, their foreheads staying locked as they even opened their eyes for a small second to give each other a short smile. He lifted his head up then to desperately find her lips again and Gwen slowly started to trace her hands over his chest as they do so. Eventually they found the end of his shirt and moved her hands under it. They explored his bare chest, as they stroke all the way up, causing a soft moan to come from Blake now.

His hands went on exploration as well as one of them carefully went to cup her ass.

Gwen eventually took it a step further as she crawled over Blake completely, straddling him. Her arms went around his neck as she pulled herself to sit up and dragged him along with her.

A bit bashfully she moved her hands towards the edge of his shirt again and slowly started to pull it up. When the shirt reached their head sight, they needed to pause their kiss for a second as she pulled it over his head. The second she had thrown it a little further on the bed; she felt  Blake lean into her, pecking her lips once as he then left kisses along her jaw line. Eventually he went down to kiss on her neck and when he held it a bit longer, softly sucking on her skin, another moan escaped.

He could feel her nails softly trace over his back as his hands travelled to her tights. He moved them up, under her nightdress, to eventually land on the skin of the small of her back. His hands pulled her body closer to his, their chest meeting one another, as there suddenly was a diverse height change. Her head was above his, as she was the one to lean down to brush her lips with his. She was now sitting on his growing erection and she was very well aware of that.

Her hand moved up to the back of his head as she traced her fingers over his scalp and eventually pulled his hair shortly. His hands moved to the nightdress and softly started to pull it up her body. Even though she didn’t protested at all and even kissed him harder because of it, he had to pull back for a second.

“May I?”, he asked with a cute smile, leaving Gwen nod multiple times. She threw her arms in the air, leaving it easier for Blake to pull the nightdress over her head. Both of them chuckled once he still was able to get one of her arms stuck in it, but the second they got it off, they started to get more serious. Both of them got nervous in that moment and Blake obviously saw that she was feeling the same way.

“Do you want this? Because we can wait”, Blake asked her causing Gwen to smile brightly.

“No. I want this, I don’t want to wait”, she said while she leaned in and quickly pushed her lips on his. “What about you?”, she asked then.

“I want you”, he said with a smile. “All of you”, That made Gwen bite her lip as suddenly Blake started to move and pulled her in his arms. One way or another, Blake found a way to push himself off of the bed, along with Gwen wrapped in his arms bridal wise. He walked up to the door that leads to his room. Obviously he was thinking about the boys and about how they could easily walk into Gwen’s room. So instead he walked them towards his and the second he closed the door behind him, he moved his hand towards the lock.

Gwen giggled when she heard the door lock and soon she was laying on the cowboy’s bed, with him on top, gently taking her lips with his. Wow.


	20. twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's been a month, I know! But some of you kept on stalking me to update, haha, so here I am again!   
> Let me know if you're still liking this or whatever! :)

His lips travelled down to her neck as she threw her head back. He left kisses all the way from her jaw line to her neck, while she moved her hand towards his neck. Softly her fingernails stroked over his neck, finding a weak spot, as she could feel him let out a quite chuckle, yet not taking his lips off of her skin for a second.

Gwen smiled even wider when she heard that familiar chuckle, just another reminder of him actually being here with her, leaving kisses so gently all of her body. And God… he loves her, she can barely believe it.

Her fingers went through his hairs as he softly sucked at a part of her skin, causing Gwen to let out a soft moan. She pulled his hair then, making him pull his head up. With a happy grin his eyes met hers, and Gwen couldn’t help but giggle softly as she traced her hand to his cheek and softy caressed her nails over his scruff.

“I love you”,

His grin grew softer as a sweet smile appeared. His eyes screamed the words right back just before he started to slowly move in again. The next time his lips met hers, it was for such a sweet and tender kiss, Gwen’s arms automatically found their way back around his neck.

Blake started to sit up on his knees, taking Gwen along with him. Their lips kept connected as his hand caressed up over her spine, until they met the soft material of her bra. His hands gently fizzled at it, trying to unlock it.

As soon as he succeeded, Gwen moved her arms down to get rid of the thing while in the meantime she gave Blake a shy smile. At the other side, Blake smiled right back for a few seconds until he felt his nerves raise back up to his brain. So he bit his lips softly while looking at her. Not long after that he could feel her arms back around him and her nose nuzzling at his.

That gained Blake some time to take a deep breath in while eventually letting out a content sigh.

“You ok?”, Blake decided to ask her as his eyes opened up to find hers still closed. Her head nodded before she opened her eyes again.

“Yes”, she bit her lip again, while she nodded her head a second time. “You?”

“Slightly nervous, but ok”, That caused Gwen to grin at him brightly. Her hands moved on his neck and started to softly caress down on his bare back as she tilted her body even closer to his.

“Why are you nervous?”, Gwen asked him, knowing it wasn’t really a fair question. Especially because she had been feeling kind of the same way. He chuckled while thinking for seconds, eventually ending up shrugging while shaking his head. He let out another laugh before he met her eyes again.

“I have no idea”, he chuckled once more. “I guess just because it’s _you_ , you know?”

Gwen frowned while she halted her hands movement to fully get his attention.

“Blake”, She whispered kind of surprised. “You’re the king of country, honestly, you shouldn’t be so surprised to find yourself in this position”,

A smile formed on his face. “Babe that’s not what I meant”, he said.

“Yes you’re the Gwen Stefani and I love the Gwen Stefani a lot. But that’s not the main reason I fell in love with you. What I meant was that it’s you. Grace. My Gwen. The girl that makes my heart jump up all of the time… and that’s just crazy”, An adorable smile came to his features. “And that’s probably why I’m nervous”, 

“You don’t have to be”, she whispered immediately while softly placing a kiss on his lips. “You don’t have to be just because of that reason. Just because it’s only me… it’s _just Gwen_ ”, she said while her fingertips caressed over his scalp into his curls.

“You’re so much more than that”,  The last thing Blake saw before his eyes closed again was the happiest grin on her face. Her lips planted themselves on top of his for a long, demanding kiss.

Blake’s hand moved to her back as he gently started to lower both of their bodies back down on the mattress. Her hands tightly holding onto his middle, as she forcefully kept on kissing him.

“You’re still wearing way too much clothes”, Gwen mumbled against his lips at one point, making both of them giggle, before their lips and tongues found each other again. In the meantime Gwen blindly started to reach for his belt and to her own surprise was able to open it quite easily. Eventually it got unzipped as well as Blake clumsily moved his legs in all kinds of direction to kick them off of his feet. All of that just because he could no longer miss the feeling of her warm lips against his. Of her tongue fighting his for dominance. Of feeling her hands all over his body, to eventually now lend back to resting on his beating heart.

Her tiny hands shyly went down over his back while Blake started to lower his kisses. Starting right on her soft lips, going down on her neck, on her collarbone, along her breasts… when he reached her stomach he glanced back up to smile at her. Another kiss lowering on her stomach while his hands caressed over her sights down to her panties.

Gently he started to lower them down her legs, leaving a pattern of kisses down her legs as well.

Blake moved back up and found Gwen grinning up at him. He placed his kisses all the way back up on her legs. He kept on leaving kisses down on her body, until he eventually reached the spot that had her toes curling. A sudden gasp escaped Gwen’s lips and Blake could feel her one hand pulling his hair. Her other hand went into a fist, grabbing the sheets desperately. As the tease Blake is, he started dragging his tongue through her folds, lapping up her wetness already there. Gwen softly moaned as she felt his name on her lips. Blake smirked as he took her clit with his lips and softly rolled it between his teeth. For a couple more seconds he sucked softly, as his hands gently massaged her tights.

But as the pleasure kept on building, Gwen’s back arched and she raised her hips up to him. He chuckled.

“You’re greedy”, He whispered against her skin while he started to slide a curling finger into her body.

 Her breathe stoked as his name now rolled over her lips. Her hand had travelled down to his neck by then, and Blake could feel her nails on his neck. The heat made him add another finger, leaving Gwen almost cry out loud, losing herself in the moment. At first Blake smiled as he noticed how beautiful she looked like this. But then quickly he crawled up a bit and placed a finger over her lips.

Her eyes shot open and met his. He grinned at her while he made a hushing noise.

“The kids”, he mumbled before he connected his lips to hers. That way he muffled her noises as he kept on teasing her by softly bumping his finger in and out of her.

As another moan escaped them, he could feel her body starting to tremble under his hand, as she tightened her arms around his neck and pulled him even closer to her. Then her body broke down and a pleasured gasp filled the room.

Blake brought his hand back up at her and left a trace of kisses on her face, as she recovered from her orgasm. His kisses eventually ended up by sucking on her earlobe. Gwen’s hand fell down from on his neck to his cheek, and tilted his head towards hers. Her lips softly pecked his.

“Come here”, Gwen whispered while tilting her head up to reach for his lips. She was becoming more impatient by the second. She grabbed his face again, biting on his lower lip. Blake grinned within the kiss as he pushed his tongue inside. By then he felt Gwen’s hands work on getting his boxers down. Once that worked out, after way too many clumsy moments, both of them giggled as Blake nuzzled his nose against her in a sweet gesture. Right after that his lips took hers again.

“What do you want?”, Blake whispered.

Gwen smiled brightly.

“All of you”, She said while wrapping her legs around his hips, she grabbed his length for a few seconds and shuttered as she angled it inside of her, both of them letting out an audible sigh. Blake connected his forehead with hers as he softly went as deep as he could. A couple of seconds they stayed still, trying to get a control on their breathing.

All of Gwen’s thoughts disappeared as Blake began to move, pumping in and out slowly, both of them already dangerously close to orgasm. So many nights both of them had dreamed about one another, of them together, and now here they were. Gwen lifted her lips off of his, to catch a glimpse of his blue eyes, to be sure this wasn’t a dream. That it was actually him. She smirked as she saw the lust in it and placed her head on the back of his head. She pulled his lips back on hers.

He hits her deep, faster and faster, and she clings to the sheet beneath her and meets his thrusts with her hips. The only sounds they made were moans and soft, muffled cries. He sighs with pleasure more than she expected. She took him for more of a grunter. But it seemed as if he’s a softer version of himself in these moments of pure intimacy. Her own gasps come quicker now, louder. Her hands moved to his back and she couldn’t help but bury her nails into his skin. By the extra moan that came from Blake, she somehow realised that was a turn on for him. So as the bumps kept on coming, she traced her nails down over his back.

“Damn it Gwen”, he gasped as not much later he suddenly speeds up, their bodies slamming into each other. As Gwen started to feel the first waves of orgasm hit her and she pulls his face down to her, opening her mouth and kissing him senseless. She started to shudder against him wildly as the orgasm hits her in full force. Not much later Blake following her right after. His head fell down in the side of her neck.

Both of their heavy breathing was the only thing audible in the room for quite a while. And once Blake slightly had control over himself again, he rolled his weight off of her. Only a few seconds after that he heard Gwen’s soft giggle. So he turned his head her way and beamed up at her. He was faced by a smiling Gwen who bit her lip to cover it up.

Blake chuckled as well and Gwen tilts her head his way to meet his eyes. They grinned up at each other.

“That was –- wow”, Gwen spoke softly with a small blush. Blake laughed.

“Yeah, very much wow”, Gwen rolled her body to lay on her side, facing her cowboy. So Blake did the same. She raised her free hand up to stroke her fingers through his sweaty hair.

“You’re very handsome”, she said then out of the blue leaving Blake flashing her his dimples. In the meantime he tilted their locked hands up and brought them up to his lips. He softly placed his lips on the back of her hand.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve you”,

Gwen frowned. She pulled her hand away from him, to use her elbow to pull her a bit up. Her chin resting on her hand, as she looked at Blake, who had now fallen back down on his back.

“You deserve all the good things, Blakey”, she genuinely brought out.

Blake brightly smiled at her with so much gratitude. But then out of nowhere, Blake started to get up on the bed and put his boxers back on. Gwen gave him a confused look, already considering that she had said something wrong. But then he stopped walking at a certain point and crouched down, picking her nightdress off from on the ground.

Only a few seconds later, he walked right back up at Gwen and gave her a petite smile.

“As much as I love your skin against mine, and believe me I do,  I don’t think we want to fall asleep and take this risk with the kids here”,

Gwen her heart jumped up by this man in so many way. Immediately she lazily pulled her arms in the air, leaving Blake to chuckle. He brought the nightdress up to her arms and let the silky fabric cover her body.

“Come here”, he whispered the second he was laying back down on the bed. He reached his arm out. Gwen immediately went for it, cuddled up to his chest. Blake’s lips planted a kiss on her hair as he held her close. His fingers slowly traced over her spine a couple times still talking about sweet nothings. For a couple minutes, they shared a few more laughs, a few more small kisses and sleepily even made up some ideas of what the dayplan would be for tomorrow. But as Blake had started to stroke up and down over her arm, almost a minute in silence had token over them. He could feel her breath on his skin getting softer.

“Gwen?”, he whispered. But no reply followed, causing an instant smile to come to his features. Softly he stretched his arm out towards the lamp, carefully not to wake her, and dimmed it.

Just when he was about to close his eyes and fall asleep as well, he felt Gwen stir in his arms. A soft grunt left her lips.

“Blakey?”, she mumbled, causing him to hum. “A kiss,” she said it barely understandable, causing Blake to chuckle. He didn’t hesitate though as he moved his head and made his lips softly land on hers for a few seconds.

“Sleep tight sweetie”, Blake said against her lips. Gwen cuddled back up to him and buried her face in his chest.

“Goodnight babe”, she mumbled right before the sleep took her away.

 

 

 

The next morning Gwen slightly started to move her body as the sunrays were creeping through the curtains. A still tired and very sleepy Gwen started to tilt her arm up and throw it over her own body. It’s then that she could feel her hand hit something that wasn’t her skin, followed by a very soft grunt. At first she frowned by the sudden noise filling her ears, and it wasn’t until her hand started to discover the skin that her hand had landed on by accident, that she remember where she was. She could feel a scruff and as she brought her hand higher up, she met the softest curls that could only belong to one person. Blake.

An instant smile formed on her lips. In the meantime her brain started to wake up and suddenly she began to be aware of some weight laying on her collar bone. Softly she opened her eyes to find Blake’s body curled up against her. His tattooed arm was thrown around her waist as his head was buried in the side of her neck. Gwen could feel her heart jump a beat as she softly moved her thumb over his scalp a couple of times, until Gwen contently closed her eyes again and soon the sleep came back over her.

The next time Gwen woke up was by feeling soft, warm lips on her cheek. She fizzled a little while letting out a sleepy groan. Another soft peck followed as with every kiss he moved down from on the top of her jaw line to her chin. Blake noticed how a petite smile grew on her.

“Wake up sunshine”, He mumbled, causing Gwen to giggle softly.

“Hmm your accent”, She answered while blindly placing her hand on top of his neck.

“You like that, hah?”

Gwen hummed while nodding. After that Gwen tried to open her eyes, but the sunlight in the room made her wince and close them again.

“Aw babe”, Blake chuckled as he brought his hand up to her cheek. Suddenly she felt the urge to see that typical blue of his eyes again, so she tried a second time. After fighting the sunbeams for a few seconds, she finally was able to bring her eyes to his.

“Morning”, Gwen whispered with the happiest grin. Blake smiled back.

“Good morning”, he leaned his head to hers and quietly pecked her lips.

“Hi”, Gwen smirked

“You already said hi”,

“I know”, She giggled.“I love waking up to you”, Her arms went around his middle as she laid her head down on his chest.

“Good, cause I’m planning for that to happen quite often”,

Gwen her heart warmed by his words, causing her to just hug him tighter.

“Sounds like the most amazing plan, cowboy”, When she said those exact words she could feel Blake’s fingers slowly sliding up and down her spine. It made her entire body tingle. So she tilted her head up from his chest a bit and placed her warm lips on his skin for a kiss. After that she moved her head to the back to look up at him. A joyful smile grew on them once their eyes had found each other. Quickly Gwen placed her arms on the mattress to slightly pull herself up. She reached her head out and softly made her lips land on his.

“How about I go make you some coffee?”, She whispers against his lips, causing Blake to grunt. That same seconds his hands flew up in the air and came to rest on her back. The distance between their chest is being dramatically closed, as Blake holds her body closer, keeping her from getting up. Gwen giggles while nuzzling her nose in his neck.

“Blakey”, she whined as if he was holding her against her will. “The kids might be up soon”, she added.

Another soft groan filled the air as Blake even tightened his arms more.

“I know”, he whispered with the most adorable pout.           He placed his lips on her head before letting his arms fall loose around her.

“You can leave. But just now that I don’t like to do so”, He pouted as a seven year old. Gwen tilted her head to meet his puppy eyes. She immediately burst out in laughter.

“Oh Blakey, you’re such an attention seeker”, Gwen teased while quickly giving him one more kiss, before she jumped up from under the covers.

“What?”, Blake brought out innocently and with a shocked expression. But the game he was playing changed when his eyes caught her perfect body again.

Gwen was walking in his room and glanced over her shoulder to give him a quick wink. She walked towards some random chair that was in my room, where she found my flannel shirt draped over. Blake had slightly started to push himself up on the bed, to get a better look at his girlfriend.

“Can I borrow this?”, She asked him while he nodded with a big smile. She was now standing with her back towards him, as she tilted her nightdress over her head. She was standing so slightly turned with her side his way so he could see the curves of her body.

An amazed smirk came to his face when eventually his eyes travelled all the way up to see her glowing face. His smirk turned into a content, small smile when he noticed how she was beaming. Delicately she pulled her arms in the shirt and soon her skin was covered again. With a smooth swing, she pulled her hair from under the shirt and let them fall down on top of it.

After that she turned her head and connected her eyes with his that were still shamelessly checking her out. She was still buttoning the shirt up, her boobs not completely covered yet, when she turned her body his way. Blake curled his corners of his lips up even higher the second he saw her staring back at him. And Gwen smiled while shyly shaking her head.

“You’re hot, you know’,  Blake reminded her, causing Gwen to throw her head back and laugh.

“Thank you, cowboy”, she said then while walking up to the bathroom. She had been out of his sight for only a few seconds when Blake started to feel uneasy already. Forgetting it all about his laziness and about how earlier had felt as if he wouldn’t leave his bed today, he pulled his legs from under the blanket and made his feet connect with the floor.

While he wiped his eyes a couple of times, he started to walk towards the bathroom. He walked in and immediately came to stand behind her. Sleepily he connected his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. His chin then rested on top of her shoulder.

Gwen smiled at his reflection while bringing a hand up to caress through his wild hairs.

“You still look sleepy”, She spoke softly while softly massaging his scalp.

“Yeah some woman kept me up for hours, you know”, he playfully pulled his brows up and down causing Gwen to shake her head with a smirk.

“I hope she was worth it then”, she teased causing Blake to beam at her.

“No question about that”, Blake tightened his arms while placing one last kiss on her neck before walking to stand next to her.

“Why don’t you go back to bed for a few hours?”, Gwen suggested.

“Without you?”, he frowned. “That would be the most disrespectful thing ever”, he chuckled then as if she had suggested the most abnormal thing in the world. This time Gwen frowned.

“No babe, I’m serious. If you’re tired, you can go back to bed”,

Blake turned his head to look at her. “And I’m serious as well, sweetie. I know you’re tired as well, so I rather be tired together than leave you being tired alone”,

Gwen smiled while throwing her arms around his neck.

“I know you’re like this southern gentleman, but I just don’t want you to feel obligated to get up early to take care of my kids”

Blake traced his finger over her cheek with a smile.

“Your boys will never be an obligation”, he said causing Gwen to look away with a shy smile.

“Well in that case, how about I’ll meet you downstairs once I’m done with my make up?”,

“I like the sound of that”

 

 

Half an hour later Gwen walked into the dining room, with a white dress on and her hair hanging straight down. Her cowboy was sitting at the table, busy looking at his phone screen. A country tune was filling the room. So Gwen walked up at him and softly placed her hands on top of his shoulders.

Blake jumped up. “Whoa you scared me”, He chuckled after quickly locking his phone. Gwen frowned while her hands travelled down his shoulders and locked around him.

“You don’t have to stop listening just because I walked in”, She said then while softly nodding at his phone.

“Oh no, the song was practically over already”, Gwen let her head rest against his, while her chin rested on his shoulder. She felt kind of odd, as she had clearly heard that the song was far from ending.

“What were you listening to?”,

Blake just huffed. “Oh nothing truly, just some of the newest country songs, you know”, he mumbled while pulling himself up from the chair, obligating Gwen to let her arms fall down from him. He was acting kind of weird and she sensed he wasn’t telling the whole truth…

“I made you some tea, you want some?”, Blake rapidly changed the subject as a slightly confused smile was thrown her way. She decided to let it go as she smiled back and nodded at him.

A couple seconds later he handed her a mug filled with hot tea, both of them sat down at the dining room while eating some cereal. Gwen filled up the silences, considering something obviously was bothering the sweet man in front of her. So no matter what it was, Gwen was determined to keep on talking and managing to make him smile from time to time. It wasn’t until Kingston had woken up and joined them that Blake started to get back to himself. Both Blake and Kingston were laughing at some comment King had made about the cereal.

So Gwen watched the scene in front of her for a couple more seconds until she tilted her phone up and went to google.

She frowned while thinking hard before she started typing in the words she tried to remember:

_Another call, another bed I shouldn't crawl out of. Lyrics_

That was the only line she had taken in from the song Blake had been listening to earlier… So hesitantly she pressed on ‘search’,

After her phone had taken the time to search on the low WI-FI, words filled her screen of them, but some immediately caught her attention.

MIRANDA LAMBERT – VICE LYRICS

Just to make sure she searched ‘Miranda Lambert’ separately after it as well. And what she actually already knew was confirmed.

Married to Blake Shelton (2011-2015).

She felt her stomach turn into a knot. After a little more homework on the internet, she found out that song had been released this morning.

 

 

In the living room, a couple hours later, the boys and Gwen were playing board games while Blake was sitting on the couch. He told them he needed to answer a few more emails before he was going to join them.

After Apollo’s turn to move his pawn, Gwen heard a certain tune fill her ears again, coming from the radio. It’s the intro of Vice, she immediately had recognized it, as out of the corner of her eyes she watches Blake. At first he seemed to have been too caught up in his phone to notice it, but then out of nowhere he stood up and casually walked over to the radio.

“What you doing?”, I asked trying to sound nonchalant. Blake smiled.

“I thought all of you might rather listen to some pop music”,

Before Gwen even got the chance to answer, Kingston nodded. “Yes!”, He said enthusiastically, leaving Blake laughing.

Gwen on the other hand frowned as she watched him change the radio station and right after that sitting back down on the same spot of the couch. She felt terrible. And for the first time she could actually imagine what she had put Blake through by hiding things from him.

She stood up with Apollo in her arms and placed him down on the chair she had been sitting on.

“Who wants some juice?”, Gwen asked causing all three of her boys to reach their hand up in the air. Gwen smiled but only started laughing when she turned around and saw Blake with his hand in the air as well. So she walked to the kitchen and stopped at the fridge to get some juices. When she was bent down to reach for some drinks, the cold air hit her skin. Instead of immediately pulling back up once she had the drinks locked in her hands, she kept still. She simply stared into the fridge and let the coldness calm her mind.

“What you doing?”, the southern accent suddenly came from right behind her. Gwen literally jumped up and faced the cowboy, almost hitting her head to the fridge. He chuckled while closing the lest steps between them.

“Nothing”, She said then while hesitantly smiling at him as she felt his arms wrap around her. His eyes found hers and somehow she could see the confusion disappear. A couple more seconds passed while he wiped a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Miranda released a new song”,  He softly said while wiping his thumb over her skin.

“She did?”, Gwen tried to sound surprised.

He nodded. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you this morning, I just got confused for a minute”,

“For hours actually”, Gwen corrected him in a mumble, causing Blake to laugh while shaking his head in disbelief. After that Gwen lifted her arms to his neck.

“Look I… I don’t know why I didn’t tell you right away, I was just a bit taken aback”

“How?”, Gwen gave him an encouraging smile.

“Well it’s just that I got this message from Adam this morning with this link of her song in it and it felt so weird”, Blake admitted while walking out her arms and going up to lean against the kitchen counter. He gazed up to meet Gwen her eyes again. His hand petted on the kitchen counter next to him. So Gwen walked up to him and tilted her body completely up to sit on top of it.

“It felt weird because apparently she had been promoting this song for weeks but I had no clue”, he spoke softly while taking a long pause. “I just can’t remember when it stopped hurting, when I stopped truly caring”,

Gwen glanced over at him, while his eyes were just staring at somewhere near his shoes.

“But it was weird to hear her single the same time the world did. Like I had been by her side for years, and now I’m not”, he sounded confused and Gwen had to close her eyes for a couple of seconds to let his words sink in. She allowed her head to fall back, the back of her head falling on her back as she took a breath in. A million thoughts immediately raced through her brain, because damn it, this starts to sound like a ‘I rather be with her’ kinda talk. But suddenly she was shook awake by his hands landing on top of her

“Hey Gwen? Don’t do that”, he simply said with a disapproving glimpse. “I no longer wanna be by her side, Gwen”, he added sounding slightly hurt because she’d think that.

Gwen instantly started to shake her head.

“Of course not, I know that”, Gwen rambled while pulling closer on the counter towards where he was standing. She threw her arms around his neck and placed a kiss on his neck. “Go on”,

“It’s different and kind a surprising somehow? I don’t know, probably doesn’t make sense”, he said, trying to explain himself.

“I get it, baby. You moved on without realising it until now”, Gwen said and he tilted his head up to meet hers. Gwen softly stroked her nails over his skin of his neck and she saw his eyes lightening up.

“Yeah exactly”, he said genuinely surprised that she didn’t think of him as some weirdo now. “Like I’m not gonna lie, it hurts to listen to it. Because she hasn’t been on my mind for weeks but then suddenly I remember about her existence because of this song, in which to me it seems she’s pretty much telling the world about her cheating days, right?”, Blake rambled adorably.

Gwen smiled, even though it hurt her heart to hear him admit to her about her cheating as well. Obviously Gwen had heard the rumours and had made assumption, but to hear the actual words leave his lips sting. “You know what the worst part is? I actually think it’s a great song”, he huffed.

Gwen’s hand stroked through his curls. “Hey?”, she said, causing Blake to look up and turn his body her way a bit. She cupped both his cheeks with her hands and allowed her thumbs to gently move over his skin.

“You’re such an amazing man, Blake Shelton”, she whispered and Blake chuckled while beaming at her, she locked her lips with his. “You’re my favourite, you know that?”,

Blake shrugged. "No I don't know that, maybe you should tell me again", he said causing Gwen to shake her in laughter. 

"Again, attention seeker!", Gwen said within a laugh, trying to walk away from him. She heard Blake's chuckle as a few seconds later she felt Blake's hand on her arm, pulling her back. His lips immediately were on hers for a deep kiss. 

When they pulled back, they were still slightly laughing. Both of them still fully in each other's embrace.

'Fine, you're my favorite!", Blake heard Gwen repeat vaguelly. But when she noticed how his eyes were on something behind her, she turned her head as well. All she had yet to see was a tiny body that had already turned around and started to walk away.


	21. twenty-one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is a parent-kid kinda chapter! It's not that super special but necessary for the story though! So hope you enjoy and let me know whether you did! :)  
> ps: Gwen Stefani killed me with her video today. RIP Noor, funeral in Belgium, you guys lmao

“Zuma”, Gwen stumbled out, causing the kid to slow down his steps.

“Come over here”, Gwen let go of Blake’s body and took a few steps towards the doorframe. Reluctantly Zuma turned around. His big brown eyes met his moms, yet he didn’t take a single step closer towards her. So Gwen took the last steps and leaned against the doorframe.

“Mom I’m sorry, I just wanted to come see if you needed any help”, The apology made her heart ache and Gwen immediately shook her head and hushed him.

“Don’t apologize!”, She said while trying to take a step closer to him. But as she did so, she noticed how he took a step backwards within full confusion. He stared at her for a few long seconds.

“You kissed Blake”, Zuma spoke then for the entire living room to hear. Out of the corner of Gwen’s eyes she could see Kingston’s head snap her way from out of the couch. His eyes burning on her as well, until Gwen shot him a glance and he quickly stared back at the television screen. Obviously pretending to not have heard a thing. Apollo sat next to her oldest, unaware of the drama.

Gwen tried to hold back a sigh when she met Zum’s surprised expression again.

Eventually she nodded. “I did”,

Within a few more steps she was standing right in front of her boy now.

“Why?”,

Gwen crouched down to be at the same height as him. Sweetly she cupped his cheek and softly wiped her thumb over his silky skin, trying to ease his confusion.

“Baby, why don’t you go sit with your bothers for a second, I’ll explain in a few minutes, ok?”, Hesitantly Zuma glanced over his mom’s shoulder to look at Blake standing a few steps behind Gwen. His eyes were very observing as he was taking in every little detail of Blake’s excisting.

“Zum?”, Gwen caught his attention again. At the end he nodded while carefully making his way towards the couch.

Within a second Gwen walked back into the kitchen and looked at Blake’s blue eyes, and as always they seemed to calm her. She walked into his arms and the cowboy immediately knew she needed to feel his arms around her to feel relaxed again.

“What do we say?”, Blake eventually asked, leaving Gwen shrugging. She tilted her head up from on his chest and took a deep breath in. Her eyes met his and she gave him a petite smile.

“The truth”

 

 

 

“So this—“, Zuma mumbled out confused while frowning. “This is something that will like happen from now on or um?”, If Blake hadn’t been so tensed and stressed, he would’ve smiled at how adorable the kid was talking around the subject. Gwen and Blake were both sitting on top of the coffee table, right in front of the boys on the couch. Apollo was reaching his hands out towards Blake’s knees, causing the cowboy to pick him up in his arms.

“Are you talking about me kissing Blake?”, Gwen asked for clarification causing Zuma to nod shyly. Gwen reached her hand out and let if fall down on the top of Zum’s knee.

“I hope so”, she spoke softly, while stroking her thumb over his skin.

“if that is ok with you”, Blake jumped in, causing Zuma to look at him. The kid tilted his head to give him a curious, long glance. The cowboy could feel a lump create in his throat and he started to feel uncomfortable. So instead Blake looked away for a couple of seconds and gazed at the little man sitting on his lap. Blake’s nerves slightly calmed down, but when he looked back up and found Zuma’s eyes still the same way, he felt his heart start beating faster. Just when Blake was about to jump out of his skin, Zuma finally spoke up.

“You’re so different”,

It was almost funny that that was the sentence that he had stumbled out, that that was the comment that he had thought about for almost a minute. Blake nodded, because he knows he is. He knows the kids grew up in their LA mansion, with their rock and roll male-roll model and their fabulous and wonderful mother who happened to be the queen of ska music. In theory Blake was very much aware that he didn’t seem to fit in. The country boy from Oklahoma, who made his career in a music genre that those three kids probably barely know that exist. Blake didn’t fit into that Hollywood picture. So hearing the kid worry about it as well, hit him right in the feels.

“Yeah sure he’s different, but to me that isn’t a bad thing actually. Is it to you?”, Kingston filled in sweetly while giving Blake an encouraging smile.  After he had seen the cowboy throwing a smile back, he narrowed his eyes down towards his younger brother.

The blond boy seemed to think for a few seconds until he finally shook his head. Blake felt a huge relief fall from his chest.

“She’s my mom”, Zuma said then directly to Blake, not as an attack, but more as a simple fact.

Blake could see Kingston smile softly at that comment. Also Gwen’s eyes were turned his way giving him her warm, heart filled eyes.

“I know that, buddy”, Blake brought out slightly nervous.

The kid gave him a suspicious stare as if he had been trying to read into his soul.

“So now you have become my friend, but if you hurt my mom, we can’t be friends anymore”, Zuma said deadly serious while giving his most protective glance. Gwen smiled while softly squeezing his knee.

“I understand”,

“So—“, Zuma was still looking at him with slightly squinted eyes. “Does our friendship mean this little to you or do you actually love my mom?”,

 “Zum, I promise you, you mean a lot to me and so does your mom”, Gwen smiled at her cowboy, holding herself back from throwing her arms around him. Blake caught Gwen’s eyes and he flashed her his dimples. They got lost in each other’s eyes for a couple seconds before Zuma’s voice reached their ears again.

“But do you love her?”, This time Kingston porred his brother in the side and gave him a correcting look. Meanwhile he whispered something like ‘you can’t ask someone that’, but nevertheless Blake chuckled.

“I do love your mom”, That caught both of the kids their attention as the bickering immediately stopped. Their four brown eyes were completely stunned by his admission. While Gwen had just slightly bit her lip and was looking down at her baby boy in Blake’s lap, before glancing up at him. She shyly met Blake’s dimples again.

 

The rest of the day had been a rainy Oklahoma day. They all stayed inside, watched a few movies and played a few more board games.  They ate some easy dinner and even though the boys love Betty, they didn’t go along with Blake and Betty on a walk because it was still raining. At the end of the day, Gwen got a text from Rae. It started out as a ‘how are you’ kind of conversation, while somehow it had progressed to Rae asking for some wedding advice, to RaeLynn eventually even sending a picture of her in her dress that she had chosen a few days earlier. (with a side note that Gwen wasn’t allowed to show it to Blake yet). Gwen smiled as she saw the big grin plastered on the young woman’s face in the big white gown. She looked amazing, that’s for sure. So after telling her in multiple messages of how much Gwen liked the dress and how she though Rae was beaming on the picture, Gwen heard Blake walk back in with Betty.

The dog was soaked by the raindrops and immediately ran over to Gwen. Gwen jumped up, folding her legs under her, while she cried out amused. She couldn’t shake off the dog though, as Betty immediately jumped on the couch, right on Gwen’s lap.

“Betty!”, Blake cried out and only burst out in laughter as all three the boys were having a blast. Gwen kept on crying out in giggles as Betty couldn’t help but lick down on Gwen’s face.

“Hey! Stop licking my _woman_!”, Blake cried out, leaving all three of the boys laugh even more. Betty suddenly caught the enthusiasm of the three young boys and her tail started waging even more. Within a few jumps, she was on the other couch with the boys and Blake rapidly walked their way.

“Oh oh easy girl”, Blake said, afraid Betty might hurt one of the kids with her clumsy paws. But it’s then that he felt Gwen’s hand reach out for his arm to catch his attention.

“They can handle her”, She says still with the brightest smile and slightly out of breath.

“Your _woman_ , I like that”, she softly added, underneath the laughter of her boys, causing Blake to lean down to kiss her cheek.

“Well and like you”, He winked at Gwen before walking over to the dog, trying to calm her down.

“Don’t eat the kids, Betty!”,

 

A couple of minutes later, Blake had pretended to feel sad that he hadn’t been greeted the way Betty was. So all three of the boys laughed while they attacked the cowboy, tickling him for minutes long.

The next time Gwen looked up from her phone she saw four exhausted boys, while Betty had come lay beside Gwen on the couch. The men on one couch and the women on the other. The three of them had ended up laying on top or partly on top of Blake. Apollo was wrapped inside one of his arms again as the back of Zuma’s head was resting on Blake’s leg. Kingston was sitting at the other side of Blake, shoulder to shoulder.

Gwen’s smile grew wide as she immediately opened her camera on her phone. Subtly she took a picture of her four favourite men. She stared at the photo and felt how she couldn’t get the smile off of her face any longer. So she opened RaeLynn’s chat and send the photo her way.

‘In case you didn’t believe me when I told you how great my life is these days’

 

 

Before they even realised it, the bedtime had arrived again. Apollo had fallen asleep in Blake’s tight embrace a couple of hours ago, so he had been tucked in already. The two oldest on the other hand had somehow stretched it out until 11PM, which was way too late for Gwen’s liking. So with stern eyes, she leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom. Kingston clearly had gotten the hint as he stopped talking to his mom and instead quickly brushed his teeth.

In the meantime Zuma was ready for bed already, as she could hear some soft laughs coming from out of his bedroom. One way or another Zuma was convinced that it was Blake’s turn to read him a bed night story today, so Gwen let them go ahead. Blake’s vague laughter reached her ears, and it seemed to make her calm down already, as she smiled at Kingston again through the mirror.

The boy smiled right back while still brushing his teeth. Once he had spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth a few times, Gwen had walked over to stand behind him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let her chin rest on top of his brown hairs. Within a few seconds Kingston brought his hand up towards his mom’s arm and let his back fall against her chest.

Gwen noticed his gaze on her through the mirror, so she smiled before placing a kiss on his scalp.

“I like this”, King said.

“You like what, baby?”, Gwen asked sweetly while softly pulling her head up from his and instead stroking her fingers through his hairs.

“Your smile, I like it. It looks good on you”

Gwen looked at him, surprised, because it’s still overwhelming to her how even though she did everything to protect her kids from all the hurt she had felt, he still knew.

“Are you happy, King?”,

“I am, mom”, he sounded sincere as he never looked away from their gaze. He wasn’t lying, she would be able to tell if he was.

“Good”, A final kiss planted on his head before she pulled her arms away from his body. She petted her hand on the small of his back then, leading them towards his room. But before he walked into his, he knocked on Zuma’s door. Gwen curiously watched him, as she saw him stuck his head in the room.

“Goodnight Zum”, he waved at his younger brother before his eyes met Blake. “Sleep tight Blake”,

Gwen couldn’t see her cowboy from where she was standing but she could imagine how a warm smile was plastered on his face.

“Goodnight buddy”, his soft voice whispered back. Eventually King closed the door again and walked this time into his room. Gwen smiled, knowing that he never really feels the need to go into Zuma’s room to tell him goodbye… so it definitely had something to do with the cowboy.

Once Gwen pulled the covers open and Kingston had jumped in, she tightly tucked her oldest in.

“Sweet dreams, sweetie, I love you”, Gwen whispered while placing a kiss on his temple. Just when she was about to pull herself up from her crouching position, he reached for her hand.

“Mom?”, Gwen nodded her head.

“Can I ask you something?”, Immediately Gwen was crouched down again as she, again, nodded her head.

“Of course you can”

He fizzled with his fingers on his blankets for a couple of seconds, seeming nervous somehow.

“You didn’t say it back”, out of nowhere, those words were the only ones that left his lips. Gwen frowned while softly stroking her hand over his –with blankets covered- body.

“I’m not following, King”, she said once she started to feel as if she should actually give him an answer.

“Blake”, he said. “He told you that he loves you, and you didn’t say it back”,

It took some processing time for Gwen to know which moment he was referring to. A couple seconds later, Gwen realised it was about the moment on the couch, with Zuma’s question. Gwen was speechless right then, as she just looked at her oldest a bit confused.

“If you do, you should tell him”,

Gwen’s hand cupped his cheek and her thumb caressed over his skin.

“King, baby, why are you worrying about this?”,

A sight filled the room as he at first shrugged. But Gwen gave him a few more seconds the time to form a sentence.

“I don’t want him to leave you”, he finally mumbled. “So you need to tell him that you love him as well, because he make you happy and I don’t want him to leave”

Gwen smiled at him. “Hey! He won’t leave, sweetie, don’t worry about that. And even more, stop worrying about me”

His big brown eyes kept on her equal ones, as he pursed his lips on one another.

“And I don’t want him to leave me… to leave us”, he said hesitant with a weak voice, causing Gwen to push herself up on the bed and immediately pull her arms around him. His head came to rest on her chest and she held him.

“He won’t”, She whispered with a soothening voice.

“How do you know?”, he answered softly.

“Because he doesn’t only love me, but all three of you are in his heart as well… And by the way, for your information, he knows he’s in my heart”

That made him lift his head up to meet Gwen’s eyes. “I have already told him that I love him”

Somehow that seemed to ease his heart as his eyes lighted up.

“That’s good”, he simply said, moving out of Gwen’s arms, pretending to not have acted emotional just now at all. Acting like the cool boy again. So Gwen smiled and let him be.

“You feel better?”, and he nodded. “Good, now sleep, it’s way passed bedtime”, She  gave him, for real now, the last goodnight kiss and told him that she loved him.

“I love you, too”

With that Gwen took her steps out of the bedroom and closed the door silently behind her. Gwen stayed still at his door for a couple of seconds, just taking a few breathes in and out. Just thinking. As the seconds had passed, she suddenly felt a pair of strong hands fall down on her shoulders.

“Why you standing out here?”, the southern accent spoke as he brushed her hair from over her shoulder towards her back, to get access to her neck. He placed a soft kiss there, feeling her relax under his touch.

“Would you maybe um—go tuck in Kingston as well?”, she said then while moving around to face him. He gave her a pervasive look. “I think he might’ve been jealous over the fact that you tucked Zuma in but not him, you know? They love you”, Gwen told him, making Blake smile at her.

He nodded. He gave her a sweet kiss and nuzzled his nose against hers. After that he softly opened the door towards King’s room.

“Hey buddy, just wanted to tell you a proper goodnight”, Blake whispered while walking up towards his bed.

“Oh Blake!”, He sounded excited while slightly sitting up. “Don’t tell mom though that you’re here because it’s already passed my bedtime”,

Blake chuckled, knowing that she probably was still at the other side of the door, maybe even hearing him.

“Oh right”, Blake said. “So”, he added while he hesitantly sat down at the edge of his bed. “Just wanted to check in on you. You’re really good with the whole thing between me and your mom, right?”,

“Actually it is ‘Your mom and I’, but yes I’m good with it”, That made Blake chuckle loudly.

“Good,                 because you know your opinion is important to me”,

“I know”, King added right away with a small smile.

“Well good then! I’m gonna go to my room now though, before your mom catches me”, Blake joked, making King be the one to laugh now.

To Blake’s surprise, the nine year old reached his arms out to him for a goodnight hug. Without hesitating he moved in and pulled his body to him. Kingston’s head landed in the crook of his neck and smiled.

“Love you, Blake”, he rapidly said, as if it was the most casual thing ever. Blake tightened his arms around the kid as he felt completely overwhelmed. Somehow he did manage to open his mouth and produce words.

“Love you, too, buddy”

Once the hug ended, the kid shortly smiled Blake’s way and after that he started to nestle under his covers.

“Goodnight”

“Sleep well”, Blake said sweetly, even still completely surprised, maybe even more than when Gwen told him she loved him. Nevertheless he used his arms to push himself off of the bed and walk out of the room.

 

 

 

Eventually Blake let his body fall down on top of the bed, next to Gwen. She had been laying on the bed already, with one of her arms thrown under her head.

Blake pushed himself to the middle of the bed and placed an arm under her head as well, pulling her to him. Gwen followed his body willingly and let her head rest on his shoulder instead.

“Kingston said: ‘love you Blake’”,

Gwen tilted her head to his surprised voice and smiled at him.

“Well, it’s hard not to love you, Blake”, she said while staring at him still. But after that she let her body roll off of his a little, so she came to lay on her back right beside him. She stared at the ceiling for a few seconds as she somehow still felt the conversation with King gnawing on her.

“He told me he’s afraid you’re gonna leave”, Gwen impulsively spit it out. She knew he didn’t deserve more drama, but she also knew that she promised him to be completely honest now.

Blake moved his arm a little form under her, to fall on his side, facing her. Yet Gwen stayed put on her back, not needing to look him in the eye this way.

“What?”, he asked confused.

“Yeah, I know right? I think he’s scared that at one point you’ll stop carrying for him and leave us behind”,

That made Blake chuckle. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve heard, I’m sure as hell never leaving”,

Blake could hear a chuckle coming from Gwen as well, but not a genuine one, more as if she felt obligated to laugh as well, to pretend as if she was alright.

So Blake snapped his head her way and observed her body language.

“Hey!”, He said then while stretching his arm out to softly stroke over her, up and down. “You know that right?”, he asked then, causing Gwen to hum.

Blake frowned. “Baby”, he said then. “I know you better than that”,

That made Gwen to let out a sight as she finally turned her body to lay on her side as well, facing him.

“I won’t stop carrying. I won’t stop loving. I won’t leave”, He entwined his fingers with hers and Gwen smiled then. Within a matter of seconds, Gwen easily crawled her way towards him and nestled her head on top his heart.

“I won’t ever leave those arms of yours. I will never leave you alone, ever”,  His arms tightened around her. She tilted her head and pulled closer. Her lips on top of his firmly.

“God I love you”


	22. twenty-two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Side note: Somehow this ended up being pretty smutty. Normally I rather write some fluffy scenes or dramatic ones, but I don't know, somehow I was in the mood to write this lmao! So for people who rather not read smut, you can easily skip it and move along to somewhere in the middle of the chapter or something, hah!
> 
> Second side note: This is probably one of the last chapters! My guesses are to end with 25 chapters, but it might be a little sooner or later! But just be prepared! :)
> 
> Last side note: The story Rocker Material just made me cry. So @PeggyCarters you're lucky I like you because otherwise I'd hunt you down. 
> 
> Bye!

Gwen silently started to wake up, shivering from the cold. Sleepily she wondered why she always has to be so damn cold. So without hesitating, she crawled closer towards Blake’s side. But sadly enough as she threw her arm up towards him, it hit the cold mattress. She frowned as she by then forced herself to start waking up. Her eyes blinked open and then she heard the shower running. She pouted, as she had wanted to cuddle up to her boyfriend right now.

So instead of finding some extra warmth with him, she wrapped the blankets more tightly around her body. A couple of minutes later she could hear him turning the water off, opening the shower door and closing it again. Gwen smiled as she knew she would get her good morning kiss soon.

But when another few seconds had passed, she started to get anxious for her kiss, so she tiredly let herself roll out of bed. While she wiped the sleep out of her eyes, she walked over to the bathroom door and pushed it open.

Blake’s head immediately turned towards her and he gave her a smile.

“Hi beautiful”, He said, still busy drying his body. Gwen let her shoulder fall against the wall as she shamelessly checked his naked body out.

“I missed you”, she said then, causing Blake to chuckle.

“Well I’d hug you but I’m still kinda wet”,  He replied.

In pure nonchalance Gwen shrugged as she walked over to him. She smirked as she took the towel out of his hands and laid it down at the counter. Clearly she wanted his full attention. So as soon as his eyes fell on hers, he brightly smiled at her. His arms drew her in and she could feel her nightdress getting sticky against his clammy chest.

She sucked on her bottom lip while throwing her arms around his neck. Only a second later her lips brushed on his.

“Maybe I should help dry you off then”, she said while shamelessly lowering her hand down from his chest towards his stomach.

Blake gave her a grinning glance before she leaned in again and took his lips with hers. At first kissing him sweetly, but that didn’t last long though as she soon already deepened the kiss. Gwen giggled while linking her arm around his back. She started to take a few steps backwards, pulling him along with her towards their room. Blake never took his lips off of her, until he suddenly felt her tiny hand lowering down on his stomach, ending up on his length. He pulled back only a inch, his lips still partly brushing hers as he gasped.

Gwen smirked while placing her hand around his length and teasingly stroking over it a couple of times. Blake gasped for air with every stroke as he cupped her cheek and kissed her lips.

Suddenly, Gwen took one more step backwards, causing the inside of her knees to meet some chair in the corner of their bedroom. She smirked as she moved to switch positions with Blake. This way she could softly push on his biceps, making him obey and sit down on the seat. Blake’s hands went under her nightdress and rested right above her butt. With an ease Gwen crossed her arms and quickly threw her nightdress over her head. Blake smirked while tightening his grip and pulling her closer. The two of them greedily moved to get rid of her panties, and once they succeeded, they both smirked at one another.

Gwen didn’t hesitate as she immediately moved closer towards him, pressing his back against the cold back of the chair. At first she straddled him and simply sat down on his lap. Her mouth taking his and making her tongue dance circles around his. When the kissing got heavier and dirtier, Gwen decided to tease him and rolled her hips. Blake grunted while pulling away from her lips. He was met with the proudest smirk on Gwen’s face, causing Blake to shake his head with a laugh.

“Dammit Gwen”, he said then while quickly taking in her bottom lip with his. Eventually he traced his kisses down from to her lips to leave soft pecks over her jaw line, towards her ear. He nuzzles his nose in the crook of her neck, making Gwen tilt her head backwards, giving him better access. Her nails traced over his scalp as Blake sucked on a weak spot on her neck, causing Gwen to moan faintly.

“You should turn around”, Blake whispered against her neck, causing Gwen to loosen his neck. She looked at him while biting her lip, before she stood up and slowly turned around, facing away from him. His hands almost immediately pulled her  body towards him and he didn’t hesitate to make her feel the tip of his length at her entrance. That feeling already made her gasp as she giggled by his sudden dominance.

Nevertheless she was the one to lower her down and once she did, an immediate gasp arose. His hands were placed steadily on her hips, as he helped her move up and down –very softly at first. Gwen took deep breathes in and out, while searching with her hands for some kind of leverage. One of her hands ended up at the nearby wall, and the other on top of some wooden bookshelf, hoping that it was a steady one. Once her rhythm of groans became constant and she seemed to have refound the way of breathing, Blake felt the need to take over the control. He needed more. Suddenly Gwen could feel him started to lift his hips up to meet her trusts. His trusts became faster and faster, as he took the full control now. A soft, fragile cry of pleasure came from Gwen, soon followed by her heavy, unsteady breathing.

Hearing her small noises, turned him on even more as also his groans became louder and louder. Just when he could hear Gwen almost hit her release, he slowed down his movements for just a few seconds, to then, surprisingly slam into her once more. Gwen threw her head back as her orgasm came over her. A shaky, quiet shriek  -while Gwen even bit her lip trying to stay as silent as possible- later, Blake followed.

Blake pushed her up from on him, slipping out of her. He stood up, took her in his arms and took the last few steps towards the bed. He softly laid her body down on the mattress and Blake pecked her lips. Gwen smiled at him, still a bit out of breathe, but yet she didn’t hesitate. She threw her arms back around his neck, pulling him on top of her and kissing the air out of him.

“Up for a round two, cowboy?”,

 Blake chuckled while moving hand down over one of her legs.

“Is that even a question?”, he answered, causing Gwen to laugh within their kiss. His hand halted on top of her knee and moved his hand under it.  Softly he pulled her leg up, partly top of his shoulder as she still laid on her back. His free hand was placed right beside her head. He checked whether she was ready, and when he saw her biting her lip again, he softly pushes into her.  He could feel her hand travelling up on his arm that was beside her. At first he had only entered her with his tip, softly moving in and out. Her breathing became unsteady again as she threw her head back in pleasure. Blake moved his hand from over her pulled up leg towards her cheek.

“Baby, look at me”, he whispered, causing Gwen to try and do so, to meet his smirking face. Her breathing still was uneven, but this time he didn’t wait for her to get control over it. Instead after a couple more short trusts, he suddenly pushed in all the way.

The loudest cry filled the room, causing Blake to immediately move his hand over her lips.

“Shh”, he whispered, and with that her moans got more silent, just small breathing leaving her lips, until he slammed into her a second time, her moan filled the room again.

“Oh yes”, she mumbled it underneath her breathe until  within the next thrust, Blake let out a wild groan as well. That seemed to turn her on quiet much, as she gasped and moaned so damn loudly again. His hand luckily had stayed put on her mouth then, muffling her noises.

With a steady rhythm of hard trusts, Blake could feel Gwen’s hand squeezing on his arm until it fell down and took a handful of the sheet underneath her.

Both their breathings and moans became more frequent with every thrust. Gwen eventually ended up moving her hands towards his back and pushed her nails into his skin.

“Blake”, she groaned in his thrusts. “Faster”,

And he obeyed. He pushed into her harder and faster. Her nails were still dug into his skin as she scratched them all the way down his spine. Blake moved his hand from on top holding her leg to taking one of her hands in his. Their finger entwined and their linked hands landed over her head. And just then, one thrust later, they both let out their last moan and then fell apart on top of each other.

 

 

 

 

Blake held Gwen tight in his arms. Her head on his chest, one of her legs thrown between his. For half an hour they laid like that, just enjoying each other’s warmth, falling partly asleep again and exchanging only few words. Yet both of them felt the happiest ever.

But their slumbering got interrupted by the ringing of Blake’s phone. Blake pouted while stretching his arm out towards the nightstand and picking up.

“Hello”, Blake mumbled sleepily.

“Oh boy, did I wake you up?”, RaeLynn’s voice.

Blake yawned while shaking his head, after that he remember that she couldn’t actually see him so he just chuckled and said that she didn’t.

“I’m awake, but I’m just still in bed”, he explained causing the young girl to hum.

“Oh ok, but well, so I know it’s kinda last minute, but would maybe Josh and I maybe be able to crash at your ranch tonight? He has some military thing and they fly off from Oklahoma, but it’s ok if we can’t! We can just as easily book a hotel or whatever, so don’t feel obli—“

“Sweetie, you know you two are always welcome here”, Blake interrupted her rambling with a laugh. Meanwhile Gwen stirred awake and grunted.

“Who’s on the phone?”, she mumbled.

“RaeLynn”, He answered her while placing a kiss on her head.

“Oh wait, am I reading this right? You’re in bed with Gwen, aren’t you?”, she asked amused and excited all at once.

Blake chuckled while looking down at a still sleepy Gwen on his chest.

“Maybe”, he answered Rae while stroking his fingers through Gwen’s blond hairs.

“Oh my God! I’m gonna leave you two to it!”, RaeLynn added with a playful tune. Blake chuckled once again.

“See you tonight”, and the line ended.

 

 

 

 

The morning had passed by quickly. One by one the boys had started to get up and eat some breakfast on the porch. It was predicted to become a lovely, hot day, and so it was. Especially when the first hours of waking up and then having lunch had passed by, the sun was high up in the air. Zuma and Kingston were playing in the pool, while Apollo was nearby Gwen and Blake, sitting on the ground playing with some car toys.

For quite a while Blake sat in a lounge chair, with Gwen in between his legs. Her back was resting against his chest and her eyes were closed. Even though Blake felt quite tired as well, he couldn’t make himself close a single eye. Instead he found himself keeping his eyes straight on the two boys in the pool. Both of them were quite excellent swimmers, maybe even better than Blake himself, but didn’t dare to lose them out of his sight.

After quite a while, the sun had moved and the parasol wasn’t giving the two adults much shadow any longer. Their legs were laying in the sun and he could feel it actually burn onto his skin. So silently he brought his fingers to stroke over Gwen’s face until she started to stir awake.

“Babe, I need to move”, he chuckled as she grunted. “I think we can all use some sunscreen”

With that Gwen nodded while pulling her body up from off his chest, giving him the opportunity to get out from under her. Blake checked the two oldest one last time before leaning in to feel Gwen’s soft lips on his. After that Blake halted at Apollo’s spot on the ground and crouched down to place a kiss on the little man’s curls.

The two year old gazed up at him and smiled brightly. Blake had only taken one single step inside the house, and he could hear his phone ringing. Thinking it might be RaeLynn, he walked over to the device. But instead of Rae’s name he saw Adam’s, which instantly brought a smile to his face. He hadn’t heard from him ever since the last day of shooting the blinds. So when Blake was just on the edge of picking up, he suddenly started to hesitate. If he picked  up, that meant he probably will have to lie to his best friend, and he sure as hell didn’t like that.  And by his hesitation, the phone suddenly stopped ringing. Blake sighed while shaking his head. He picked his phone up then and noticed how Adam had already tried calling him four times today.

Blake knew that this is typical Adam, not calling for weeks but then suddenly when he wants to hear from you he won’t take no for an answer. So all though Blake knew that probably nothing urgent or life threatening had happened, he called back nevertheless. You never know that this time something did happen right? Imagine Adam being on the edge of dying or whatever and he tried to call Blake. So just to be sure, Blake called back, as he always does.

“Blake Shelton!”, Adam shouted through the phone, too enthusiastic for a man that would be on the edge of dying.

“Hey!”, Blake answered while in the meantime ruffling through his bathroom closets, searching for sunscreen. “What’s up?”

“Nothing really! Just wanted to check when you’re gonna be back in LA”,

Blake though for a couple of seconds, halted searching. Because wait, when was he going back to LA again?

“Um Saturday before school starts again”, Blake mumbled before he even realised.

Adam laughed. “Before school starts again? Do you mean the voice or what?”

“No, really, school”, Blake said while wincing. So far for acting normal.

“Ok then…”, Adam stumbled out with a confused chuckle. “Anyway, so you’ll be back in a few days then?”

“Right on it, why?”, Blake answered while he opened the last closet, and of course, there it was, the bottle of sunscreen. Quickly he took it, on the meantime he also took a few towels, knowing that the King and Zuma probably forget to bring theirs outside.

“Well because we wanna have a drinking party”,

Blake frowned while making his way out of the bathroom.

“ _We_ , as in who?”,

“Well you know, the usual, you, me and all the men from the voice”, he said. “Oh and I know we never invited Christina because of the ‘boys only rule’, but I mean we both know what the real reason was right?”

Blake chuckled, thinking back on how Adam wasn’t really a fan on Christina’s personality. Blake always figured it had something to do with their personalities being similar at a certain level… both competitive, both kinda ‘bitchy’, and just in general, both wanting to be the best, at truly anything. So they never really had a good connection with one another. So Blake hummed.

“So I wondered what you think about inviting Gwen?”, Blake smiled, poor clueless Adam.

“That’s great, I’ll—“, Blake almost hit himself on the head as he almost told Adam ‘I’ll ask her’. Instead Blake coughed a few times, to cover it up. “I’ll bring some Vodka”, he said instead.

Just when he heard Adam start telling some story about a certain award show he attended with Behati, Blake heard some little footsteps approach him.

“Blakey?”, Apollo smile brightly at him.

“Hang on”, Blake interrupted Adam on the phone. “Hey buddy”, Blake said while putting his hand over the speaker on his phone, hoping to muffle the conversation for Adam.

“Mommy asked to go help you find the sunscreen”, Apollo adorably stumbled out.

Blake crouched down beside him while ruffling his head before handing over the bottle of sunscreen.

“Tell her I’ll be right out, ok?”

The boy enthusiastically nodded his tiny head before running back outside.

Blake stood back up and tilted the phone towards his ear again. “I’m sorry, what were you saying?”,

“Blake! You have company!”, Adam cried out.

“Yes I do”, he nervously said, and Blake knew Adam would notice.

“Who is it?”,

Blake thought for a few seconds, while scratching his head. “RaeLynn”

“I didn’t know RaeLynn was a mom with kids”, dammit.

“Adam, I gotta go, send me the details of the drinking party ok?”

“Shelton! You cannot hang up on—“ And Blake pressed the red button anyway. He knew some more questioning texts would follow, but as long as Blake stayed vague about it, he didn’t truly had to lie about it.

 

 

 

Just when Blake came back outside, he straight up walked towards the pool.

He tilted the bottle of sunscreen up towards the two older boys and they understood the hint, as they climbed out of the pool. Quickly they both covered their entire bodies with it, before splashing back inside the water.

On purpose Blake shrieked, as if the water splashes had reached him. Obviously he shouldn’t have done that. The two boys immediately started using their water pistols that were laying in the pool and shot towards Blake’s. The cowboy yelled out while quickly taking a water pistol as well and started shooting back.  Their enthusiastic yelling caught Apollo’s attention as well as he left his car toys behind and started wobbling his way towards Blake.

Out of the corner of Blake’s eyes, he had seen the toddler moving his way. So Blake immediately took the two year old in his arms, as he tried to hit both himself and Apollo behind a nearby three.

Just right then they heard a horn of a car, and every single one of them just easily assumed it would be Josh and RaeLynn.

“I’ll go”, Gwen told Blake, as she dropped her phone –as obviously she had been filming the water fight- and headed towards the gate.

She pressed on the security button to open it. As usually, she waited for the gate to open,  to shortly wave at Rae. But to her surprise she didn’t immediately see Rae or her car in that matter. So Gwen frowned while casually walking out of the gate and glance around the street. There were a few cars parked at the end of the street, but none of them was RaeLynn’s. She took a few more steps further to get a better sight of the street, but no one to be seen.

So confused Gwen shook her head lightly, as she decided to turn back around. It wasn’t until then that at the opposite of the street, she saw a small piece of paper laying. Gwen’s brows furrowed as somehow she seemed to recognize it with her handwriting. Hesitantly she was about to take a few steps towards it, until she stopped right in her steps. She turned around and looked at Blake and her boys in the distance, still busy with the water fight.

“Blake?”, she cried out then as she could feel her breathing getting heavier. “Blake?”, she shouted even louder.

She saw his head turn her way and almost immediately drop his waterpistol down. She could hear him tell the boys that the fight would be continued in a bit.

With huge steps he walked her way, still with Apollo tightly wrapped in his arms.

“Sweetie? You ok?”, Blake’s southern accent appeared then as she waited carefully on him. It’s yet until she could actually hear his footsteps nearby walk to her, that Gwen dared to close the last steps. She walked up towards the note on the other side of the street. She crouched down to it and took it in between her fingers.

It was indeed her handwriting, which made her frown, until she read the words.

“Never thought this would happen, got to let it sink in, you’re gone”,

Her heart started pounding in her chest when she realised which note this was. The one she left on the kitchen counter along with the divorce file. Gavin’s note.

Rapidly Gwen snapped her head to both sides of the road, looking around her, searching for him.

Suddenly she felt a hand on top of her shoulder, making her jump up and almost cry out.

“Gwen shh it’s ok”, Blake closed his free arm around her and held her tight. In the meantime Blake walked them back to the side of the road. It wasn’t until she handed him the note, that he cautiously looked in all the possible directions.

“What the hell”, Blake whispered underneath his breathe.  He dragged her along with him onto his driveway again and immediately closed the gate.

As soon as the gate was fully closed, he put Apollo back down on his feet and pulled Gwen into a very tight hug.

 

 

 

“What do you think it means?”, Gwen asked wide in the open, a couple hours later. All four of her boys were in the pool, Apollo wearing inflatable air sleeves.

“Maybe he just wanted to let you know that he found out where you are”, RaeLynn softly spoke while picking the note up from the table and twisting it with her fingers.

“He didn’t write a message on it for you or anything?” she added to which Gwen shook her head.

“Nope he didn’t add a single dot” Gwen sighed while burying her face in her hands.

“Do you think it some kind of warning?”, Josh asked her then and Gwen nodded.

“It’s not a ‘welcome to the neighbourhood’ kinda card. It’s a ‘I know where to find you’ one.” Gwen spoke softly while she glanced over at the pool. Apollo had both of his arms thrown around Blake’s neck, as Blake was trying to swim. That made a tiny smile come to her face.

“Blake called our lawyer and she said it might be for the best to not take any risks and just head back to LA, tomorrow already. From there on we could get a bodyguard or something until the case is closed”,

 Rae nodded her head.  “Yeah maybe that’s for the best” The girl reached her hand out over the garden table. Gwen did the same and let her hand meet hers.

“It will work out alright, ok? Just enjoy this day now, go take a swim with your boys and the amazing man that loves you so much”, RaeLynn squeezed her hand and Gwen let out a sigh of relief to have her here. She nodded.

“You’re right”, Gwen stood up and walked over to the other side of the table. She wrapped her arms around RaeLynn’s neck to give her a hug. “Thank you”

“That’s what friends are for”, Rae said right back while smiling.

Only a few seconds later, Gwen lowered herself down in the water. Just when it started to reach her stomach , she let out a short shriek. Blake chuckled while swimming over towards her. He threw his arms around her back, lifting her up towards him. She wrapped her legs around his middle while holding onto his neck with her arms.

The kids had barely noticed their mom’s arrival as they kept concentrating on trying to get on top of some inflatable mattress.  So Gwen leaned down and let her lips fall down on top of his for a long, slow kiss.

“You ok?”, He asked while she could feel his hand rub over her back underwater. A tiny, worried smile thrown her way. 

Gwen nodded. “As long as I have you, I am”


	23. twenty-three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> phewwwww enjoy!

Blake was nervously drumming his finger on the back of the couch. His eyes were glued on the television screen, even though he had not a single clue what he was looking at. In his head there might’ve been in a million thoughts, literally haunting him. Whatever he would try to do as a distraction, they kept on coming. The only distraction that brought him back alive goes by the name of Gwen Stefani. And considering Gwen was at that moment upstairs, tucking in her three lovely rascals, his worry was eating him alive. For the last couple of hours he had been pretending to be the cool, calm boyfriend, Gwen’s rock… but dammit was he concerned about what was coming next.

Suddenly he almost boost out of the couch when he felt a hand landing on top of his nervous tapping fingers. When he turned his head, still spooked, he saw RaeLynn sitting next to him. He hadn’t noticed her entering the living room or even sit down beside him in that matter.

“Come back to us”, RaeLynn spoke gently while rubbing one of her fingers over his skin. Blake smiled shortly her way before throwing his eyes down. “How bad do you think it will get?”,

Blake shook his head unknowingly. “I don’t know”, doubtfully he found Rae’s eyes again. “I fear he’ll do everything to make her life a living hell”,

Blake could see the worry fill the girl’s eyes as well. She bit her lip breezily while picking her hand up from on top of his, to rub her forehead.

“She deserves so much better”, he whispered underneath his breath. That was RaeLynn’s cue to move closer towards the cowboy. She squeezed his body tightly against her and nestled her head on his chest. Blake exhaled as he eventually let his arm fall around her as well.

 “Are you sure that Josh shouldn’t stay? We could come along to LA or—“

“No no no, there’s nothing you guys can do”, Blake stroked his hand over Rae’s arm in a thankful gesture.

“I’m just glad you’re here now”, Rae glanced at him with her warm smile. “Me too”,

A few moments later Blake could hear footsteps. The cowboy glimpsed over his shoulder to find Gwen on the end of the stairs.

“Boys are all tucked in”, Gwen said while strolling into the living room. RaeLynn slightly started to crawl away from Blake and threw Gwen a brief smile.

“They aren’t happy that we’re already leaving tomorrow, though”, Gwen leaned her stomach against the back of the couch while stroking through Blake’s curvy, soft hairs.

Blake glanced over his shoulder again to catch the brown in her eyes. The second he discovered a hint of sadness in them as well, he knew the boys weren’t the only one somber to leave. He reached his hand out towards her and landed on top of her hip. “We’ll come back soon, hah? Next school vacation or something?”,

That made Gwen’s corner of her lips curl up while nodding.

“Come over here”, he said while patting on his lap. Obviously she didn’t hesitate as she walked by the couch and let her body collide on top of his. Her back was tightly pressed against his chest while her eyes met the television screen for the first time.

“What are we watching?”,

“I have not a single clue”, That made Gwen laugh while looking up at him. Seeing her smile, made him feel better and his dimpled smile followed. Out of the corner of their eyes they could see Josh enter the living room as well. He came to sit down next to Rae, immediately throwing his arm around her. But Blake couldn’t get his eyes off of Gwen for a single second. He just kept grinning at her. He reached his head up towards hers and Gwen met him halfway. Their lips brushing against each other. He could feel Gwen’s nails faintly stroke over his scruff before they pulled back and decided to stop being _that clingy couple_.

“So how’s the wedding planning going?”, Blake asked the other two love birds in the room. RaeLynn immediately started raging on about how they would had found a authentic, charming little church for the ceremony. The diner and party after, would be in a beautiful barn to stick to their country roots. Blake smiled to see her talk so enthusiastically about her _whimsical wedding_. All of that while in the meantime Josh had one of his arms tossed around her and was staring at her with the most heart filled eyes, over his heels in love.

That made Blake grin as he wandered his eyes off to Gwen. She was still beaming at RaeLynn, completely taking over her excitement. He could feel his body warm up by seeing her so happy. So the cowboy tightened his arms on her waist. Nonchalantly Gwen launched her arm around Blake’s neck as well, letting Blake rest his head against her. Obviously Blake knew that ‘him and Gwen’ were super fresh and even barely anyone knew about them, but as he tilted his head to look at Gwen smiling face again, he could feel his heart beat faster.

Only Blake’s imagination of Gwen and him talking about their wedding plans one day made him forget about all their problems. So he smiled brightly while he couldn’t help but shamelessly place a kiss on her cheek, before going back to –at least try to- observing the two fiancés.

 

 

 

 

 

“Their wedding is gonna be so lovely!”, Gwen said while taking off her last bits of mascara.

“I can’t wait to actually see it, you know? Like the way they described it, I seems like a dream wedding, you know what I mean?”, She turned the light out into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She saw Blake sitting at the edge of the bed. He was just busy kicking his shoes off while he chuckled at her with sparkling eyes.

“Yeah it definitely sounds wonderful” , Blake replied as he reached his arms out, approaching her. The second she was reachable, he pulled her close to him by the waist. Gwen smiled while straddling him and sitting down on his lap, facing him. Her arms thrown around his neck as she waved her head backwards, to let her hair fall down over her back.

When she looked back up she saw Blake’s eyes still fully focused on her. Charmingly she smiled at him while he just kept on staring at her like a fool.

“What?”, Gwen laughed shyly while looking away from him.

Blake chuckled then while placing his hand on her cheek and bringing her eyes back to his.

“You’re stunning, that’s all”

Gwen beamed at him for a few seconds and placed her lips on his for a sweet, grateful kiss.

“So what do you think of Josh?”, he asked her while stroking circles over the small of her back.

“He’s so lovely! And they are so damn cute together! I swear I won’t ever stop talking about them until their wedding day”,

That made Blake laugh, and soon Gwen joined him.

“Are you making fun of me?”, Gwen asked him amused, while punching him on his chest, causing him to fall from his sitting position to his back hitting the mattress. With that Blake’s laughter reached her ears again.

“No definitely not, I just think it’s cute”,

Gwen lowered her body down on top of Blake as well. She did roll off of his body though, ending up laying beside him on the her back as well. Soon Blake rolled towards his side already, just to be able to face her, using one of his hands as a headrest.

“So tell me, miss. Stefani, what would your dream wedding look like?”, That caught her immediate attention as her big brown eyes glared at him, pleasantly occupied by the question. She bit her lip to think for a few seconds.

“lilies”, was the first thing she said with a big smile on her face.

“lilies?”, Blake retorted, causing her to excitedly nod her head.

“Yeah but only white ones!”, She said with the most adorable giggle, causing Blake to smile even brighter.

“Are you a white color kinda person?”, he asked her, causing her to frown.

“In wedding dress you mean?”, Blake shrugged to think while ending up nodded.

“Well actually, with Gavin my dress was white… but it did have a fiercely pink dip dye”, Gwen said while wincing at her own words. That caused Blake to throw his head back while chuckles filled the air.

“Really?”, he asked sweetly, trying to hold his laugh.

“Yes, shut up! It was beautiful then”,  she playfully hit him on the chest then. He chuckled a bit more before placing his lips on her shoulder. “Hmmm what else…”, she thought for a couple of seconds while staring at the ceiling.

“Oh right!”, she cried out then. “You gotta prepare yourself for this one”, she chuckled while glancing over at him, who had his eyebrows pulled up out of curiosity. “When the day comes that we start planning our wedding, know than that I want to marry on a beach”,

That caused Blake to chuckled. “Oh so no Oklahoma is what you mean, hah?”, He tossed his arm around her middle, tickling her side for only a couple seconds and Gwen giggled.

“Well actually, I would be just as happy if we’d marry here, by your lake”, Gwen grinned at him, clearly envisioning it. She bit her lip then, softly, as she suddenly was hit by a feeling of how damn beautiful her boyfriend is.

“That would be less expensive”, Blake joked causing Gwen to throw her head back laughing while playfully pushing his chest again, making him fall on his back. Blake chuckled for a few more seconds, until he felt Gwen rolling his way and cuddling up onto his chest.

“No but for real, like it’s not that I’m gonna propose to you in a few weeks or something”, Blake chuckled while taking a pause. Gwen reached her head up and looked at him with a silly smile. “But when I look in my future, you’re all I can see”,

Gwen threw her head back and laughed, to Blake’s surprise. “Did you just quote your own song?”,

Blake thought for a second, before he realised that he actually did, for real. So you can only imagine the amount of laughter that followed after that. “Oh wow, I guess I just did”, both of them were left in a double for few more minutes. They got control over it a couple more times, until they looked back at one another, and the laughter started again.

“No but in all seriousness now Gwen, I cannot imagine my life without you in it anymore”,  He stroke over her spine while meeting Gwen’s eyes. He saw tears dwell up in them already.

“Oh God Blake, you’re gonna make me cry!”, she giggled while wiping at her eyes a couple times before looking back up at him.

“You’re stuck with me, Blake Shelton, one day we’ll have a beach wedding”, she smirked while shortly winking at him.

“That’s a promise”,

 

 

 

 

Gwen groaned while blinking her eyes open. She could see sunbeams coming from under the curtain, which made her frown. Is it really morning already? When did she fall asleep? Gwen wiped her eyes a few times before fighting them to squint open. Her eyes met Blake’s ceiling then, before she glanced over to her still sleeping boyfriend, spooning up to her. A smile appeared. She still felt kind of odd as she really could no longer remember when she fell asleep. The last thing she remember was her and Blake talking about their dream wedding on a beach, and somehow somewhere in the middle of their conversation she must have drifted off.

She glanced over at the clock to find out it was around an hour before their alarm would go off, so she frowned, confused why she would’ve woken up earlier. Gwen is the kind of person who loves to sleep, so the day really didn’t start off good as she woke up before her alarm went off.

Just when Gwen had nestled herself in Blake’s embrace again, she could hear the door crack open. Gwen tilted her head up from on the pillow to look over at the door. It wasn’t the door towards the hallway though, but the door towards the room Gwen used to sleep in.

In the door opening there was a very sleepy Apollo standing, with his floppy teddy in his hand. His other hand he was using to wipe the sleep out of his eyes. Instantly Gwen knew why she had woken up now. It’s a mom thing, she figured. Ever since she just had Kingston, she almost always wakes up when they would.

“Hey boo boo”, Gwen whispered while softly moving away from Blake’s body. She reached her arms out towards her youngest, causing him to wobble her way. Gwen tilted him up on the bed and placed him on top of her lap.

“You’re up early”, she spoke softly, causing Apollo bob his head tiredly.

“I had a bad dream”, Apollo mumbled out, not having noticed his mom’s whispering tone earlier, as he decided to speak quite loudly. Gwen winced at his volume while carefully turning her head towards Blake’s. His blue eyes were right on them.

“did we wake you?”, She asked with a regretful tune, but Blake shook his head.

“I heard the door crack”, And suddenly Apollo’s tiny head snapped Blake’s way.

“Blakey!”, The toddler immediately cheered up, as he hadn’t taken notice of the cowboy earlier. He immediately crawled out of Gwen’s lap and moved towards Blake.

Gwen watched the scene right in front of her and just shook her head while laughing. Blake got a sloppy kiss from Pollo before Blake pulled the toddler’s back against his chest and cuddled up to him.

Blake looked at Gwen with a smirk. “How about we go back to sleep for a little, hah? No more bad dreams now, cause I got ya”,

Apollo had closed his eyes already as he nodded his head slightly.

“It’s clear who he prefers”, Gwen joked, causing Blake to chuckle before patting his hand down on the mattress on the other side of Apollo. So Gwen laid down again as well, smiling at Blake, before both of stumbled into a slumber.

 

 

The next time Blake woke up, it was by hearing soft giggles and clinching of glasses and cutlery. Blake frowned as he heard whispering voices on the stairs, followed by a giggle he recognized as RaeLynn. So Blake yawned softly before opening his eyes. The first thing his eyes landed on was Apollo’s long curls, right next to him, still Gwen, snoozing. He stretched his arms for a few seconds and then a knock on the door followed.

Gwen grunted while blinking her eyes open. She met Blake’s big smirk and she smiled right back before rubbing her eyes. She then felt Blake lean into her and place his lips against hers.

“Good morning sweetie”,

“Good morning babe”, Gwen winked at him.

“Come in”, Blake answered.

Kingston peaked his head from after the door.

“Hi”, that made Blake chuckle. Soon his body followed from behind the door as well. In his hands was a tray filled with all kinds of yummy breakfasts. “Be careful”, whispered a soft, country accent slightly worried as the tray started to wobble in his softly shaking hands. That caused Gwen to let out a soft chuckle as well. Clearly RaeLynn had helped them put this together.

Right after Kingston’s entrance, the blond haired, grinning boy followed. Gwen couldn’t see the young singer, as she stayed put behind the door, but she did wait until she had seen the tray arrive safely at their destination, on top of the blankets. After that the door closed again.

“Is that a heart shaped pancake?”, Blake asked with a silly grin on his face. Kingston instantly started bobbing his head.

“Just like you taught us!”,

Blake smiled brightly while tilting his body up. He couldn’t help but feel proud that he was able to teach them something. He’s aware it’s just a simple pancake and that he didn’t like teach them how to walk or talk in that matter –which all three of them are pretty good in by the way, just like their momma- but still.

“It’s to say thank you”, Zuma adorably said, while in the meantime he ran over to Gwen’s side. He climbed on top of the bed and moved towards his mom. Gwen’s arm immediately pulled him towards her for a good morning hug.

“Thank you for giving us an amazing vacation in Oklahoma”, Kingston added while fixing his eyes on Blake. “And just thank you for um— you know -- Just thank you”, He ended up saying, causing Blake to nod at him in gratitude. They didn’t truly need words for Blake to know what they meant.

“No, thank you”, Blake responded while spreading his arm out to the kid. Kingston came to sit besides Blake and gave him a short, but meaningful embrace.

“You too, Zuma, thank you for giving me an amazing vacation”, The sweet boy was still holding onto Gwen as he just brightly beamed at Blake.

“Is Pollo still sleeping?”, Kingston asked then, genuinely surprised, when suddenly his eye had fallen on top of his youngest brother. He was still laying passed out in between Blake and Gwen. When Gwen nodded her head, Kingston started laughing.

Gwen reached her hand out to softly stroke his curlers from behind his eyes. With gentleness, she stroke her fingers over his chubby cheeks, but that didn’t even make him open his eyes. Gwen giggled while leaning in and placing a kiss on his cheek. That did caught his attention as his eyes shot open and he stared at her with completely bright opened eyes.

Clumsily and slightly confused of where he was, he pushed himself to sit on his butt. His eyes scanned the room and he smiled when he noticed Zuma’s presence as well. But the moment his eyes landed on top of the breakfast, a full grin appeared.

“Food!”, He shouted, causing all of them to laugh.

 

 

 

 

Only a few hours later, everyone had changed clothes and had started packing. Gwen could hear Blake talking with Josh downstairs, when in the meantime she herself was in their room –and her previous room- to gather all her things and put it in her back. Gwen was happy to be pretty chaotic right now, because of it she could keep herself busy. And as long as she was busy, she didn’t have to think about the fact that she was leaving Oklahoma already. The quietness, the nature, the not as stressful LA.

Just when she was standing in Blake’s room, checking if she had put everything in her bag, she heard the floor crack behind her. She turned her head to find RaeLynn lean against the doorframe.

“Hey”, Gwen smiled.

“Hey”, a small silence. “Ready to go home?”,

Gwen shrugged while re-folding one of her shirts for the hundredth time. “Depends on what you call a home”, She glanced over her shoulder to look at Rae. “When my boys are with me, I’m always home”,

That made RaeLynn smile as she softly nodded in agreement.

“I get what you mean, kinda, it’s not the same but I have that with Joshua”, RaeLynn started to approach Gwen now and sat down next to the bag on the bed.

“No it is the same”, Gwen said while glancing over at Rae’s dark blue eyes. “Home isn’t a place right? It is people”, Gwen let out a deep sigh then while looking back down at her bag.

“But I guess we’re never going back to the place my boys call a home, the place they grew up in… and by the way, also the place that I built and decorated… and _that_ \--- that sucks”,

Gwen stared down at her bag while fizzling with some of her shirts again.

“Would you wanna live in that house again? – I mean without him, obviously”,

Gwen thought for a few seconds before bringing her shoulder up.  “I don’t know”, she chuckled bitterly. “Like my boys would want that, and just--  I can’t stand the fact that he lives there now. Like it’s a great house, you know?”,

That made RaeLynn chuckle as well with a grin on her lips. Gwen laughed along before shoving her bag aside and sitting down next to Rae.

“Besides, it’s not even Blake’s style at all, he would literally feel lost”, Gwen laughed. “Like the decoration is all shiny and black&white, you know?”, She described it to Rae, who giggled at that.

“I’m sure he would’ve put his taste aside just for you, though”,

Gwen nodded at that while she could easily imagine that as well. A sweet smile plastered on Gwen’s lips while looking back up at Rae. “He’s that kind of man, hah?”, she spoke proudly, causing RaeLynn to nod.

“By the way, thank you for helping the boys with the breakfast earlier”,

RaeLynn smiled. “It was their idea, I just was the pair of adult hands they needed”, she simply stated.

“But hey, now tell me what’s on your mind”, Gwen said as she saw some sadness hanging around her. “You’re not your bubbly, happy self right now”,

 The young girl softly chuckled while shaking her head.

“It’s nothing. It’s silly, really”,

Gwen smiled. “Tell me anyway”,

A sight escaped RaeLynn’s lips while locking eyes with Gwen. “I guess it just makes me sad that you are going back to LA, like it’s way further away from Nashville”,

That caused Gwen to let out a small laugh while pulling an arm around the pouting Rae.

“I told you it was stupid”, RaeLynn chuckled along.

“I’m gonna miss you, too, Rae”, Gwen rested her head on top of the girl’s shoulder. “We gonna keep texting though, because you’ve been pretty much my best friend lately”,

That caused RaeLynn to laugh while hugging Gwen back. “Good”,

 

 

 

 

 

Everything had been taken care off. The bags had been transported to the car. Also some more calls with the lawyer had been made. The restraining order had been fixed, they’ll have to meet Gavin in court in a few months and until then Gwen will have the full custody. With all the evidence Gwen had kept from the last couple years with Gavin, they were pretty sure that after the lawsuit, they’ll still have the full custody. The schools had been informed that Gavin is no longer their guardian and after the break in at Gwen’s parents house he really wasn’t going to be able to do much more wrong.  Besides that, they’d be under security of a bodyguard for the first few weeks, just to be sure.

Gwen was standing at the front door, her kids a little further on the driveway, waiting for everyone to get in the car. Blake was just checking up on some of the gate’s security and checking the mailbox and stuff.

Josh had to leave for military in a few hours, so until then they would stay in the ranch. From the stories Gwen had heard, that happened quite a lot. People –Blake’s friends and family- staying in Blake’s ranch when he’s not even there, I mean. So as Gwen was talking some more to the couple and about when they’d see each other again,  they could suddenly hear a speeding car in the background of their conversation. Only a second later, the sound of heavy braking. A gigantic bang filled the air, and everyone’s heads snapped towards the street’s way.

_Gwen’s heart raised as immediate tears sprung in her eyes. She cried out a loud ‘NO’ but she couldn’t hear it. The world was silent. Time was frozen. And in slow motion she could see Blake’s body flying on the hood of the car, sliding over the windshield, over the roof. His body dramatically colliding with the floor again._

_Her heartbeat. All she could hear was her heartbeat. The rest was radio silent. Her vision was completely faded except for the life-less body crashed on the black cement. All she could see was him. Blood. And smell? His cologne, that still hang in her hair and the only thing she could taste was his lips on hers. But what she felt? Too much. Fear. Heartbreak. Guilt. Anger. Sadness. Shock… She felt numb. All in one second…_

_Her eye sight went wider again. A pair of white adidas, starting to run. After that, a loud scream bringing her back to earth.  Her oldest. “NO”_

_Gwen’s legs started running, before she even realised._

 “BLAKE!”, Gwen screamed her longs out, while spurting as fast as she could. The second she was nearby, her knees smashed against the cement street.

“Blake baby, oh my God”, She panicked while shoving one of her hands under the back of his head. She could feel her hand getting wet, completely drenched with his blood and she could hear her beating heart in her head again. She raised a shaking hand up towards his stubbly cheek.

Blake groaned in a burning pain. “Gwen?”, Gwen let out a sob while nodding. She cleared her throat.

“I’m right here, Blake, stay with me”, she was able to get out through her panicking voice.“Rae call 911”,

_And just like that, Rae found herself in a position she had been in a few months ago. In complete shock, searching for her phone, trying to call for help. She had to do it as well for the crying female that was sitting next to the broken person that changed her life. Months ago. This time she did have service. Her shaking hands dialled the three numbers and brought the device towards her ear._

Gwen kept making hushing sounds as the tears kept on rolling over her cheeks.

“Gwen?”, His blue eyes fought the light and met hers. He even was able to put out a short smile for her. But his voice… it was filled with pain, absolute suffering.

“They are on their way, hang on”,

“No babe, they won’t be—“

“Don’t you dare say it!”, Gwen interrupted, rather hysterical, while she could see the blood of his injuries increase by the second. “They’ll be here any second!”, she told him in complete denial.

“Gwen, don’t feel bad”, he grunted out, while he put his last strength into bringing his hand up to stroke his fingers over her cheek. “Gwen, baby, before I met you, I was drowning”, his voice sounded hoarse and weak.

“No! No!”, Gwen broke down while hiding her face in his flannel shirt. “don’t you dare say goodbye to me!”, Her tears were streaming down on her face. Her arms tightened around his body, trying to find comfort.

“Shhh, hey?”, he mumbled again, his voice so weak she barely recognized it. His hand stroke a strand of her hair behind her ear, while wiping a tear away. “You know I hate to see you cry, so don’t”

Gwen chuckled throughout her tears, remembering how he told her that a few days ago as well, in more pleasant circumstances.

“That’s better”, he whispered with the tiniest smile.

“I can’t do this without you Blake”, she told him while bringing her trembling hand up to muffle her weeps.

“Yes you can, you’re the strongest woman I know”

“And you are the strongest man I know, so don’t give up now! Don’t go, please”, Her tears soaked his shirt and Blake moved his fingers through her hair.

“You promised me Blake! You promised not to leave! You promised not to let me go!”, Gwen mumbled in his shirt as she gasped for air.

“I’m so sorry”, He whispered. “Before I met you, I was drowning”, Blake tilted her chin up to meet her eyes. She wiped away some of her tears and let him talk this time… This time she let him say goodbye.

“You saved me, with all your craziness and drama, you made me realise that there was more to live for”, Gwen held her teeth tight on each other, trying her hardest to say strong. “It’s almost ironic, isn’t it?”, he chuckled, causing him to start coughing. Gwen immediately crawled closer to him, holding him close.

“What is?”, she could hear her voice shake.

“For months I wanted to die, I had nothing to live for”, he paused while he softly grunted from the pain. “And now that I do, now that I have you, your boys, now that I wanna live, here I am”

The smallest smile came to his lips, and suddenly she could feel the muscles in his hand gave in. His eyelids started to get heavier.

“Don’t go, please, you promised to be by my side”

“You have to let me go now. You gave me people worth dying for. I love you, Gwen”, he whispered with the softest smile on his face. “Grace”, he swallowed hard, and Gwen could see him slip away from her.

“You saved me – you were my saving Grace along, Gwen Stefani. My saving grace”, he spoke before his eyes fell shut. Gwen leaned in and brushed her lips on top of his. Vaguely she could feel his soft lips kiss her right back, until they no longer did. His hand slid away from on her cheek and his body gave in.

Gwen pulled her lips off of his and waited for his eyes to open again. But they didn’t.

“NO!”, Gwen angrily shouts, before bursting out in sobs. She started to try and stir him back away. “no come back, please”, She hit her fist a couple of times on his chest as the tears made her eyesight blurry.  “You promised a wedding by the beach, you promised a future, you promised--”, she sobbed as a million thoughts shot through her head. This can’t be true right? The last time she saw his baby blue eyes sparkling with love, his dimpled smile… the last time she heard his soft voice and that country chuckle… The last time that she had tasted his lips on hers… The last time.

She straddled his body and placed her hands on his no longer beating heart. Weakly she pushed down on his chest. She wasn’t ready for it to be the last time.

“I’m not letting you go”,  Her tears kept on falling. She kept repeating how this couldn’t actually be happening…

Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, slightly pushing her away.

“NO! I’m not giving up on him!”, she shouted hysterical and most determined she had ever been.

Instead then, she could feel two other hands, big and male hands, placing on top of hers, pushing along. Carefully they started to replace Gwen’s as she could no longer find the energy to keep on trying and instead, she laid her head into the side of Blake’s neck. Vaguely she could feel RaeLynn’s arms wrap around her, as Josh was replacing Blake’s beating heart.

All that was able to be heard in Tishomingo wasn’t the soft breeze stroking the leaves. It wasn’t some animal wandering through the woods. It wasn’t the raindrops on the roof. It wasn’t a catchy melody by a bird. No. It was breaking of hearts. Hearts filled with love for another ones that’s no longer beating. It were sobs from pure sorrow. And teardrops falling down on the cold cement…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.


	24. twenty-four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and so it continues....

RaeLynn quickly wiped away a single tear that rolled over her cheek. She travelled her eyes down at the woman, lying in her arms. She swallowed while stroking a strand of hair behind Gwen’s ear. Her eyes were closed while her head rested on top of Rae’s shoulder. Even though she might’ve seemed asleep at first cast, Rae knew she wasn’t. Especially because from up close, you could see the constant lines of tears as they stream down from her eyes. At first it used to be mascara lines, but she had cried all of that off already.

RaeLynn closed her eyes, trying to hold back the tears. Weakly she sucked on her bottom lip while peeking at her fiancé. He was sitting right in front of her, the back of his head resting against the wall. His eyes were closed. On both of his sides, Gwen’s oldest were sitting. Zuma had leaned down against Josh while Kingston kept sorrowfully staring out of the window. And the little one? Apollo was sitting on top of Joshua’s limb. His eyes were confused as he scanned the room, not truly realising the seriousness of the situation.

As RaeLynn had noticed the toddler look around in the room, she started to do the same. Shouldn’t a waiting room at least be a bit cosy, RaeLynn wondered. As she look around her, the walls were white. The floor was white. All the chairs were white. Guess what colour even the vase had? Yep. White. For some reason, it frustrated the hell out of her. She didn’t really know why, it’s not like she ever cared about what a good waiting room should look like. But nevertheless, it innerved her. It made her feel angry even. Angry that the damn society doesn’t even care about their people. Making those freaking waiting room a bit more cosy was the least they could do. Anger. _Not really at the society, though. But she needed something to be angry at._

Out of nowhere Gwen raised her head up and snapped her eyes open, startling Rae.

“I should call Adam”, It seemed to have just shot through her head, as she was about to jump out of the chair and call the guy up, but then RaeLynn shook her head.

“Hospital already did”, Rae made clear. So Gwen searched Rae’s eyes all confused.   

“I guess ever since Miranda and him divorced, he must have changed his emergency call from Miranda to Adam”, the girl explained while stroking her hand up and down over Gwen. RaeLynn could see a hint of relief in Gwen’s eyes. She wasn’t sure if it was because she was glad that she didn’t have to call Adam herself or if it was about being glad that Blake had someone like Adam that he could rely on, back in the day. RaeLynn figured it would be a mixture of both.  

Gwen let out a heavy sigh before allowing her head to fall on Rae’s shoulder again.

Suddenly the elevator opened, causing Gwen to stir up, and so did all the people in the waiting room. RaeLynn had tilted her head towards it and it’s then, and only then, that she let her tears start fall. She boosted out of her chair with force and turned towards the elevator. A brown haired, worried woman walked into the room. And those eyes…  that particular ocean blue color.

“RaeLynn, poor girl”, was the first thing she said when their eyes met one another. The distance between them immediately closed. Their arms went around each other and a soft sob escaped Rae’s lips. For a few seconds, they stood in each other’s embrace, until the woman started to speak.

 “Kido, tell me what happened”,

RaeLynn took a tiny step backwards and she could feel hands cupping both of her cheeks, drying her tears.

“A car hit him”, her voice trembled, which was Josh’s cue to jump up. “and his heart stopped. They are operating right now, I’m so sorry, Dot”,

 

 

Silently Gwen walked over towards her boys, took Apollo over from Josh and pulled him into her chest. In the meantime she watched the exchange of love, sadness and tears happen right in front of her.

Dorothy shook her head while pulling Raelynn back against her chest. The woman her eyes were filled with tears as well by now. And soon Josh put his hand on top of his fiancé’s shoulder, causing her to turn around and pull her arms around him.

And right then, the elevator opened again. A blonde woman this time. And Gwen immediately recognized her. Sure she had seen multiple photos of Blake’s family before, but you couldn’t miss it. She looked so much like him. The eyes, the shape of head, even her body language and the way she walked reminded Gwen of the most amazing man she had ever met. Only siblings could relate this much.

Her eyes eventually ended up on Blake’s mom again. The woman had just given Josh a tiny squeeze on his shoulder before her eyes looked behind her and a few more hugs were shared between with her daughter.

Until eventually, Dot’s eyes  started scanning the rest of the room. Gwen felt anxious, because what’s the right thing to do now? Walk over? Introduce yourself as Gwen or more likely the reason your son might be dead. But the second their eyes locked, Dorothy shot her a small smile. At first Gwen thought it was just out of friendliness, but then she could see his mom actually start to walk into her direction. Gwen felt slightly surprised as she stood up and gently put Apollo down on the chair she had been sitting on. The next time she looked up, the woman was already right in front of her.

“You must be Gwen”, she said then with that accent that was so similar to his. It sounded so very soft and southern, with such a warm tone in it. Gwen could almost imagine how she’d have that deep belly laugh as well, whenever some joke was made. Eventually Gwen remember to answer, so hesitantly nodded.

“I’m his mom”,

Gwen swallowed while clinching her teeth together, trying to hold herself from crying. Instantly she nodded her head knowingly, afraid to use her voice.

“It’s good to finally meet you”, And just like that, one single tear did roll over Gwen’s cheek again. She hadn’t met the woman before, Gwen wasn’t even aware about Blake telling his mom about her yet… but somehow Gwen already admired her. Her strength, her kindness, her care about others. How could it be otherwise, right? She is the woman that raised Blake after all.

Gwen felt a bit overwelhmed when the next thing Dorothy did was put her arms around her as well. Gwen instantly returned the, while holding the woman as close as she could, wanting to hug all the pain away.

“I am so sorry”, Gwen mumbled then, to which Dorothy shook her head.

“It isn’t your fault”,

 _Yes it is_ , Gwen thought.   _This is all my fault._ But before she could fully go there, to dark place filled with guilt, she felt Dorothy stir a little.

“Let’s sit down, for a minute”, The woman spoke damaged and terrified, while pulling out of the embrace. She sat down right next to Kingston and Gwen followed her movements. She looked confused and scared by now, and Gwen couldn’t imagine the pain she must be feeling. Obviously Gwen her heart was in a million pieces, but being at edge of losing a son? Losing her second son? Gwen can’t imagine and she suddenly felt bad for being the one crying.

“Do you want some water?”, Gwen asked impulsively, not even waiting for her answer, as she walked over to the cold dispenser and started to fill a cup.

A few seconds later she was right back, handing Dorothy the water.

“You’re very kind”, Dorothy thanked her while taking a sip of her water.  “Blake always speaks very highly of you, now I see why”,

Gwen huffed while she could feel a tear prickle in her eyes again. She picked Apollo up from the chair and sat down next to her.

“You’ve only met me for a couple of seconds, how would you know?”, Gwen asked her with a small chuckle, even with a hint of bitterness and disbelief in it, as she quickly wiped a tear away, trying to hide it.

“Sweetie”, Dorothy said while placing a hand on top of Gwen’s knee. “I don’t need to know you to see you have a heart of gold. And one that truly cares about my son”,

Gwen shyly looked at her while forming a short smile.

“Speaking about sons, those are yours, right?”,

Gwen nodded while pulling her arm tighter around Apollo. “His name’s Apollo”, Gwen informed her, which made her nod with a teeny smile.

Dorothy reached her hand out towards the toddler caressed over his chubby cheeks. “Nice to meet you”, Dorothy used her baby voice, to which Gwen softly smiled. Apollo showed her one of his fabulous, enormous grins, making Dorothy laugh a bit.

“It’s Blakey’s momma”, Gwen softly told her youngest, while stroking over his scalp. The toddler immediately raised his head from Gwen’s towards Dorothy.

“Blakey!”, Apollo enthusiastically shouted, causing both of them at first to laugh, until it hit Gwen like a knife in the back. Dorothy had noticed as she put a pitiful smile on her lips.

“What are your names again?” Dorothy asked while bending over to look at her two oldest. “Blake had mentioned all of you over the phone millions of times, but my memory is bothering me lately”, she added, causing Kingston to give her a soft smile. “My age I guess“, She added jokingly, causing both the boys to let out a small huff, before, as well, turning sad again.

“I’m Kingston”,

“Zuma”,

Dorothy smiled lovely  as she nodded. “Now I remember”, she said then. “I’m Blake’s mom”,

“You look a lot like him!”, Zuma immediately spit out, to which Kingston rolled his eyes.

“No, Zum, Blake looks a lot like her, not the other way around”, Kingston wisely spoke, causing Dorothy to laugh shortly. After that she brought her gaze back up on Apollo who was staring at her wide eyes.

 “You raised three beauties”,

“So did you”, Gwen immediately answered, causing Dorothy to swallow while giving Gwen a thankful nod.

“So he told you about me?”, Gwen finally found the courage to ask, causing her to hesitantly nod.

“You and those boys were all he talked about in the last few phone calls”, That brought an instant smile to Gwen’s lips as she looked down at Apollo in her lap.

“Blake is—“, Gwen stopped as she could feel a lump create in her throat. “Blake is so rare… he’s like a hero, you know? Our hero”, she said while softly stroking her fingers through his curls. “So thank you”

 

 

 

 

Hours and hours kept on passing by, Gwen had spend some of them in the hospital chapel, praying to God to not take him from her. Gwen had her face buried within her hands, as she sat like that for minutes, maybe even hours straight, on a wooden large bench. Her back slightly curved, bended forward as she just tried to think about anything but the worst.

“Do you think He listens?”, She suddenly heard a silent, southern voice come from right next to her. Gwen hesitantly tilted her face up from out of her hands. Her eyes met that baby blue eyes again and it felt like a knife through her chest to be faced by that color right now. Endy.

“I have to believe He does”, Gwen whispered back, making the woman nod shortly. A few seconds of silence felt as both of them just stared in front of them. “But then again if He did, then why would he give me such a beautiful man like Blake to just try and take him away from me already?”,

It’s on moments like this that you need your believe, your religion, the0most, but at the very same time you also start to doubt it. Moments like this you wonder if in that matter there is something or someone out there like a God… because why? Why would He let this happen to her then? Why, especially after everything she already has been through… it doesn’t make sense.

Endy clearly didn’t know what to answer to that, but really, would anyone know? Only God, Gwen guessed ironically. She didn’t even need Endy to answer, not at all. The silence felt comfortable. So for minutes they stayed like that. Right beside each other, strangers, but then again not really. Gwen found herself staring in front of her, at a bouquet of lilies at the front of the chapel. White lilies. Just like she had told Blake only a day ago how she would want those on their future dream wedding. For minutes straight, she couldn’t get her eyes off of them. She felt jealous of those damn lilies. So freaking fierce and peaceful, while Gwen felt the complete opposite.

“You know”, Endy suddenly spoke after long minutes of silence. “I once found Blake praying as a teenager”,

Gwen turned her head towards her, giving her a small, surprised smile.

“We didn’t truly grew up in a religious family, like we never went to church or heard our mom talk about God or anything”, Endy paused. “But then one day I found him praying anyway. It don’t remember what it was about, really, but it fascinated me. So a few days after, I asked him about it. You know what he told me?”,

Endy glanced over at Gwen, who shook her head softly, but curious to hear the rest.

“He said: _“Endy, I wasn’t praying to God_ ”, she mimicked his voice, slightly lower than hers, causing Gwen to smile as she imagined him saying so. _““I don’t need a God when I have Richie to talk to. I’m sure he’s up there_ ””, That caused a smile to appear on Gwen’s face, especially after seeing Endy smile to the memory as well…. Until the corner of her lips fell down again. Her eyes lost that sparkle in only a second of time as she swallowed.

“You know how they always say you can only pray to one God?”, She asked Gwen, in a rhetorical question. “Well, I started to follow his example and started praying to Richie. But what if Blake—“, she couldn’t get it over her lips as she closed her eyes to not let the tears fall.

“Who do I pray _to_ then?”, she stumbled out, while rubbing her fingers over her head.

“Hey”, Gwen whispered while reaching her hand up to Endy’s knee, this time trying to be the stronger one. She gave it a soft squeeze, catching her attention. “How about we pray _for_ him now instead?”,

 

 

 

 

A few minutes later, Gwen walked out of the hospital chapel, giving Endy some space and privacy. She had just taken a seat again, feeling even sadder from seeing Endy’s sorrow and worries. It was dark outside already and Apollo was in RaeLynn’s arms, fast asleep. Also Kingston’s eyes were closed as the back of his head was resting against the white wall. But Zuma? He was sitting down  at the marble windowsill, staring at the city lights and the stars that shined brighter in Oklahoma.

Gwen felt exhausted as she hid her face behind her hands. She closed her eyes, even though she knew that the worry would never let her fall asleep. Vaguely she could hear the elevator open, but she didn’t even find the strength to tilt her head and look up.

Quickened footsteps made their way towards them and she could hear Dot stand up. A few seconds later she heard her voice.

“They are still operating”, She whispered, clearly to not wake up those who had finally found some sleep after over ten hours in the waiting room. It wasn’t for another few seconds that she suddenly heard the person that just arrived ‘s voice.

“Gwen?”, he stumbled out confused.

The familiarity of his voice, made her immediately slide her hands down from her face. Seeing the blonde haired man in front of her, immediately brought tears to her eyes.

“Adam”, And as soon as his name rolled over her lips, she broke down again, whether she wanted it or not. The rockstar immediately started walking towards her and sat down on the chair next to her. He pulled her into his arms. She knew he must’ve had a million question right now.

_Why are you here? What happened? Where you at Blake’s ranch? Why were you there? And your boys are here as well?_

But all of the questions kept unspoken. All Adam knew was that Gwen was Grace and the last thing he was aware of was about Blake not wanting her on the voice. Sure he had seen their friendship develop again on the voice, but what happened next was an unknown subject. But instead of hunting her down with question, he just tightened his grip around her while his hand made soothening circles over her back.

Gwen felt his chin resting on her hair while letting out soft hushes. After a couple of minutes of her wettening his shirt, she pulled away to look at him.

“You ok?”, Adam knew it was a dumb question, because who could be? But nevertheless Gwen shot him a short smile before shaking her head softly.

“Were you there when it happened?”, he asked and Gwen closed her eyes.

 _Vision of Blake flying over the hood of the car, all the way over the roof shoot back trough her brain. His body collapsing against the cement, the blood, his shaking hand, her shaking hand, his words, his kiss… his heart that stopped beating_. And Gwen had to swallow before opening her eyes again. Hesitantly, she nodded.

To her surprise, that was all he asked, nothing more, nothing less, instead all he did was pull her back to him while saying:  “Maybe you should try to sleep”,

Gwen nodded at that and closed her eyes. But she kept on seeing the flashes every time it went dark, so she opened them again. A few minutes later, Zuma joined them, sitting in between Kingston and Gwen, laying his head on his moms lap.

And just like that, they sat there. Adam’s arm thrown around Gwen. Both of them staring in front of them, while Gwen unconsciously stroked through Zuma’s blonde hairs, trying to ease his pain, to which eventually his eyes closed. Kingston right next to his brother, still with his head against the wall, asleep. Just like, for what felt like ages.

 

 

 

Eventually Gwen did find the strength to close her eyes and keep them shut for a good amount of minutes. She was wide awake though, but her eyelids had just felt so very heavy.

“Mr. Shelton’s family?”, An unfamiliar voice spoke, causing Gwen’s eyes to snap open. Two white coated surgeons were right there, to which Dorothy jumped up.

Gwen tilted Zuma’s head gently up from her leg and laid his head down on her seat as she got away from under him. Both Adam and Gwen then headed closer towards the doctors as well while Gwen seeked out for Adam’s hand for support. The second RaeLynn had joined them as well, Dorothy’s voice shined through the room.

“How is he?”

 “First of all, the surgery was a success, but there’s still a chance that something could go wrong”, Gwen was staring at the surgeon who was speaking with a caring voice.

“He had a bad fall on the side of his head”, in the meantime the surgeon raised his hand up towards his left side of his head, which gave Gwen a flashback to when she had putted her hand there, it had been drenched with blood. She swallowed. “In your brain, this place is called the temporal lobe. This lobe is responsible for your knowledge of language and also for a part of your long-term memory”, he paused to give all of them a minute to process the information. “We had to operate him right there to stop the bleeding, and even though we did, all of you must know that there is a chance that if he’d wake up…”,

 _If_ , Gwen thought.

“…there is a chance that the temporal lobe will be damaged and that he’d have to learn how to speak again or that he’d have lost a part of his memory”,

Gwen brought her hands up to stroke her fingers through her hair, worriedly. “Another thing is that throughout the surgery, his heart stopped beating again, luckily we got him back but his brain did lose oxygen for a couple minutes... We don’t know what state he’d be in if he’d wake up”

And Gwen started to feel dizzy. She reached for a chair and let her body fall into it. Her hands were buried over her eyes, as she concentrated on her breathing.

Vaguely she could still hear the doctors talk. “ _Brain death… also broken ribs… he might be in a lot of pain… morphine…”_

Then the room went silent. All Gwen could hear again was the way she breathe. In and out, quite fast after one another. Until Endy’s voice:

“Can we see him?”,

Gwen’s head snapped up and saw the doctor nod.

“Family only”, Gwen couldn’t believe his words as she buried her eyes further into her hands.

“We’re all family”, Dorothy said then drastically, causing the doctor to scan all the people, looking way too different from one another to be a part of the same family.

“Are all of you blood related?”,

And with that Adam lost it.

“What the hell dude? Blood related, really?”, he raised his voice, causing Gwen to snap her head back up. “I flew all the way from LA because my best friend might be dead and he’s my brother for God’s sake! Do you honestly think I give a crap about if we share the same blood? Well then you guessed wrong, man!”,  Gwen shoot up from on her seat, the second she saw him taking a few steps closer towards the doctor. Gwen held Adam back from literally attacking the poor man, as the surgeon seemed genuinely taken aback from the heavy reaction.

“Adam, calm down, they are only doing their job”, Gwen tried to calm him down.

“Doing their job?”, Adam repeated while glancing over at Gwen’s side. A tear rolled down over his cheek as he swallowed. “If this is your job, man, than know you have one hell of a hypocrite one.”,

Adam snapped one last time before Gwen leaded him towards a chair and pushed him down, trying to get him back under control. A silence fell for seconds long, as Gwen crouched down in front of Adam. No one dared to say a word, until Gwen cupped both his cheeks, and made him look at her.

“I just wanna see him”, his voice cracked with pure innocence.

“So yall are family?”, the surgeon asked once more, as if he hadn’t had an answer yet, causing Gwen to turn her head at him confused. She observed his behaviour and the way his tone  had sounded, and Gwen instantly nodded her head.

“Yes we are”, Gwen replied to which the surgeon nodded. Adam raised his head as well, in surprise.

“Follow me”

 

Dorothy and Endy had been the first ones to enter. Both of them had suggested to change places with Gwen, but she hadn’t let them. It was only fair to let his relative and mom go first, no matter how much it was making Gwen anxious. The second the surgeon opened the door again, Gwen could see Endy and Dorothy standing at the end of the hospital bed. With the tiniest steps, Gwen walked in the room as well. Her eyes immediately fell on the cowboy, with a huge bandage wrapped around his head. There were tubs going into his nose and into his hands as well. Gwen had to swallow as she froze for a second, just looking at him.

 “It looks like he’s just sleeping”, Adam whispered, who had walked in right after Gwen had. Out of the corner of her eyes, Gwen could see the women nod in agreement. But no matter what, Gwen couldn’t get her eyes off of him.

Adam had walked over to Blake first, considering Gwen had stopped in her tracks. She could see him take Blake’s hand. Another thing she noticed was how Adam’s lips moved to bring out a few words, but Gwen couldn’t hear it. It was as if all her senses were turned off, expect for her vision. After a minute of Adam just staring at Blake with concerned and sad eyes, Gwen could see his head turn.

Again, Adam’s lips moved, this time to say something to her. He probably wonder why she wasn’t moving.

Quietly and slowly, Gwen walked over to the side of his bed. He did look as if he was sleeping. As in the mornings, when she had woken up before him. Without the bandage and tubes though. She started to reach her hand out towards Blake’s hand, but the second she did so, she could feel her hand terribly shaking. Nevertheless, she brought her hand up to his, and right before it landed on his, she felt scared. Scared to touch him, to hurt him, to do something wrong. So she hesitated, keeping her hand as steady as possible right above his for a few seconds. Eventually, she dared to let her skin touch his. Warm. His soft, warm hands. And just with that, not feeling it cold, feeling it alive, made her take a deep breath in. Gently she placed her hand under his, and tilted it up, she softly placed it over his stomach. Gwen leaned in on the bed and sat down on the edge where his hand had been lying.  Her still shaking hand then quietly went up towards his cheek. Softly she could feel his scruff against her fingertips. She caressed her fingers over it a couple of times. In her mind she could picture the smile that always appears whenever her nails tickle his beard. But nothing now.

“I’m so sorry”, Gwen whispered as a teardrop flew over her cheek. Her nails were still slightly stroking over his cheeks. “Please keep on fighting”, Gwen said then while moving her thumb over his cheeks. “Try to come back to us, ok?”, her voice trembled, but she couldn’t care less.

“Try as hard as you can because I want you to live… I want you to live so badly and see those blue eyes of yours again, to see those dimples, to hear your laugh at me not knowing one of the most famous country singers… I didn’t even knew you”, Gwen softly chuckled, before closing her eyes again to take a deep breath in, to then open them again.

Gwen swallowed as she tried to get rid of the lump in her throat. “But if it hurts too much, if the fighting is causing you too much pain, then I want you to know that it’s ok”, her voice cracked while a few more tears fell down. “Then it’s ok”, she cried. “Then I’ll let you go, like you told me to.”

Gwen leaned her forehead down against his, as sob escaped her lips. “I love you”, She whispered so very softly. She closed the last few inches between them and let her lips meet his. “I love you so much”,

She stroke her hand down over Blake’s cheek a few more times, until she jumped off of the bed and without looking at, Adam, RaeLynn or whoever that was with her in the room, Gwen ran out of it. In top speed she ran over to the toilets and just on time. She had started to feel dizzy and her stomach turned upside down. So when she arrived, she crouched down right in front of the toilet and started to throw up. As soon as she had emptied her stomach and flushed the toilet, she let her body slide down against the toilet door, until she was crouched down. And she cried soft sobs, as felt lonely. She was glad no one had followed her and had given her some space. She wanted to be alone. But she didn’t want to be lonely…

But who do you turn to when the only person in the world that can stop you from crying is the reason that you are?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for people complaining about some things not being clear yet or some things not 'adding up', let me tell you that I'll explain all of it in the last couple of chapters so relax!   
> I hope yall still 'enjoy' this story though!


	25. twenty-five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is super long, but well, whatever!  
> Hope you enjoy it!

For two hours straight, Gwen sat on the floor of the hospital toilets. It was a cold tile floor, and her butt must have been freezing, but she didn’t even notice.  Instead she just sat there, hugging her legs towards her chest. The first half hour, she had cried her eyes out, bawling until she had no tears left. And from that moment on she just sat there, staring in front of her, facing the toilet. There was nothing to be seen, but she just kept her eyes wide open.

Another half hour later, her phone buzzed for the hundredth time, but she couldn’t even bring her eyes to the screen to see who it was.

After 30 more minutes, a knock on the door followed. RaeLynn’s voice softly called her name but Gwen just kept silent, she wanted to be alone right now. A few minutes later also Adam tried to get through to her, but it was as if she didn’t even hear them.

She knew there were people right behind that door that cared about her, that would hold her in their arms, but she couldn’t get herself to move… not even when an emotional, scared children’s voice reached her ears. Her middle boy crying out for her, terrified.

“Mom?”,

And her eyelids fell shut. “Mom, please”, Gwen moved her hand up to cover her lips, trying to not start sobbing again.

“Please, say something”, Zuma said next with a trembling, worried voice. “Are you ok?”, She could actually imagine him standing against the door right now, with his forehead resting against it. But not even this, not even her boys could break through to her.

It lasted a couple of minutes, until she could no longer hear her boy his breathing. Instead footsteps softly leaving her.

And it’s right then that Gwen knew she couldn’t do this. For years, ever since she had had Kingston, she had always been able to put her boys above everything. No matter what happened, she’d keep her boys happy and save, even if it had cost her own happiness. But right now? She couldn’t. She couldn’t even get up to reassure Zuma that everything is ok. She couldn’t even make an attempt to try and make him feel better. For the first time ever, she couldn’t be the mom they deserve.

And with that realisation, she moved her eyes to land on her phone. With shaking hands she started to reach for it, until she eventually held it in both of her hands.

She looked at the screen… but who do you call, if the person you’d call to cover up a murder is out cold? If the person you need won’t be able to pick up? She unlocked her phone anyways and found herself dialling a number. Once she succeeded and pressed the green button, Gwen brought the phone up to her ear.

It rang a couple of times until it went over. A short silence before a voice shined through her phone.

“Hello?”,

Gwen waited for a few seconds. “Mom?”, and her voice cracked.

 

 

 

 

Gwen calmly opened the door then and the first thing her eye landed on was Zuma.  He was sitting by himself, on the ground against a wall, a few steps away from the toilet door. He never left.

Without saying another word, Gwen walked over to him and crouched down. She used her thumb to wipe away a tear. His arms wrapped themselves around her neck as he kept on holding her close. She picked Zuma up in her arms. Actually he was already too old to be carried, but she needed to feel his body close to hers. She needed him to feel better. So with Zuma in her arms, she started walking back at the waiting room, very much aware when she passed Blake’s room, but denying herself from glancing inside.

Once she arrived back into the waiting room, she could feel everyone’s worried eyes on hers, but luckily no one said a thing. Instead Gwen placed Zuma down next to Kingston. She walked up towards RaeLynn to gently take Apollo from her and within a few more steps, Gwen was crouched down in front of her two oldest again, with Apollo still in her arms.

Gwen cleared her throat.

“Grandma is on her way over here. She’s going to take you with her—“,

“Mom, no!”, Kingston interrupted her, disagreeing at a high level. Gwen wasn’t even open to interrogate about it, so she decided to close her eyes for a second before going on.

“You’ll have to stay with Grandma’s for a while, I don’t know how long yet but--”,

“NO! Mom!” , Kingston repeated, louder this time, to which Gwen eventually tilted her head towards her oldest. “I’m not leaving”, He said stubbornly.

“You are going to LA with Grandma, all three of you”, Gwen answered as determined, to which King’s eyes started to fill.

“You’re just being selfish now!”, He screamed while jumping up from on his chair. Zuma stopped him from walking away as he reached for his arm.

“Zuma! Let go of me!”, He shouted angrily before turning back to his mom. “We love him too you know!”, Tears from sorrow and anger were running over his cheeks and before anyway could stop him, he started to run away.

Gwen hid her face within her hands, just when Adam boosted out of his chair as well.

“I’ll go”, he said, getting a thankful nod from Gwen before he ran off, following the nine year old.

 

 

 

 

After walking through a few hospital halls, Adam finally found Kingston sitting down against a wall. Hesitantly Adam walked over to him and let his body slide down besides him. A minute without saying a word passed, until Adam turned his head to look at him.

“I like your hair”, Adam said then, causing Kingston to look up.

“Thanks”, was all he answered before glancing back in front of him. “How come your beard is brown and your hair blond?”,

That caused Adam to let out a short laugh. “I dyed it blond”,

Kingston turned his head again and gave him one more weird glance.

“Don’t you like it?”,

King shrugged, not truly caring. “It’s fine”,

“My wife loves it blond”, Adam then shared causing Kingston to shoot him a curious look.

“You are married?”,

Adam nodded while proudly tilting his hand in the air to show off his wedding ring.

“To an amazing woman with the name Behati”,

Kingston smiled at that while turning his head to meet Adam’s eyes again.

“Where is she?”,

“In London for work”, Adam answered a bit sadly, which cause Kingston to give him his sad eyes.

“It’s fine”, Adam added. “She was on point to leave to get here as soon as she heard, but I told her that she shouldn’t”, he explained the kid, who nodded, trying to understand why. He couldn’t though.

“Is she a singer as well?”, He asked interested waiting to see Adam shake his head.

“A model”, That got Kingston’s attention again as his eyes grew and his brows flew up.

“So she’s probably really pretty?”,

That made Adam laugh softly. “She is, but I’ll tell you this”, Adam brought out while poking the kid into his side. “She’s even more pretty on the inside”

That made Kingston grin before looking down at his hands.

“Would you want to get married one day?”

Kingston shrugged again, as he thought about it for a while. “Maybe, with the right girl”

That made Adam nod. “Anyone you have an eye on already?”, Adam winked at the boy while bumping his shoulder into the young boy’s.

Kingston chuckled while shaking his head.

“Talking about girls”, Adam said while trying to catch the boy’s eyes. “Your mom meant well”

Kingston tensed up again, when in the meantime he ignored Adam’s burning gaze. “She had no right to decide for me, I’m already nine”, Kingston mumbled underneath his breath, clearly still mad about it.

Adam pulled an arm around the boy then, trying to reconnect. “Your mom is hurting, King”, he said which made Kingston swallow. “She’s scared to lose Blake, just like you are and just like I am”, he said.

“But the difference is that your mom has a responsibility over all three of you, because you are her kids, you know? And she can’t live up to that responsibility right now because she feels hurt and scared… And I get it, you’re already nine and you can take care of yourself”, Adam told him while stroking his hand over the kid’s arm. “But your brothers can’t. They need you to be there for them, when your mom can’t be. That’s why maybe it’d be better if you’d go with them to LA…”

Kingston had kept his head against Adam’s chest, as he listened to every word. It filled his heart with pain, rather than anger now. He knew it was though on everyone, especially his mom… but he just wants to know if Blake will be fine, just like all of us. Eventually Kingston sighed before carefully moving his head to meet Adam’s brown eyes again.

“I don’t want him to die”, The young boy’s eyes filled with tears as soon as the words left his lips. Adam reached out for him and pulled him back in his embrace.

“Me neither, sweetie, me neither”

 

 

 

 

The rest of the night went by slowly, but silently. Gwen and her boys were sitting around Blake’s bed, mostly just staring at him until her two youngest fell asleep at one point. Not Kingston though. He kept on staring at the heart beat monitor. Blake’s heart rhythm seemed peaceful, it calmed him. At the same time it amazed him how a device could actually let people see the rhythm as well. After what felt like hours of watching the line go up and down, his eyes fell shut as well.

It’s only when the sun started to rise, that Gwen got a text from her mom, saying she arrived in Tishomingo. Gwen stared at her three asleep boys and felt bad for having to wake them, especially after all they had been through the last few days. Nevertheless, she started to wake them up one by one. She let Apollo sleep though, as he was laying beside Blake on the bed. His tiny arm thrown around his body as his lips were slightly parted.

Kingston instantly went to sit at the edge of the bed and glared at Blake’s face with sad eyes.

“Just open your eyes, ok?”, Kingston quietly spoke as he reached for Blake’s hand. “I don’t know if you hear me or not, but if you do, just please wake up… You don’t have to right away, like take a bit time to rest and feel better… but soon ok?”

Kingston leaned down and softly placed his lips on top of the cowboy’s cheek.

“You still have to learn me how to play the guitar”, he whispered before letting go of his hand and jumping off of the bed.

Also Zuma leaned into Blake and let his body fall against his, very softly. His arms hugged him while taking in a deep breath, careful not to wake Apollo.

“We have to go to grandma now, but we’ll see each other soon”, he said casually, with full believe that everything will turn out alright as he hopped off the bed. The second he was standing back beside Blake, he turned around to face him one last time. “Also next time I see you, you better be awake”,

That caused Gwen to smile while crouching down in front of her two men.

“You know that I love you, right?”, she told them, to which they instantly nodded. “I promise that you going to LA is just better this way, ok?”, Zuma nodded again, believing his mother at every word. When Gwen traced her eyes to her oldest, she reached her hand up to gently caress over his cheek.

Eventually also Kingston nodded. So Gwen stood back up and gently woke her baby boy. When his eyes flew open, he gave Gwen a soft smile.

“Baby, it’s time to go with Grandma, hah? So you give Blakey a kiss?”

The toddler’s face turned into a pout, before pulling up and placing a slobby kiss on Blake’s cheek. It isn’t until Gwen picked him up in her arms and dragged him away from Blake that the two year old starts crying.

“It’s ok, baby”, she tries, but he doesn’t stop. Instead he kept reaching his tiny arms out towards the cowboy and starts to stump his feet in all directions. With tears in Gwen’s eyes, she held him closer and took them out of the bedroom. And just when she was standing in the hallway, she saw her mom.

And the tears fell down again. RaeLynn flew out of her seat and made her way to Gwen. Carefully she took the angry toddler over, to which Gwen immediately ran into her mom’s arms.

 

Many tears were cried once again, even on times that Gwen thought there were no more left. A few kind words, tight hugs and painful glances had been thrown around the room. Her mom had asked whether she could do anything else to help, but Gwen had shook her head while telling her that taking the boys out of this place was the best she could do.

Her mom had quickly dried Gwen’s tears a couple of times until RaeLynn walked back up to them. Apollo was still making a scene so with a regretful smile Patti immediately reached for the toddler. The boy didn’t calm down though, so everyone knew it’d be better to make this quick.

Gwen quickly crouched down to her boys and gave each a quick kiss.

“I’ll call with updates everyday and I’ll be back soon, ok? Behave”,

Another quick kiss on Apollo’s cheek and then she could see the four of them walk into the elevator. Her mom gave her a short wave and threw her a kiss. Gwen did the same right before the elevator door closed.

 

 

Gwen was just filling a class of water from the water dispenser, when she heard an unfamiliar voice come from behind her.

“Mrs. Stefani?”,

Gwen stop pushing the tap to glance over her shoulder. Two men were standing behind her who both gave her a friendly nod. She lifted the cup of water away from under the dispenser and turned their way. She could see their blue uniforms now with a badge pinned on their shirts.

“Yes, that’s me”, She eventually stumbled out while giving the both men a tiny –yet still miserable-smile.

“We’re from the Oklahoma City Police, my name is officer Williams and this is my colleague, officer Reynolds. We’re told you were a witness of an accident”, The longer one was speaking now. Gwen observed him. He seemed older than his companion, clearly more experienced as the one besides him mostly just smiles and seems helpful and lovely. Gwen noticed how it would probably be the perfect due to play good cop and bad cop.

Gwen nodded.

“Can you explain to us what happened?”, The officer Williams asked her, to which Gwen took a sip of her water.

“It wasn’t an accident”, Both their heads turned to each other for a second, before looking back up at her.

“Excuse me, ma’am?”,

Gwen’s face fell, as she stared into the water. After a second she realised the water was fluttering in the cup. Her hand was shaking again, just by thinking about how this was her fault. If she would’ve just kept Blake out of this…

“Ma’am?”, the good cop was speaking now, with a hint of worry in his voice. Gwen travelled her eyes towards him. “Do you wanna sit down?”,

Without waiting for an answer, he leaded her towards the chair and Gwen sat down. For a couple seconds no one said another word as they let Gwen take a few more sips.

She prepared herself to speak the words out loud. RaeLynn and Josh new the truth as well, but no one had talked about it. It all was too fresh and it hurt enough already.

“Well um”, Gwen started then, feeling like she had to start talking eventually. “My husband”, Gwen took a deep sight in. “My husband hit him…. He hit Blake”, Gwen spoke softly while staring at her shoes.

“Are you sure about this?”, Williams again and waited to see Gwen nodding.

“So you saw the driver?”,

Gwen glanced up and shook her head. “I only saw the car”, she said and she could immediately see the young man reach for a notebook and a pen in his pockets.

“It was a black SUV”, She told them and saw him write the words down. “He probably rented it though because we’re from LA”,

The men closed his notebook again and saw how both of them were giving her deep, thoughtful glares.

“But you didn’t see him?”,

Gwen started to feel anxious and irritated as they made her feel delusional, she had answer that question already. No matter what, she shook her head.

“Why would your husband ride this man over?”,

Gwen swallowed while staring at her water cup again. “Because we ran away”,

“Hey? What’s happening here?”, Adam had just walked out of Blake’s room and started heading their way.

“Officer Williams, my colleague officer Reynolds, we’re here for the accident around Mr. Shelton”, they reached their hands out for Adam to shake which he willingly did.

“Adam Levine, a friend of Blake’s”,

Straight after that he went to sit down next to Gwen. “You ok?”, he asked her clearly noticing her shaking hands. But Gwen nodded.

“Were you a witness as well?”,

Adam shook his head to that. “Would you mind giving Mrs. Stefani some privacy?”,

Adam was confused at first before he nodded. But Gwen put his hand on his knee and shook her head. “It’s ok, he can stay”

“Where were we”, Officer Reynolds said, encouraging Gwen to go on.

“My kids and I, we ran away from home around two weeks ago”, Gwen spoke softly while she could feel Adam’s gaze on her now as well. He didn’t know, but she had to tell him one day eventually. And having him by her side right now was making her feel less anxious, so that’s good.

“Blake helped us with the juridical part and also took us into his home, here in Oklahoma”, Gwen explained some more, to which Adam placed his hand on top of hers and squeezed it.

“So if I get this right, you and your kids ran away along with your lover?”,

Gwen turned her head up in a brisk movement and gave the older man a nasty glare.

“I didn’t ran away with my lover!”, Gwen snapped at him, surprising him with her sudden strength of her voice. In the meantime Reynolds shot him a not so friendly look as well before turning back to Gwen.

“I’m sorry, but you have to tell us what happened”, he spoke with a warm, caring voice. “You have to tell us what made you run”,

Gwen closed her eyes. Adam could feel her hands start to tremble again. She let her head fall down for a couple of seconds, taking deep breaths in and out.

“Blake’s the only one I ever told this to”, Gwen whispered more to herself, then to either one of the officers or Adam. She could feel the officer’s hand land on top of her shoulder then.

“It’s ok, take your time”

Adam was stroking his thumb over her skin, trying to calm her down. And somehow it did. Having his support right now meant a lot. She actually didn’t know Adam that well, but just having someone by her side right now that means a lot to Blake as well seemed comforting.

Gwen finally gather her courage together and pulled her head back up. Her eyes met theirs.

“My husband… he’s—“, she stumbled on her words, making her pause to swallow. “He was abusive”, Gwen spoke and just then out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Adam swallow as well. “—And a cheater”, she added in a whisper, not trusting her voice to go to a higher volume.

“And for a long time I stayed with him, for my kids and because I was scared. But Blake he—he made us feel encouraged, he made us take a risk”, Gwen kept on talking, thinking it’d be better to just get it all of her chest at once. She told them about how Blake and her brought an entire file in to the police with evidence of the abuse, about how she took her kids and only left a simple note and divorce papers. How they had felt save in Oklahoma for quite some time until two days ago they suddenly found the note basically at their front door. The note she had left him. And when she was done rambling, every single person seemed overwhelmed by the story. No one even dared to breath properly.

“Ma’am, is there anyone who might’ve been able to actually see him in front of the wheel? Where there any other witnesses?” Reynolds eventually asked while giving Gwen a look filled with respect.

Gwen shrugged while glancing at Adam for a second.

“RaeLynn and Josh were there as well, they are also friends of Blake, they are here”, Adam jumped in, and Gwen nodded.

“But they were with me at the front door, I don’t think they could’ve seen him”, Gwen said while throwing her eyes down.

“We’ll ask them”, Williams said with a polite smile now all of a sudden.

“Anyone else? Anyone that might’ve had a view on him?”,

Gwen hesitated, but eventually nodded her head, but the officer saw how she had to think twice before answering.

“He clearly is a very big suspect and has a motive, and I believe you”, The young one said while crouching down in front of her. “But it would be so helpful if anyone could actually back up your story”

Gwen threw her eyes down while shaking her head.

“My kids were way ahead, at our car”, Gwen then said. “But I won’t drag them into this, I won’t”

They both nodded their head understandably, as the officer stood back up.

“That’s your decision ma’am, but Blake can’t tell us now and your kids might be able to, and I will not lie, it would be easier if--”

“Easier? I know it would be easier if Blake could just to tell us, ok? Like what do you think, that I don’t know that?”

 

 

It had been a long day and Gwen had seen the sun go down from out of Blake’s room. She knew the officers were only trying to do their jobs the best they could, but you can’t blame her for being cranky about some comments. As the conversation with the policemen kept replaying through her head, she glanced over at Adam, who was asleep at the other side of Blake’s bed.

Gwen decided to try the same, and leaned her head against the back of the single seat. Her eyes closed and she could feel her drift off.

 

The next time she opened her eyes, she could see the sun go up. The day went by with Gwen sitting at his side, reading a book, aloud, in case he could hear her, you never know. She did have to leave him for a few hours to go to the police department and repeat her statement. Adam was being super protective ever since he knew about Gavin, as he didn’t let her out of his sight for a single second. So as soon as she started to put on her coat to leave for the police station, Adam took his coat as well.

“You don’t have to go with me, you know?”

But Adam just shrugged it off and didn’t take no for an answer. Instead he put his coat, went to the police station, repeated her story and before they knew they were back outside. Adam suggested to stop at Blake’s ranch to take a shower and put on some fresh clothes.

So once they were back into the hospital, the day had practically ended. Gwen was sitting at Blake’s bed again, wearing one of his flannel shirts considering all of her stuff was in his car as they were about to leave to LA when the accident happened. Adam obviously didn’t have a key to his car, while to Gwen’s surprise he did have a key to his home. All of them sat in Blake’s room, talking about nothing particular.

 

 

 

It’s the fourth day that Blake was in a coma, nothing extraordinary happened, expect for Luke Bryan’s visit. Gwen had never met the man before, but as she was just casually talking a walk in the hospital, she did recognize him when she saw him standing at the hospital information post.

“Luke”, Gwen cried out then. The country singer turned around and searched for a familiar face. When his eyes met Gwen’s, he doubted for a second whether it was actually her that called for him.

But when he noticed how the woman kept on making her way towards him, he gave her a small smile.

“I’m Gwen”, she said while reaching out her hand towards him. The man seemed confused as he shook his head a bit before shaking her hand.

“Luke”, he answered to which he winced. “You already knew that”, he said then, considering she had called for him earlier. Gwen laughed at that, while giving him a sweet smile. Then the most awkward silence ever followed. “Um”, Luke chuckled. “I’m a bit confused”

Gwen couldn’t help but notice the country accent again and the low voice, which reminded her of Blake.

“Yeah, that’s normal”, Gwen added to which she laughed softly. “I was with Blake when the car hit him”

Luke made a sudden o-shaped mouth while nodding understandingly. Gwen started to walk then towards the elevator again, with Luke by her side.

“I work with Blake on the voice”, Gwen told Luke, trying to get rid of the confusion in his eyes.

“I know, believe me, he told me that much”, Luke said while grinning at her. Gwen smiled shyly as she pressed on the second floor of the elevator.

“So how is he?”, Gwen gave him the update on Blake’s health and how he might lose his speech or a part of his memory if he’d wake up. The elevator door opened again once she was finished with the story and both of them walked into the hallway.

“But you were with him?”, Luke asked a bit suspiciously, to which Gwen nodded. “You hang out with Blake a lot?”,

Gwen smiled while giving him her _‘really?_ ’ kind of eyes.

“What?”, he asked her with a chuckle.

“You can just ask me directly, you know”, Gwen spoke while smiling at him. Luke started laughing.

“But yes, I hang out with him a lot”, Gwen answered with a grin. “One day I’ll explain everything over a beer or whatever, but not now, ok?”,

To that Luke nodded with a sweet, appreciative smile before they enter the room then. Luke met Dorothy’s eyes and Gwen could see her eyes lit up when she saw Luke. They hugged closely and when Luke saw Adam, they hugged as well.

Not many more words were shared as Luke mostly stared at Blake sadly, just like everyone of us had been doing. He also made some more small talk with Adam, but nothing more.

Eventually, Luke Bryan decided to take Dorothy under his wing and take her with him towards the hotel he was sleeping in, for a good night of sleep.

 

 

The fifth day. 

Behati’s arrival. Behati had hugged Adam tightly to her chest, it’s also the first time Gwen saw Adam cry, expect for his rage of anger to the surgeon the other day. The tears kept on falling as Behati dried them.

Gwen was walking in the hallways, giving the couple some privacy, when suddenly her eyes fell on top of a little girl. She must be around Kingston’s age. The girl immediately pulled her attention towards her. It must’ve had something to do with how she did miss her boys, even though she called them almost every hour.

The girl was wearing a scarf around her head and smiled at Gwen brightly. Of course Gwen smiled right back as she felt herself slowing her movements down. She was standing in front of Blake’s room now, but she hesitated to go in.

Instead her eyes found the girl’s again, who was still smiling. Obviously Gwen had seen people stare at her and had people recognize her. But after all this is a hospital and they left her alone. They had their own misery to worry about.

But the way this girl her eyes sparkled, made Gwen’s heart fill with something else but sorrow. So instead of turning in, Gwen kept on walking and only halted when she was standing at the seat of the young girl.

“May I?”, Gwen asked her, to which the green eyed girl nodded. So Gwen sat down right beside her.

“I’m sorry”, she said then, to which Gwen turned her head surprised. “About your friend”, she added, which made Gwen give her a thankful smile.

“I’ve been here for months, so I basically have nothing else to do than observe people”, the young girl said, causing Gwen to laugh shortly.

“You observed me as well?”,

The girl nodded. “Of course, you’re Gwen Stefani”, the girl said then to which Gwen smiled.

“I didn’t know you had friends in the country world”, she said sweetly to which Gwen nodded.

“I do, yes”, Gwen said with a proud smile. “What’s your name?”

“Lily”, how ironic, Gwen thought, that the lily’s keep on following her. Anyhow, Gwen smiled at her friendly.

“Tell me, what’s the worst part about being in the hospital for this long?”, Gwen asked her, to which the girl immediately said:

“The food!”, That made Gwen let out a genuine laugh. “I want to eat Chinese food so badly again”,

Gwen smiled before she noticed a nurse going into Blake’s room, just to check up on him. She was brought back to reality then and her eyes fell.

“Everything will work out”, Lily said then while placing her hand on Gwen’s knee. She gave her a friendly nod before moving up.

“I’m tired though, I need some sleep” , Gwen nodded with a smile as she watched the girl walk towards her room.

 

When sun started to set again, RaeLynn and Josh hugged the other’s goodbye. They were renting a hotel room nearby, being done with the hospital chairs, which everyone immediately understood to be honest. RaeLynn’s hug with Gwen lasted for minutes as she kept on saying that if she wanted to talk later tonight or even in the middle of the night, that she should simply call.

Gwen nodded to that, even though she knew she’d never do that. And with that, it went down to only Gwen, Adam and Behati staying the night.

 

Day number six. 

“I can’t even remember the last thing I said to him”, Adam suddenly said, causing Gwen to pull her head up from on the mattress, giving him a confused, sleepy glance.

“To Blake”, he clarified with a soft voice, not to wake Behati from whom her head was resting against his chest. “For days now, I’ve tried to remember. We spoke on the phone a couple of times but I can’t remember what I said last. I can’t even remember the last time I just told him I loved him or that I’m glad he’s my friend or anything kind in that matter”, he chuckled bitterly while looking Blake’s direction.

Gwen reached her hand out towards Adam’s and squeezed it.

“Blake knows how much you love him”, Gwen told him as if it the most genuine fact out there, to which he softly smiled.

“Does he?”, 

With no doubt in the world, Gwen nodded. “Of course he does. If he didn’t think you’d love him, then why would he have put you, out of all the people, as his emergency call? He trusts you and he loves you. And he know that’s both sides, Adam”

Adam frowned as he saw Gwen’s face fill with pain.

“You ok?”, Gwen nodded. “Just my stomach again”

“You should really have that looked after”, Adam said worriedly as Gwen just shrugged it off, hoping it will go away soon.

 

Expect for Gwen calling her boys up, nothing more eventful happened. Gwen visited Lily, as she had secretly sneaked some Chinese food into the hospital. A bright smile formed on her face as she and Gwen ate together on her bed. The girl kept on rambling on about how much she loved Gwen's music and Gwen found out her favorite genre was country after all. Gwen made a mental note to introduce her to Luke Bryan, the next time he's around. Gwen also found out the girl had long cancer, but they didn't talk about it much. Gwen wanted to be a destraction from her misery. So instead Gwen took her phone and went on snapchat as both of them tried out some of the filters. Their meeting was cut short though as soon a nurse interupted them to do some more researches. 

Josh, RaeLynn, Luke and Dorothy visited and left a few hours later. And as the evening started to fall again, Behati and Adam shared the news that they were gonna stay the night in a hotel as well.

Adam asked Gwen a million of times if she wanted to come along. Adam basically begged her to do so and as she kept on telling him that she will not leave Blake’s side, Adam went over to questions like:

“You really fine with us leaving?”  “We’ll stay” to which Gwen said no. “You want us to stay?”

But nevertheless at the end of the day, she watched the two of them walk out of the room. Their fingers were intertwined as both of them gave her a short wave. Gwen waved back until the door closed again. She couldn’t help but feel jealous that they had each other. Soon her eyes fell on her cowboy, and she crawled on the bed. She pulled her legs under the blankets as well. Her arms hugged tightly around his chest and carefully rested she rested her head on his, yes, beating heart. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw her phone lit up constantly, probably RaeLynn and Adam checking up on her already.

She felt too exhausted though to get up to her phone. So instead she closed her eyes and whispered. “I love you”,

 

The seventh day.

In the early morning, Adam was back at the hotel already, anxious to be by Blake’s side again. He had sneaked out of the hotel room though, leaving Behati sleep some more. When he softly opened the door, he saw Gwen cuddled up to Blake’s side, laying under the bed sheets.

Adam smiled. He was just about to step out of the door when out of the corner of his eyes, he had seen something move. Gwen was still fast asleep, so Adam was slightly confused.

And out of that confusion, he started to take a few steps closer towards the bed. With silent steps he ended up at the side of Blake’s bed. Adam reached to take Blake’s hand in his again and softly shook his head at himself. You’re starting to make things up in your head, Adam thought while he kept on staring at their hands. But then, out of nowhere, he could feel it, a soft squeeze in his hand.

Adam snapped his head towards Blake’s face and Adam literally gasped.

...Blue eyes were staring right at him


	26. twenty-six

A pair of blue eyes were staring right at him.

“Well well”, Adam stumbled out absolutely astonished.

Blake’s eyes were soft but Adam could also notice a touch of pain. Blake managed to cast Adam a brief smile right before he swallowed a few times. His lips separated to try to speak, but no noise followed.

“Do you want some water?”, To that Blake greedily nodded. In Adam’s hand, he already had a cup from the dispenser. So Adam leaned in and gently placed the plastic border at his lips. Only a short amount letting slip through, as Blake swallowed it.

Adam knew that he was kept hydrated through the tubes, but some water to clear his throat might help, he figured, or maybe better; he hoped. As soon as Adam had placed the water down at the nightstand, his eyes caught Blake’s again. Obviously Adam was completely off the map to have Blake being awake all at once. That leaded to Adam just staring at him like a freak, with an amazed smile.

“It might sound weird, but man am I glad to see your shade of blues again”, Adam spoke perplexed, causing Blake’s lips to curl up. He softly cleared his throat.

“I thought I was in heaven until I saw you walk in”, An enormous sight of relief fell from Adam’s shoulders when he heard Blake’s voice. He had barely heard what the cowboy had said, but once he recalled the words, Adam cracked up while shaking his head.

“How long have you been awake?”,

“A couple hours”, Blake whispered before tracing his eyes down at Gwen who still laying on his chest.

“I haven’t woke her up yet”, he told Adam, who gave him frown.

 “What’s stopping you?”,

Blake ‘s hand reached towards the blonde. His fingers gently stroked her hairs behind her ear, before moving his fingers over her scalp.

“She looks tired”, Blake whispered with sadness in his voice. He hates to see her like this.

But with the vibration of his voice coming through his chest, he could suddenly feel Gwen stir.

Still partly sleeping, she could feel a hand massaging her scalp and vaguely she could even tell that there were people talking around her. A content smile appeared on Gwen’s lips until the corner of her lips dropped again.

Her eyes snapped open, to see Adam horizontally in front of her. His lips were moving as his eyes were glued to someone right next to her. When Adam’s eyes were on hers only a second later, the talking stopped and a smile formed.

The hand was still stroking fingers through her hair and Gwen stopped breathing for a second. She recognized that hand like no other. Within a second, Gwen sat straight up on the bed and looked at the cowboy.

His sweet, baby blue eyes were right on hers and Gwen instantly felt dizzy. She had started to lose faith in ever seeing them again. Over the last nights she had had dreams like these, where she’d just walk into his room and he’d be awake. Or that she would’ve just heard his southern accent call out her name, or even an another one where she’d wake up just like she had right now and he’d be already staring…. But right now it all felt so real.

Gwen clumsily let her body roll off of the bed, while taking a few steps backwards. She looked confused and certainly didn’t have any control over her body movements.

“This is like one of those dreams, isn’t it?”, she was completely in disbelief and denial, but then Blake’s smile grew softer. “Adam went to a hotel last night, so this must be a dream”,

When Gwen could see Blake’s eyes start to fill with pain for her, it hit her that it wasn’t.  It hit her that this wasn’t a dream and that her cowboy was right awake, staring at her with pity.

“I’m right here”, his silky voice. She could feel the tears pushing against her eyelid. With a shaking hand, she covered her mouth. He came back to her, to her boys. He fought. And she could feel a tear leave her eye.

“Come over here”, he muttered as he reached his arm out for her. A teardrop ran over his cheek now as well, and that felt like a reality check. Step by step, she approached him. Lightly his hand went around her waist, making her settle on the bed with him.

Just when Gwen felt a wave of happiness fall over her when she realised he could speak, she could just as well feel her body fill with worry about his memory. But right then his country accent brought her back.

“I hate to see you cry, so don’t”, and obviously Gwen ultimately cried even more. The last time those exact words had left his lips was when her heartbeat was racing out of sadness and fear, while right now it was racing with love and luck.

“You remember me”, Gwen spoke throughout her tears.

“How could I ever forget about you?”, Blake whispered sweetly. Another tear rolled down Gwen’s cheek while she hesitantly lifted her fingers up to his stubble. When her fingertips touched his skin, she suddenly could feel her heart beat faster and faster. It was as if she hadn’t realised it was real up until that moment.

“How dare you say goodbye to me like that?”, Gwen cried, as the tears kept on rolling down her  cheeks. Blake instantly felt his heart ache as he reached out to touch her cheek. But she pulled away in complete shock.

“You told me I am your saving Grace and then you just decide to die? Like what’s wrong with you? Who gave you that permission?”, Gwen mumbled as the tears kept pouring, completely upset and overpowered by a million of feelings.

“How could you do this to us?”, Gwen sobbed, and Blake instantly pushed his body up and pulled Gwen’s figure tightly in his arms. Blake leaned his body back against the mattress, pulling a crying Gwen along with him.

“I am so sorry”, He whispered as he felt the tears run down his own cheeks as well. “I am so sorry”, Blake consoled her while placing soft pecks on top of her hair and nuzzling his nose in her neck. Eventually Gwen started to get control over her breathing again and she moved her arms around Blake’s torso. For over a minute they stayed laying like this, until Gwen’s tears started to reduce. With the back of her hand, she dried her cheeks, before glancing back up at him.

“How do you feel?”, Gwen checked how his eyes were, to search for an indication of pain. The anger was all gone now, as if suddenly she was reminded with his condition. “You hurting? We should call for a nurse”, she said while glancing over her shoulder to find Adam.  

But carefully Blake shook his head while turning her head back to meet his, with his finger on her chin.

“What can I do?” Gwen kept on asking worriedly to which Blake’s smile grew wider.

His fingertips lovely touched her smooth skin. “You could kiss me”,

Without any more hesitation, Gwen brushed her lips against his. His lips were soft against hers, until he pushed back a little. The kiss lasted for a small number of seconds, until Gwen pulled away again. When her eyes opened again, she found his still closed, enjoying the moment.

“Thank you for coming back to us”, she whispered against his lips, causing Blake’s eyes to blink open.

“I’m sorry you had to go through this”, Blake’s thumb caressed over her cheek, as Gwen lend into his touch.

“No _I_ am sorry”, Gwen retorted as her eyes started to fill up again. Quietly Blake hushed her while shaking his head cautiously.

“Don’t do that”, he caught her tear. “You weren’t the one behind the wheel, were you?”

Gwen shook her head while she kept her eyes locked on his very soft blue ones. He reached his hand out to take hers in his. He brought it up and placed a kiss on the back of her hand.

“I was the one responsible for putting you in front of that car though”,

Blake frowned, clearly unhappy about _and_ disagreeing with the words she had just spoken. “Don’t ever say that again”, he told her clearly, not open for discussion. “I love you and I would rather die and have people worth dying for than the other way around”

Gwen slowly moved her hands down over his chest, as she tried to swallow her tears away. Suddenly she could feel his hand land on hers and held it against the beating of his heart. Shyly Gwen tilted her head and threw her eyes back up.

“Do you feel this beating?”,

Gwen could see his charming, handsome smile, to which Gwen nodded while curling the corner of her lips up. “It doesn’t only beat for you, now it also beats _because_ of you”,

Gwen got emotional again as she buried her face into his neck. She took a deep breath in as she threw her arms tightly around him

“I missed you”, Gwen whispered in his neck. Blake’s grin grew even bigger while moving his fingers through Gwen’s messy hair again. With gentle caresses he moved his hands over her neck, trying to calm her still raising heartbeat. In the meantime he casted a glance over at Adam, who was leaning with his back against the wall a little further away. The rock singer was just staring at them with a foolish smile.

“How long have I been out?”, Blake asked, causing Adam to lift his back away from the wall and taking the last few steps back towards the bed.

“Today we were just gonna celebrate your first week anniversary here”, Adam told him with a friendly smile. The way he put it, made Blake roll his eyes with a smile.

“That’s quite a relief”, he chuckled then, causing Gwen to move her head up and give him a weird look. Adam did the exact same while chuckling along with Blake’s nonsense.

“Well, you know those movies where one is in a coma and then they have to tell ‘m 20 years passed?”, both their heads nodded. “Dammit am I glad that’s not my life right now”

Adam and Gwen laughed while shaking their heads at his silliness.

“Thank you for coming over here, buddy”, Blake said then while reaching for Adam’s hand. The second their hands touched, Blake squeezed it gratefully. The rock singer immediately nodded at him.

“I love you, man”, Adam said, causing Blake to reach his arm out and pull him into a long, deserving hug. “Don’t ever try to be the hero again, ok?”

To that Blake chuckled while tightening his grip around his friend.

“I love you too”

“Time to get your doctors here though”, Adam said as soon as they let go of each other’s embrace. So Adam left the room to find them.

Blake’s eyes fell on top of Gwen’s again, who was holding onto him for dear life.

“Gwen?”, he stumbled out, to which she instantly shifted her head towards him. She hummed. “Where are the boys?”,

“In LA with my mom”, she saw him nod very softly, but she could see the worry in his eyes. “Don’t worry, there are like millions of bodyguards”,

“I wasn’t worrying about them”, Blake said while pulling her back into his chest. He knew how much pain and energy it must’ve cost her to send them away. Gwen’s lips brushed a kiss against his neck. “don’t worry about me, I’m just happy you’re back”

Then suddenly the door opened and a few doctors walked into the room. A female, blonde one’s smile went huge when she met his eyes.

“Look at you”, She said cheerfully and Blake could sense her genuine care from that exact first moment. “My name is dr. Ellie Robins, I’m a neurosurgeon and I worked a little on your brain”,  she told him while reaching her hand out towards him.

Blake met her halfway and shook it.

“Nice to finally meet you, Mr. Shelton”, she said while giving him a friendly, satisfied nod. She held his gaze for a couple of seconds, obviously genuinely glad to meet him. “How are you feeling?”, She asked eventually while checking his file one last time.

“I have a not so comfortable headache”,

Gwen looked up at him surprised and worried as he hadn’t told her about the headache earlier.

“It’s ok”, Dr. Robin reassured, not only Blake but especially Gwen, as she squeezed Gwen’s shoulder. “it would be weirder if he wouldn’t have one”,

Blake immediately noticed the informal shoulder squeeze, to which he assumed they had met one another quite often over the last days.

“In a few days we’ll take some tests to see if you’re brain is recovering well, but for now we’ll have to only take you for a few more scans, to see how the lobe I operated on is doing”, she said with a cheerful tune, as if she was about to take him to Disneyland instead of to the scanner. But anyhow it worked influential, as Blake smiled as well.

“I’ll tell you what exactly I operated on, on our way over there, you ok with that?”, Blake nodded.

“Sir, you must know that you have quite a group of friends”, she casually said causing Blake to smile brightly  as he travelled his eyes from Adam towards Gwen. “Your bed was never empty, and believe me, I see a lot of people, and that’s not something you should take for granted”

Blake gave Gwen a soft wink, which she returned while biting her lip shyly.

“Gwen, how’s your stomach?”, the doctor asked her as in the meantime she was pushing on some of the buttons, to make Blake’s hospital bed to go up in a slightly more sitting position. Blake barely took notice of the bed going up as he only gave Gwen a worried glance.

“What’s wrong with your stomach?”, He blurred out immediately and Gwen just shook it away.

“Nothing, probably just some bug or whatever”, She told him while moving her thumb over the back of his hand. But when she still saw the worry in his eyes, she softly giggled. “Baby, don’t worry, it’s nothing, I promise”,

And just like that Gwen gave him a hug goodbye –even though he was only going to be gone for 30 minutes max it pained her to leave his side.

Nevertheless after Blake’s lips brushed against hers softly, the doctors started to move his bed and rolled him out of the room.

“See you soon”

Gwen kept her eyes on the bed until she could no longer see it. Eventually she threw her eyes down before moving up to find Adam’s. He was already staring, as he leaned his shoulder against the wall. A huge smirk plastered on his face as he threw his brows up at her.

“You could’ve told me that you were dating my best friend, you know?”,

To that Gwen threw giggled shyly.

“I thought it would be more fun to keep it a surprise”, she told him while walking over towards him. Adam pushed himself away from the wall and threw an arm around Gwen, pulling her into his side.

“I’m happy for you”, he told her while placing a kiss on top of her hair. Gwen her arms went tightly around his chest as well as she held him close for a few seconds.

“I am a little surprised though”,

Gwen pulled out his arms then and gave him a surprised look.

“I knew Blake liked you ever since the whole Grace thing, but you guys actually being together, it’s a good surprise”, Adam told her while giving her a short smile. But he saw her throwing her eyes down.

“I wondered if you knew”, Gwen spoke while giving him a sad smile and walking to sit down the single seat again. Adam followed her and sat down in the other one.

“The Grace story?”, Adam asked and she nodded.

“Well I don’t know much”, he said, while giving her a pitiful smile. “I know the big lines, but I don’t know how everything falls together”

Gwen smiled at him while nodding.

“What I do know is that one day Blake came back to LA with one hell of a story, about how he found a, how he described, the most beautiful girl in the woods, carrying the name ‘Grace’. I know she was hurt and very cold. And the last thing I know is that before she ran off, she had kissed him”, Adam spoke while trying to catch her eyes.

“That pretty much sums it up, yeah”, Gwen chuckled bitterly before meeting his eyes. “I do sound like a jerk”,

Adam chuckled while shaking his head. “No actually, you sounded mysterious and it brought Blake some distraction, which he badly needed back in the day”,

Gwen figured he was talking about the divorce with Miranda, but she didn’t have the time to ask as Adam talked again.

“But then New Years Eve came along and Blake told me that he found out that Grace was a well known, wealthy woman, who I also happened to have idolized since I was seventeen”,

Gwen shook her head amused at the ‘idolized’ part.

“That was kind of a moment I considered that you might’ve been a jerk” , Adam honestly told her, to which Gwen chuckled while nodding her head understandably.

“You must’ve been happy to hear that I was gonna be on the voice then”, Gwen joked.

“Not really”, Adam laughed before finding her eyes again. “But the important part is that I am now. I’m really happy that you didn’t turn out to be a jerk”,

Gwen softly smiled at him, and just when she was about to open her mouth again a knock on the door followed.

Behati’s head sneaked from behind it, facing the both of them.

“Where is Blake?”, She asked while throwing the door open, suddenly a bit panicky.

“He’s awake”, Adam said while jumping out of the seat and running to her. When he reached his wife, he titled her up to hug her tightly. Gwen laughed when Behati let out a shriek of happiness.

And it’s then that Gwen started to reach for her phone and call RaeLynn up, considering she didn’t have Luke’s or Dorothy’s number.

The phone rang over a couple of times until the beeping stopped. The line was death silent for a couple of seconds.

“Gwen?”, RaeLynn’s voice sounded scared, frightened even that this was a _he’s dead_ kinda call.

“Rae, don’t worry”, she immediately reassured the girl as Gwen covered her mouth again with her hand and let out a happy chuckle, as a few more tears ran over her cheeks again.

“He’s awake, Rae”,

 

 

 

Right after that, Gwen called her mom up. It was Kingston that answered. Gwen sucked on her bottom lip right after she told her oldest to find his two brother and put this on speaker.

“Yeah mom, you’re on”, Kingston said.

“Hi mom, we miss you!”, Zuma’s voice which made Gwen grin. “Mommy!”, Apollo.

“You know how you told me you guys had been praying for Blake?”, Gwen could hear nervous humming coming from on the other side of the phone.

“It worked”, Gwen said.

“Is he awake?”, Kingston screamed, which made Gwen pull the phone a little away from her ear with a laugh. “Is he?”, Zuma cried out, not even giving Gwen the time to answer.

“Yes he is, babies!”

“Grandma! Blake is awake!”, she could hear Zuma screaming. “When can we see him?”,

Gwen thought for a second. “Not today, he’s still very tired”, she told them to which a sad silence followed. “But soon, ok? I promise to face time as soon as I can, and I’ll try to get you guys here fast”

 

 

 

 

 

Blake had just been back in his room - no longer with the tubes in, apparently it no longer being necessary - when the people started to run in.

The first one that flew around his neck obviously was Behati. Blake laughed at her enthusiasm while patting his hand a few times on her back as he returned the hug.

“I would’ve been so mad if you had died”, Behati said deadly serious, making all of us start laughing.

The second Behati was off of the bed, Gwen walked back over at her cowboy with a bright smile.

“Hey you”, Blake said with a dimpled, charming grin before hooking an arm around her waist, making her legs touch the edge of the bed. Both of them just locked eyes as they stared at each other like love sick teenagers.

“Awwwwwww”, Adam then interrupted the moment dramatically. “Did you miss your girlfriend already?”,

And so the teasing started.

“Wait girlfriend?”, Behati’s mouth dropped before letting out a huff as she beamed completely. “Really?”, she asked excitedly, causing Gwen to shyly glance away and lean down to bury her face in Blake’s neck. Blake chuckled while bringing his arm up to softly place his hand on the side of her neck.

But before Behati’s curious interrogation could start, the door flew open again.

In the doorway, his mother was standing. Obviously some tears flew over her cheeks the second she saw him. Gwen stepped aside, giving them some space to hug.  Dorothy kept on crying, as Blake’s apologizes kept coming for scaring her so much. The tears were close to falling from his side as well, but he could keep them in.

It’s then that from over his mom’s shoulder, he could see Luke standing as well.

“Hey there buddy”, Luke muttered his way, to which Blake had to swallow while giving him a short nod.

When Dorothy pulled away and turned around to look at Luke, it was his cue to come closer.

Luke calmly sat down at the edge of his bed while pulling the man into a long, soft embrace.

“We thought we lost you there for a second, man”, he mumbled in Blake’s neck, which made Blake pull him a little tighter. “How you feelin’?”

Short conversations were held as basically everyone cried out of happiness, and then RaeLynn hadn’t arrived yet. But when she did, she threw herself in his arms and held him like she’d never let him go. Blake could only threw Josh a short smile, before he could RaeLynn softly sob.

“RaeLynn, baby girl, it’s ok”, Blake spoke while holding her head close to his chest, as he let out an affectionate chuckle.

“I love you”, Blake whispered while holding her close. 

“You almost died, Blake”, she said while staring at him then. “You almost died and I had to even picture me getting married without you being there!”,

Blake hushed her while drying her tears.

“I’m right here, Rae, I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be at your wedding, we’ll eat cake and I’ll do my stupid dance I do to just see you roll your eyes at me, ok?”

RaeLynn nodded her head before landing back down on his chest and hugging him tightly against her.

 

 

 

 

When the night had started to fall, on doctor’s orders all of Blake’s ‘family’ was send away, to give the cowboy some rest. Gwen had knocked on Lily’s door, but when Gwen opened it she found the girl fast asleep. So she reached for a note on the nightstand and started writing.

 

> _Blake woke up today. Thank you for believing when I couldn’t. I’ll forever be grateful… See you tomorrow. Gwen_

She tear her post-it off of the other ones and softly stick it on the wall above the girl’s bed. Gwen crouched down next to the girl and Gwen smiled softly. She had only seen the girl a couple of times, but she felt a connection. She was amazed by the strength only a around nine year old had already. Gwen softly placed her hand on the back of her head and placed a soft kiss right where normally her hairline would be. And after that, Gwen stood back up and silently walked out of the room, to end up sneaking back in Blake’s room.

 

 

It didn’t last long though until she was caught on still being there though.

“Look Ellie, I don’t think you understand”, dr. Robins had just told Gwen that Blake needed his rest tonight and suggested to go along with one of her friends to some hotel. No doubt in Gwen’s mind would ever consider that, so she had shook her head.

“I’ve just got him back, I’m not letting go”, she told her determined. “I’ll sleep on the single seat and stay quiet, I promise ok?”,

The woman let out a sigh before looking over Gwen’s shoulder to meet Blake’s eyes, who stared at her with a knowing glance.

“Baby, maybe it’s a good idea to go to a hotel for tonight”, When Gwen turned her body around towards his, she gave him an angry glance.

“I want you to start putting yourself first for a second”, he explained to her, which made Gwen’s anger fade off as she simply stared at the lovely man.

She shifted her head back towards the doctor again and gave her a smile.

“Ellie, listen”, she said while scratching her neck. “I respect you and everything you did for my cowboy a lot, you know that, but I will not leave this hospital before he does, the sooner you realise the better”

That caused Blake to chuckled while shaking his head in disbelief. For a second there, he had thought they would’ve been able to change her mind.

Dr. Robins as well had noticed her determination, as she eventually nodded. “He might still be in here for a couple of weeks”, she said, to which Gwen shrugged.

“I don’t care”

Ellie let out a sight before shaking her head. “Well lemme see what I can do”, she said then before walking out.

“I didn’t know you could be so stubborn”, Blake teased her, causing Gwen to squint her eyes at him. Within a few steps, she was sitting down next to him again.

“Well get used to it”, she said then before reaching her hand towards his neck, and took his lips with hers. His tongue slowly pushed against her lips, before she opened them and let his tongue softly slip in. Gwen’s arm hooked tighter around his neck as she kissed him deeper as well. Both of them smiled in the kiss, as she could feel Blake’s hands softly move over her back.

Just on time they pulled back to hear a knock on the door again. They called to come in, to see a nurse pushing another, empty bed inside the room.

“Dr. Robins orders”, the young woman said.

 

 

 

 

 

It had been quite in the room for over 30 minutes, but yet Gwen had her eyes constantly fixed on Blake in the other bed. She saw his chest going up and down and it reassured her to see his breathing. At the same time she was scared to close her eyes again and to wake up to this being a dream.

So Gwen couldn’t close her eyes, as she just laid on her side, staring at him when suddenly his head turned around. To her surprise his eyes were still open and Gwen gave him a short smile.

Blake returned it. “Can’t you sleep?”,

Gwen shook her head. “You?”, he did the same.

It’s then that Gwen jumped out of her bed and came to stand in between both of their beds. Blake gave her a curious look before she started to lean down and pull at the nightstand.

“Hey, hey what you think you are doing?”, Blake chuckled amused.

“This nightstand is all in our business”, Gwen murmured causing Blake to start laughing.

“Darling, stop, you’re gonna hurt your back”, he said while tiredly reaching out for her. “Come over here”

Gwen shook her head. “It has been a long day for you and you need sleep”,

Blake pouted at her, knowing that his pout was her soft spot along with his dimples.

“I can’t sleep without you next to me”, he told her to which Gwen wisely spoke:

“My bed is right there, next to yours”,

Blake rolled his eyes while reaching his arm as far as he could and hook around her, pulling her to him anyway.

“I promise I’ll rest, but come in bed with me”, Blake begged her while putting a pouting lip again. Gwen stared at him for a couple of seconds, tilting her head so that the side of her cheek came to rest on her shoulder. She obviously was considering it while biting her lip, until she eventually curled the corner of her lips up.

“Fine”, Gwen said while shifting the blankets up and move her body under it. She nestled on his chest and the second her feet softly moved against his bare legs, he let out a laugh.

“It’s literally a sauna in here, and yet your feet are still cold”,

Gwen laughed along while moving her head to look at him. He flashed her his dimples and Gwen’s smile and eyes softened.

“I love you so, so much” Gwen told him, causing Blake to flash her his dimples extra long. “Look at you being all handsome”, she poked her finger gently in his dimples.

That made Blake chuckle softly. “Up until a few hours ago I had tubes in my nose and I still have a bandage around my head that makes me look like an Easter egg”

That caused Gwen to throw her head back laughing, before shaking her head at him.

“Yet you’re still the most beautiful man on earth”, she told him while nuzzling her nose with his. “With those dimples that make my heart beat faster, those ocean blue eyes that take my breath away and that scruff that almost makes me giggle every time our lips meet… and God the way you’re squinting your eyes right now and how they are looking _at me_ so very softly, that makes me feel like the luckiest girl in the world. So yes, this might not be your finest moment”, Gwen giggled while very gently stroking her hand over the bandage around his head.  “but dammit, you’re still so perfect”

“I love you, Gwennie Grace”, his lips met hers, but she pulled away quite fast.

“You promised me to rest”, she winked at him, causing Blake’s eyes to sparkle.

“One more kiss”, He said adorably, to which Gwen stretched her body out to place her lips on top of his with an enormous smile.

 

 

 

The next time Blake opened his eyes, it was to find Gwen jumping out of his arm and running towards the toilet.

Blake immediately blinked his eyes open and tried his hardest to push his body to sit up.

“Gwen?” and then he could hear her hurling. He tried to move and get up from the bed, to get to her, but he couldn’t. Tilting his head slightly up was hurting too much already, let along actually standing on his feet and walking.

So instead he stayed put and looked at the bathroom door.

Gwen was sitting at the toilet, right after she had flushed it and rubber her fingers over her forehead.

“Sweetie?”,

“I’m fine, I’ll be there in a second”, Gwen told Blake as she pushed herself up from the floor then. She met her own reflection in the mirror then and it’s only then that it hit her. She hadn’t even had the time to think about it in the last few days. All her brain had been obsessed with was Blake’s coma and all the misery. But right now, when she stared into her own eyes, her mouth dropped. _Morning sickness_.

“Gwen, you ok in there?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I almost peed my pants when I saw people freaking out about whether I was actually going to let Blake die for real... as if I could possibly do that? You guys know I'm too weak for that, haha!  
> Anyways, let me know if you liked this chapter, for as long as you still can, because the ending is seriously near now. Bye xoxo


	27. twenty-seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi

“Are you ok in there?”

Gwen her mouth was still dropped to the floor as she stared at her own reflection. Hesitantly she brought her hand up towards her stomach. Could that be it? Was this really morning sickness? Sure she been tired all the time lately, but then again, she hadn’t slept much these days. Sure she had to go pee a lot, but that’s not a new thing either… Just when Gwen was about to do  a quick math, she heard Blake’s voice again.

“Gwen?”,

She let her hand fall back beside her body and took the few first steps into the room, she barely realised she that her legs had been moving, as she was genuinely surprised to see Blake’s worried blues stare at her.

“I’m fine”, She smiled at him as she tried to hide her confusion.

“sweetheart, you have to start taking care of yourself”, Blake spoke worriedly while reaching his arms out towards her. She approached him and allowed her arms to land around his neck. As he softly placed a tiny kiss on her collarbone, Gwen pulled his head against her chest.

“It’s probably the food here, my body has always been super sensitive about it”,

Blake’s head turned up and found her eyes. “You’ll have to go buy you some properdiner ok? Promise me”,

His affection and tenderness hit Gwen hard. A heartfelt smile came to her lips, while cupping both of his cheeks.

“I promise”, she met him for a long, caring kiss as Gwen pressed her body close against his. She could practically feel his heart beat against her chest, which made the corner of her lips go up. The kiss ended with Gwen faintly sucking on his bottom lip. Her nose nuzzled against his before pecking him once more. “How about you sleep some more while I go find something to eat”,

With that Blake seemed to agree, as he smiled contently and carefully allowed his body to land back down on the mattress.

“Something decent”, he told her, while raising up his index finger at her.

“Yeah, yeah, I see you soon”, she leaned in one more time, not being able to resist his adorableness and gave him a quick wink right before walking out of the door. As soon as she closed the door behind her, she let out a huge breathe. She started pacing around in the waiting room, as a million thoughts raced through her head.

It’s been around two weeks since she and Blake had sex the first time, without protection, because who would even think there’d be a chance at 46? Gwen kept on wandering through the room when she did the math for real now. And yes, she was over five days late already. Gwen stared up at the ceiling, while her fingers slowly brushed through her blond hairs.

Maybe it was the menopause? Like maybe her body was basically just telling her that that’s it, that her fertility was over for good now… or maybe it was quite the opposite.

So before Gwen could stop herself, she was walking through the hallways of the hospital, searching for a certain someone. The second she found her, Gwen walked over towards her and only halted as she was standing right in front of her. The woman looked up and was surprised by her sudden presence as she jumped a tiny step backwards.

“How is Mr. Shelton today?”, Dr. Robins smiled at Gwen, as in the meantime she was filing something in on a file.

“I need your help”, Gwen blurred out, to which the woman gazed up.

“Sure, make it short though, I need to go for my patients rounds soon”, She said with a shining smile, as always.

“So let’s say, that a friend of mine is 46 years old…” Gwen started, to which Ellie put the file down and gave her a weird look.

“Are you 46 already?”, The woman seemed genuinely surprised. Gwen felt annoyed as she didn’t play ‘the friend’ game along.

“My friend is”, Gwen said, to which Ellie nodded, while squinting her eyes in disbelief.

“Right”, she said, clearly not believing it but playing along anyway.

“So let’s imagine that her boyfriend just had a terrible accident”, Gwen said. “Hypothetically”, she added, causing Ellie to nod, holding back a smile. “He woke up not too long ago, and I was wondering, how much can that guy take?”

Ellie frowned while leaning her arm down against the counter of the information desk.

“Does your friend wants to have sex with her boyfriend already?”, She asked then, causing Gwen to frown at first, before her eyebrows went up and then she let out a tiny huff. “Because that might be a little too soon… we also really prefer not to in the hospital beds”

With that Gwen laughed for real now, while she shook her head. “That’s not it”,

“Oh”, Ellie said genuinely surprised, as she was convinced that the story was going that direction.

“No ok fine”, Gwen said then while clearing her throat. “hypothetically, if I would drop quite a bomb on Blake, he wouldn’t die right? Like his heart wouldn’t just stop?”

Ellie raised her eyebrows then while observing Gwen’s body language. 

“Depends on what kind of bomb”, she said, quite interested. “Like his heart is fine, I can tell you that. He doesn’t have any condition or whatever, his heart stopped because of the severeness of his injuries… Gwen what is this about?”,

The rock star bit her lip nervously as she fizzled with her hands.

“Nothing, hypothetically, remember?”, A nervous smile was put on display now, but it wasn’t convincing enough as suddenly the doctor frowned.

“What was important about your age, though?”,

“What do you mean?”, Gwen was the confused one now.

“Well you started with saying you’re, or well your friend’s  46, like what’s the connecti—“, Then Ellie’s eyes grew wider. “Oh my god”, she brought out then to which Gwen softly smiled while she scrunched her nose up.

“Are you preg-“

“I don’t know. I’m 46”, Gwen cut her off, full distress and doubt.

“It’s possible… right, I mean, is it?”, Ellie asked her a bit awkwardly, to which Gwen nodded.

 “You should tell him”, Gwen let out an uneasy sigh while rubbing her fingers over her forehead.

“Any idea of how long it is now?”

“Can’t be longer than two weeks”

“You should at least talk about it with a friend or something”

“I’m talking with you”, Gwen duh’ed, while she started to impatiently pace around again.

“Yeah, but I’m still Blake’s doctor and I’m not supposed to become friends with my patients when I’m still treating them”, Ellie told her, partly whispering, as she took Gwen by the arm and moved them into a more private area.

“But you don’t get it! I don’t have any friends!”, Gwen grew a  big pout, to which Ellie rolled her eyes.

“I object”, she said to which Gwen’s pout grew even wider as she even let out a slight grunt. “I’ve seen many over the last days”

“They are closer to Blake, like I can’t share this with one of Blake’s best friends before he knows, like that’s not fair”

Gwen explained and Ellie nodded in understanding. She ended up putting her hands on Gwen’s upper arms and squeezed it.

“I need to do my rounds now, but please calm down and talk to someone”, she said while stroking her thumbs over Gwen’s shoulders. “I can only talk to you about personal stuff when Blake’s out of here… I am so sorry”,

Gwen gave her a sweet smile while nodding her head.

“Look, at your age the chances of getting pregnant are smaller, and the risks are bigger. But even if you are, it’s still a miracle, right?”

She kept staring at Gwen until she nodded. “Good, and keep that in mind. This is not something bad”, With that she stroke her hands over Gwen’s arms one more time, and Gwen gave her a thankful nod.

“I’ll talk with someone”

 

…And not much later, after only a short stop at the store for some food –and yes also a pregnancy test- Gwen found herself sitting crossed legged with Lily on her bed.

“Are you gonna keep on bringing me food from now on?”, the young girl asked her while placing a fork filled with fruit salad in her mouth. Gwen chuckled, as she nodded her head excitedly.

“I found your note”, The green-eyed girl said as soon as she had swallowed the fruit. “How is he?”

Gwen returned the girl’s smile. “Good, he needs a lot of sleep. How are you?”,

Lily shrugged while throwing her eyes down. Gwen instantly widened her eyes as she saw the worry running through the nine year old her body.

“You ok?”, Gwen’s hand landed on her knee, ending up to Ellie shaking her head.

“I’ll be probably need another round of chemo, the last one only made it a tiny bit smaller”

Gwen her eyes fell then as well. “I’m so sorry”,

She shrugged again, happier already. “It’s fine. I just wished I could see my brown hairs one day again”

“You will, you’ll just have to wait a little longer”, Gwen tried to cheer her up, but even though the girl gave Gwen a friendly and thankful smile in return, Gwen didn’t miss the disbelief in her eyes. She had seen how the girl was taking peace with the fact that she has cancer, that she was convinced she wouldn’t make it to see her brown hair ever again. And it broke Gwen’s heart, because who knows she might be right.

“Aren’t you hungry?”, It was Lily’s time to be concerned now. Her tiny head nodded towards the bowl of fruit salad in Gwen’s hand that  was still completely full.

Gwen her eyes travelled from Lily’s down towards her fruit and she could still feel her stomach twist by just looking at it. She held her nose up before shortly shaking her head.

“Not really”, She poked her fork through the pieces of fruit. When the green eyes were staring at her with a frown, Gwen instantly formed a tiny smile on her lips.

“I um—My stomach is bothering me”, Gwen explained.

“Still?”, And Gwen nodded. “There are a lot of doctors here, you can ask one to check on it”

Gwen pulled the bowl of fruit salad out of her lap and placed it at the nightstand. After that her attention focused on Lily again.

“Can I tell you something?”

Without any sign of hesitation, Lily bobbed her head.

“I think I might already know what’s causing the nausea”,

Lily was staring at Gwen with big eyes, which almost made her giggle. Almost.

“What do you think is wrong with you?”

Gwen shook her head. “Nothing”,

Obviously that made her frown only more. Gwen placed her arm around the girl’s shoulder and slightly pulled her to her chest.

“I’m not sure yet, ok?”, The girl nodded, while she patiently waited for Gwen to go on. “I think I might be pregnant”

Instantly her eyebrows flew up while her mouth dropped the first second. Only a second later, she practically jumped out of Gwen’s arms, to get a better look at her.

“You think so?”, The girl was super excited by the news as her eyes started to sparkle and her mouth was fully taken over by a huge smile. Gwen took immediately her excitement over as she nodded her head.

“Have you told Blake?” And that made Gwen from nodding her head to dramatically shaking it.

“You should! You should!”, the girl cried out cheerfully which only made Gwen’s grin go wider.

“Should I?”, Gwen was still pretty doubtful, but deep down she obviously knew she had to as soon as possible.

“Yes! What are you waiting for?”, Her voice sounded happy as she jumped up and down on the bed. “Go tell him! Go!”,

To that Gwen stood up determinedly as she nodded at the girl.

“You’re right, I should”, That made her grin from ear to ear, before reaching Gwen’s bowl of fruit salad over to her, making sure she would eat it. Gwen took it gratefully, before leaning in and placing a kiss on the girl’s forehead.

“What would I do without you?” Both of them threw each other one last smile, before Gwen waved and walked out of the door.

 

 

 

Gwen was wiping with the back of her hand over Blake’s cheeks, that were no longer stubbly lately, but they were becoming a full on beard by now. A smile came to Gwen’s lips as she realised she hadn’t seen him with this kind of facial hair, and she didn’t truly dislike it. It had been for minutes straight that Gwen just sat there, on the edge of his mattress, while stroking over his cheeks. She could do this for hours, just staring at this beautiful, peaceful man. But then out of nowhere, she could suddenly see the corners of his lips slightly move up.

“Have you found something good to eat?”, His country accent sounded weak and Gwen knew he probably had zero energy these days. As the doctors had said, he needs a lot of rest.

“Yeah, fruit salad”, Gwen whispered while hovering above him and placing a lingering kiss on cheek.

“Yummy”, He mumbled while making his dimples pop up. His eyes didn’t open yet though, as he kept them closed.

“I bought you some as well, I’ll feed you as soon as you wake up, but now, you’re gonna sleep some more”, Gwen spoke quietly, to which Blake nodded.

“You wanna lay with me?”, Blindly he reached his arm out towards her, landing on her hip. His thumb found his way under her shirt (or well actually Blake’s shirt that she was still borrowing) and stroked over her silky skin.

“Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable for you?”

Gwen saw a small frown appear as he said: “You on my chest is the farthest away from uncomfortable”

That made Gwen giggle as she allowed her body to gently lay beside him, throwing one of her arms over his chest.

“I love you”, and with those words Blake was out cold, before she even had the chance to say it back. For over one more hour, the cowboy stayed asleep, while Gwen was laying in his arm, watching him breathing and hearing the beating of his heart. It amazed her once again how he was actually doing those two previous things again. How at one point, for minutes, his heart had stopped and his breathing had turned cold.

Gwen couldn’t help but softly stroke her hand over his hospital dress, over his chest. It stopped as her fingers could feel the beat of his heart.

“Beating right for ya”,

Gwen glanced up to see his blue eyes right on her, and she giggled.

“You’re corny”,

“But you love it”, He said while giving her a small wink.

“How are you feeling?”, Blake shrugged nonchalantly with a content smile.

“Loved”, that made Gwen roll her eyes at him amused, while giving him a small slap on the chest, not too hard though.

“No seriously, you tired? A headache?”

“Both relatively okay”, Blake said while his hand sneaked under her shirt again. “Can you come a bit closer?”,

Gwen frowned while tilting her head off his chest. “What?”

“Come a bit closer”, he said, which made her smile, while moving in a little closer.

“A little more”, He added, to which Gwen followed his orders, causing her nose to be only a few inches away from his.

“Perfect”, and he lifted his head up from the pillow and made his lips take hers. Gwen giggled within the kiss, as she placed her hand on the back of his head, keeping his head right where it was as she passionately kissed him back. Just when Gwen had slipped her tongue inside, the door flew open.

Instantly Gwen pulled her lips away from his to glance over her shoulder.

“Mr. Blake Shelton?”, Officer William walked in, which made Gwen throw her legs off of the bed, to face the man.

Soon the blonde doctor ran after him with an angry face.

“I told him to not get in here! I thought I had been clear, my patient needs rest”, she over pronunciatied as the steam almost came out of her ears.

“Ma’am—“,

“It’s still Dr. Robins for you”, she told him with burning eyes.

“Dr. Robins”, he restarted, with a bitter chuckle. “We’re leading an investigation on an attempt of homicide, this can’t wait over some sleep… by the way, if this is what sleep looks like”, he gestured towards Gwen and Blake. “Then I guess answering some questions won’t be impossible either”

Gwen noticed how Ellie’s blue eyes turned darker and darker with pure anger and frustration as the officer clearly used his power over her.

“Doctor, it’s fine”, Blake said then, as he reached his arm out to press the button to make his bed lift up slightly. Ellie stayed put until she found Blake’s eyes.

“You sure? Otherwise I’ll seriously call the security for _him_ ”,  She spit out, full on annoyed by Williams, clearly disgusting him.

“I’m sure. If I can make out with my girl, I probably will be able to answer his question”, Blake nodded at her. “Thank you, though” to which Ellie smiled before walking back out the room. Not without throwing the man in uniform another nasty glance.

As soon as the door closed behind her, the man walked up to the both of them and shook their hands.

“Good to see you again, Mrs. Stefani”, 

Gwen thought: _I would love to say the same about you, but not really. Where’s Reynolds, I liked him much better._

Instead as always, Gwen stayed polite and just decided on a friendly smile.

“Mr. Shelton, how are you feeling?”

“I’ve been better”

Williams nodded before giving him a pitiful smile.

“This won’t be long”, He reassured the cowboy immediately before taking out his notebook and a pen.

“How much do you remember about the accident?”,

“Enough”, Blake simply said as his hand found a place on the small of Gwen’s back. “I remember everything, until the very last second, on which my sight started to get blurry and apparently my heart stopped. I must say, I don’t recommend to try it”,

To Gwen’s surprise, the officer let out a small chuckle with Blake’s joke.

“I know this is a tough and direct question to remember, but did you see who was behind the wheel?”

Blake cleared his voice while unlocking with William’s eyes to cast a glance outside the window. His arm then hooked around Gwen’s hip, causing his hand to land on her stomach. Gwen was reminded by how their might be growing a little Blakey in there right now. So no matter what the seriousness of the conversation might’ve been, she was suddenly in another place.

“I do”, He sighed then while bringing his eyes back up at the officer. “Gavin Rossdale”

Blake could see him scrabble something down before his eyes travelled back up.

“I know this might sound as an unnecessary question, but it’s protocol, ok?”, Blake nodded softly as he felt Gwen her hand land on his and intertwine their fingers, as their hands laid on her lap.

“Are you sure? Think about it really good: did you really see him?”,

Blake closed his eyes for a second while letting the back of his head rest against the bed. He thought about it, as the officer told him to. He thought about it real hard, until flashes shot right through his head again.

Black SUV. Sound of heavy engine. At first the windshield was a bit blurry and Blake couldn’t place who was in the driver’s seat. He tried to focus real hard, trying to see right through it. And the blur started to fade, one by one, things started to get clearer. And yes there he was, typical black shirt, brown hairs combed to the back, green-brown-ish eyes filled with anger and maybe even pain, and a deadly, stern face.

“I’m sure”,

 

 

Almost the same second that the officer walked back out of the room, Blake’s mom walked in. She followed the man in uniforms movements until he was out of her sight.

“What was that about?”, she asked while in the meantime smiling when her son’s eyes met hers. Blake shrugged it off, and instead reached an arm out towards his mom to give her a hug, which she didn’t hesitate to do.

When their embrace ended, Dot turned around and faced Gwen and they threw their arms around each other as well with friendly smiles on their lips.

“I see you two have met, I’m sorry, mama that I didn’t get to introduce you to my girl”, Blake said as soon as they separated, yet Dot kept one of her arms around Gwen’s back.

Gwen beamed at him with lovely eyes, as like usual, her cheeks turned a soft shade of pink by the mention of _his girl_ Even more when she saw Dot turn her head to face Gwen, with an enormous smile.

“So Gwen, this is my beautiful momma”, he said which made Dot smile at him brightly. “And momma, this is Gwennie Grace, the love of my life”

It isn’t a surprise that Gwen instantly started to get emotional, but luckily Gwen noticed that she wasn’t the only one. Also Dot was having a tough time keeping it dry.

“What did I say wrong? Like why are yall crying?”, Blake asked with a chuckle, but also with a tiny hint of worry.

“Because we love you so much”, Gwen said while reaching her hand out to take his. Blake let out an adorable laugh.

“Well I love you too, don’t cry because of that”, Gwen giggled while sitting down on the edge of Blake’s bed. Dot on the other hand took a few steps backwards, just smiling at the couple’s gentle interaction. Gwen’s hand traced over his beard and she shook her head amused. Her eyes were filled with disbelief as she unconsciously bit her lip.

“You’re handsome without even trying”

 

 

 

 

 

“Baby, you should sleep”,  

“I’m telling you, I’m not that tired right now”, Blake placed a kiss on the back of her head as she was laying with her back against his chest. His mom had left a few minutes earlier, and they had gotten a text from Adam that they’d be coming over after 5. Also RaeLynn and Josh had planned a day out to visit Tishomingo and a bit further in Oklahoma, which meant they wouldn’t be here soon either. So for now on, it was just the two of them.

“Gwen?”, she hummed as her eyes stayed focused on the television screen. “Can we maybe- umm”

His hesitation immediately made her gaze move away from the screen to find his. She immediately reached for the remote and turned off the volume.

“Can we do what?”, she asked him while throwing him a sweet, caring smile. Blake returned it as he wiped a strand of hair behind her ear.

“I was just wondering how your boys are”, he told her, with a sweet but somber smile. Obviously Gwen focused on the somber part and she smiled then.

 “You wanna facetime them?”

“Yes”, Without any hesitation, Blake had answered. Gwen giggled while moving closer and pecking his lips.

“You can just ask me that, you know right?”

Blake nodded with an adorable, shy chuckle.

“I know, I just—I didn’t wanna force myself on them or something”

Gwen rolled her eyes at that while shaking her head.

“Babe”, Gwen just said, while giving him a short glance.

Blake chuckled again as he looked right back at her. “I know, it’s a silly thought”,

“Yes it is”, Gwen said while pulling out her phone. “You’d never force yourself on us and by the way”, her fingers stroked over his chest. “It’s ok to miss them, I miss them too”,  

Blake’s dimples popped up while placing a kiss on Gwen’s cheek.

She giggled. “We really need to trim your beard”,

Blake threw his head back to laugh, before nuzzling his nose in her neck, causing her to cry out in laughter. He ended it by placing a gentle kiss on her shoulder.

The beeping of the face time call started then, to which Blake pulled Gwen as close to his chest as possible.

After a few seconds, the call went through and the beeping stopped. It took a while before the connection was made, but as soon as Kingston’s head appeared on the screen, both adults smiled uncontrollably.

“Hi sweet boy”,

“Mom!”, Kingston smiled brightly as she saw him move up on the stairs, probably looking to find Zuma.  So Gwen waited for a few seconds until she heard her blonde boy’s voice as well.

“Is that mom?”,

Kingston bobbed his head up. He let his body fall down on the bed right next to his brother then. Zuma was on the screen now as well as he waved enthusiastically.

“Pollo is napping”, Gwen nodded to that, as she had expected it, with a smile.

“Guess who I am with”, she said then. Both of them thought for a second, before turning their heads to look at each other hopefully. And it’s by that adorable gesture that Blake let out his typical country chuckle.

“BLAKE!”, they screamed simultaneously, to which the cowboy dimples grew out.

Gwen turned the screen towards Blake and the second her boys could see him on the screen, they started rambling and asking questions about how he was. Gwen gave the phone to Blake before placing a kiss on his beard.

“I’ll go pee”, She threw him a small wink, and Blake couldn’t help but check her out as she walked towards the bathroom. As soon as she disappeared behind the door, he looked back up at the phone and started to answer all kinds of questions the boys had. It went from questions about how he is doing, to them laughing with his beard and the bandage round his head. Blake had joked that the bandage would be the new fashion trend this summer, to which the boys couldn’t stop laughing.

It wasn’t until Gwen opened the door of the bedroom again that she saw Blake grinning at the phone with loving eyes. Gwen leaned her body against the doorframe as she watched her cowboy.

_“Hey sleepy boy, look who’s calling”,_ Gwen recognized her mom’s voice now, followed by her dad’s belly laugh, that caught Gwen’s attention as well.

Blake chuckled, as some ruffling noises followed.

_“Blakey!”_ , Gwen bit her lip as she heard Apollo’s tired but cheerful voice.

“Hey there buddy, I like your PJ’s”, Blake said with his dimples on full display.

_“We bought them yesterday, because somehow he suddenly seems obsessed with cowboy’s”,_ Gwen’s mom again, to which Blake smiled shyly, but damn proudly.

“I miss you, buddy”, And Blake’s eyes filled slightly then and Gwen unconsciously brought her hand up towards her stomach… because dammit he would be such a great dad…  and then suddenly he burst out in laughter, along with everyone on the phone.

“Look at that pout”, Blake said, talking about Pollo, Gwen guessed. “He definitely got that from his mommy”

“ _I know, right?”,_ Dennis said then, to which Gwen giggled as well. “Hey!”, she screamed to which Blake’s eyes travelled to find his woman ear dropping.

“Speaking of”, Blake said then to the people on the phone, while a second later turning it around, to show them Gwen, leaning against the doorframe.

_“My sweet girl”,_

“Hey mom, dad”, Gwen said while closing the distance between Blake and her.  She settled down against his chest again then, as Blake dropped the phone in Gwen’s hands.

“Is it ok if I call you back a little later today?”, Before even giving them a proper chance to answer, Gwen cut them off.

“Ok, good, see you then”,

“It was nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Stefani”, Blake quickly got in, as Patti shook her head.

“I told you, it’s Patti”, she said with a smile, to which Blake’s dimples popped up. “But very likewise”

“Ok, bye mom”, And Gwen ended the call abruptly, to which Blake gave her a confused look.

“Everything ok?”, he chuckled while moving his hand up to stroke his fingers through her hair.

“Yeah fine”,

“So how crazy is it that I met your parents over facetime and also, Apollo was wearing PJ’s with cowboys on it?”

Blake chuckled proudly as Gwen beamed at him by seeing him so happy over that.

“I would want PJ’s with your head on it as well”, she said then, which made Blake let out a full on belly laugh.

“Be careful or that’s what you’ll be getting for your birthday”,

Gwen smiled back at him, but then suddenly her corners dropped. Blake frowned while stroking his thumb over her neck.

“I have to tell you something”, Gwen blurred out then.

Her eyes found his blue ones, who were filling with worry as he pulled his arms around her hips.

“Okay”, he spoke softly.

“It’s about my stomach”, she said while she didn’t really know how to feel. She felt excited, nervous but also scared… she couldn’t imagine a pregnancy going right at her age…

“Are you sick?” Blake immediately went to sit straight up, with wide opened eyes, to which Gwen immediately shook her head.

“No”, she answered while bringing her hand up to stroke over his beard to calm him. “No, I’m not sick”

Blake let out a relieved sigh, as he still gave her a confounded look.

Gwen let out a nervous chuckle as she trailed her hand up to take a hold of his hand.

“I know we already have had one hell of a story for people that are only officially dating for two weeks”,  Gwen smiled softly, to which the cowboy let out a quite chuckle.

“You don’t have to tell me”, Blake replied, to which Gwen grinned at him for a few seconds, getting completely lost in his eyes. Shyly she looked away from him then, stroking her thumb over his skin. She found his eyes again.

“What if I would tell you that our story could easily turn even crazier?”, she said with a nervous smile, to which Blake tilted his head, still not completely following.

Gwen then lifted his hand up slightly and brought it up to land on her stomach.

“I’m not sure yet, but I’ve only felt nauseous in the mornings and I’m five days late—“,

She could see how the realisation of what she was trying to tell him hit him. His eyes fell on his hand resting on her stomach, with her hand covering his. His mouth flew open as his eyebrows flew up in the air.

“Wait—wait”, Blake stumbled out, completely overwhelmed before meeting her eyes again. “You think you—You think _we_ are pregnant?”

Gwen sucked on her bottom lip while meeting his surprised, teary eyes, and she nodded.

“Oh my god”, Blake raised his hand to cover his mouth in full amazement as he just stared at her.

“I bought a test”, Gwen her voice shook and Blake immediately travelled his hand away from her stomach to throw his arm around her back, pulling her closer. He moved it over her shirt while giving her a warm smile.

“Ok”, he said then. “Let’s find out”,

Gwen returned his smile before nodding. She was just about to jump off of the bed, when Blake stopped her.

“Hey”, he said with a gentle voice. “Don’t be so tensed around me”,

A huge sight that she didn’t know she was holding, left her lips. “I love you”, he said to which Gwen’s eyes sparkled again. Gwen leaned down and placed her lips against his.

“And I love you”

She walked up to her purse then and took the test out of it.

“How does it work? Like do I need to do something to help?”,

“Babe, I don’t think if you’d pee on the stick that it would tell us something more”, she said while glancing over her shoulder.

Blake let out a soft, nervous chuckle.

“Right”, he bit his lip while looking at the blond, gorgeous woman.

“I’ll be right back”,

And just like she had told him, there she was only a minute later, with not only one but three sticks in her hand, just to be sure.

“We have to wait a few minutes”, she said while walking over to the bed. Blake nodded while reaching his hand out to take hers.

“Do you want another one?”,

Gwen turned her head to make her eyes meet his. She sat down in front of Blake, crossed legged, as she faced him.

“I always wanted four kids, like I grew up in a family of four as well”, she told him with a small smile.

“What about now, you’d still want four?”, She could tell he was somewhat nervous about her answer as he stared at their hands, clearly avoiding her eyes.

“I’d never thought it would be an option, you know?”, Gwen squeezed his hand to which he nodded with the sweetest, most understanding smile out there. “But with you by side? Yes” 

Blake’s eyes sparkled as he swallowed softly.

“What about you?”, Gwen knew his answer already, but she had to hear him say it.

“I already told you I always wanted kids, but I never found a woman I wanted them with, until I met you”, Blake smiled while lifting their hands up to place a kiss on hers.  Gwen her eyes sparkled for this man, but even though they never lost the sparkle, her corners dropped.

“What if I’m wrong?”

Blake smile didn’t even fade a little bit.

“Then I’d still be the happiest man alive. You, your boys, it’s already more than I could’ve ever dreamed”

Gwen pushed herself up and threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly for a couple of seconds. She let out a relieved breathe, as she forgot about how he always seems to know the right thing to say. For around a minute, she stayed pressed against his chest, inhaling his scent. Right before her body separated from his, she placed her lips against his neck for a tiny kiss.

“Let’s check the sticks then, hah?” Blake nodded anxiously.

She tilted her hands up to the nightstand and took them up. Gwen planted her back against Blake’s chest now, as she sat between Blake’s legs.

Just when Blake was about to ask how he could see what said what, Gwen turned the sticks around.

All Blake could see was that they were telling a very clear story. Three times, it said the same thing. He could hear Gwen hold in her breathe as she then suddenly let the sticks fall down again and used her hand to cover her lips.

“Gwen?”, he said to which she barely reacted, only a relieved breath escaped. But Blake didn’t know what kind of a relief it was, like ‘I’m not pregnant at 46’ relief or the; ‘I am pregnant at 46’.

“Not to like ruin this moment or whatever, but I have no idea what those say”

That caused Gwen to start laughing as a few tears rolled over her cheeks. She pushed herself up from the bed again, and turned around to face him. Her arms flew over his neck. And when her eyes met his, a smile grew on her lips, which automatically made Blake smile along.

“we’re getting a baby, Blake”, she said as another tear of joy ran down her cheeks. Both her hands cupped his cheeks, as their smiles turned into wide grins. “You’re gonna be a daddy”

Blake’s eyes filled before letting out a short squeal. And not even a second later, his lips were pressed against her beaming lips.

 

 


	28. twenty-eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ready for this story to end? One more after this.  
> Enjoy!

_"You're gonna be a daddy, Blake"_

The cowboy was sitting on his hospital bed, looking at the clouds of the window as he thought back on the moment he found out that his dream to be a dad wasn’t gonna be just a dream.

It had been three weeks since they found out. Three weeks of Gwen rushing over to the toilet almost every morning and also three weeks of Gwen helping Blake get up from the bed and basically carrying his tall figure towards the bathroom whenever he had to. That mostly ended up with them laughing their asses off whenever they almost fall.

Two weeks ago, Gwen's kids arrived in the hospital on the weekend. They had jumped on Blake and had barely left the cowboy's side for the entire two days. On Sunday night they had to go back to LA, considering another school week was going to start. Gwen's mom and dad had made a trip out of it and had visited some of Oklahoma's nicest places. Their most remarking visit was probably the hospital though, as they met Blake for the first time.

Patti was immediately fond of him as, just like Gwen, the dimples had been a weakness. Also Blake's humor was something she got addicted to quite easily. He even succeeded in making Dennis laugh uncontrollably, as the man had to wipe his eyes. All of them talked to each other, mostly Kingston excitedly telling stories about school, as he didn’t tell them to all the people in the room. Nope, he told them just for Blake.

At the end of the day, Adam and Behati had taken the two oldest to get some proper diner. Gwen had heard Adam mention some Italian restaurant to which the boys had reacted quite enthusiastically. In the meantime Apollo was in Patti's arms, fast asleep.

For the first hours  they had arrived, Gwen had only cast Blake smiles and loving glances from afar, not really knowing how to act with her parents by her side. Obviously they knew she loves Blake, but yet she felt like a nervous teenager all over again. But as she started to get tired –which was quite fast lately, probably the pregnancy wearing off- she could see Blake’s eyes find hers quite often.

She knew within every small smile he gave her that Blake saw she was getting tired. And by how in line he is with her, how much he cared for her, she couldn’t handle it any longer. So casually she passed her mom’s chair and went to sit down at the edge of the mattress.

Blake was busy talking with Dennis about something that had happened in the media, even bringing up politics, actually really the kind of typical guy talk. Meanwhile Blake nonchalantly brought his arm around Gwen’s middle and stroke his thumb over her stomach. The conversation between the two men went very smoothly, as Gwen and her mom mostly listened.

And even though Gwen would love to listen to whatever they talked about some more, she felt her eyes getting heavier. As she let out a yawn she tried to hide it behind her hand, but Blake noticed anyway. His arm hooked a little further around her, and pulled her to him, so her head came to rest on his chest.  In the meantime he was laughing at something Dennis had said and they kept the conversation going. Gwen contently smiled as she closed her eyes while hugging Blake's chest tightly.

 

Around a week ago, they finally got the news that there was found prove that Gavin was in Tishomingo the day of the accident. He was taken by the police and was held for interrogation. They didn’t share much with Gwen on the phone, but all they were allowed to know was that things weren't looking good for him. A file of abuse running against him, a break-in in Todd's house and now also an attempt of homicide...

Also  somewhere that week Josh left for military after all. He was three weeks late, but he only left once he was sure Blake was gonna be fine. The scans had shown a positive progress and his headaches were getting better and better with each passing day. Also the strength in his body was getting much better and the exhaustion became bearable.

And about Lilly? She got to meet Luke Bryan. He had sung a few songs to her, which made her all giggly and shy. They talked a little, laughed a lot and took few pictures. Also at one point, Gwen arranged a wheel chair for Blake and made him meet the little girl as well. He fell in love with her, just as Gwen had the exact same second she had met her.

 

It also was the week that everybody started to leave.  Only a few days ago RaeLynn had hugged Gwen and Blake goodbye, as she was needed back in Nashville for work. Luke had a tour starting rather soon as well, so he had invited both Gwen and Blake to come to one of his concerts in a few months, before he told his goodbyes as well. And yesterday also Behati really had to get back to LA, for some victoria secret meeting.

 

So today as Gwen was helping Blake into his coat, only Adam and Dot were still by their sides. The voice tapings started in a few months from now and with the trail running against Gavin, Ellie allowed them to travel to LA. For checkups he could easily go to an LA hospital as well, but Gwen insisted they'd come back to Tish. That way she would still be able to visit Lilly from time to time, who had indeed over the last three weeks started a new session of chemo. Gwen had visited her everyday over the last weeks and met her parents as well, who seemed to be lovely people and not to forget, big fans of country music as well.

In the meantime it was no longer only Lilly and her parents that had recognized the couple in the hospital… Rumours started spreading, tons about what brought the two of them together, most of them talking about Gwen cheating on Gavin, which was kinda ironically. But anyhow, the calls had started to come in from friends and further away family, but of course also from their management and what they should say to the press. That ended up with Gwen officially stating that she had filed for divorce. Talking about the divorce, obviously the interest in Gavin peaked as well. Where was he? What happened? Is it true he has a lawsuit running against him? Is it true he’s put in prison for trying to kill Gwen’s lover?

Obviously no comment was made by either Gwen or Blake’s management about those questions.

"You ready to be the king of country again" Ellie teased as she eventually walked in. She shared a long hug with Gwen before glancing at Blake.

"I'm ready to be regular Blake again, that's for sure", he said with his handsome smile.

“Well Blake, remember that it’s important to have a lot of physical activity to get back to yourself”

 “Oh believe me, that won’t be a problem”, he smirked while travelling his eyes towards Gwen who blushed, before letting out a shy giggle.

“Guys ew”, Adam said then as he held his nose up and shook his head disgusted. That only made Gwen laugh even more while pulling her hand to stroke over the back of Blake’s curls.

“Obviously I was talking about fishing, cooking, horseback riding…”, Blake said with a smirk to which Adam rolled his eyes.

“Yeah right”, Ellie said then, as she let out a sarcastic laugh.

“Well if making out with Gwen counts as well, I won’t lie, I prefer that”

“Blakey”, Gwen whispered slightly embarrassed, causing Blake to throw his head back to laugh.

“I’m sorry, you still love me?”, His arms embraced her legs as she was standing up beside the bed. Gwen found his puppy doll eyes, to which she bit her lip, trying to hold back a grin. At first she was gonna tease him a little, but before she knew she was fully taken over by the blue in his eyes, the dimples of his smile and the gentleness of his thumbs on her back.

“I do love you”, Her hand softly stroked over Blake’s scruff, as he beamed up at her.

“You better not be like this 24/7 on the voice, or I’ll find myself a bridge to jump off”, Adam interrupted the moment, to which Gwen rolled her eyes slightly amused. Anyhow she didn’t care about his opinion, as she moved her hand to the back of his curls, and leaned in to take his lips with hers.

“I love you too”, Blake whispered then, clearly no longer intended to tease Adam, no longer intended for Adam’s ears, as he just stared right at her and gave her a short wink.

It’s then that Adam found himself smiling as well, by seeing their interaction. Sure he’ll keep on joking about them being clingy and sure he’ll get annoyed from time to time whenever he won’t get all the attention… But deep down, Adam was so happy for them. Especially to see the pure happiness in his best friends eyes again. It’s something he won’t mention though. He only truly is kind and caring with Blake on rare moment, only when it comes down to it. He can’t let his soft side be seen too often.

 

 

** 7 WEEKS LATER **

Gwen thought she had been subtle, as she didn't toss and turn. Instead she had decided to do the complete opposite. Her body stayed still with Blake's arm wrapped around her. His hand was gently placed on top of her stomach, clearly holding both of them tight.

 

Her eyes were opened wide. She wasn't focussed on anything really, no, instead she just stared right in front of her.

It's must be around 3 or 4AM by now and Gwen hadn't  been able to fall asleep. She truly had figured she had been hiding her sleeplessness quite well until she suddenly felt the mattress move.

She held her breath, trying to figure out whether the cowboy right next to her was awake as well. Just when she  thought he only had tossed a little in his sleep, she felt his warm lips being pressed against her shoulder blade.

"Sweetie?", he whispered, but Gwen stayed frozen. "You're awake aren't ya?"

His hand caressed gently over her arm before placing another kiss, a little higher on her shoulder.

It's only then that Gwen allowed a soft sigh to come over her lips. She knew she didn't have to say a word for him to know what was bothering her. After all she knew he felt the exact same way.

"Roll over here", he suggested with his sweet voice. It took Gwen a couple of seconds before she turned around and faced her cowboy. He gave her a handsome and caring smile when their eyes locked.

Gwen threw her arm around Blake's chest and let her head rest on the upper side of his arm, to still be able to face him. In the meantime Blake's hand held her close.

"I'm so sorry, Blakey", Gwen whispered to which he frowned.

"Why would you be sorry?"

"For waking you", Blake shook his head.

"I wasn't sleeping, pretty girl", his fingers softly stroked trough her blonde hair, knowing it would calm her. "It's ok to be scared, you know?"

Gwen nodded while a sigh escaped. "I know.. I just don't want you to be scared as well"

Blake's hand stopped moving through her hair to catch her eyes.

"Gwen.."

"No I know that you are as well... but this is your first pregnancy and I want you to feel nothing but happy and"

Blake had leaned in and silenced her with a kiss. His lips were tightly locked on hers and it did take a few second to feel her kissing back.

"Both of us know that that is not gonna happen, I'll worry all the time, for nine months straight, and I'll be holding my breath tomorrow at the ultrasound, and the ultrasound after that, and that's fine", Blake told her with a content smile. "And that would be the exact same thing if you'd be 25" he added while placing his free hand over her stomach.

"But I am not... There are more risks", Gwen whispered while placing her hand on top of his.

"I know", Blake told her while tightening his embrace. "And whatever the doctor tells us tomorrow, we'll be fine. Even in the worst case, we'll talk and we'll be fine, ok?"

Gwen found his eyes and nodded.

"I love you tons", Gwen leaned in and placed her lips on his. "I love you, I love you, I love you", she whispered between every peck. Blake started to chuckle within their kisses.

"Now my two sweeties need sleep, so close your eyes",

Gwen obeyed, not before placing her lips on his again, and her eyes closed shut.

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Gwen stop pacing around", Blake chuckled  while reaching for her arm and pulling her towards him. Blake was sitting down in the waiting room while Gwen was standing up straight, their legs touching.

"I'm just nervous", she said while she bounced her legs uncontrollably.

Blake hooked his arm around her and made soothing circles over the small of her back.

"I just want this so bad", Blake nodded.

"Me too, baby. Just a few more minutes"

Blake pulled her even closer so that his head could rest against her stomach. Gwen tilted his snapback off of his crown and placed it on her own. Her fingers moved over his forehead straight into his hairs. She caressed over his scalp and she could feel Blake relax under her touch. Her thumbs softly made circles over his scalp and from time to time she leaned in to place a kiss on his hair.

"Mrs. Stefani?"

Her head snapped around to glance over her shoulder while Blake tilted his head up from on her stomach. A woman with blond, curling hairs was standing right there. Gwen had seen her around here already when Blake was the patient, and she immediately felt relieved to see it was her. That’s because Gwen had seen her interact with her patients, patiently and with all the love in the world.

"Yes", Gwen said, while reaching her hand out towards Blake to pull him up. Once they stood up the doctor approached them and put out her hand to shake theirs.

"You're the father, I assume?", she asked with a sweet smile. Blake nodded while shaking the doctor's hand.

"Yes. Blake Shelton", he spoke proudly to which the doctor gave him a friendly nod. In the meantime he entwined his fingers with Gwen's, clearly nervous.

"My name is Dr. Sawyer, it’s nice to meet you. You can follow me",

So the couple did. They were leaded towards one of the hospital rooms, walking hand in hand. Once they arrived, Gwen immediately sat down at the hospital bed.

 

“Is this your first?”, The woman asked as she was prepping the echo. Gwen was aware that the chances the doctor recognized either one of them was almost 100%, but Gwen respected the hell out of her for not treating them any differently.

“It is his first”, Gwen said while pulling his hand closer to hers  so she could slightly hug onto his arm. “We already have three ones running around our house though”, Gwen threw her eyes up to catch Blake’s eyes who was already staring.

He was biting his lip because of his nerves, but a smile broke through when he saw her beautiful chocolate eyes.

“What ages are they?”, The doctor asked to distract the couple until she was ready with prepping up the ultrasound machine.

“Nine, seven and two”, Gwen answered with a proud grin.

“Those are fun ages”,

“Yes it’s definitely fun”, Gwen stroke her thumb over Blake’s skin. The doctor turned around then and walked up towards the two of them.

“You ready for it?”, Dr. Sawyer asked them with a sweet grin when she spotted their nerves. She waited until both of them had nodded to go on. After that she typed something into the screen. In the meantime Gwen already slightly pushed her t-shirt up and exposed her belly.

“You’re 11 weeks now, right?”, Gwen nodded as dr. Sawyer put the gel on the ultrasound scanner.

“This is something I really dislike saying, because ultrasound aren’t only exciting but also nerve wrecking, I know, I have two of my own”, the woman shared generously while looking back over at the couple. “But it’s necessary to specifically inform you that because of your age being above 40, this is seen as a high risk pregnancy”, she said to which both Gwen and Blake.

“Are there any questions about that?”, Gwen and Blake looked over at each other, not quite sure what to ask first. There were many questions, even though they didn’t know how to put them into words.

“Well on this first ultrasound, we’ll be doing a nuchal scan. This one is very important to be able to tell if your baby might have any problems with his or her chromosomes”

Blake nodded while pulling his arm tighter around Gwen, who ended up nodding a few seconds later on.

“Such as Down syndrome?”, Blake asked, just to be sure he was fully getting it.

The doctor nodded while giving him a calming smile.

“I know that with high risk pregnancies, we obviously have a bigger chance, but what exactly is that chance”, Gwen asked carefully while leaning the back of her head against Blake’s chest, frightened for the answer.

“The chances for a chromosomal disorder in your case is around 1 in 21 births…”, a dramatic silence followed, and Gwen had to swallow. Sure she had looked up way too much on the internet already, but damn had she hoped that the doctor would tell her something differently. “for the down syndrome particularity that’s around 1 in 30”,

Blake thankfully nodded to the blond, curly woman, before leaning in to place his lips against Gwen’s crown.

“I know those are cruel numbers, so take your time”, she told them, showing some empathy, which both of them appreciated. “You should stay positive. 20 out of 21 are just fine”

Her words were calming as Gwen’s tight grip around Blake’s arm got a little looser.

“You ready to start?” she asked then to which they both greedily nodded.

“This is gonna feel cold”, She warned Gwen before placing the ultrasound scanner on her stomach. Blake took a seat on the edge of the bed and watched the screen attentively.

 For quite some seconds dr. Sawyer was searching over Gwen’s body and Blake could feel his heart start racing… until finally another heartbeat filled the room.

Gwen threw her head up –relieved already- to find her cowboy, who was staring at the screen for a few more seconds before turning back to Gwen’s. He popped her his dimples, as Gwen smiled at him as well.

Blake’s eyes grew big as on the screen a clear image started to form of the figure of their baby. It wasn’t detailed, obviously. But you could clearly see the little one’s romp and head.

 “Wow”, he spoke clearly amazed while his mouth dropped. Gwen as well was staring at the screen with sparkling eyes while she felt Blake’s thumb stroke over her hand.

“Well as you can see this is your baby’s head and right there you can also make out one of its—“, The doctor her volume suddenly faded as suddenly a frown came to the woman’s face.  “—hands” , she added then.

Gwen’s eyes immediately filled with panic. “What’s wrong?”

The concern only got worse, when the doctor turned the screen slightly away from the couple to get a better sight. Dr. Sawyer started to move the scanner a little further over Gwen’s stomach again.

Gwen nervously reached for Blake’s hands and squeezed them.

“Doctor?”, Blake asked while throwing his arm around Gwen’s body. She concentrated on the screen for a few more seconds before she turned right back to the couple.

She threw them a sweet, caring smile.

“Don’t worry, breathe”, she reassured both of them. The doctor turned the screen back towards the couple and she saw their eyes land on it. And just then, the beating of the heart in the room seemed to increase.

“Congratulations”, she said then, when she saw Gwen’s eyes widen while looking at the ultrasound. “You’re expecting twins”,

Blake’s mouth literally dropped when he realised he realised the heartbeat hadn’t fastened, but that there were two… and then he saw the second body on the scan as well.

“Oh my God”, Blake eventually brought out while he couldn’t move his eyes away from the screen. Gwen had been covering her mouth as she stared at the screen. She was the first one to be able to look at Blake, though. Happy tears were dwelling up in her eyes.

“We’re getting twins?”, Blake blurted out in complete awe once his eyes met hers. Gwen still was biting her lips as she nodded her head.

“It are one egg twins, which means your babies will be identical”

Both of them looked back up at the doctor with matching grins as they nodded. When Blake’s eyes wandered off towards the screen again, he did frown.

“How can you see that they are identical?”, he asked curiously while he was still holding Gwen tightly, even though he tried to move closer towards the screen.

“Well we can see it because right here”, the woman moved her finger over to the casing around their babies. “This is the placenta. And as you can see they share them. With fraternal twins, they both have their own placenta”

Blake took the information in and ended up nodding. “but they are separated though?”, he asked as he saw some friction in between them. The woman hummed.

“They are both in separated amniotic sacs. As they’ll grow bigger, they’ll still be able to feel each other”,

That caused Blake to give her a grateful smile for explaining, but soon his eyes were right on their babies again.

“This is unbelievable”, Gwen whispered eventually, barely having heard a single thing the doctor told Blake. All she could do was stare at those miracles on the screen. “Are they ok?”

The woman gave her a short smile before turning the screen back towards her. She moved her eyes over the little ones a couple of times, which ended up lasting for minutes straight. The woman moved the scanner a few more times, looking at all the directions before putting down her final answer.

 

“Your babies seem absolutely fine”, she genuinely sounded relieved herself, as Gwen burst out in tears.

“Gwen, babe”, Blake chuckled shortly before pulling her into his chest.  “They are fine”, Blake told her in complete disbelief.

“Yes they are”, Dr. Sawyer said while she lifted the scanner away from Gwen’s stomach. After removing the gel as well, Gwen was still buried in Blake’s chest as he ran his fingers through her hair.

“What are we sure off right now?”, Blake asked the doctor.

“That your identical twins don’t have any chromosomal disorders, so definitely no down syndrome”,

“And you are sure?”, Blake didn’t wanna be rude, or question her ability at all, but he just felt like this was too good to be true. He had couldn’t help himself but ask.

The doctor shared a soft laugh before nodding her head.

“I’ve been doing this for over 12 years sir, and believe me, the syndrome of Down is quite easily to spot”

That made Blake let out a huge sigh while giving her a thankful smile. After that, the doctor decided to give them some privacy.

“Gwennie?”, he stroke over her cheek that wasn’t pressed against his shirt.

“Twins”, was all she said while letting out a relieved and happy sigh. Blake chuckled at that while he dried the last of her tears. He knew she was tired, which made her even more emotional than she already was. And also he wasn’t gonna deny that this was the least thing he was expecting to hear today.

“It’s crazy”, she said then while she finally met his eyes. “I always wanted twins”

“You did?”, he asked her while showing off his dimples.

“Yes”, she said with the biggest of grins on her face as well.

 

 

 

 

 

After a few minutes, they were ready to go. Not before searching up Ellie and for Gwen to hug her tightly. The doctor was very happy to see both of them, and after a short chat about when Blake’s next check up was going to be and about the ultrasound they just had, they went separate ways again. Of course before walking out of the building, Gwen was nodding on a particular door.

“Come in”

Gwen hesitantly opened the door and peaked a teddy bear from behind it. She could hear a giggle come out of the room, causing Gwen to open the door a bit more and show her own face as well.

“Gwen!”, Lily shouted with a huge smile.

“Hello there”, Gwen said as she walked in. On her other hand, there was Blake Shelton. The kid her eyes sparkled even more when she saw the cowboy walk in.

“Hi”, Blake said while flashing her his dimples. “We brought you not only a teddy bear, but also—“

Blake took a step back outside and walked back in with his guitar. “We brought you a song”

The girl grinned brightly at the cowboy while Gwen moved over to the girl and hugged her. The girl rested her head on Gwen’s shoulder for a few seconds as she contently smiled.

“You gonna sing me a song?”, she asked emotionally, to which Blake reached his eyebrows up while nodding excitedly.

“Whichever you want, sweetie”, Blake said before closing the distance as well and throwing his arm around the little girl.

Blake carefully went to sit down beside her on the bed. His back resting against the pushed up mattress as he placed his guitar not only on top of his own but also partly on her lap.

Gwen watched the scene in front of her as she sat down on the end of the bed, facing them.

"What you gonna sing?"

“How about this?”, Blake said, as he moved his fingers over the strings and he started to play the first notes of a song, causing Gwen to let out a laugh.

_“If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain”,_

The girl instantly started laughing while slightly pushing Blake on the arm. The cowboy started laughing as well, before meeting the young girl’s green eyes.

“What? Not good” The girl crunched her nose while shaking her head.

“Okay, tell me, which song do you wanna hear”, he asked her.

“How about _Home_?”, Blake was at first surprised by the song choice, but he didn’t let it see. Instead he just gave her a tiny smile before bobbing his head.

“I can do that”,

Blake silently started to bring his head over the strings again.

Gwen had felt the tears dwell up in her eyes the second she had heard the song choice, and it didn’t get better when Blake’s voice broke through.

_“Another summer day has come and gone away, in Paris and Rome but I wanna go home, may be surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone—“_

A million times, Gwen had to swallow her tears away, as at first she had seen the girl admire Blake with smiling eyes, but at the end she had put the back of her head at the mattress again, giving her eyes some rest.

As the song ended, Lily pulled herself up and placed a kiss on Blake’s cheek as a thank you. Gwen noticed how gentle he was with her, how much he cared and instantly she felt her hand cover her stomach.

“How about I play you one more?”, he asked, noticing how she was getting tired already. She nodded excitedly while clinging onto her new teddy bear.

The second Blake started to play a certain song, Gwen brought her eyes up to give him a sweet glance. He smiled right back before wandering his eyes off to the little girl. Hey Jude, by the beatles… but soon Gwen realised he had changed the lyrics just for Lilly, who she had never seen smile as bright as just in that moment

_“Hey Lily, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to keep up the fight every day, then the doctors will make you feel better. Hey Lily, don't be afraid, you were made to go out and live life. The minute you get out this hospital, then you begin to make life better. And anytime you feel the pain, hey Lily, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders…..”_

 

 

** ONE WEEK LATER… **

The knockouts always are as exhausting as they are fun. So within every break, Blake made sure Gwen stayed put or she sat down somewhere else. He barely talked with Adam, which was annoying him quite a lot, as instead he always was at Gwen’s side making sure she’s fine. Seriously, 24/7, he was worried about her. He was getting her water, making sure she ate something during every break and even at one point was massaging her neck considering she was simply rubbing her fingers over it unconsciously.

When at one break, Gwen had went backstage with Pharrell, Adam came walking up towards Blake. The rock star as usually was joking around about nothing in particularly, as Blake just laughed. Their conversation had only lasted for a couple of minutes until Adam found Blake looking around him already again, clearly searching for Gwen.

That made Adam roll his eyes while letting out a sigh. Blake travelled his eyes back up at Adam to find him clearly annoyed.

“I’m sorry, you said something?”,

Adam shook his head. “No man, I didn’t”, he let out another sigh, not truly an angry one, but rather a sad one as Adam avoided his eyes.

“I’ll go find something to eat”, Blake nodded and before he knew, he said the following thing:

“Oh kay, can you bring some fruit salad as well?”, The second the words left his lips, he knew he only made things worse, as Adam gave him a weird look. Obviously Adam instantly knew the fruit salad was for Gwen, just like everything lately, everything had been about and for her. But anyhow, Adam gave him a smile and nodded before turning back around and taking his first steps up to the cafeteria.

His smile hadn’t seemed genuine. No, again it seemed as if he was trying to hide the fact that he was hurt.

“Hey, you know what?”, Blake said because of it, while quickly walking back up towards Adam. “I’ll come with you”,

 Adam glanced over at the cowboy as an instant, real smile appeared.

“So go on, tell me about Sammy Hagar’s party”, Blake asked him, as he remembered Adam talking about it earlier. So with that, Adam rambled on and on about all the things that had happened that night. Both of them laughed all the way towards the cafeteria and once they arrived at the cafeteria and Adam had turned his back to order something, Blake instantly reached for his phone.

He was just about to open the chat with Gwen, when he suddenly heard a small huff coming from beside him. Adam was standing right next to him already with a coffee in his hand and the fruit salad for Blake –or well Gwen.

“Oh that was quick”, Blake chuckled as he casually locked his phone again when he saw Adam’s super annoyed eyes.

“Here’s your fruit salad”, Adam kind of snapped at him while placing the cup in his hands. After that Adam just passed Blake by and walked away.

“Hey, wait, where are you going?”, Blake eventually was able to stumble out completely confused. Quickly he turned around and started to follow Adam, but he was rather quick, as Blake could barely keep up with him.

“Buddy”, he screamed, to which he heard Adam let out a bitter chuckle.

“Buddy, really?”, he mocked while shaking his head.

“What the hell is wrong with you?”, Blake said as he got a hold of Adam’s arm.

Adam turned around and met Blake’s eyes.

“What’s wrong with me?”, Adam cried out in disbelief. “What is wrong with you?”,

All the crew in the cafeteria snapped their heads up to find where the screaming was coming from. When they found Blake and Adam standing there, everyone got confused, especially when they see the unshed tears in Adam’s eyes.

“You know what, just go the Gwen already ok? I’m done”, Adam burst out before pushing the door open and walking out of it, leaving a very confused Blake behind at the end of the cafeteria . At first Blake huffed while shaking his head. He turned around and saw all the eyes stare at him. Right after that, he felt a lump create in his throat.  Blake thought fast, and he all at once realised how he hadn’t had a proper talk with Adam in weeks. For years, he had been his go-to-person. For years, Adam had listened to his misery, to his joy and to his jokes. They talked so much, they laughed so much, but lately, he hadn’t. He barely remember the last time he had walked up to Adam to start a conversation… And then all at once, Blake understood.

In one wimp, he was turned towards the door again and ran out of it as well.

 

 

Blake was slumbering around on the voice parking lot for minutes already and he was just about to lose hope on finding Adam when then suddenly he heard some noise from a little further.

Within a few steps, Blake could see Adam sitting on some wooden pallets right beside the containers. His elbows were resting on his knees, as his hands kept his chin up. He had sadness in his eyes, as he even seemed to wipe the tears out of them.

Blake hesitated to go further and making himself present.  He really didn’t look well and Blake’s heart broke in a million pieces to see him like this. Maybe there was more to it then Blake might think. Maybe it wasn’t just the fact that Blake wasn’t truly paying attention to him for weeks already, maybe it wasn’t the fact that Blake was absent as he worried about Gwen and the babies, while Adam didn’t know. After all, Gwen and him had decided to not tell a single soul until it was no longer hideable. It’s still a high risk pregnancy after all, they wanted to prevent the potential hurt of needing to tell anyone they lost the babies. So instead, that’s what they decided on.

So not even Adam or RaeLynn and for Gwen, not even Jen or Pharrell knew about their pregnancy.

Anyhow, Blake knew he wasn’t going to be able to turn back around and give Adam some time and space. So there was only one more option. Carefully Blake took a few steps closer to Adam, and instantly the rocker tensed up when he saw Blake approach him out of the corner of his eyes.

Silently the cowboy sat down on the wooden pallet as well and let the far away traffic noise take over for a couple seconds.

“I am so sorry”, Blake decided to say while staring in front of him. He was fizzling with his fingers and with the cup of the fruit salad. “I know I haven’t spoken with you a lot”,

Blake’s eyes wondered off towards Adam, who was still sitting in the exact same position. Like literally he hadn’t moved an inch.

“And I’m sorry, I really am, you’re always there for me and I probably have treated you like shit the last few weeks and—“

Blake let out a sight while he decided to look back in front of him again as well.

“It’s fine”, Adam said then out of nowhere, noble of him.

“No it isn’t, if I would be you, and Gwen be’d Behati, I’d be—“,  Blake considered a few words: sad, mad, feeling left out… but eventually he decided on: “I’d be disappointed as well”

Finally that caused Adam to turn his head. He waited until Blake found the courage to turn his head and until their eyes locked.

“It’s fine”, he repeated to which Blake shook his head again.

“It isn’t”, Blake said. “It’s not because I have a girlfriend that I should forget about the person that dragged me out of the black hole I once was in”, he said it as how Adam must feel it. Obviously Blake isn’t like this. His friends are so important to him, and he’s sure he wouldn’ve abandoned Adam the way he has, if it wasn’t for him being worried about the pregnancy all the damn time.

“Let me make it up to you, please”,

Adam then chuckled. “I overreacted ok? It’s fine, really”, Blake gave him an intense look, not believing any of this is fine at all.

“Stop saying it’s fine, let me make up for it”, Blake said once more, to which Adam eventually ended up nodding. “Which night are you free?”

“This week?” Instantly Blake nodded.

“Tomorrow or-“

“Tomorrow it is. We’ll go have a drink after the voice, ok?”

That made a smile appear on Adam’s face as he nodded. For almost a minute they sat there, in complete silence, just enjoying the sunbeams.

“How’s Behati?”, Blake asked him  to which Adam carefully found Blake’s eyes. The way Adam was looking right now and how he sucked on his bottom lip, overwhelmed Blake with worry.

“That’s actually what this whole thing must be about”, Adam answered while pointing in between himself and Blake, to gesture towards their ‘fight’. When Blake frowned, Adam looked at his converses.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you something”,

Blake set up a bit more straighter and loosened his shoulders, trying to get rid of his concern.

“What is it?”, the cowboy asked next, as he focused on Adam completely. He noticed how Adam tilted himself a few inches up from on the pallet and reached for his back pocket, taking out his wallet. He opened up the wallet and took a piece of paper out of it. All Blake could see was the backside which was completely white.

Adam stared at the sheet for a few seconds as a happy smile formed. After that he reached his arm out towards the cowboy and placed the picture in between Blake’s fingers.

The second Blake traced his eyes away from Adam to glance at the sheet, Blake’s eyes widened.  It’s a similar picture that he has had in his inside pocket of his blazer right now. It’s always in his pocket, no matter which vest he’s wearing. The only obvious difference there was between this sheet and the one in his pockt was that there was only one figure.

A ultrasound scan. Blake’s lip fell down as he gazed at the scan.

“This is yours?”, he asked while snapping his head up to meet Adam, who was still sucking on his bottom lip. Excitedly he started bobbing his head.

“Behati is – you two are pregnant?”,

As if Adam was still as surprised as Blake was right now, he tilted his hand up towards his mouth as well before nodding again.

Blake felt the instant urge to share the same happiness. To take his own scan out of his inside pocket, but he shouldn’t. So instead he could feel some tears come to his eyes as he stared at Adam. His best friend was getting a baby and with some luck by their sides, that baby is going to grew up with his two.

“You’re finally going to be a dad”, Blake said in pure happiness, and again Adam nodded his head as happy tears filled his eyes.

“I wanted to tell you first, and I would’ve told you sooner but—“, Adam stopped talking as he thought about how to say this.

“But I never had time”, Blake then realised as he felt kind of bad, but he then saw Adam shrug it off. 

“Wow”, Blake leaned in and threw his arm around Adam. They shared a long hug, as Blake petted Adam’s back a couple of times.

“I am so happy for you”,

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more. It was quiet a ride already, I honestly never expected to end this story with Blake and Gwen getting twins, like I barely remember how I got here, haha!  
> Anyway, I hope you truly loved the story, let me know if you did and um, well other than that, I hope you'll enjoy the last chapter as well!  
> Thank you for joining me on this ride!   
> See you soon!


	29. twenty-nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter.  
> I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I loved writing it.   
> I know that on twitter I started a poll to ask whether you'd want either a sequel or a new story. Another thing I know is that the sequel won wit 57%, but nevertheless, I decided to not do it. I'm kinda afraid if I do that things would start to get boring. So this truly is the last chapter you'll read of this story, of the story with Blake who met the love of his life for the first time by the name Grace. Of the story about becoming a blended family, basically, and I really hope you loved it.   
> Let me know if you did,  
> thank you for the comments and the kudos after every chapter, it meant a lot.

Blake and Adam were situated on the curb, waiting for their uber to arrive. It must only be around a little after midnight, when Adam had decided to call it a night. Blake hated to admit it, but he was rather glad when his friend had spoken out those words. It’s not that he hadn’t enjoyed his night out, catching up, drinking a bit more than they should, but then there’s Gwen. It’s a new thing for Blake, it had never been like this. Never had he been with someone that he loved to spend time with as much as he does with Gwen. Sure Adam will always be one of his closest buddies, but Gwen? He realised that she is not only his love, but also his best friend.

And he caught himself on whenever he shared a laugh that he looked around the room, to see if she found it funny as well, even if she’s not there.

Nevertheless, Blake tried to get over it and at the end of the night he did have a good time and maybe also a bit too much alcohol. The cowboy glanced over at Adam, who was shaking a little.

“You’re a wuss”, He shook his head while rolling his eyes.

“Wait, why?”, Adam asked confused, to which Blake had already reached his jacket out his way. The rocker was only wearing a light, summer shirt, forgetting about the cold spring breeze late at night. Luckily Blake was rarely ever cold and today wasn’t any different.

Adam smiled while taking the jacket and putting his arms into the holes.

“So are you gonna find out the gender?”, Blake placed his hands behind him on the sidewalk to lean on them as he waited for an answer.

“Yeah”, Adam stared up at the night sky with a simple but content smile. The cowboy followed his example and saw a few stars sparkle. Blake frowned at the view which made him realise how he was still in LA these days. Lately he seems to forget about that.

The thing is, he used to hate LA, the traffic, the unkindness and the arrogance, and well also the little amount of stars. And right now when they were staring up at the stars, Blake got lost in his thoughts, as he realised how happy he had been in this city lately. How he had grown to love it here…  For 4 years he had disliked this place,  hating every second when he wasn’t on the voice set or in the woods, but right now… Gwen made him so happy, he could barely believe it. He was genuinely surprised to not feel terrible right now when he saw how little stars there were visible above him.

“Wouldn’t you wanna know?”, It’s a hypothetical question, Blake realised that, but his first reaction was to frown.

“I don’t know”, Even though he had been the one asking Adam the question earlier, he genuinely had not any idea how to fill in that answer on his own life. Like would he? Wanna know the gender? Would Gwen? Did she know her boys were gonna boys? Somehow Blake ended up being completely caught off guard and overwhelmed. Instantly he put a mental note to seriously have that conversation with Gwen. And before Adam could catch up on his confusion, a car pulled up beside them.

Adam was the first to jump up and reach his hand out for Blake to take. Both of them crawled in the car and briefly greeted the driver before continuing some small talk. The first stop was Blake’s house. They shared a short hug goodbye, Blake paid the driver and soon he was standing back on his feet in front of the gate. Within a few steps the cowboy was entering the code of the gate, and just when one single beeping noise reached his ears, to indicate the gate was about to open, Blake heard a car door slam closed again.

He gazed over his shoulder to find Adam running up to him.

“Your jacket”, He explained as in the meantime he was clumsily wobbling the thing off of his shoulders. Only when he was standing right in front of Blake, he had finally been able to get the coat off. Nonchalantly Adam swung it into the cowboy’s hands, causing a piece of paper to fall out of it.

“Woops, shit, my bad”,

At first Blake chuckled while Adam crouched down and was gonna pick the paper up. But it’s right then that the alcohol completely faded out of Blake’s brain and that he realised what was happening. The cowboy’s eyes popped out and all together he stopped breathing.

“Don’t”, it was the first thing that came to his mind. Adam stopped moving his hand and glanced over at his friend. He gave Blake a weird look while letting out a confused  chuckle.

“Why?”, he asked suspiciously while raising a single eyebrow. When he saw Blake’s speechlessness, he carefully moved his fingers further over the paper. One of his fingers slipped under it.

Blake leaded his hand towards his forehead and rubbed it nervously. Their eyes were locked while Adam stood back up and was holding the sheet in between his fingers.

“What is on here that I’m not allowed to see?”, Adam asked now suddenly more serious, considering Blake got super tensed all at once and the tension seriously could cut you like a knife. Nervously Blake bounced on his feet while moving his hand up to his neck.

Eventually Blake ended up letting out a sight and making a hand gesture. _Go ahead._

The rocker frowned while holding his friend’s gaze for a few more seconds to then hesitantly twist the paper. His forehead was completely wrinkled, as he didn’t seem to understand. His brown, shining eyes –side effect from the alcohol- suddenly seemed to be aware of what was going on as there was a hint of realisation to be seen. Right after that his mouth dropped open, o-shaped, while his eyebrows flew up and his eyes widened.

He didn’t even have a chance to properly react, as suddenly a voice broke through.

“Blakey?”

Both men snapped their heads to where the voice was coming from. At first no one was there to be seen, but coming from the backyard, the gorgeous blonde appeared.

“Oh Adam, hi”, Adam noticed how she had stumbled over her words as in the meantime she closed her night gown a bit more.

His eyes kept going in between the paper and then to meet Gwen’s figure, to eventually land on her stomach. He was met with a rather obvious bump. Directly he wondered how he couldn’ve noticed this on the voice earlier, but almost right away he realised she had been wearing quite much clothing that had been able to cover it up. Somehow in the middle he found Blake’s crystal blue’s to see him biting lip, not quite sure what to do.

“Everything alright?”, Gwen took the last few steps towards them with her bare feet.

“Hey babe”, Blake threw an arm around her and greeted her with a soft peck.

“What’s going on?”, She asked the second their lips separated.  And when she looked over at Adam again she saw him holding a scan. At first she thought it was a new scan of Behati’s, and she almost asked to see it, but luckily right before she did, she frowned and then her eyebrows flew up.

“Ooohh”, she whispered underneath her breath when she saw her own two little people on it. Automatically her hand went to her stomach, as her other one went around Blake’s torso.

“I am confused”, Adam mumbled while even letting out a chuckle. “Why is this in your pocket?”, he asked, even though the answer had been obvious.

Blake opened his mouth, to speak but nothing followed, so he eventually closed it again. He wettened his lips, to gain some time but he wasn’t quite sure what the right thing to say was.

“That’s my scan”, Gwen eventually spoke while finding Adam’s glance. “These two are – well, they are ours”,

Adam seemed like a lost boy, going from Blake’s eyes to Gwen’s a million of times.

“We were gonna tell you after the 20 weeks scan”,  Blake had just started to say and Adam’s mouth flew even wider open. The cowboy realised he had never seen his friend this speechless before. His brown eyes found the scan again and gazed at it.

“Identical?”, was the first thing he asked, to which Blake had to hold his laugh, but both Gwen and Blake nodded. His hand flew towards his lips before finding their eyes again.

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way, it’s just—“

“It’s fine”, Adam interrupted as a smile crept on his lips. “You’re pregnant?”,

That caused Blake to chuckle as Gwen leaned in to her man and nod her head.

“Oh my God!”, And just like that Adam flew around their necks.

 

 

 

 

Carefully he walked towards the couch and placed the mug in her small hands. He held onto it a little longer, just to make sure she got it. It made her giggle softly to see his gentleness.

He showed her his dimples and placed a kiss on her cheek, before falling down on the couch beside her.

Gwen smelled at the tea and a soft smile grew on her lip. After that she threw her eyes over at the cowboy, who had one of his arms thrown over the back of the couch. He was biting his lip, not really nervously, but more as if he was thinking really hard about something. In that moment, he had no idea she was looking at him, and Gwen couldn’t believe how he’s so perfect all the damn time. She softly balanced the cup of the tea in one of her hand, and brought the other one up to stroke over his arm, to catch his attention.

When his eyes found hers, his deep wondering thoughts seemed to disappear as his frown was gone

“What’s up?”,

“Nothin’, just thinking”,

“Anything you’d like to share?”,

“Well, I had been thinking”, Gwen hummed while bringing her eyes down for only a couple of seconds to blow in her tea.

Blake watched her for a couple of seconds and he couldn’t help but smile. It was passed 1AM by now and even though he had told her to not wait up for him, of course she did. She’s really one in a million, and obviously not only because she stayed up, or because the fact that she was just blowing in her tea in her night gown and no make-up whatsoever, but yet it looked as if she could be doing a photoshoot… it wasn’t only because she makes life so easy and effortless… it’s because she’s loveable, and she has no idea. Blake smiled when eventually she looked up to catch him staring. She gave him a smirk, but along with a questioning look, reminding Blake to go on.

“Right um—“, he chuckled, before getting serious again. ‘Did you find out the gender of your boys before they were born?”,

Gwen was just about to take a sip of her tea, but she decided to bring the mug back down. She smiled and nodded.

“Gavin really wanted that, yeah”, she was about to lean over to place the mug on the coffee table, but Blake shot up and took it from her, not wanting her to move. She shook her head amused, but yet she didn’t say anything about it. She would never make fun of him being so caring.

“Oh”, Blake said when he turned back towards her. “What about you?”

Gwen bit her lip to think. “I don’t know, really”, she reached her hand out to stroke her nails over his scruff.  “You’d wanna know?”

Blake placed his hand on top of hers and placed a kiss on her palm. “I’m asking you first, sweetie”, he intertwined his fingers with her.

“Well then um—“ Gwen smiled at him. “Then I guess I’d rather not know”

The cowboy nodded while pulling up to sit closer to her. “Then that’s what we’ll do”,

“No wait, babe, if you want—“ Blake placed his finger over her lips to silence her.

“I agree with you”, he grinned before brushing his lips against hers slowly. But just right then, he could feel Gwen freeze under his touch. Softly he pulled away to look at her in worry when he saw a hint of discomfort in her eyes.

“You ok?”,

Gwen frowned while letting out a soft grunt. Blake instantly brought his arm around Gwen, but then luckily a smile formed on her lips, which confused Blake even more. But before he even realised Gwen reached out for his hand and placed it on top of her belly. The first few seconds he didn’t truly feel anything until then suddenly, he felt a feet kick.

“Whoa!”, Blake cried out surprised as he brought his eyes up. A huge grin took over his face as he kept on feeling some movements.

“This is crazy”, he mumbled in awe, with his lips slightly parted. Gwen nodded while she beamed at her cowboy’s eyes filled with pure happiness. They chuckled as they kept on kicking for quite some seconds, until the calmness returned again.

“Come over here”, she whispered while tilting Blake’s chin up to meet her.

Quickly he placed a kiss on her stomach first and moved his thumb over her skin. The second his eyes were at the same height as hers, Gwen pulled her arms around his neck and brought his lips up to hers. She giggled, while pulling him down with her on the couch. His tongue slipped into her mouth  and soon a dance started as Gwen blindly started to unbutton his shirt.

 

 

 

 

The live shows used to be the time of their lives, but nothing was less true this time around. Gwen’s belly was no longer hideable and of course the press jumped on it with every chance they had. All the interviews that were intended to be about the contestants and the process they had made, one way or another always ended up with Adam needing to jump in defence for Gwen and cut the interviewer off. A few steps away from those two was the other duo, Pharrell and Blake, with who happened practically the same. Pharrell needed to save the conversation multiple times. Mostly by if the interviewer asked about the pregnancy Pharrell started rubbing over his own stomach and saying something like: “I’m not sure whether it’s gonna be a boy or a girl yet”

In the beginning the interviewers laughed along with Pharrell and Adam’s distractions, but as further into the live shows, the questions started to get more personal and more specific. So at the end, Blake insisted that at least Gwen should no longer walk the red carpets, cause he knew she would never admit it, but it caused her too much stress. Mark luckily agreed, and brought out the statement that from that point in the season, the coaches would no longer do the red carpets, only contestants would be there.

But that wasn’t the only thing about the live shows. The getting into new outfits wasn’t as fun as it usually is. Not because Gwen is one of those women that hates the fact that her belly get’s bigger. She isn’t like that to see a pregnancy as getting ‘fat’. No, in contrary even, she loves to show off her round belly, but the change of outfits just asked so much energy. And it might have something to do with her age, or maybe with the fact that this time it were two of them, but being pregnant was very exhausting this time.

And talking about the energy? The lives show dragged so much out of her, you won’t believe it. Everything looks kind of calm if you watch the episodes. They mostly sit down in the chairs for two hours, but prepping the artists and trying to get the best version of themselves was tiring. Especially for Gwen who always wanted to do the best she could considering she felt as if she had the lives and careers of people in her hands.

But the worst part of all of it probably was having to see people go home. No matter what team they were on, Blake knew that at the end of every episode he’d have to hold her while she sobbed.

This obviously is only focussing on the bad side of it. Mark had suggested to replace her with another coach, but Gwen had no ear for that. And all by all, she enjoyed the show. After some performances she had cried just because she had felt the energy in the room. Of course then she made the audience laugh by blaming it on her pregnancy hormones. Obviously we can’t forget about seeing Adam and Blake interact with one another, that would never get old.

But as eventually Blake won the season with a country guy named Craigh, who at one point had been in team Gwen as well, Gwen dared to admit that she was happy it was over. But the second those words had left her lips, she immediately added that she wanted to come back some day, in another season, and hopefully not this highly pregnant, she joked.

 

At home things were amazing. Blake was the chef every day and it still amazes Gwen how good he is at practically everything. Apollo was always hanging around Blake in his cowboy PJ’s which he had been outgrowing, but he refuses to let them throw it away. Most of time, her little one was on Blake’s arm, helping him cook, watching television, picking songs for his contestants back in the live shows or even just doing nothing at all.

Kingston and Blake had their weekly date night, always on Thursdays, on which Blake taught him how to play guitar. They sat upstairs, always pretending that Gwen wasn’t allowed to hear which song they are rehearsing, so they could surprise her with a performance once he learned a new song. But anyhow, Gwen could hear their laughter up until downstairs.

With Zuma, it’s more in the details. They didn’t have a weekly reunion, but he was always open to ask Blake for advice or if he needed help with homework. Back in Oklahoma, he did lean out his harry potter books to the cowboy and they ended up holding a harry potter movie marathon, just the two of them, as soon as Blake had finished all seven books.

It’s also quite normal that the kids were the first ones to be included in the pregnancy secret. They had been super excited and couldn’t wait to get their two other siblings. Zuma and Kingston even betted on which genders they’d have. Kingston was convinced it’d be two boys while Zuma was sure there’d be at least one girl this time.

The next ones they decide to tell right after the first scan, was their parents.  They hadn’t been able to make it to two Sunday lunches at Gwen’s parents house and when they saw each other again after three weeks, Patti immediately noticed something different. They waited until the boys were playing outside to include them.

It basically went like this:

Blake was helping with drying the dices along with Patti. When Gwen had walked in the kitchen with her dad by her side, something funny must’ve been said as the laughter erupted the room. It took a while for Gwen to realise what the joke was about, but                 as soon as she did she rolled her eyes.

“Mom!”, Gwen called her out, to which Patti looked her way. “Are you seriously telling embarrassing stories from when I was a kid?”

An innocence smile grew on her mom’s face.

“Baby, those aren’t embarrassing”, Blake told her while putting a plate down and taking the next one. “You’re cute, 24/7”

Gwen returned his smile while walking around the kitchen island towards Blake. The cowboy flashed her his dimples before quickly brushing his lips on hers.

“You see Blake, honey?”, Patti spoke while staring into her husband’s eyes.

He nodded. “The one kissing my little girl? Yeah I see him”

That made Blake throw his head back to let out a chuckle. He kept his arm hooked around Gwen though, he even pulled her closer.

“Well yes”, Patti answered while giving the beaming couple a short glance but soon found Dennis his eyes again. “But that’s not what I meant. What I meant was that he’s actually helping me with the dishes, makes a woman wonder why not everyone gets theirselves a cowboy”, she teased him, to which Dennis squinted his eyes. Gwen giggled seeing her parents interact as she threw her arms around Blake’s middle.

Dennis grunted while shaking his head amused, before starting to make his way over towards Patti. He stopped right in front of her and took the plate and towel out of her hands.

“Let me take this from you, _please_ ”, He gave her a sweet kiss, before she let go of the plate and smiled at him brightly.

“Um—“, Gwen muttered out then, to which her parents gazed up at her. “How about everyone puts their plates down for a second?”

A small smile came to Gwen’s lips when she saw her dad frown. Yet he did as she suggested and placed it down on the kitchen island.

“I gotta tell you something”

And sure Gwen and her parents had been here before, three times to be exactly. But this was different, even Apollo had been a high risk baby and to be quite honest, he wasn’t really planned, but right now, things were even a bigger surprise. Blake was the complete new one in this situation as he had placed the plate down as well, to be able to get both arms around Gwen’s waist. This way she could feel his support.

“What’s going on, sweetie?”, Dennis asked her with a confused look. She took a deep breath in and soon let another one out.

“Maybe you should sit down”, Gwen decided to say nervously, because seriously, maybe they should. Also she had no idea how to do this, you’d think this gets easier by the years, but not really.

Within all her worrying Gwen barely noticed how her mom had glanced her eyes to her stomach and back up, already feeling like what was coming next.

“Gwen… are you”, she didn’t even dare to finish the question, but the way Gwen had snapped her eyes up at her mom, gave her a straight answer.

Also Dennis his eyes went from his wife to his daughter and back at his wife to end eventually at Gwen. He saw Blake’s arms move tighter around Gwen and it took a few more second to realised his hands were laying on her stomach. His face stayed rather neutral though, as he simply moved his eyes up at his daughter, who had a grin on her face that screamed: _surprise_?

“You’re not kidding, right?”, Dennis dared to ask, to which Gwen let out a soft chuckle. She shook her head.

“13 weeks today”, she said to which she saw her dad swallow. She reached out for her purse and took out the first scan and handed it over to them.

They both looked at it, and instantly Gwen’s mom snapped her head back up and her mouth dropped and the tears sprang in her eyes. For Dennis it took a bit longer.

“Is there something wrong with my sight or am I really seeing double?”,

That made Blake and Gwen let out a few chuckles.

Eventually it all ended in happy hugs. The same thing had happened with Dot. Well not really the same as she literally experienced a rollercoaster.

Confusion. Mouth’s dropped. Shock. Disbelief. Happiness. Tears. More tears. Hugs. Disbelief again. Back to mouth’s dropping open, to then end up in worry.

I think both Gwen and Blake would agree that they’d never had seen so many facial expressions in only a couple seconds time span. It’s quite amazing.

They only informed their friends after the second ultrasound, when the chances that anything might still go wrong were way smaller. RaeLynn’s reaction was priceless and actually if you think about it, really similar to Blake’s moms. Luke had almost chocked in his water, when they told him backstage on one of his concerts. The poor man really had to take a few minutes to recover. It was quite funny to see everyone’s reaction. It’s also just a shocker, you know? Being 46 years old, being together for basically the same amount of time that they were pregnant.. some would even call it a _miracle_.

 

 

The second ultrasound at twenty weeks went kind of the same as the first. Both of them were super nervous, which ended up being absolutely unnecessary.  Both babies were doing absolutely great, which again ended with Gwen crying non-stop. The difference now though is that as Blake was holding her, a few secret tears left his eyes as well. He was so relieved. They were going to be ok… He was looking down at the blonde woman with a huge belly by now who was resting on his chest. It’s hard to believe he had only met her for the first time around nine months ago. He was alive back then, sure, like he was breathing just fine, but maybe that was the probably, because ever since Gwen came in the picture, his heart had started beating faster. His smiles had become effortless and even if today he felt insecure about how fast this all is going or about how it seemed too good to be true, only one glimpse of her coffee brown eyes was enough to make his dimples pop. He ran his fingers through her hairs. And at one point, she tilted her head up and she smiled at him. Her hands framed his face and she wiped away the remains of his tears. Man, he loves her.

 

“Twins?”, The green eyed girl was glowing. “I always wanted twins”,

Gwen stretched her arm out to take the girl her hand. Softly Gwen stroked her thumb over the back of her very pale skin.

“You do?”,

“I did”, She sleepily corrected the singer before blinking her eyes back open. Lightly she moved her gaze over to the handsome cowboy sitting right beside Gwen. A content smile grew on her lips when hesitantly she met Gwen’s again. There was a short, meaningful silence.

“You’ll enjoy them for me as well?”, Her voice was weak, as if every word was effortful and painful. The blonde had to throw her head up, closing her eyes to prevent the tears from falling.

“What do you mean?”, Blake asked while finding her eyes, afraid to face the truth.

“Your twins”, she spoke contently while blinking a few times, fighting against the sleep. “Spoil them with love in my place as well”,

The cowboy’s forehead wrinkled as he swallowed. He could feel tears start forming in his blue eyes as well.

“Lily, you might—“, she hushed him while shaking her head faintly.

“No I won’t”, her voice was only a whisper as she gave him a fulfilled smile. “every day that passes, is a day less to suffer”

A tear ran over Gwen’s cheek and she let it roll. She couldn’t make her hands leave her little one. At Gwen’s side, Blake brought his hand up to quickly wipe at his eyes.

“Don’t be sad”, Lily took a deep breath in. “I’m in peace with it”,

“You shouldn’t have to”, Gwen mumbled underneath her breath while she looked down. This is all so unfair. The kid squeezed her hand to which Gwen moved her head back up and met her eyes. A small smile appeared.

“Thank you for everything”,

Gwen tried her hardest not to cry as she simply nodded.

“How ‘bout ya just sing me my song now?”, she tiredly asked while allowing her eyes to fly over at Blake, who was already nodding.

“I didn’t bring my guitar, but I can still sing”,

Lily nodded happily. With his arms, he pushed himself up from the seat and walked over to sitting at the edge of her bed. Blake’s hand came to rest on her back and she contently shut her eyes. Her hand still in Gwen’s.

_“Hey Lily, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better…. And anytime you feel the pain, hey Lily, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders...”_

 

It was the last time they had the pleasure of talking with the green-eyed, optimistic _but_ realistic nine year old. Not even a week after that visit, Lily passed away. From what Gwen and Blake had heard, it was with all her family surrounding her. She had never been able to see her brown hairs grow again, she hadn’t been able to go out and life, she had never been able to get out of the hospital. Nine year old. It’s such a shame. Gwen cried her eyes out and I’m not gonna deny the fact that Blake had shed many tears as well, while he held his girlfriend in his arms.

The funeral was a couple days later. Blake and Gwen got an invitation, and as the good man Blake is, he asked the mother if he could speak some kind words. He hadn’t known her long or good, but he knew how much Lily had supported Gwen when he was in a coma, and how her prayers helped him come back to Gwen. So as the day arrived, everyone was dressed in black, there was that little coffin in the front. Two frame on top of it, of a beautiful shining girl. It were two pictures. One with brown, curling long hairs as she was sitting somewhere in the nature, it instantly made the blonde singer smile. But the second one was with her bandana, in her hospital bed, just like Gwen had known her. She was smiling as well and she did seem genuinely happy, but yet Gwen saw how she had lost faith in winning the battle there already as well. Gwen closed her eyes as she vaguely heard a priest speak about the young girl. Blake had his arms wrapped around her stomach and out of comfort, her hands landed on his. At one point Blake had walked at the stage as well. A guitar had been given to him and Gwen smiled at her beautiful cowboy.

He looked handsome, even though his eyes were quite somber today, he still looked so very gorgeous. At that point she could feel the babies start kicking, to which Gwen closed her eyes and shortly smiled. She moved her hands over her stomach. “Yeah, that’s daddy”, she whispered before turning her attention right back on her cowboy who had started to sing Lily’s favorite song. _Home_.

“May be surrounded by a million people I would still feel all alone, I wanna go home… _Oh, I miss you, you know_ ”

 

 

 

 _Home_ … what is a definition of a home?

\-   A place where one lives

An environment affording security and happiness

The house where your wi-fi connects automatically -

No, no a place where you feel you belong. A place where you are wanted, _a place I’m with you and you’re with me._ Home is a house filled with laughter, a safe haven, filled with love from a family. Home is having your partner in crime, your best friend, one that knows all your secrets by your side. And if you’re able to look out of that person’s eyes for a second and look down? If you’re lucky, their might just as well be little ones running around, coming from pure beauty that love creates. Home is where your heart is, it’s a cliché. But dammit it’s true.

Blake’s arm was tightly wrapped around Gwen’s waist. His eyes wandered over the bright blue sky. Not one single cloud visible. There was a warm summer breeze riffling through the leaves, but outside from that it was pure silence. Now and then you could hear a bird chipping and some even seeming to sing a quiet song. His blonde lady tilted her head and gazed up at his crystal eyes. Instantly the world seemed to disappear when his eyes locked with hers. His dimples came alive and the sparkle in his eyes never left.

Gwen’s smile still sweeps him of his feet and makes his heart race. They got lost in each other for a couple seconds and enjoyed the silence when suddenly a shriek reached their ears.

Blake’s eyes travel down to find the course of the noise and his eyes locked with a blue color. A tiny hand reached up blindly, wobbling it in the air, causing both parents to let out a soft chuckle.

“Hi baby girl”, Blake whispered while pulling his arm away from around Gwen to gently stroke his finger over that soft cheek. Instantly the little one reacted by smacking her lips a couple of times before closing her blue eyes again. His arm wrapped back around Gwen while travelling his eyes up to the tiny human being laying in her arms. Both of the little ones were wearing matching jumpsuits. It was a yellow color filled with tiny images of cowboy boots and black pumps, soon available via LAMB. The second one was sucking on her thumb contently, as her eyes were tightly shut. Clearly into a deep slumber.

He glanced over at the beautiful white lilies and smiled when he pictured the green eyed girl again. Before he turned back over to Gwen he read the name on the thumb stone one last time.

_Lily Fields. 2005-2015_

The cowboy leaned in to brush his lips against Gwen’s cheeks, while stroking his hand over the small of her back. His hand travelled back around her and covered Gwen’s hand that was holding a tight grip on her baby. He stroked his fingers over the back of Gwen’s hand before placing his hand over hers, feeling the diamond against the palm of his hand. A smile appeared on his face, as she looked at him again and saw the future in his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Gwen was pouring orange juice in Zuma’s glass, when she heard laughter coming from upstairs.

Kingston chuckled when he saw his mom roll her eyes amused.

Soon the noise was followed by hearing footsteps running off the stairs.

 “Be careful sweet girl!”, The country accent was now only partly amused, as the other half of it was filled with worry. Luckily the footsteps arrived safely downstairs and only a second later a body came running into the kitchen.

She was running so fast, that when she arrived at her mom’s side, she had to take a hold of Gwen’s middle, to keep herself from falling down.

“Easy girl”, Gwen giggled before leaning down and placing a kiss on her brown, curling hairs. When Gwen stood back up, the tiny arms wrapped around her middle again, and it tightened even more when footsteps were heard on the stairs again.

“ _Lily_! Where are you?”

Blake’s voice broke through playfully and soon the cowboy appeared in the doorframe with another brown haired girl hanging around his neck. Lily let out a loud shriek, as she quickly ran away from her mom and hid behind the kitchen island. A country chuckle followed while he tilted his head all kinds of directions to find the girl.

Blake crouched down then, to let the other one off of his back and faced her. He brought his fingers to his lips to tell her to be quiet. The girl nodded while showing off not only her dimples, but also the fact that she had just lost one of her front teeth. She looked absolutely adorable.

Blake returned her sweet smile while bringing his hand up to cup her cheek and stroke his thumb over her soft skin, as he realised his daughters were growing up so fast.

“Come out, come out, wherever you are”, Blake gave her a sweet wink, before standing back up and he chuckled.

Lily’s breathing was still rather heavy from running around and racing off the stairs, that it wasn’t that hard for Blake to figure out where she was. With muffled steps, he walked over to the kitchen island and all at once he jumped from behind it. He was face to face with those blue eyes again and a high, brown, wavy ponytail on her head.

She was completely caught off guard, as she let out a scream. There was no chance in getting away any longer, as Blake’s arms wrapped themselves around her and within ease threw her over his shoulder. She let out high pinched cries and threw her legs up and down. Blake tickled her side and the laughter only increased.

Gwen beamed at the both of them as she had just tilted her other daughter on top of her lap, to give her a good morning kiss.

At some point as Blake was tickling one of his little girls, Gwen’s figure caught his eyes, to which his hands stopped moving and instead tilted her off of his shoulder and made her feet hit the ground again. He crouched down for a single second again and placed a kiss on his daughter’s cheek.

“Now don’t you dare ever say uncle Adam is a better singer, you hear me?”

That made Gwen let out a laugh as she glanced over her shoulder, to find Lily nodding. Blake flashed her his dimples and only a second later, Lily did the same.

“Now eat something so you can hop in the shower right after Apollo”,  

Blake stood back up and walked straight up to Gwen. He threw his arms around her neck and leaned down to brush his lips against her cheek. Gwen closed her eyes contently by feeling his touch and moved her head to lean against his chest.

“Good morning honey”,

“Good morning”, She stroked her hand over his arms a couple of times, before he pulled away and moved over towards Zuma to place a kiss on top of his blond hairs, before he sat down at the table as well.

“Hey King, are you gonna be home tonight?”

Instantly he nodded at Blake.

“Of course, it’s Thursday”, he smiled brightly before taking another bite of his bread. “I have a good idea of which song I want you to learn me next”

“Which one you thinking about?”, Blake curiously asked while reaching out for the cereal. The cowboy suddenly noticed how the 16year old hesitated to answer. So his blue eyes moved up to find King’s at the other side of the table. Everyone’s eyes were right on Kingston by then, waiting for an answer.

“um”, he glanced over at his mom a bit nervously, to which Blake frowned. Just when the cowboy was about to try to change the subject, King rambled it out.

“Sure Be Cool If You Did”, and a smirk grew on Blake’s lips.

“Ohhh isn’t that a love song?”, Zuma teased Kingston, which made Gwen’s eyes pop up as it caught her attention. Her eyes moved from Zuma to King, who was slightly blushing.

“Does anyone wants some cereal?”, Blake casually asked, trying to help King out, but it was too late for that.

“Kingston is in love!”,

Instantly King threw his sister a mad glance.

“ _Grace_!”, He whispered underneath his breathe, slightly pissed, while kicking her under the table.

“What?”, She asked innocently while placing with her hair. “Wasn’t I allowed to tell?”

“Wait who is in love?”, Apollo interrupted as he just walked in while drying his long curly hairs with a towel.

“I think it’s time for me to get in the shower!”, Grace tried to get out of Kingston’s angry gaze, but as she jumped off her chair and was gonna run out of the kitchen, Blake took her by the arm.

“It’s Lily’s turn, sweetheart”,

He moved her towards him and pulled an arm around her instead, keeping her close. But Lily kept seated as she was interested in the sudden weird energy around the table.

“Who is the girl?”, Blake tried casual then, but yet still he saw King bite his lip nervously.

“Just someone at school”,

Gwen’s mouth dropped before closing it again and nodding then.

“Oh ok”, she said then trying to use her nonchalant voice but failing, to which King let out a sigh. “What’s her name?”

“Jesus, why do you guys make such a big deal out of it? Apollo has a girlfriend and no one acted so surprised about that!”

 _Yeah well Apollo is 10_ , Gwen thought, but didn’t say it out loud.

“Well, we also know Apollo’s girlfriend, don’t we?”

“Yeah duh, we’ve known Dusty since she was a baby”, Kingston answered, while glancing over at Apollo, who smiled proudly when Dusty’s name popped up.

“Yeah but you are sixteen”, Gwen said, not really knowing what else to say, so she turned her head up at Blake, giving him a look.

“Why don’t you say something?”

Blake hesitated. “Well, um,  I was sixteen as well with my first girlfriend”,

“Not that!”, Gwen said while giving him a glance in disbelief. When she looked back over at Kingston, she saw him laughing with Blake’s comment.

“How old were you when you had your first boyf—“,

“That’s irrelevant!”, Gwen cut Kingston off, to which the entire table started laughing. Suddenly Gwen turned her eyes to Blake while squinting her eyes at him.

“Look sweetie, I just think it’s normal to—“,

“Oh ok, I see”, Gwen interrupted him again, as her eyes turned mischievously. “I’m already really excited for one of girls to have a boyfriend, like right girls? Daddy will be very excited”,

Blake’s face instantly fell when suddenly he didn’t think it was funny any longer. He stared at her with ‘that’s not funny at all’ kinda eyes, to which his wife’s grin only grew wider.

“Right, Blakey?”, Gwen asked with a smirk, which made the three boys start laughing really hard.

“Sure, yeah, I’d be—“, his voice faded as he was glancing over at Grace still standing by his side and then to Lily sitting a little further away. And he decided he couldn’t get the words over his lips. Like no? He wouldn’t be excited at all!

“They are six, Gwen, it’ s different like it will take a few more years. You guys aren’t dating yet, right?”

Both girls shook their heads simultaneously , which made Blake let out a relieved sight.

“Not yet!”, Grace said then to which Blake instantly snapped his head at her. “I do like Jake though”,

That made Gwen throw her head back to let out a loud laugh.

“Jake? As in RaeLynn’s son?”,

She nodded her head enthusiastically. “I’m pretty sure he likes me too!”, And right after that she ran out of Blake’s arm and ran up to her chair again while giggling. The cowboy hid his face in his hands as he could hear Gwen’s beaming laughter and a few seconds later, feel her tiny hand on his leg. Blake looked up at Gwen then, to still find amusement in her gorgeous, brown eyes.

“Maybe we shouldn’t be friends with RaeLynn any longer, I mean, we aren’t that close right?”

Kingston laughed while shaking his head, while Blake kept dead serious for a couple more seconds. Also Gwen giggled with a smirk while in the meantime Blake’s hand landed in hers.

By the feeling of her warm skin, he seemed to get his smile back while making circles over her skin, which also seemed to make Gwen feel more relaxed over the situation.

He kept his eyes locked with his gorgeous wife for a few more seconds, while he flashed her his dimples. She smiled right back and it amazed him how she still shyly glances away from him sometimes. How after quite some years already, they are still in this phase of feeling butterflies and getting a pink blush whenever one checks the other out.

Eventually he brought their intertwined hands up and placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand. That caught her attention, as their eyes locked again. He gave her a small wink, to which she grinned at him, while winking back.

The second their eyes found the breakfast table again, he was faced by his beautiful family…  Wow. A family once upon a time he had given up hope on having. Three beautiful, well behaved boys and two lovely, and playful girls... and wow, Blake wouldn't mind if time would froze from now on, because they were growing up so fast...

Soon the seriousness returned though, as Blake’s thumb stroked over Gwen’s hand. Blake’s eyes fell on King and he gave the boy a sweet smile, which he nervously returned.

_“It’s ok to not want to tell us yet, I get that… But know this, if she makes you smile, if she makes you laugh and if she just generally makes you happy as much as your mom makes me, then realise you’re the luckiest guy in the world”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye Saving Grace.
> 
> Thank you all for the comments and the kudos. 
> 
> Love, Noor

**Author's Note:**

> xo Noor


End file.
